I pull my eyes off the screen, my face burning with embarrassment, and take in the pained look on his handsome face. He got in trouble for this. Holy shit. He steps away from me and runs an angry hand through his hair before tossing his phone on the bed. “They’re shopping me.”
“What?!”
“The Vipers are trading me. They think I’m not taking my career seriously like I promised I would, and that you’re some new Nessa-type distraction. They’re telling teams I’m available. They told my agent to tell me they’ve had enough.” He looks as broken as I felt when my grandmother up and left us. He looks as broken as he did when I had to tell him his mom was drunk in the restroom at his junior game. And it’s all because of me. I knew he was trying not to get involved with anyone, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to see me as a woman—and to want me. And now it’s cost him everything.
I scramble for a way to fix this as we stare at each other and then it hits me. Callie. I need to channel Callie. I need to turn off the emotion. In the end, at least I got to sleep with him, right? And yeah, I wanted more—so much more—but at least I had that perfect, beautiful moment.
“What you heard on the phone was me telling my agent that—”
“I’m just an old friend,” I interject firmly. “Because I am just an old friend.”
“What?”
I squeeze his hand lightly before letting go and taking a step back. “Look, we both know I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve always wondered about sex with you.”
He smiles at that but it fades quickly and is replaced with concern. I don’t give him a chance to speak. If I don’t get this out, I’ll start blubbering like a sad, broken little girl.
“And it was… well… amazing. But just because we got curious doesn’t mean we have to ruin our friendship—or your career.” I try to feel as mature as my words seem to be. After all, I’m letting him off the hook. That’s mature, right? “I mean, that would be crazy.”
“It would be crazy?” he repeats awkwardly and it sounds like he’s questioning that, not agreeing with it, but I’m sure it’s just because he’s shocked to hear this from someone he thinks would be acting like a lovesick puppy.
“Let’s just file this away as a fun adventure and move on.” The words I’m saying make me want to puke, but I swallow them down and plaster a smile on my face. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me. I can’t even read his expression. I’m sure he’s fighting hard not to show me how relieved he is.
Finally, he nods. “If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what you need.” I lean up and give him a peck on his cheek. It makes my chest ache so hard I can barely take a breath. “I’ve got to go meet Callie at the beach.”
He nods as I turn and head for the door.
“Fleur…”
I can’t look back at him because he’ll see the tears in my eyes and feel bad so, facing the hallway in front of me, I say, “Sorry about the picture, Luc. I hope it all works out.”
I walk as fast as I can without running and take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. Once out of the hotel, I don’t head for the beach. I just move along the boardwalk with the crowd, by the shops and the restaurants, and keep moving. Tears streak out from under my sunglasses and I keep my head low so no one sees them.
Worst birthday ever.
Chapter 22
Luc
What the hell just happened?
When I woke up this morning and saw her face, I felt like the freaking Grinch at the end of that movie. It felt like my heart was growing—swelling. I realized last night was not just awesome physically; it was awesome emotionally.
Being around Rose used to make me feel grounded and happy, until this summer, when she started to throw me off balance. I assumed if I gave in to my growing lust for her it would not only screw up my goals for the summer but also throw our friendship into an even bigger tailspin, but it didn’t. When I woke up this morning, I felt more inner peace than I have in a long time. Then Paul started screaming.
The picture is exactly why I was supposed to be staying away from women. The shot epitomizes the unfocused, uncaring party boy the media is always trying to make me look like, which is ironic because what was actually happening between Rose and me on that dance floor was anything but trivial. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but sometimes those words are slanderous, made-up lies. The Vipers’ management didn’t see it that way. They’d called Paul this morning and told him they’d given me enough time to refocus my goals, and if I was partying in Atlantic City I clearly wasn’t refocusing on hockey. They were going to try to trade me.
I walk over to the bed and throw myself down on it. My cell buzzes in my pocket but I ignore it. This isn’t at all what I thought would happen. Last night… it was surreal. Yeah, we were half asleep at first but I knew exactly why I was doing it—because I was crazy about her.
And despite the shit storm that Paul was raining down on me, the words I was shouting to placate him and the painful realization that my team no longer wanted me because of this, all I wanted to do was find Rose, pull her back into bed and make love to her again.
I squeeze my eyes shut now and laugh bitterly at myself.
Did I really just fucking think that? Did I really just use the term “make love”? Great. I am already whipped. This is what the Caplan sisters do to men, apparently. I had watched Jordan turn into a seeping mess of emotions and now I am turning into that too. Fucking fabulous. But Rose heard my words and decided that we should just be friends. She wanted to chalk the whole damn thing up to curiosity.
My hotel room phone rings and I reluctantly decide to answer it. “Hello?”
“Luc? I’m starving! Come grab some food with me.”
“Sorry, Dev. I’m not hungry.”
“Is everything okay?” Devin’s voice is filled with concern.
“Sure. Hung over,” I lie, and it’s the worst lie ever because he knows I wasn’t drunk last night.
“Luc…” He pauses. “Where is Rose?”
“At the beach or something. I don’t know. It’s not my business.”
“I’m coming to your room.”
