“He says you’re okay for a POG, and that you’re either a lucky son of a bitch or a straight up shit magnet that can get himself out of a jam. He can’t figure out which.”
“Oh, I guess… I mean… Cool. So, can I marry your daughter?” I blurted out.
His eyes bugged for a moment, and a vein I hadn’t noticed before pulsed visibly on his forehead. Tall, thin… Probably a runner like Tina, hell, they were all probably fitness nuts. I figured if I ran like hell and screamed like a girl, I might only prolong my life another thirty seconds? A minute maybe, if I wasn’t so beaten up and concussed? I really weighed my options for a second there.
“What do you think?” he said, his voice low with a rumble to it that made me think blurting out the question was a bad idea.
Opus chuffed. Ophelia looked up at him, surprised, and then chuffed as well, before putting her head back down in my lap.
“Looks like the vote’s unanimous with everybody present,” he said and put his hand out. “Welcome to the family.”
26
Rick
“Dude,” Al said, walking into the mini storage. “You look like hell.”
“I love you too, man,” I shot back.
Ophelia sat up, her head above the counter surface we used for our desk in the public office.
“Bro, I’m not like that. Hey, Sonja and Tina… You sure there isn’t something in the water, man?”
“Why? You feeling the pressure to go to Mr. Z’s and get you a diamond?”
“Dude,” he said, his face turning ashen.
I pointed to the chair across from me and he flopped into it, his body seeming to lose enough cohesion to hold him upright with the mention of an engagement ring.
“Sorry, I know you like her. I don’t want to push.”
“You really think they’re looking at rings?” he asked, the surfer persona gone.
“I know they are, but Tina’s picking mine out. I went with her once and they got my sizing. She’s going to surprise me with it. I mean, I know I’m getting one, I just don’t know which one. Don’t be surprised if the girls all go goo-goo gaga over something they just happened to accidentally see.”
“What kind of damage can that cause, am I right?”
“I don’t know. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes momma and a baby carriage—”
“Dude, shut up man,” he said, and let out an easy laugh and leaned forward. “So, what about you two? Going to have you some pups?”
“Well, it’s too early to breed Ophelia and she has to be in heat first—”
“Naw, I mean, are you and Tina wanting to have kids… after the wedding?”
“Back that truck up,” I told him, putting my hands up.
“Ha, bro! Now you feel the squirm!”
“You’re so twelve,” I told him, laughing.
“So, you’re doing office duty today?”
“Yeah, I’ve been sitting here, working on writing stuff and playing around with an outline for something new.”
“Oh yeah? No more sexy werewolves and were-bears ravishing the ladies?”
“No,” I said with a grin, refusing to rise to the bait. “I was thinking about writing prepper fiction. I don’t know much about prepping, as I’m new in the lifestyle, but I can see that there would be a big market for it. Maybe as big as Paranormal Romance? I don’t know. I’m going to write a few serials, see how they do, and then tie into some novels into the same kind of world.”
“I don’t know what you just said, but it sounds cool to me. So, like that one book One Second After or Light’s Out… the one by Crawford?”
“I didn’t know you… you could read?” I asked him, surprised.
He threw his head back and laughed until his eyes leaked moisture at the edges. Ophelia barked at him, probably in an attempt to tell him to shut up. She didn’t have her phonics down like Opus did, not yet, but I could already decipher about a third of her verbal and non-verbals. The rest was just guess work.
“Dude, remember when I got stuck in jail after that protest?”
“The one where I told you to sleep with one hand over your butt?”
The color drained out of his face and for a second he looked like he was about to say something, but the expression broke and he smiled again.
“Yeah man, that time. I couldn’t sleep and a dude had that book. Thought they took all stuff off of you when they throw you in the tank, but I mean it was a book, right? So, I read Lights Out. Mutant Zombie Bikers. Man, that was a really eye-opening book.”
“I know,” I told him softly. “One Second After scares the crap out of me.”
“Cuz it could totally be true,” Al said, back into character again.
“It could. I mean, times are scary. The grid isn’t hardened like it should be, and our country’s leaders have had a chance to do it, but…”
“That’s why you got to get politically active man. Make a difference. Rise up, resist—”
“Hold on there,” I said putting a hand up. “That’s not likely to happen. I don’t like being around a ton of people, and I really hate politics.”
“I know, I know, I was kidding you bro. For real though, you and Tina pick out where the wedding is going to be?”
“We did. Her parents are going to fly up here. We’re planning on a fall wedding up north, near Sarge and Annette.”
“Dude, that’s so awesome. So, uh… can I get an invite?” Al asked.
“I was sort of hoping you’d be my best man,” I told him. “If you want to stand with me.”
“I got your back, bro,” he said, a huge grin breaking out on his face. “That means I can do the wild party with the ladies and—”
“Run that one by Sonja first,” I told him, cutting his words off.
He made a finger gun and shot it at me. “Dude, I didn’t know you knew her name.”
“I can’t call her Taco Bell girl forever. Besides, I did it to bug you.”
“I know man. All friendships have quirks.”
