by Jim Wygand
“Well, Charlie, just get your butt down to softball practice and install your security system to protect you from female stalkers.” Gina giggled.
Charlie kissed Gina and said, “I’ll be back later, sweets.” He went to the parking garage and started his trek back to Shoreville.
When Charlie arrived to his house he thought he saw a familiar car parked down the street. Someone was sitting in the driver’s seat but it was too far away for him to tell if it was a man or a woman. He cursed under his breath, pressed the garage control and pulled in. It was still early to go to the park for softball practice so he set about putting the timers in place. He put one in the living room set to turn on at the time he usually arrived home. He put another in the kitchen to suggest that he was preparing dinner. He even put one on the TV to turn it on and off when he normally watched the news broadcasts. He knew that you could tell if someone’s TV was on by the way the light coming from the screen increased and decreased with changes in the images. Anybody driving by his house would see that the TV was on and would think he was watching it. Finally, he put one in the bedroom to turn on when he usually went to bed and to turn off a little later, allowing for his normal reading time. “Now let’s see if you are going to quit checking out my house if you see the damned lights going on and off the way they normally do. Maybe you’ll quit taking the long way home from the supermarket, bitch!”
He put on his practice togs, grabbed his glove and drove to the softball practice field where some of the guys were already beginning to assemble. They were tossing a ball around and waiting for the rest of the team to show up. “Hey, Charlie, over here,” Tony Mazza called out, “Catch!” He tossed the ball to Charlie who had to catch it with his bare hand because he was still carrying his glove.
“Pretty good, Charlie! You got reflexes! How ya’ doin’?”
“Just fine Tony. How ‘bout you?” he didn’t wait for an answer before asking Tony, “Whose car is that silver one over there, Tony?”
“What? That third one from the left? That’s Bob Simms’ car. Didn’t you recognize it? Bob’s over there tossing a ball around with Bill. Why do you ask?”
“Ah, nothing Tony, I just didn’t recognize it. I’ve been thinking about buying another car and maybe I’ll ask Bob how that one performs.”
“Whatever”, said Tony, “let’s play some ball. Hey, what’s that smell, Charlie. You give up on Aqua Velva?”
Charlie flushed, “Nah, Tony I just decided to change my brand. No big deal!”
“Well, you smell pretty good for softball practice! Hope it won’t affect your game.” Tony laughed.
Charlie walked over to Bob Simms. “Hey Bob, how ya doin’?”
“Hi Charlie, what’s up? You ready for some practice today?”
“As always, Bob. By the way, is that your car over there?” He pointed to the silver sedan that Tony had identified as Bob’s.
“Yeah, of course. You’ve seen it before. It’s mine all right. Wanna buy it?” Bob Simms laughed.
“Thanks Bob, but no. Actually that’s the car that tried to follow me on I-95 on Thursday. Do you know if Diane had been over to Wilmington this week?”
“Oh, shit!” thought Bob Simms “Diane has gone and done it again!”
“I don’t really know Charlie, she dropped me off at work and kept the car so she could have gone over to Wilmington. She said she had some errands to run. I came home from work with Bill and Diane had not returned soooo, shit, I guess it could have been her.”
“Look, Bob. I told you that I didn’t appreciate being followed. It’s inconvenient, it’s stupid, and it also happens to be against the law. Diane, and Sharon, too, have been stalking me. The last thing I want to do is to have your wife arrested for stalking me. I mean it, Bob. It’s damned unpleasant. I’ve known you and Diane for years and I don’t want to cause you problems but this crap has got to stop!”
“Yeah, I know Charlie. Damn! I don’t know what to say. I told her to lay off. I told her you might even have me fired…”
“Oh, come on, Bob! You know better than that! I’m not that kind of a guy and you know damned well I’m not! That’s ridiculous. But I want the stalking to stop, OK? I don’t care what you have to do, but make it stop. I’m going to talk to Bill about Sharon’s behavior too.”
“What did Sharon do?” Simms asked.
“I’ll talk to Bill about it, but I want both of you to rein in your wives. OK?”