“Don’t. Just go have breakfast with your wife.”
“My wife is still in bed. She doesn’t feel like breakfast,” Devin replies a little abruptly. “I’m coming to you. Order some room service.”
I sigh, hang up the phone and then grab the room service menu. Picking the phone back up, I order scrambled eggs, French toast, fruit, coffee and orange juice. Devin bangs on the door a few minutes later. I walk over and let him in. He stares at me searchingly.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Luc.”
I sigh, walk over and flop backward onto the bed. I take a moment to inhale, turning my face toward the pillow. It still smells like her. It makes my chest tight.
“I slept with Rose,” I mumble into the pillow.
The room is completely silent. I turn and look up at Devin, wondering if he heard me. He is unblinking, his face devoid of shock or surprise.
“I said I slept with Rose.”
“I heard you.”
“And you’re not freaking out?”
Devin smiles and drops down into the chair across from the foot of the bed. “I’m not freaking out because we all knew it would happen. Just didn’t know exactly when. For a while there I thought it would be any minute. Then it looked like it might not happen until you guys were eighty.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “There’s another bet about this, isn’t there?”
“Hell yeah.” Devin laughs a little and nods. “But whatever. The real question is why do you look devastated?”
“Have you looked at TMZ Sports?”
“I don’t read that bullshit,” Devin says matter-of-factly, but then he sighs and pulls out his phone and a second later he swears. “Holy fuck. Is that where you had sex? On the dance floor? Because it looks like
it in this photo.”
“The sex part didn’t happen for another twenty-four hours after that picture was taken,” I explain, propping myself up on my elbows so I can look at him.
“You’ve got willpower.” Devin smiles at me.
“Anyway, Vipers’ management saw it and they’re officially looking to trade me. My agent called to tell me this morning.” I sigh.
Devin drops his phone into his lap and stares at me. I watch a range of emotions slip across his unshaven face. Shock, sympathy and even a little fear on my behalf. Being traded is not a fun thing. It’s filled with uncertainty. “Their loss.”
“Whatever.”
“So you spent half the summer avoiding Rose and every other woman on the planet and one photo screws up everything,” Devin summarizes and his dark blond eyebrows pinch together. “Well, at least now you can just be with Rosie.”
“She said she was curious about sex with me and she doesn’t regret it, but it would be crazy to ruin our friendship and my career.” I repeat her thoughts and they hurt just as much the second time as the first. “And she’s right. I know she is, which is why I wanted to avoid this situation to begin with.”
Devin blinks. Now he’s stunned. “But they’re trading you. Fuck it.”
“Are you kidding me? The pressure is even worse now!” I reply, frustrated. “If I look like a partying, bed-hopping media whore, what team is going to want to pick me up, especially with my stats being so… average and my contract so big?”
Room service knocks on the door. I roll off the bed, go over, sign for the food and let the guy wheel it inside. I give him a rumpled twenty-dollar bill from my nightstand and close the door behind him. Devin’s already digging into the scrambled eggs.
“So if you agree that you and Rose can’t be together, then why are you such a sad panda?” Devin asks.
“Because I want to keep having sex with her.”
Devin smirks. “Because the sex was that good or because you love her?”
I make a face and take the metal cover off the French toast. He stirs his coffee and takes a sip. I pour maple syrup on the French toast even though I don’t have much of an appetite.
“Don’t be a bitch, Luc. Answer the question.”
“I have feelings for her,” I admit gruffly and shovel French toast into my mouth. “And the sex was un-fucking-believable.”
Devin smiles at the admission. It’s the Garrison lopsided smirk that he shares with his brothers, but this one isn’t as cocky as it usually is. He looks almost sad. “I miss sex.”
“What?” I freeze with my coffee cup an inch from my face.
“Ash and I aren’t on the same page right now,” he confesses out of nowhere. “I want another kid. She doesn’t.”
“What?! She doesn’t want kids now?” I’m shocked, to say the least. Devin has always wanted a billion kids. Personally, I don’t want any kids right now but I know when I do have them, I’ll want at least three or four. I’m technically an only child, but I was lucky enough to be treated like a brother by the Garrisons. And I had a front-row seat to the bond siblings have. I want that for my kids. That’s why I understand why Devin wants it for Conner.
“I think she’ll want more one day, just not now,” Devin says hopefully. “Speaking of kids, please say you used protection.”
I almost choke on my French toast and my face goes bright red.
Devin’s eyes go wide. “You didn’t wear a condom?”
“Rose is on the pill,” I respond quickly. “I’ve seen it on her dresser at home.”
“You’re sure?” he questions and I nod, but in reality I am not a hundred percent sure and I get a little nervous.
“Almost sure. I mean it just kind of happened in the middle of the night. We were barely awake.” I’m rambling like a fool. “I don’t want to talk about this; it’s making me feel worse.”
Devin gives me an apologetic smile and reaches over and takes a piece of my French toast. “I’m not here to condone everything you do. I’m here to be the voice of reason.”