Ophelia chuffed in agreement and then walked around the desk and put her head next to his hip. He rubbed her head, scratching behind her ears.
“Opus with Tina?” he asked.
“Yeah. The whole thing with Utah freaked her out. She thought I was in worse shape than I was. She still has nightmares, sometimes.”
“Dude, you almost died. It wasn’t like some meth heads trying to make off with your food. This dude had you dig your own grave ‘n’ shit.”
“Yeah, for a while there, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. The whole time we thought it was somebody coming after me because of the writing or some sort of… I don’t know…”
“Kidnap you to ransom type of stuff?”
“I guess? I mean, it’s dumb. I’m just a guy who has a weird job.”
“You make shit up for a living, and you make a lot of money doing it,” Al said with a grin. “Which by the way, can you loan me some—”
“You know I will. Your raise doesn’t kick in until the end of the month, right?”
“Yeah. Assistant Manager. It pays better and it comes with good benefits,” he said proudly.
“Yeah, so when you get married and have kids you have everything all covered. Next, you’ll need a white picket fence, a dog, three point one kids and a minivan.”
“Dude, that might be going a little too far. We’re friends, but we’re not that good of…” he laughed. “Naw, we’re cool, and maybe. I just have to work up the courage. I’ve been thinking about asking her.”
“No kidding?” I asked him.
“Yeah, I know,” he said, his voice changing.
He sat up straighter and ran his fingers through his hair, straightening it out. “I guess it’s time for me to grow up. I’ve been just me so long that thinking of becoming half of an entire unit… it changes you in a way, right?”
“Yes, but if you love her, the change is well worth it. In fact, I’d highly recommend it. If you love her.”
/> “Damn, dude. Got a beer or something? This convo just got way heavy,” he said, persona back in place.
“I do, hold on,” I said, and got up.
Ophelia ran to my side and I opened the door separating the house portion from the office and went to the fridge. I grabbed a few Budweiser’s and walked back out and sat down. Sitting on the desk between us was a stack of money and plastic eyes. I looked up at Al, sharply.
“What’s that?” I asked him.
He busted up laughing and reached for a couple of the beers in my hands that were now on the verge of dropping the bottles.
“My little joke to you, bro. Since you scared the crap out of me about sleeping with a hand over my butt, I figured I’d unhinge you a little. If I would have known you were being stalked for real, I never would have done it,” he said, twisting the top and putting the cap on the table between us. I followed suit. “As soon as I heard what happened to you in Utah, I wanted to tell you.”
“I…” The words wouldn’t come.
“I’m sorry, bro. I was joking, but I realized that the timing and optics of that were horrible. I hope you can forgive me for that.”
“That was you?” I asked him, draining half a beer in one go and burping as quietly as I could.
“Yeah,” he said and looked down at his lap.
“Dude, of all of the things a brother does to another…”
He wasn’t looking, so I took the bottom of my beer bottle and smacked the top of his, making the bottle sing out and beer shot straight up, splattering his face.
“Holy shit—”
My laugher cut him off, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you,” I said, gasping for air. “I’m not mad, I just hadn’t figured that part out yet,” I told him, losing my shit and feeling all the remaining tension leave me from the ordeal.
The news came on the TV behind us, and it was replaying what had happened nearly three weeks ago. An intrepid reporter and cameraman had snuck in and tried to interview me the day I checked out and I’d thrown them out of my room, with Opus and Ophelia on either side of me, snarling. The still-shot from the footage showed me in a hospital gown, both dogs with teeth bared and Tina going hulk as she pointed in the lady reporter’s face, yelling expletives that would have made Sarge proud.
“With that kind of coverage,” Al said pointing at the TV, “I think you can sell any kind of books, bro. Never let a good crisis go to waste. Make it your opportunity. It’s like politics…”
I gave him the side-eye. “Al.”
“Okay, okay. I get it, man. So, when is the official wedding and reception?”
27
Rick
“Of all the men I’ve ever had the pleasure, or displeasure to meet,” Sarge said, and then paused to catch his breath. “Rick is just about the biggest Johnson-pulling, no account, brass-balled, pencil-dicked...”
I felt like I was about to die. Was Sarge really doing this? Could I die from stage fright?
Sarge continued, “…finest young man I’ve ever met. He might not be a trigger-puller, never served, but he’s a fine example of somebody I’d gladly share a foxhole with if he wasn’t such a shit magnet— ouch!”
Annette smiled sweetly as she put her fork down. Sarge was rubbing the side of a butt cheek. Sonja had a hand over her mouth, whether to hold in giggles or in shock I didn’t know. Al was giving Sarge a laughing thumbs up.
“So, in conclusion, I think he’s a good guy, and he’s going to make her happy, and this is the last time the heart Doc says I can get drunk. Cheers!”
“Cheers!” the hall bellowed back, and we all raised our glasses and drank amidst the laughing.
I might have downed all of the champagne in one go, but somebody was quick to refill my glass. I drank it again until Tina pulled my hand back.
“Nervous?” she asked.
“Yes,” I told her.