“Jeez, Charlie, I’m really sorry about this. God almighty, I never thought…”
“OK, Bob. I’ve said my piece. Let’s just drop it now. Just handle it, will you?”
“You bet, Charlie.”
Charlie walked over to where Bill Gallagher was standing. “Hey Bill, got a minute?”
“Sure Charlie. How ya’ doin’?”
“Fine Bill, I just want to make sure you have Sharon, ah, under control with regard to stalking me. I remembered your comment about her saying she thought I might be ill because my lights were off. You know that she does not have to drive by my house on the way home from the Acme supermarket.”
“Stalking sounds a bit strong Charlie. Maybe she was just driving around.”
“Bill, I hate to make an issue of this, but it is stalking. If she were just driving around she would not have bothered to mention my house in particular. Anyway, this is the second time I am asking you. Rein her in, Bill, I mean it. If she follows me again I will have her picked up by the police and I will file a complaint. I don’t want to do that, but I will if I have to. I hate to have to say things like this, but it’s getting out of hand. There is nothing, nothing about my life that warrants following me around or wondering why my lights were not on. It’s crazy Bill and it if continues it is illegal. Please tell her to stop.”
“Charlie, I already talked to her and I will do it again. But she had promised to lay off and I don’t think she was stalking when she drove by your house, but I’ll talk to her anyway.”
“I appreciate it, Bill. And I’m sorry to have to bring it up. It’s just plain silly but it is inconvenient.”
Bill Gallagher was angry, not just at Sharon but also a bit piqued at Charlie. He thought Charlie was making too much of the whole issue. Sharon had always been the biggest busybody in Shoreville and everybody knew it. She commented on everything and everybody and the whole town just ignored it when it turned inconvenient. He wondered why Charlie just could not do the same.
The team went through their usual drills, did the requisite infield “chatter” as they fired the ball around, and then ended practice to go off for some beers and the usual male bonding. Charlie did not bother to go. When they got to the bar Tony Mazza asked, “Hey, where’s Charlie?”
Bob Simms was the first to pipe up, “He was a bit uptight today and I think he went home to relax.”
“Charlie Mullins uptight? That’s a new one!” said Art Samuels, “maybe he’s not getting’ enough you know what!”
“Aw, drop it Art”, Tony Mazza said, “let’s just have some beer. I’ll talk to Charlie later.”
Charlie went back to his house, checked the timers one more time, and then showered and drove back to Philly. He was not in the mood to hang around Shoreville and he was still steaming from his conversations with Bob Simms and Bill Gallagher. He didn’t like Bill’s defensive posture and thought to himself that if he did catch Sharon following him again, he would tell the police and if possible have her picked up on the spot. At least Bob had been apologetic and promised to check into it. Bill seemed not to believe him.
When Bob Simms got home Diane was getting lunch ready for the kids. “Diane,” he began calmly, “Charlie Mullins told me you followed him in our car last Thursday. Is he right?”
“Oh for God’s sake, Bob! We already talked about this. Has it occurred to you that Charlie might be imagining things? Maybe the guy is delusional or paranoid. I don’t know. But what did you say? Did you say it was me? He accuses your wife of following him, what did you
say, Bob? I hope you told him he was full of shit! I really hope you did that.”
“Look, Diane, he said that if it happens again he will have whoever is following him arrested for stalking…”
“Stalking?! He accused me of stalking, Bob? Come on! I mean it. Why in the hell would I be stalking anybody? I hope you gave him an earful!”
“Diane, if it was you following Charlie and he files a complaint you are going to look damned silly in Shoreville. It will be damned embarrassing and could even be expensive if you get fined. If it was you, Diane, I want it stopped.”
“Oh, go to hell, Bob. I’m not going to bow to threats even from Charlie Mullins. I’m not stalking him and you should know it. Why were you such a wimp, Bob? Why didn’t you just tell him to go screw himself? Huh?”
“Because I know how you are when you get a bee in your bonnet, Diane. Now, if you were following Charlie, I want it stopped.”
“Oh, you’re tough at home? Get tough with Charlie, Bob! You tell Charlie Mullins that he is getting delusional. Maybe he just wishes someone was stalking him!”