He stuffs a big piece of the toast in his mouth and syrup drips down his chin. He wipes it away, swallows and continues lecturing me. “I fully understand the overwhelming attraction you have for Rose. I had the same type of feelings for Callie once, believe it or not.”
“Yeah, I heard.” I squish up my face like the thought makes me sick. “You two knocked boots before Ash.”
“Jordan has such a big mouth.” Devin laughs. “We didn’t technically… I mean, sort of. It’s a long story and it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, the point is I get wanting someone so bad it makes you crazy, but Luc, barely awake sex isn’t the best start to a relationship.”
I stare at my hands in my lap. “I know. I fucked up. But it doesn’t matter. We’re going back to being just friends.”
Devin finishes his cup of coffee and sighs, leaning back in his chair. He stares at me for a long time. “So you’re taking a bad decision and making it worse. Bold choice.”
I think about that. Staying away from Rose seems like the hardest thing I could possibly do but it also seems like the smart choice, career-wise. It really does.
“It’s up to you, Luc, but the fact is, Rose isn’t Nessa,” Devin tells me firmly. “Denying the right girl because people can’t let go of your mistakes with the wrong girl seems pretty stupid to me.”
I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes. I hear Devin stand and then feel his hand land firmly on my shoulder. “I’m going to go to the beach and enjoy our last day. Want to join?”
I shake my head and watch him walk toward the door. Before he leaves I call out, “Dev, can you not tell anyone about this? Even though you have that stupid bet and everything.”
Devin shrugs. “I didn’t win so I have no problem keeping it to myself. Jordan doesn’t need my money.”
He leaves my room. I drop back down on the bed and sigh before turning my head into the pillow again. How the fuck am I going to let her go?
Chapter 23
Rose
Four hours later, we’re all at the airport and I can’t wait to just get back to Silver Bay, crawl into bed and forget this weekend ever happened. This is the most exhausting and horrible birthday I’ve ever had. It blows my mind how when it started early this morning, all wrapped up in naked Luc, I was convinced it would be the best day of my life. I hate the universe right now. What a sick joke.
I had finally gotten myself together and joined my sisters on the beach with Jordan. They were giddy and couldn’t stop saying happy birthday and shoving gifts at me. Callie got me a beautiful vintage hair clip and Jordan and Jessie got me a beautiful leather-bound copy of poetry by my favorite poet, Robert Frost. Later we met up with Ashleigh, Leah and Cole for lunch and they gave me a gift card to my favorite clothing store and Ashleigh gave me a brand-new Coach wallet from her and Devin.
Luc showed up right as the waitress was bringing me a giant piece of chocolate cake with a candle in it. Everyone started singing “Happy Birthday.” It was ridiculously sweet and kind but it was near impossible to keep a smile on my face.
“Make a wish!” Jessie insisted as I leaned in to blow out the candle. My eyes automatically found Luc.
I wish I get over him—fast.
I blew out the candle and shared the giant slab of decadent cake with everyone. Luc stayed back a bit, hovering on the edge of the group, and I didn’t know whether that made me feel better or worse. Somehow I felt like it did both.
The flight back to Maine is quick and painless because Callie and I sit beside each other and Luc sits at the back by himself.
I’m so close to escape now, to my dream of getting away from him and forgetting this weekend ever happened, but as we hover around the baggage carousel waiting for our luggage, Luc corners me.
“Hey… I have to ask you something,” he says quietly as he blocks the rest of our group from our conversation with his hulking frame. I stare up at him and immediately think of him on
top of me, naked with his dick inside me. I flush.
“Shoot,” I say casually. I really do wish someone would shoot—shoot me with a gun and put me out of my misery.
“I umm… I don’t know how much about last night you remember.” He clears his throat awkwardly and glances over his shoulder. Thankfully, no one is paying attention.
“I remember we had sex,” I counter, keeping my voice low, flat and unaffected. “What else is there?”
“Well… it was unprotected sex…” he adds quietly.
I stare at him. He looks so uncomfortable, just the look every girl wants to see after they give their heart and body to the man of their dreams. I blink.
“I didn’t use a condom,” he clarifies, like maybe I don’t understand. “I should have been more careful. We should have. I don’t want… I mean I’m sure you don’t want…”
“I’m on the pill,” I spit out. “Don’t worry, I won’t make this worse by having your baby.”
I turn and storm over to the other end of the baggage carousel and turn my back to him. I want to cry but I won’t. I definitely don’t need anyone else to know what happened. It would just give them all more reason to think of me as the pathetic little girl with the silly crush. The bags start appearing on the circular machine and, luckily, mine is one of the first off. I grab it and storm toward the exit.
“Rose!” Callie calls out, trying to stop me. She’s not an idiot; she knows something is wrong.
“I have to work soon. I’m just going to take a cab home!” I yell back without turning around or stopping.
I’m not surprised when, as I climb into the back of the first cab I can find, Callie grabs my wrist. Gone is the typical smirk and bright, curious brown eyes. She looks somber and her eyes are clouded with worry.
“What is going on with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just…” I sigh. “I’ll explain later. I promise, okay? I just need to get out of here.”
“Okay…” She relents even though I know she doesn’t want to. “I love you.”
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