“The hard part is done, silly.”
“I know… but there are all these people,” I said, looking at the crowd.
“Most of them are my family, but there are some people here you might recognize.”
I looked at my left hand, at the ring there. Tina’s matched, but she had a stone on hers. I immediately thought of writing, and would that extra little bit of weight throw off my typing speed? Tina saw me looking at my hand and placed hers over mine again.
“Time to dance,” she said, and pulled me to my feet.
This I could do. I would just stare into her eyes. Hell, I’d been watching YouTube and practicing slow dancing when nobody was around to watch, so I wouldn’t trip over both feet. No way. We made our way to the center, where the tables had been pulled back, leaving a dance floor big enough for twenty couples. This first dance though, was ours, and from what my research had told me, then it was the father-daughter, me and her mom… then… the wedding party? So many people here, I didn’t know this many people, did I?
“Don’t let him pass out,” Martin’s voice called out from the crowd.
“Don’t lock your knees,” Karen’s voice called.
I found them in the crowd and broke into a smile. We’d elected to have our wedding in Michigan, and knowing Bud couldn’t travel, we’d done our ceremony and honeymoon in the same small town where I parked War Wagon in the summertime.
“Who invited you guys?” I called back, jokingly.
“I did. Part of your police protection,” Bern called back.
I turned to find him and real joy kind of hit me. They barely knew me, but they’d showed up. I mean, it had been partly my fault he’d been snagged by the tweakers last year. Still, he’d showed up, and his joke was funny, and he was in uniform.
“I appreciate it!” I called back.
“Now, now, that isn’t very proper,” Tina said softly as she pressed her body near mine.
I took one hand and placed the other around the small of her back and leaned back a little bit and took in her features. Her gown was perfect, her hair shone and had some sparkle to it. Her makeup was almost nonexistent, just a little bit of highlighting around her eyes, and her shoes…white with a small heel that made Tina seem almost two inches taller.
My breath caught in my throat.
“I love you. To hell with being proper,” I told her, and kissed her as the crowd cheered.
After I pulled back, she looked at me funny and tilted her head to the side a little bit.
“You know, you’re right.”
“I am?” I asked.
“Yes. To hell with being proper,” she said, as she let go of my hand and pushed herself back.
The music, where was the music? Weren’t we supposed to be dancing? Everyone was looking, some were smiling, some were whispering. I looked at the head table and saw Sarge staring right back at me, his thumb up in the air. Annette was blowing a kiss, and then a sharp whistle went through the air, so shrill I stepped back a second before realizing it was coming from Tina.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
“Answering the question first,” she said as two furry shapes erupted from under the head table and headed to the dance floor.
“What question?” I asked as Opus and Ophelia came running at us.
“Just like we practiced,” Tina told them, over the growing murmur of voices.
“Practiced what?”
“You’re going to love this,” Tina said with a grin.
“I am?” I asked, as both dogs pressed themselves close to both of us. Opus on Tina’s side, Ophelia on mine.
The amplified PA system kicked in, the bass almost drowning out the lyrics.
“Who let the dogs out?”
I laughed, and I looked up at the head table. Tina’s mother and father were laughing and standing, and began to dance. What the hell, let's have fun. It was the first night we’d have together as a married couple, for the rest of our lives.
Even then, that might not be long enough.
28
Tina & Opus
The furry traitor w
as now Tina’s. Rick had been working with Ophelia every day at the training center, which was really an old farm with five acres fenced in and a dozen K-9 units from the county all coming together, dogs and handlers learning from the best of the best.
Opus was laying down next to Tina, who’d been laying on the couch and listening for the ding of the office’s front door. She’d had Pepto three times already and wasn’t feeling the greatest. For a Saturday, the mini storage had been especially quiet.
“So, are you and Ophelia getting along?”
Opus let out a chuff and then sighed, laying down in Tina’s lap, his head resting against her upset stomach. She thought about asking him to move for a second, but the nausea seemed to pass quickly and she sighed in relief.
Opus let out a surprised whine and sat back up, looking pointedly at Tina’s stomach.
“I know, I know. I just found out myself,” Tina told him, rubbing his head and scratching his ears.
He hadn’t missed the worry in her tone.
Opus let out another chuff, then laid his head back on her lap, rubbing his left ear against her belly button this time. It didn’t make the nausea come back, but she knew what he was doing suddenly. Tina was built elfin like. She wasn’t tall and graceful like her mother, she was more of the shorter, athletic build. Still, she’d barely noticed the small bump that was forming.
They had all slowed down after their ordeal in the desert and Opus once again rubbed his head against her stomach, his ear next to her belly button. It might have been in her mind, but she thought she felt a wiggle again. Too early to feel it, she thought, and held up the pregnancy test.
‘+ +,’ was what it showed.
“Looks like you’re going to have another human to help take care of,” Tina said, rubbing his head again.
Opus barked softly and rolled on his back, so he could look up at the human he owned. He yawned, then smiled at her, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth.
Opus Odyssey: A Survival and Preparedness Story (One Man's Opus Book 2) Page 19
