“Oh, yeah,” Cameron said.
He stood right next to me, and my excitement over our adventure, mixed with my delight in having Cameron there with me to enjoy it, made me giddy. I hadn’t had this much fun in a very long time. We watched the pod of whales until they disappeared from view. The boat moved slowly forward.
“We don’t know where they’ll surface next,” Fisher said. “Watch closely as sometimes a whale will breach, which means jump out of the water. It doesn’t happen often, so if you see it, you’re very lucky.”
A minute later I saw a spout and called it out. Several plumes of mist blew up in the air, then the whales surfaced. Everyone oohed and aahed in excitement, including Cameron and me. After a moment the whales disappeared from view. As we waited for them to surface again, Cameron put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. He leaned toward me and whispered, “I’m glad we cleared the air yesterday.”
I looked up at him and smiled. “Me, too.” I gazed at him a moment, hoping he’d kiss me, but he didn’t, and I wondered if I should be the one to initiate our next kiss. Maybe that’s what he was waiting for. I would have to find the right time—I didn’t feel comfortable kissing him in front of everyone. But I was determined to let him know that I was okay with kissing.
Our boat driver moved us to another position and we saw the whales a few more times. Then, as time was getting short, he took us to a place where sea lions were lounging on a buoy. The boat slowly circled the buoy, allowing us to get a close-up look at the sea lions. As we headed back to the harbor, I wished we could stay longer and see more whales. Fisher pointed out a glacier and we stopped and took pictures, then continued back to the harbor.
At the harbor, we climbed in the van and drove back to our starting place. As we drove, Cameron had his arm around my shoulder and I leaned my head against him. “That was so much fun,” I said.
“Yeah.” He looked at me. “I really enjoyed spending the morning with you.”
I pulled back slightly so that I was looking in his face, which was only inches from mine. “It wouldn’t have been the same without you,” I said, smiling.
The van stopped and he looked out the window. “Looks like we’re back.”
My thoughts immediately went to Natalie and how she was doing. “I wonder if Barbara’s back on the ship,” I said as Cameron and I climbed out of the van.
“You can call her cell phone.”
“Good idea.” I pulled my phone out of my purse and punched in her number. A moment later she answered. I didn’t hear Natalie crying in the background, so that was good. “Hi, Barbara. This is Lily.”
“Hi there, hon.”
I smiled at the friendly tone in her voice. “We just got back to the pier. How did it go?”
“Your baby is an angel.”
I smiled. “That, I know.”
Barbara laughed. “We finished our shopping and she’s sleeping on my bed as we speak.”
“Well, I’ll come and get her and then you’ll have a couple of hours to get off the ship before we set sail.”
“Oh no. My shopping wore me out. You and Cameron enjoy your afternoon. The ship sails at three, so I’ll see you when you get back on.”
Happy to have a couple more hours to spend with Cameron, I smiled. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll see you in a while.” I disconnected the call and turned to Cameron. “Natalie’s asleep, and Barbara said I didn’t need to come get her yet.” Then I hesitated. Maybe Cameron had other things he wanted to do before we set sail. Worried now that I was imposing on him, I left my question unasked.
“Great. What would you like to do?” he asked.
I looked at the tram station nearby. “The tram might be fun.” I bit my lip. “Do you want to go too?”
He laughed. “What? Are you planning on going by yourself?”
My face flushed. “I didn’t want to assume you were going with me. Maybe you want to spend some time with your friends.”
He took my hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb, sending a shiver of pleasure through me. “Like I told you yesterday, Lily, I think we should have fun this week, because once we get back to real life, we might decide to never see each other again.”
Would I decide to never see him again? I gazed at him a moment, then thought about Marcus, but that just confused me. Before coming on this cruise I’d been sure I was falling in love with Marcus, but he’d rebuffed me, and now, after getting to know Cameron, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. “You’re right,” I said, smiling. I pushed Marcus to the back of my mind. He wasn’t on this cruise, and even if he was, he’d probably have his new girlfriend by his side, not me.
We bought the tickets for the tram, then boarded. As the tram ascended, we gazed out the window.
“Wow, this view is spectacular,” I said. “And seeing the ship from this bird’s eye view is really amazing.”
“Yeah,” Cameron said. “And look out at the water, the way the ship came in.”
