by Lila Moore
“I believe you,” I said, though I wasn’t sure I did. I couldn’t remember ever giving her a key to my apartment either. Had she stolen it?
“When I snuck in, it was dark. I thought maybe you were still at work, then I heard a noise upstairs…”
She let her words linger dramatically.
“I thought it was you. I went upstairs to find Gigi naked in bed.”
She looked up at me with big blue eyes. They looked glassy. I couldn’t tell if it was the effect of tears or the pain meds she was on.
“What was she doing there, Luke? I know you would never sleep with my daughter. Did she try to seduce you? Did you know she was upstairs in your bed naked? What a stupid question. Of course you did.”
She covered her face with her free hand and made loud sobbing noises. I stiffened and glanced at the door. Sleeping with my exes’ daughter was not the smartest decision I’d ever made, but I’d thought Val was out of my life for good. That may not make it right, but I couldn’t help being drawn to Genevieve. We had a connection I couldn’t ignore.
“I deserve the pain. I deserve it all after what I did to you. Maybe Gigi was right to push me down the stairs. I’ve been a horrible mother. I’ve neglected her. If I’d spent less time with you and more time with her, maybe she wouldn’t have lashed out like this. It’s all one big cry for attention, don’t you think? She couldn’t stand the idea of sharing my love with a new baby. Poor Gigi. I’d forgotten all about my first baby. I’m going to fix things. This is all my fault.”
Despite my nagging suspicions, I found myself comforting Val.
“It’s not your fault. You’re not a bad mother.”
I remembered Val abandoning Genevieve after that fateful dinner a couple weeks ago. It was a shitty thing to do, but it didn’t make her a terrible mother, did it?
“I’m sure you were just overwhelmed,” I said. “Being a single mother isn’t easy.”
“No, it isn’t.”
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard.
“Luke, I want you to know something. If you decide to choose Genevieve over me, I completely understand. I’ll respect your choice and step aside. And, I’m going to find your ring and return it. I haven’t forgotten about it.”
“I have the ring.”
“What? How?”
“Genevieve brought it to me tonight.”
Val’s face fell. “She stole it. She knew she could use it to weasel her way into your life.”
What Val was saying made a kind of sense. Genevieve was young. Girls her age fall for men easily. They get swept away in a fantasy and they do what they can to make sure it becomes a reality. But that didn’t explain why Genevieve had refused to return my calls until I threatened her with the police.
The memory still made me cringe. It had been one of a series of foolish things I’d done. I’d accused her of lying and manipulating me when I’d done the very same thing to get her to agree to meet me. I had no business snapping at her the way I had.
Genevieve had seemed sincere when she’d said she planned to stay away from me after being told by Val she was carrying my baby. She’d said she wanted to return the ring and have one final goodbye. Was that really so unreasonable?
Yet again, I’d made things worse.
Still, I had a hard time believing Val would fake all this. It was extreme- even for her. I needed to talk to Genevieve. Val squeezed my hand.
“Before you make a choice,” she said, “there’s something you need to know about Genevieve. She’s not well.”
“What do you mean? She’s sick?”
“Yes. Not physically, but mentally. A year ago I had to have her institutionalized.”
“Why?”
“She attacked me.”
I dropped Val’s hand. It couldn’t be true. Genevieve in a mental institution? I couldn’t picture it.
“Ask her yourself if you don’t believe me,” Val said.
That was exactly what I would do. I stood and started to leave. Val grabbed my shirt sleeve.
“If this is it, will you kiss me goodbye? I’d hate to think the last time I ever saw you, you stormed out of my hospital room, leaving me to wonder if I’d made the worst mistake of my life. One last kiss. Please?”
I leaned over, intending to kiss her on the forehead, but Val was too quick. Her lips found mine, soft and sweet. Her mouth opened and her tongue brushed against mine. I cradled her face gently as she kissed me harder.
“What are you doing?”
I jumped and turned to find Genevieve standing behind me. A look of shock and rage twisted her face.
“You two really do deserve each other,” she said with disgust as she ran out of the room.
“Gen, wait!”
I ran after her to the sound of Val’s sobs.
Genevieve
I’d made it as far as the hospital parking lot. Then I changed my mind. I’d resolved to cut my mother out of my life for good, but something pulled me back. I wanted to tell her off. If I was never going to see her again, I wanted to leave her with a parting gift. I wanted her to know exactly what I thought of her. She may not care about the damage she’d wrought in my life, but I’d never be able to move on unless I told her exactly how much she’d hurt me.
I turned around and marched back into the hospital with a renewed sense of purpose. I wouldn’t let her speak. I’d tell her exactly how I felt, then I’d return home, pack my bags and leave. I had no idea where I’d go, but I’d figure it out even if it meant homelessness. Hell, panhandling seemed like a better alternative than having to live under the same roof as Val.
I took a breath then opened my mother’s hospital room door. Luke’s back was to me. He held Val’s face in his hand while he kissed her passionately.
Stars danced in front of my eyes. I thought I would pass out.