“Diane, if you wind up having to answer to a complaint, you are on your own. I mean it!”
Diane just grunted, “Hmmpf!” and went back to fixing lunch for the kids.
Bob stomped off to the shower, fuming but feeling helpless.
Bill Gallagher was talking to Sharon, “Charlie Mullins said today that you and Diane Simms were stalking him, Sharon. I didn’t like the way he put it especially when he threatened to file a suit. Is there anything to what he said?”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Bill, I’m getting a little tired of Charlie’s paranoia…”
“Is it really paranoia, Sharon, or are you and Diane up to your old tricks?”
“What is this, Bill? I gave you my word when we talked about it before…”
“Well, he mentioned your driving by his house on the way home from the Acme. It is out of the way…”
“Bill! Drop it! I have to drive where Charlie Mullins thinks I should drive? I can’t go out of my way if I want to? Get serious, Bill, Charlie is talking nonsense. He’s got a bug up his ass and it’s not my problem. Nobody is, as he said, ‘stalking’ him. That’s ridiculous!”
“Well, I told him that I thought he was a bit over the top…”
“Over the top?! He was way out of line, Bill, and if he files any kind of complaint I’ll sue his ass. He’s taking his accusations too far. Just tell him that next time you see him. I’m not going to change my behavior because of threats from Charlie Mullins. Tell him that!”
“Yeah, OK Sharon, I told him he was exaggerating. Let’s just drop it.”
“I’ll drop it, but you just tell Charlie Mullins to get a wife and get a life. I don’t care who he is at Shaw, he’s not going to threaten me and that’s that!”
“OK, Sharon, don’t worry about it.”
* * * * *
Charlie pulled into the parking slot at Gina’s place and let himself in the apartment with his key. Gina was busy cleaning the apartment. She had her hair up in a kerchief and was wearing jeans and a cut off sweat shirt. “Ah ha! The busy housewife”, said Charlie, “and moved to kiss her.”
“Hello Mr. Mullins, nice of you to drop by. Why don’t you sit down and relax while I get this place in order?”
“Gina, I didn’t notice any disorder when I came in. The place is spotless.”
“No matter, Charlie, I’m gonna clean it anyway. Got a problem with that?”
“Nope, not at all, want some help?”
“No way, aren’t you tired from softball practice?”
“No, but I did have a stressful conversation with the husbands of the two wives who have been harassing me. I told them that I would have their wives arrested for stalking if the nonsense didn’t stop.”
“Ooooo, that sounds pretty tough, Charlie. What did they say?”
“Well, Bill Gallagher was defensive and said that he thought my use of the word stalking was a bit exaggerated. Bob Simms was apologetic and said he would look into it. But I didn’t like Bill’s reaction. I don’t think either of them have much influence over their wives in this matter.”
“I’m sure they don’t Charlie. Did you put the timers in place?”
“Yeah, I did. I just hope it works.”
“Well, it might, but what if one of them rings your doorbell to ask for a cup of sugar?” Gina laughed.
“C’mon, Gina, you know that’s not gonna happen.”
“Well, maybe not the sugar part, but I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they got a little bolder, Charlie.”
“Hell, I even hooked up the TV and put it on the news channel so they would hear some noise and see the TV’s reflection on the curtains.”
“Yeah, and you no longer go shopping in the supermarket. You no longer drive around town. You don’t go to your regular haunts on weekday nights. You don’t think they will notice? Believe me, Charlie, they are not going to quit so soon or so easily. They’re nosy. They love talking about others and you are someone worth talking about in Shoreville my dear. I know you are no Boy Scout, but ‘Be Prepared’.”
“I guess you’re right, Gina. I’ll watch out. Now let’s see the dust fly. Get back to your cleaning. I’ll fix some tuna salad sandwiches. You willing to risk it?”
“A man who can fix his own lunch! Imagine! I’ve hit the jackpot! Sure Charlie, I’d love a sandwich. Go to it!”
Charlie retired to the kitchen to fix up some tuna salad while Gina busied herself cleaning the apartment. He never felt so good and so happy.
