by Jim Wygand
“C’mon Diane, you know I won’t get caught and I doubt that you will be able to resist coming along with me. This is just too hot to ignore and you know it.”
“OK, Sharon but let’s just be careful. I don’t want Bob down my neck again. He was really ticked off the last time.”
The next morning Charlie dressed for work and reminded Gina that he would stay in Shoreville on this evening, his regular bowling night. He would disconnect the timers while he was in Shoreville and then set them up when he left on Thursday morning. “I’ll miss you in this bed, Charlie,” Gina said. “It’s amazing how quickly I got used to your being here. It will be strange without you. Hurry back!”
“I’ll be back after work on Thursday, baby,” Charlie said, “I’ll miss you too, Gina. My house seems so empty nowadays. And I have to confess that I am no longer so excited about my work. Fred Perkins doesn’t annoy me anymore, he just bores me.” He kissed Gina and left for work.
* * * * *
After a busy day at Shaw, Charlie headed back to Shoreville. He pulled up to his garage, pressed the remote control and parked his car. He left the garage door open in case anyone drove by. They would see his car. He didn’t see any cars on the street except those that he knew belonged to neighbors. He also did not see Diane Simms hiding behind a tree. She had parked her car around the corner where Charlie would not see it and then waited to see if Charlie would be coming home that evening. She had also been by his house that morning after dropping the kids off at school and waited to see if Charlie left for work. He did not leave but he did come home. She couldn’t wait to tell Sharon what she had discovered.
Charlie entered the house and set about disconnecting the timers. When he left for the bowling alley the house would be dark and his whereabouts would be known. He got his bowling gear together, put it into the trunk of his car, and changed into his league uniform. He sat down to watch some TV until it was time to leave.
Bill Gallagher and Bob Simms were talking together at the bowling alley but Charlie thought nothing of it. They were often together so seeing them talking was no big deal. Bill had told Bob about seeing Charlie at Bookbinder’s and they both agreed that it would not be smart to even hint at the sighting to Charlie. Bill said he saw Charlie just by accident, but he did not want Charlie thinking he had been spying – not after the last conversation Charlie had with him.
While their men were at the bowling alley, Sharon Gallagher and Diane Simms were busy on the telephone. Diane called to tell Sharon that she had watched to see if Charlie left for work on Wednesday morning and said that she did not see him leave. “But”, she said “I did see him arrive tonight. Soooo, it seems to me that he did not sleep at home, right?”
“No other explanation, Diane. He was not home Tuesday night. I told you I saw him at Bookbinder’s.”
“Why do you suppose his lights were on Tuesday night then?” Diane asked.
“One of two reasons, Diane, he left them on by mistake or he is trying to show people he is at home when he is not. I’m willing to bet he is trying to fool us.”
“Why would he do that, Sharon?”
“Because there is something he does not want us to know, that’s why. And you know I hate a secret. He’s got some secret and he wants everybody to think that he is the same old Charlie. Diane, this could be a lot of fun. Shoreville’s most eligible bachelor has a girl friend that he is keeping a secret. Wow! There’s got to be some reason why he doesn’t bring her around here. He’s bowling tonight with the guys. Let’s see if he says anything. They’re his buddies and maybe he will say something about a girlfriend or something like that. Listen, I gotta go. I have to get the kids ready for school tomorrow. Are we on for later tonight?
“Yeah” said Diane, “I’ll pick you up at 9:30.”
“Bye.” Sharon rang off.
League night ended with the usual pizza and beer and Charlie stayed around with the guys. The conversation was the normal raucous jokes, teasing Mildred about going to bed with her, comparing bowling scores, and softball practice on Saturday. Some of the guys complained about their wives in the usual way. Art Samuels told a few dirty jokes, some of which he had told last week, too. He yelled to Tony Mazza, “Hey Tony, you know why there are no Italian Jehovah Witnesses?”
“No, Artie, tell me why there are no Italian Jehovah Witnesses.”
“Because there ain’t no such thing as an Italian witness!” Art broke out in laughter. The group groaned. “Jesus, Artie,” Tony cried back, “my grandfather told me that joke. Get a new routine, will ya?”
“Yeah, but when your grandfather told you, he wasn’t joking!” Art yelled back. This time the group laughed.