“What are you doing?” I said breathlessly.
Luke jumped out of bed like he’d been electrocuted. He looked confused. My mother licked her lips. The corner of her mouth twitched like she was about to laugh. My heart dropped; my stomach twisted into knots. The pale green walls of the hospital room closed in on me. I had to get out.
I ran to the sound of Luke calling after me. Was he nuts? Did he think I was going to hang around and watch him make out with my mother? I hated him with every fiber of my being for falling for my mother’s bullshit. How could be so oblivious? I never wanted to see him again.
Luke
Genevieve was moving fast. She made it out of the hospital to the emergence drop-off before I was able to catch up with her.
“Just leave me alone,” she screamed. “You’re pathetic. How can you not see that she’s lying and manipulating you?”
The hurt in Genevieve’s eyes made me want to die. I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t what it looked like, that her mother had insisted on a goodbye kiss. I’d indulged her because… well, I wasn’t sure.
In the moment, I’d pitied Val. Denying her a final kiss felt excessively cruel, especially if it turned out she was telling the truth. I wanted to explain to Genevieve, but I knew it was pointless. She was too blinded by her feelings to hear what I had to say.
“What has she lied about?” I asked, as gently as possible.
“Everything! How can you not see that?”
“I know she’s lied to me about a lot. Her story was so dramatic. It doesn’t make sense.”
Genevieve sniffled. The anger in her eyes seemed to ease a bit.
“You don’t believe her?”
I had the strange sense that if I didn’t answer correctly, I could break Genevieve into a million pieces. I’d never seen her look so fragile. I wanted to hold her and convince her it was all one big misunderstanding. I took a step towards her. She took a step back.
“Just tell me what she said,” Genevieve demanded.
“She said she snuck into the house to surprise me and found you lying in bed naked. The next part was unclear, but she said you pushed her down the stairs.�
�
I left out most of the details. They would only upset Genevieve more.
“It’s not true,” she said, sounding exhausted.
“She told me you have a history of violence.”
Genevieve’s eyes narrowed. She looked up at me sharply.
“She said you had to be institutionalized,” I continued. “Is that true?”
“No,” she snapped and turned her back on me. She buried her face in her hands.
After a moment, she said: “Yes.”
“What?”
“It’s true. I was in a mental institution.”
Part Three
Genevieve
“That dress makes you look fat.”
“You just said that I look too skinny,” I replied.
“Well, you’re skinny-fat. You could stand to hit the gym and tone up.”
I picked up my clothes and headed into the bathroom. I quickly decided that I didn’t need Michael’s opinion on my outfit. Asking for a compliment was too much. I would never satisfy his impossible standards.
“Where are you going? You don’t have to hide. You can change in front of me.”
I pretended like I didn’t hear him and closed the bathroom door behind me. I leaned against the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was long and messy. I’d barely run a comb through it when I woke up this morning. I just didn’t seem to have the energy to do anything.
Michael had promised me a night out on the town. He said it would lift my spirits. I was planning on wearing jeans, but he insisted I dress nicely, or as he put it: “I can’t be seen out with an ugly girl.”
He’d said it with a laugh like it was a big joke, but I wasn’t sure he was kidding.
Times were desperate. My mother had sunk to a new low by telling Luke about my time in a mental institution. She knew it would convince Luke that I was a liar and she was right. After our confrontation in the hospital parking lot, he’s made no effort to get in touch with me. I’d gone straight home, packed my things and blindly headed out the door. After roaming the city streets for hours, I realized I couldn’t sleep in the park; it was too scary.
Against my better instincts, I called Michael. I figured he’d want nothing to do with me after being humiliating by Luke, but he was eager to take me in. He greeted me with a big smile. It was then I understood his eagerness to help; he wanted to rub it in Luke’s face. He had no interest in my wellbeing; this was about winning.
As I considered myself in the dirty bathroom mirror, it was hard to imagine there were any winners in this game. I slipped off my dress and turned to the side. What I saw made me nauseous. I was starting to show. A small baby bump gave my stomach a fullness it had never had before.
So far, no one seemed to suspect I was pregnant. My bump was small. I didn’t look pregnant yet, just bloated. Michael had made a few comments about how I was getting fatter, but he didn’t know the truth. If he found out, I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be. He’d probably kick me out. Then what? Returning home was not an option. The idea of asking Luke for money made me sick. I never wanted to see him again. But if I was going to keep this baby, then I was going to have to swallow my pride and ask him for help. The baby was his responsibility too.
I put on a short black dress with a sweater over it. The sweater hid my stomach while the miniskirt showcased my legs. I thought it would satisfy Michael’s desire to see me in a ‘sexy’ outfit.
Since moving in with him, he’d tried repeatedly to convince me to sleep with him. I’ve refused so far. Before finding out I was pregnant, I would have jumped into Michael’s arms in a heartbeat. The idea of sleeping with him while carrying another man’s baby felt repulsive to me now.
