His eyes flickered. “I hadn’t meant to. It was obvious you didn’t want to be saddled with me.”
She searched his face. “For some reason I thought it was more than that.”
“I’d just heard Jessica was pregnant. I wasn’t completely over that.”
“And now?” Senetra rubbed his arm.
“Jessica is part of my past. You’re my present and I’m satisfied with this new and exciting relationship with you.” He kissed her nose, but Senetra wasn’t convinced he was completely over Jessica yet.
She had to be careful with her heart. Rebound situations could be tricky.
Senetra stood at the bay, waiting for Alex’s plane to take off for Anchorage. She wished he could stay longer and so did he.
“Here’s my number,” he said, handing her a card. “Both my cell and my office numbers and e-mail. If you need me for anything—absolutely anything—call me.” He wrapped a hand around the side of her neck. “This is special, what we have.”
“I—”
“It is. I know what I feel when I’m with you. And it’s special.”
“You don’t know me at all,” Senetra said, wondering what he’d really feel about a woman who let herself be victimized the way she had. Who’d let herself be completely taken over by another person. She knew it started with a systematic attack on her self-esteem. But when a person hadn’t experienced it, he didn’t quite see it that way.
“I know what counts.” It was time for him to board the plane. “I’ll call you.” He smiled. “You’re going to get tired of hearing from me.”
Senetra smiled, too. “I doubt it.”
“When do you get out for the summer?”
“The middle of June.”
“Send me an e-mail of the exact date. I’ll take that week off,” he said, “if you’ll spend it with me. We can tour the islands together. We’ll take the southwest route to Unalaska and Dutch Harbor with stops at Kodiak, Port Lions, Chignik, Sand Point and a few more places. It’s absolutely beautiful. We’ll see the active volcanoes, birds and wildlife like seals and walruses. I’ll book a stateroom and rent a four-wheel-drive. Some of the roads are pretty treacherous, so you don’t want to use your own vehicle.”
“That sounds wonderful, but let’s wait and see. We’ve got time.”
“We’ll talk about it. It’s a wonderful tour. You’ll have a great time. I promise.”
“I—”
He touched her lips. “Just think about it.”
People were beginning to board the plane.
“I have to go.” They both got out of the SUV. He pulled her close and kissed her deeply one last time as if he didn’t want to let her go. “I’ll call.” And then he was walking aboard.
Once he disappeared, Senetra watched until the plane took off. She felt as if she’d lived a year in one weekend.
Chapter 8
Spring break was coming soon, Senetra thought as she gathered mail from her box. Many of her friends were taking trips to warmer climates or participating in some family activity in the area. Even Kathryn was planning a trip with Rick. But Senetra made no plans. Would the rest of her life be this way? Time would pass by, but she’d stay hidden and hovering in this quiet little town. True, she liked the area, but she’d planned to see other places, to see the world.
The idea of taking the trip with Alex when school closed was tempting. She weighed the pros and cons. She was comfortable with Alex. But the locations would take her away from her escape route, her sense of safety.
Besides, she’d always wanted to tour other places in Alaska and wasn’t likely to do so alone. At the sites he’d mentioned, she probably wouldn’t see anyone from her past. She laughed. No indeed. Not even Timothy would don rugged wear and tramp around in the tall grass with binoculars to watch caribou, bears and birds.
If it wasn’t a political engagement or a suit-and-tie affair, Timothy wouldn’t be interested.
“Trying to solve the problems of the world?” Kathryn said, coming up beside her.
“Not exactly. Alex wants to go away with me at the end of the school year.”
“To where?” she asked, and Senetra told her.
“And you’re actually considering going?” Kathryn asked, clearly surprised, yet pleased. “My God, I thought I’d have to tie you up for your birthday weekend. You’ve come a long way, girl.”