Tony did an imitation of Marlon Brando playing Don Corleone, “Ya wanna continue breathin’? I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.” They all laughed.
Nobody said anything to Charlie about having a girl friend or about not being seen around town, so he relaxed and figured his deception was working. The group broke up and went home and Charlie drove back to his house, pulled into the garage and after letting himself in the house, turned on the late news to watch some TV before going to bed. He was relaxed in the belief that no one was curious about his life now.
He slept well but he missed Gina’s warm body next to his and having his leg draped over her hip. Gina, too, was tossing around in her bed reaching for a Charlie that wasn’t there.
The next morning he set the timers and left for work. Before heading for the bridge he again checked the street for surveillance. He didn’t see the two women crouched behind a tree. Diane and Sharon were watching to see Charlie leave for work. They would come back in the evening to see if he returned. He wouldn’t.
Bob Simms had asked Bill Gallagher if he would drop him off at home. “Diane has the car tonight, some Tupperware party, or something.”
“Sure Bob, no problem.”
Bob Simms came home to only the kids in the house. They were already ready for bed and watching TV. “Hey guys, let’s get to bed, huh? You got school tomorrow. Your Mom will probably be home late.” The kids turned off the TV and kissed their father good night before heading upstairs to the bedroom.
He went to the refrigerator and got another beer to wait for Diane.
Bill Gallagher also came home to a house empty except for the children. Like Bob, he sent them off to bed with a kiss. He went into the kitchen to get a beer when he saw the note from Sharon. The note said there was meat loaf in the oven if he was hungry and that she had gone out with Diane to a Tupperware party. He walked into the den and turned on the TV to wait for Sharon.
Neither was aware that their wives were parked in a lot behind the high school hatching their plot to unmask Charlie Mullins. “Isn’t this exciting, Diane?” Sharon exclaimed, “I feel like a spy.”
“Yeah, well you won’t find it very exciting if Bill finds out and I sure as hell don’t want Bob to know. I’m satisfied with my marriage and I don’t want Bob to lose his job either.”
“Silly! You don’t think I like my marriage too? Don’t worry. Nobody’s going to find out. Now listen. We have to find out if Charlie is at home when his lights are on. I am willing to bet he won’t be. If he’s not, then he is deliberately trying to fool us. There would be no reason to do that unless there was some big reason. There is a secret somewhere in all this Diane. We have to find it.”
“Sharon, I don’t know”, Diane was hesitant “maybe Charlie has his reasons. I mean we did try to follow him twice. Maybe he just doesn’t want anybody prying.”
“Diane, wake up! If he didn’t want people to pry, he would bring his girlfriend to Shoreville for dinner or to meet his friends or something like that. He’s not ashamed of his friends. He’s not like that. Sooo, if he is not introducing his new girlfriend to his buddies, something must be up.”
“All right, Sharon, all right. I’ll go along but promise me, no nonsense, OK?”
“Of course, Diane, now listen. We have to see if
Charlie leaves for work tomorrow morning and then if he comes home at the end of the day. We know he went bowling and I’ll try to find out from Bill if Charlie went home after bowling tonight. You ask Bob too, and drive by Charlie’s house to see if the lights are on after you drop me off.”
They pulled out of the high school parking lot with their headlights off. When they pulled out onto the street Diane turned on the lights and drove Sharon home. “Don’t chicken out on me, Diane.” Sharon whispered as Diane exited the vehicle.
“No, I won’t but just don’t do something stupid, and keep me informed so we don’t tell different stories to our husbands, OK?”
“Right, Good night, Diane, see you in the morning.”
Sharon walked into her house. Bill was sitting in front of the TV, groggy from the beer and pizza and then a beer at home. “How was the Tupperware party, Sharon? How much did you spend?”
“I didn’t spend anything, Bill. It was all stuff that we already have. We just spent the night making girl talk.”
“OK, Sharon. I’m glad you’re home safe, now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna hit the sack. I’m bushed. Good night.”
“I’ll be up in a minute Bill. I’ll just check on the kids.”
Bill Gallagher padded off to the bedroom in a semi-stupor and Sharon saw to turning off the lights, locking the door, and looking in on the children. She would have an adventurous day tomorrow.