They went out later to walk around a shopping mall. Gina bought him a dark baseball cap and a pair of large, very dark sunglasses. “These are for tomorrow, Charlie. I know it might seem silly, but I want you to be unidentifiable when we go to Uncle Carlo’s place. With the tinted glass on the car you will be hard to see anyway, and with these on, they will most certainly not be able to identify you.”
“Are you sure about this Gina? I mean it’s a bit melodramatic, no?
“It might seem that way, Charlie, but believe me and trust me on this. You know the old adage, ‘an ounce of prevention….’.”
“OK, Gina, I’ll do it. Maybe you’re right.”
“I am, Charlie, I am.”
They walked around the mall holding hands and Charlie watched carefully for anyone he might recognize from Shoreville. He saw no one and no one from Shoreville saw him. Everyone was at home cleaning up, fixing dinner, or playing with the kids. They had Little League to keep them busy.
Charlie and Gina went back to the apartment and that night stopped by the trattoria for a drink. Johnny was there and greeted them both. Charlie now had a life and hoped soon to have a wife.
XIX
Sunday morning Charlie and Gina slept in until close to ten-o-clock. Charlie was a bit more apprehensive than he thought he would be. He was about to meet the most powerful Italian in Philadelphia. Carlo Rizzo was considered by a lot of people to be a dangerous man. Charlie was more worried about what would happen if Gina’s uncle did not like him and did not give his approval to their relationship.
Gina fixed some breakfast while Charlie showered and shaved. She laid out some fresh strawberries, croissants and some ham and cheese and made fresh coffee. When she finished, she went into the shower while Charlie was still shaving. Charlie looked at her body in the mirror and wished he had time to make love to her again. She stepped into the shower and bathed while humming to herself. She was calm while Charlie was nervous. “Got the jitters Charlie? She asked from the shower.
“Does it show, Gina? Yeah, I am a bit apprehensive. I mean I’m about to ask your emotional father if he will let me get engaged to you and marry you.”
“Oh, it’s not just his blessing for our relationship, Charlie? And you haven’t even formally proposed to me!”
“Gina, I know this is not the best place to propose, but will you marry me?”
“Jeez, proposed to in the shower by a man who is
shaving. Well, it’s different. It’s more interesting than you getting down on one knee, I guess. Anyway, I’ll have to think about it. I mean marriage is serious stuff, Charlie”, Gina kidded.
“Gina! I’m a nervous wreck and you’re kidding around. Will you marry me?”
“You bet your Irish butt I will! Happy now?”
“OK, Gina. Yes, I’m happy now. Thanks.”
“Thanks? You propose to me, I accept and all you can say is ‘thanks’? Charlie, when did you get so romantic?” Gina stepped from the shower and pressed her wet body against him. Charlie thought he would explode. She kissed him and said, “Now you’ll have to dry off again. Serves you right for being so romantic!” and laughed.
“You’re too much for me, woman. God, how I love you.”
“Same here, Mullins. You ready for some good Italian food? Uncle Carlo is sure to put on a spread for you.”
When it was 12:30 they took the elevator to the garage and walked to Gina’s Mercedes. Charlie had his baseball cap and the dark glasses in his blazer pocket. After they had driven for a few minutes, Gina said, “OK, Charlie put on the glasses and the cap. Pull it down low over your forehead and slump down a little in your seat.”
“Gina, are you sure…?”
“Trust me, Charlie, just do it, OK?”
Gina hit the automatic gate control button she kept in her purse as they drew close to Carlo Rizzo’s driveway as she always did. They could drive straight through without stopping. Charlie saw a guy in a grey business suit with a camera. He was taking pictures as fast as he could. “The guy is wearing a suit on Sunday. Jesus! How uptight can you get?” he thought.
Gina pulled into the driveway and drove around to the back entrance where they could not be seen exiting the car. “Keep it on until we get inside, Charlie. You can never tell if they have somebody hanging around back here. They probably can’t see anything but I don’t want to take any chances.”
“OK, Gina but I feel a bit silly entering the house like this.”