Senetra moaned. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“He’s had a good effect on you. I couldn’t believe it when he woke us up at seven telling us he was taking you clamming. I just couldn’t picture you digging in the mud, much less pulling slippery clams out of it, or did you just hold the bucket? You’re always so put together, you know. I’ll go digging in the mud, but not you.”
“I’m open for new challenges,” Senetra assured her.
Kathryn gave her a droll look. “This is Kat you’re talking to, kiddo. When you first came here, a stroll down to the Spit was a big deal for you. We’re a couple of blocks away. I couldn’t believe you actually drove there at first.”
Senetra stuck her nose in the air. “There are bears all around. Of course I drove there.”
Kathryn laughed. “You act as if you need a getaway car everywhere you go.”
Kathryn didn’t know it, but she wasn’t far from the truth. But she wondered if others shared the same impression. “Was I that bad?”
Kathryn nodded. “Yeah. But that’s okay. You’re not snobbish, just reserved. And I can live with that. Sometimes I come on a little too strong.”
“I think I needed that. Thanks for being my friend.”
She hugged Kathryn.
“Oh, Reg. You’re my friend, too,” Kathryn said.
“So what are you doing for the break?”
“Rick wants to do some hiking, but I want a more relaxing vacation where we can do some of the things I like for a change. A spa or lie out on a beach. Rick can go fishing in Hawaii, but sometimes I wish we could just spend the day together without me feeling like I have to compete in a sport.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“Sure I do, but when Rick starts planning, he hears only what he wants to. He’s even thinking of moving to a more remote location in Alaska. Somewhere farther north, but I don’t want to leave here,” Kathryn said. “I like it for the same reason you do. It’s remote enough, but with plenty to do and with cultural activities. I don’t want to live in an area without modern conveniences. I want to buy a house here.” Kathryn emitted a long sigh. “I’m just so frustrated. We’ve dated for two years now, and I don’t think we’re getting any closer to settling down.”
“Tell you the truth, settling down here sounds ideal to me, too,” Senetra said.
“You think Alex will want to stay here forever?”
“I just met Alex. I can’t plan my future around him. He may have other plans.”
Kathryn shook her head. “You never can tell about people. I can see you snuggled down with husband and children, directing every facet of their lives. He’d have to introduce them to more adventurous pursuits, but I can see you trotting them to piano lessons and ballet classes. Hubby would have to do the skiing and fishing.”
Had she changed that much? “Ah, bliss.”
They reached Senetra’s apartment. She opened the door and both of them went in.
“For some. I wanted to explore the world before I settled down, but I never expected to be single forever. I’m twenty-eight,” Kathryn murmured. “I’ve done many of the things I’ve wanted to do.”
“I’ve just begun.” She’d had dreams, too. She’d thought she and Timothy could one day travel and enjoy the world together. In her dreams, Alaska was a cruise and side trips, not where she lived or took weeklong trips roughing it. But she’d enjoyed clamming with Alex. And on her birthday weekend, a time when she’d thought she’d celebrate it swamped in nostalgia and missing her mother, she’d enjoyed the B and B, walking on the glacier and skiing with her friends and Alex. Most of all,
she’d enjoyed being snuggled up in his arms.
She had no doubt she’d enjoy their week’s adventure on the ferry. She was going to do it. She wondered if she’d ever trust him enough to tell him about her past.
“I may as well go. I’ll pick you up at nine for the bar.”
“Okay,” Senetra said, missing Alex already.
Alex left work and made his way to his room, wondering if he really was going to make it two more years there. Most guys had pictures of loved ones on their bedside tables, but not him. Sensing her reticence, he hadn’t asked Senetra for one.
He’d called Senetra practically every night. He was trying not to make a pest of himself, but he found himself dialing her number. The last two years hadn’t been so bad. He didn’t really have anything to go back home to, but now…
He smiled when he heard Senetra’s sweet voice. “Going to the Pit tonight?” he asked.
“I let Kat talk me into it. What about you? What do you do for fun there?”