Diane Simms first rode by Charlie’s house and noticed that his lights were on as usual, and then she drove home. When she entered the house, Bob was laid back in his lazy-boy chair. Like Bill Gallagher, he was half asleep. “Hey Diane, how was the Tupperware party?”
“Just fine, Bob. I didn’t buy anything. But I put my news up to date with the ladies.”
“Anything special?”
“No, just the same old gossip and girl talk.”
“OK, well glad you’re home. We had a good night at the bowling alley.”
“Really? Everybody there? Oh yeah, Bill, Artie, Tony, Charlie, you know the whole crowd.”
“Did you score well?”
“Oh yeah!” Bob yawned and said, “I’m gonna turn in Diane. Gotta work tomorrow. G’night”
“Night Bob, I’ll be right up.”
“So, Charlie was there,” Diane thought, “that means he is probably home tonight. Tomorrow we’ll know when we see if he leaves the house. He apparently didn’t say anything about being followed or Bob would have come in fuming. Good!” She finished putting a few things in place, adding some dishes to the dishwasher and turning it on. She went off to bed. Bob was already snoring.
After they had dropped their children off at school, Sharon and Diane met around the corner from Charlie Mullins’ house. They stealthily made their way to behind a large tree where they could see Charlie’s garage. After a brief wait, the garage door opened and Charlie backed his car out of the garage. Sharon and Diane crouched down low and giggled as they saw Charlie scanning the street for any cars that might start to follow him. He pulled ahead slowly then accelerated up the street. When he was out of sight Sharon high-fived Diane. “OK, we saw him leave. Now tonight we come back to see if he returns home. Make sure you tell Bob you had to go out. I got it; let’s tell our husbands that we drove up to Richman’s for some ice cream. We just had an urge. We won’t be getting home that late anyway and the chances that somebody will be able to prove we are lying will be almost nil.”
“Now”, Sharon continued “make sure you have some dinner in the oven and you’ve got the kids stowed away doing their homework or something. Tell them you are going out with me for a snack so their story will match yours. I’ll pick you up in front of the Acme and we’ll come over here to see if Charlie comes home. I’ll tell Bill I need the car today and I’ll drop him off at the plant.”
“Sharon, are you sure….?”
“Of course I’m sure, Diane. Stay cool. Nothing is going to happen. Don’t you dare chicken out on me. We’re in this together, right? Now let’s go. I have to get Bill to work.”
Sharon spent the rest of the day singing to herself. Diane was more nervous. Both did as planned. They prepared dinner early. They left notes for their respective husbands saying they had gone to Richman’s on a whim to have some ice cream and would be back soon. They’d done this before so neither Bill nor Bob would be the wiser.
At six-o-clock Sharon picked up Diane at the Acme supermarket and they drove around to close to Charlie’s house. They sat in the car for a while and then moved to their hiding place behind the tree.
“What if somebody sees us, Sharon? I feel like a fool here.”
“Cool it, Diane! Nobody is going to see us. Everybody is busy right now fixing dinner. The kids are all inside waiting for their fathers to get home or doing their homework. Look around you. Do you see anybody on the street?”
“No”, said Diane.
“Then cool it!” Sharon said, “It will only be a few minutes. Charlie will either be here by 7-o-clock or he won’t be here. He’s usually regular as clockwork so don’t sweat it.”
At seven-o-clock there was no sign of Charlie, but the living room light in Charlie’s house turned on as if he had flipped the switch as usual. “Bingo!” said Sharon, “look at that. Charlie did not show up and his living room light went on.”
“Maybe we missed him?” volunteered Diane.
“Not a chance”, said Sharon, “we saw him leave this morning. If he was coming back home tonight, he would not be able to arrive before now coming from Wilmington. He either came home early, which he has never done, or he has not come home but wants someone to think that he has. This is getting good Diane! Real good! Charlie Mullins is hiding something and we are going to find out what it is.”
“Ahhh, I don’t know Sharon, I feel a little guilty about this.”
“Oh yeah, well do this. Tomorrow come by here in the morning and see if Charlie leaves. If he does, I’ll pay for a month’s manicures for you.”
“Now, I’m going home to tell Bill how delicious that raspberry sherbet at Richman’s is and how I just could not resist going up there for some. Let’s go.”