Then there was Luke. I thought he was just a fling, but he’d gotten under my skin. He’d betrayed me by believing my mother’s ludicrous story and yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I didn’t owe him loyalty, or anything really, but I couldn’t help having feelings for him. We shared a chemistry that led to the creation of life. We would be forever connected because of it.
I stepped out of the bathroom and turned around slowly, letting Michael inspect my outfit.
“Do you approve?” I asked.
He leered at me, not with lust, but a critical eye. The look on his face made me want to punch him. He rubbed his chin. Michael was attempting- and failing- to grow a goatee. It made him look like a sleazy drug dealer. He nodded.
“Much better.”
“Where are you taking me tonight?”
“That’s a surprise. After everything that’s happened, I thought you could use a night out on the town. My treat.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. For all of Michael’s faults, he cared about me. No one else did. He wasn’t perfect, but he could change, right?
“Your girlfriend won’t be there, will she?”
Michael laughed. Dimples dented his cheeks. The sleazy look disappeared and was replaced with boyish charm. Suddenly the guy I fell for months ago reemerged.
“Don’t be silly Gen. She’s not my girlfriend. We were just having fun. Kind of like you and that rich prick. It wasn’t serious. Just a fling.”
I smiled weakly. Michael’s charm had a way of fading quickly. Still, I was grateful for a night out. No one’s ever taken care of me. I’ve always been on my own. It was nice to have someone to lean on.
Michael is far from perfect, but he’s a known quantity. He’s never surprised me and I doubt he ever will.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and hugged him. Michael pulled me to him, pressing his body against mine roughly. I swallowed hard. I really needed to accelerate my job hunt and get my own place. Michael was lucky enough to have parents who could afford to rent their son an apartment.
I had no one.
Reluctantly, I squeezed Michael back. In the past, I enjoyed his lean body. But now that I’d had a taste of Luke, Michael looked bony and weak in comparison. I pulled away from him with effort. He didn’t want to let me go.
“Are you going to change clothes?” I asked. He was wearing baggy jeans and a flannel t-shirt.
“No, why?”
“Well, you said I needed to look nice…”
He stared at me blankly.
“I just assumed that meant you were taking me some place nice, and that you would dress up too.”
He laughed. “I see. No,” he added flatly. “Men aren’t expected to dress up. The dress code is reserved for the ladies.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.”
Luke
Trent slid a whiskey on the rocks down the bar to me.
“You need something stronger than beer,” he said.
My head was already swimming with alcohol, but I didn’t care. I needed more. I wanted to drink until I reached oblivion. I threw back the whiskey and asked Trent to order me a second.
“Take it easy, man. You need to loosen up, but I don’t want to have to carry your drunk ass out of the bar.”
“If you’re going to be an asshole, leave,” I snapped.
The mess I found myself in had nothing to do with Trent. He was just an easy punching bag.
“I’m just trying to help.”
“If you hadn’t told me to sleep with her,” I slurred, “none of this would have happened.”
It was a lie. This was all my fault. I just wanted to take the blame out on someone else.
“I take back what I said. You don’t need anything stronger than beer. How long have you been sitting here drinking?”
I waved my hand dismissing his question.
“Ten minutes,” I lied.
The truth was I’d been throwing back beer after beer for closer to an hour. I wasn’t supposed to meet Trent here until ten. I’d purposely shown up an hour early so I could drink alone. Lately, I’d been avoiding Trent and focusing on work. I didn’t want to hear his advice, but I knew he’d give it to me anyway. It was only a matter of time.
“And how
many beers did you drink in the last ‘ten minutes’?”
There was an edge to his voice that said: ‘I know you’re full of shit. You’ve been sitting here getting wasted all night.’
“Do you disapprove, mother?”
“Hey man, I’m not the enemy. I’m just trying to help.”
“Go help someone else. Your ‘help’ makes things worse.”
“If you recall, I told you to quote: ‘Hit it and quit it.’ Did I not tell you that when you stick your dick in crazy you reap the consequences?”
“Genevieve’s not crazy.”
“She was in a mental institution. I’d say that’s evidence against your argument.”
“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation why.”
Trent laughed. I hadn’t meant it as a joke.
“Look, for the record, I’m Team Genevieve. No one knows her crazy mother better than she does and if she thinks Val faked the whole pregnancy then threw herself off a balcony to manipulate you, then I believe her.”
“She didn’t throw herself off a balcony. She fell down the stairs.”
“Whatever, dude. The point is: you can’t trust Val.”
“No, I can’t trust Val. The question is: can I trust Genevieve.”
“I know you want to, but I don’t think so.”
“You just said you believed her, that you were on her side.”
“I do believe her- on this. I’m not sure I’d trust her on anything else. And I’m not on her side, I’m on your side, you idiot. Haven’t you been listening?”
I raised my hand and tried to get the bartender’s attention, but he was talking to a busty blonde at the end of the bar. Trent grabbed my arm and pinned it to the bar.
“You don’t need any more to drink,” he said.
“Since when are you a Teetotaler?”