“They have a game room. Movie night. I’ll probably just watch a movie in my room, or I might play cards or shoot pool. Who knows?”
“Oh, well, I won’t be out long. But the Pit is better than vegging out in my apartment.”
“So, what’s happening with the husky?”
“Nothing for now. I’m considering buying a house in another year. I’ll get a dog then.”
They were talking about inconsequential things, but he just wanted to hear her voice.
They talked a few more minutes and Senetra left for the bar. Rick was already there playing poker in one of the rooms. Senetra had considered driving since more than likely she’d leave earlier and Kathryn would leave with Rick, but she could always take a cab.
They sat at the table with Iris and some of the other ladies.
“She let Danya move back in,” someone informed them.
Senetra cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Ah, the big ox is plenty warm on cold nights,” Iris said in her own defense.
“I bet he is,” Kathryn mumbled.
“But I bet he makes her hot in other ways, too,” someone teased, and Iris blushed.
Senetra ordered a beer and later left to play a game of pool, but she was ready to leave around eleven.
“I’ll take you home,” Kathryn said.
“Don’t bother. I’ll take a cab. Stay and enjoy yourself.”
Back at her apartment, Senetra started her cozy fire. The last time they’d spoken, Alex had teased her about her love for fires. She got out his card, scraping it against the edge of her thumb. On it was an address. She could write him a letter and send a small gift, but what? If circumstances were normal, she could send a picture of the two of them, but she couldn’t give him a picture of her. She could give him a picture she took on her birthday weekend. There were plenty of him alone and with Rick and Kathryn.
Senetra pulled out her digital camera and a note card. She wrote a short letter and printed off a picture of him standing beside the huge king salmon they’d caught. His father would love that. Probably brag about it with his friends.
In high school she would have spritzed on some perfume, but not now. Sealing the envelope, she placed a stamp and return address on it.
She wrote her mother a much longer letter, even told her about Alex, although she omitted his name. She made sure to add that his personality was completely the opposite of Timothy’s and why. And the reason he’d changed jobs. It would show character and that would please her mother. She wanted her mother to know she was moving on with her life. Maybe Dorothelia wouldn’t worry so much then.
She wished she could tell her mother that she was healing, that she actually went out with a man without fear—or too much anyway. She was making progress.
In the middle of her letter her doorbell rang. It must be Kathryn wanting to talk, Senetra thought as she pushed herself out of the chair and padded to the door.
Through the peephole she saw—Alex. It couldn’t be. She opened the door. Kathryn and Rick stood behind Alex.
“My gosh. What are you do—” Her words were smothered by his kiss.
“How did you manage to get away?”
“I’ve got one day. I have to leave tomorrow afternoon,” he said as everyone piled in.
Senetra frowned. Why were Rick and Kathryn there?
“He came to the bar thinking you were there,” Rick said, coming into the room and closing the door behind him.
“I see.”
“We were arguing,” Kathryn said, frustration evident in her speech. “About the same issue you and I discussed earlier.”
“Spring break,” Senetra mumbled, not quite grasping why they were bringing it up now. Why didn’t they go back to Kathryn’s apartment and argue?
“Come in and have a seat,” Senetra said.
“It’s so good to see you,” Alex said, kissing her lightly on the lips before he shrugged out of his coat. Senetra relaxed somewhat.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Senetra asked, wanting to ease the tension between Kathryn and Rick.
“Maybe some bourbon,” Rick muttered. “Kathryn’s going to keep me up all night arguing anyway.”
“Sorry. Don’t have any. But I can fix hot chocolate or coffee, or tea.”
“Hot chocolate sounds good,” Alex said, making the decision. He wanted to be alone with Senetra and he was going to get rid of those two. “So what did you want to discuss?” The others finally shed their coats.
When he passed the side table, he noticed a letter addressed to him. The envelope was off-white. Alex smiled. She actually wrote to him.
Everyone piled into the kitchen while Senetra prepared the hot chocolate.