“OK, Sharon. I’m with you, but I’m scared and I don’t mind telling you.”
“You always were the one to pee her pants first, Diane. Take it easy. We’ll take our time and find out Charlie’s secret.”
They walked back to Sharon’s car and she dropped Diane off at home. “Sisters?”
“Yeah, Sharon, sisters. But tomorrow I’m going to check to see if Charlie leaves.”
“Do what you want Diane, he’s not there. Check if you want to but if you do, let me know.”
The following morning, Diane Simms took the kids to school and then went back to the parking spot she and Sharon had used the previous night. She waited for a few minutes and there was no sign of Charlie Mullins. The house was quiet. She had to get back to the house to get the car to Bob, so she couldn’t stay too long. But there was no sign at all of Charlie.
In fact, while Diane was watching Charlie’s house, Charlie was waking up in Gina’s apartment in Philly. They had made love and fallen asleep embraced as usual. Charlie was shaving while Gina fixed breakfast. “Well, Mr. Bond…”
“Mr. Smiley, please. I told you Bond was always being discovered. Smiley was the real spy.”
“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Smiley. Did you set your timers again?”
“Oh yeah! Timers set!”
“Check” laughed Gina.
“And you went bowling?”
“Bowling done.”
“Check” said Gina again.
Gina, as far as I could tell it was ‘business as usual’ last night. Artie Samuels told his stale off-color jokes, everybody propositioned Mildred, Tony was in a light mood, Bill and Bob kept a respectful distance but were not uptight. It was OK as far I could determine.”
“And the wives, Charlie?” Gina asked.
“If they had been up to something I couldn’t see it. Besides, Bill or Bob
will usually give away whatever is happening because their wives give them questions to ask. Nobody said anything last night.”
“Hmmmmmm”, murmured Gina, “that could be good news or bad news.”
They smiled at each other. “OK, Charlie, finish your breakfast and get off to work. Somebody has to have a job in this house”, Gina laughed.
Charlie finished his coffee and rose from the table to grab Gina and kiss her firmly. “I have never been this happy in my life. I just want you to know that. Did you ever hear that country music song, ‘Kiss an Angel Good Morning’?”
“No Charlie, I don’t think so, why?”
“Ah, because the line goes, ‘you got to kiss an angel good morning and love her like the devil when you get back home’. It’s a happy tune about a guy who explains the success of his marriage.”
“I like the message, but I didn’t know you were a country music fan.”
“It’s a well-kept secret. You know that country and western music sounds a lot like Irish folk music?”
“Interesting fact, Charlie, I’ll stick to my jazz if you don’t mind. I’m not even big on a tarantella.”
“I’ll use an earphone if I play it, Gina.”
“Right! Now off with you before Fred Perkins finds out you are a full-blooded heterosexual!”
Charlie kissed Gina and he took the elevator down to the parking garage. He picked up I-95 and drove down to Wilmington.
XXIII
Charlie’s Thursday and Friday at Shaw were taken up by meetings with the various operating department heads to discuss their draft budget reviews. Charlie worked with each of the department heads to tighten up their reviews and go over their numbers. He was satisfied that Fred Perkins would really have to scrutinize each budget to find any fault. He knew, of course, that Fred would find something. He almost had to. But, Charlie smiled to himself, he will really have to work for it.
Charlie and Gina were settling into the life of a married couple. However, it was far from a “normal” married couple’s life, having decided to keep their relationship a secret until Charlie could work out a plan for the various contingencies that the couple would face once he publicly announced that he and Gina Ferrelli, daughter-niece of Carlo Rizzo were going to be married. He could imagine the tabloid headlines “Mafia Princess to Wed Financial Executive of Shaw Corporation”. And there was still the pressure, yet to be felt in its entirety, from the busybody housewives of Shoreville, most especially Sharon Gallagher and Diane Simms. As hard as he tried, Charlie was unable to develop what he considered to be a workable strategy for building his life with Gina. He would lose his job at Shaw for certain. He would find it difficult to find another job with the same responsibilities unless it was with one of Carlo Rizzo’s businesses which was not in his plans. He mused to himself. “Maybe I could open a pizzeria! That’s about all they will let me do married to a ‘mafia princess’. At best I might open a restaurant.” Charlie didn’t think he could be a good restaurateur.