“We were hoping you two would plan a spring vacation with us,” Rick said. “Then Alex and I could do some exploring while you women did your thing.”
“I won’t be here,” Alex said. “I’ve been summoned home. Of course you could always join me there. Plenty of room.”
“That’s an idea. Wisconsin—”
“Is not the beach,” Kathryn said. “If you said Florida or the Bahamas, I’d go with you. I’m serious, Rick. We always do what you want. I want a say for a change.”
“There are resorts in Wisconsin with indoor swimming pools,” Alex said.
Senetra set cups of hot chocolate before them.
Kathryn wouldn’t be budged. “I’m so angry with you, Rick.”
Rick looked confused. “What did I do? I want to spend the time with you.”
“You want to explore.” She sighed. “But if Senetra agrees to go, then I’ll go, too.”
“I’m sorry. I’m spending the break here. I’m so far behind in work.”
“You’re the most organized teacher I know. You can take a week,” Kathryn said.
“I can’t go. It’s the three of you. Alex will spend time with his family and you two can…explore or do whatever.”
Kathryn started doing the hula around the room, swinging her hips, her hands in the air as she danced Hawaiian style. “Lei, anyone?” she asked.
Rick moaned. “I’m losing this fight, guys. You’re no help at all.”
“Sorry, buddy.” Alex tried to get Rick’s attention. He had all week with Kathryn. Alex didn’t want to spend his one day off entertaining them.
“Drink up,” Alex coaxed.
“Let’s go, Rick,” Kathryn said, setting her cup down.
“I haven’t finished my chocolate.”
“Just take the cup with you,” she said, coaxing Rick up and out of the room. The door shut.
“I thought they’d never leave,” Alex said, embracing Senetra.
“Alex, I miss you so much.”
“I know you did, Regina. And I truly believe in our relationship. The main requirements in a long-distance relationship are trust and open communication. I trust you to tell me if there’s a problem with us because I certainly want to keep you happy,” he said, pulling her to him. “Can I say a proper hello?
”
“Hello,” she whispered, smiling. He wasn’t Timothy. She had to keep reminding herself. This was Alex, a totally different man.
Senetra was deeply touched and when they kissed, more of her heart opened to him. She couldn’t believe he was here, that he’d spent the money he could put into his savings for a plane ride to visit her on his one day off.
She tightened her arms around him, holding him close.
The kiss was urgent and exploratory.
“I’m glad I came,” he said.
“Yeah, me, too.”
“I’d love to take you home spring break to meet my family,” Alex said.
She glanced down. “I can’t go. For the reason I gave before.”
Alex wondered how long it would take her to trust him or if she ever would. But from the kiss he could feel a change and that was good. And she hadn’t said no yet to the summer trip. It would be in Alaska where she felt safe.
He linked an arm around her waist and they walked to the sofa together. “So, what were you doing before I arrived?”
“Believe it or not, writing letters.”
“Oh?”
“One to you and one for my mother.”
His eyebrows quirked. “I noticed my name on one of them.”
“You want to open it now?”
They sat on the couch and she reached across him to retrieve it and handed it to him.
He slid his finger beneath the flap, opened the card and read it.
“I thought your father might want the picture,” Senetra said when he didn’t speak. “Or I could have another one made for him.”
“He’ll love it,” he said softly, “but I’d rather have one of you.”
Senetra glanced away. “I take pictures. I’m not in them.”
“Well,” he said, sliding his hands up her arms. “Let’s enjoy tonight.”
Was he letting it go that easily? She tensed, waiting for the demand for an explanation. But when he said nothing more, she let her pent-up breath go and relaxed against him. “I’m all for that.”
Later on, the fire was dying out in the bedroom, and Alex went to the balcony to get more wood. It was cold outside, and after coaxing the fire back to life, he climbed under the covers and pulled Senetra close to him.
Safe in His Embrace Page 10