Once we reached the top, we looked out the windows in the tram station, then walked down the nature trail. The day was sunny and beautiful, though chilly. Nevertheless, I felt wonderful—relaxed and happy and loving life. As Cameron and I walked hand in hand down the nature trail, I stopped under a large tree, deciding this would be my chance to show him that I liked kissing. No one else was near, and Cameron looked at me with a question on his face.
Chapter Seventeen
I smiled, suddenly feeling shy.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I gazed at him. “Yes.” I hesitated. “When we talked yesterday, there was one thing that I think I didn’t make clear.”
His eyebrows rose. “Oh?”
I bit my lip. “I told you how I was afraid of getting hurt.”
He nodded. “That was why you pulled away when I was kissing you the other night.”
I smiled, glad we were on the same page. “Right.”
“And?”
“And, well, I just want you to know that I don’t have anything against kissing.”
He grinned. “That is good to know.”
I stood there, waiting for him to make a move, but he just stared at me, a tiny smile on his face. Finally I said, “Well?”
He laughed. “Well, what?”
Now I was feeling impatient. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Shocked, I just stared, my mouth hanging open a little. “Why not?” I finally asked.
“I thought we’d agreed that we were going to take things slow. You know, get to know each other. As friends.”
“As friends,” I echoed, my voice soft, then I turned away. He’s just another Marcus. He touched my shoulder and I turned to face him.
He looked confused. “I thought that’s what you wanted, Lily.”
What do I want? Angry at myself for not being sure, I frowned. I thought I wanted a long-term relationship, but did I want that with Cameron? Or was he just a stand-in for Marcus? The least I could do was be honest with him. “Truthfully, I don’t know what I want.”
He nodded, his expression firm. “Well, until you do, we should keep things platonic.” He smirked. “No point in confusing things with kissing and all that.”
Though his statement made sense on a logical level, emotionally I was eager for the feelings that kissing him evoked in me. Yes, I’d gotten scared the other night by the powerful feeling of attraction I’d had toward him, but did that mean I didn’t want to kiss him at all? You’re over-thinking this, I told myself.
“Don’t you agree?” he asked.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came to mind. Finally I shrugged. He put both hands on my shoulders, his face only inches away—close enough to kiss. My gaze flicked between his mouth and his eyes.
“Lily,” he said, drawing my attention to his eyes. “You don’t have to decide right now.”
I n
odded, a sense of relief replacing my confusion. Then a new question came to mind. “What do you want?” I asked.
He let go of my shoulders and looked thoughtful. “You’re a special woman, and I don’t want you to rush into anything that you’ll later regret.” He laughed. “I barely know you, but already I know I don’t want to be one of the people that end up disappointing you.”
“But what do you want?”
He stared just past me, then his gaze met mine. “Do you really want to know?”
I nodded, suddenly uncertain.
He gazed at me, and his expression became fierce. “I want to hold you and kiss you until all your doubts flee.”
I gasped as a thrill of desire raced through me.
He laughed and ran his hand through his hair, then spoke quietly, almost like he was talking to himself. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I just met you.”
I stared at him in silence, my eyes wide.
He met my gaze and smiled. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”
My lips curved into a smile. “Which part?”
His face reddened. “All of it.”
“I’m not sure I can forget that.” My voice softened. “It was kind of poetic.”
He grinned. “No one’s ever accused me of being a poet before.”
A group of people passed us, bringing me back to reality. “What time is it?”
He looked at his watch. “Two o’clock.”
“We have to be back on the ship by two thirty.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
We walked back to the tram station and boarded the next tram. We were silent as we rode to the bottom. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but my mind was in a whirl. Cameron had made it clear that he wanted more than mere friendship from me. The thought made me mentally hug myself. Even as he wanted me to take my time to decide what I wanted, there was no doubt what he wanted, even if he’d told me to forget what he’d said.
When we got off of the tram, he held out his hand, a questioning look on his face. I smiled and intertwined my fingers with his, then we walked toward the line of people waiting to get back on the ship.
“It’s been quite a day,” he said, smiling at me.
“Yes. Much better than I’d hoped.”
“Which part was your favorite?”
“The whale watching. Definitely the whale watching.” I paused. “What about you?”
His eyes sparkled and his dimple deepened. “I kind of liked that nature walk.”
I felt my face blush. Even though we hadn’t kissed, we’d opened our hearts to each other. “Yeah, that was fun too.”
He let go of my hand and put his arm around me, pulling me against his side. I relished the warmth of his body against mine, and smiled as I remembered what he said he wanted to do.
Once we were back on the ship, we walked to the elevator and Cameron pressed the up button. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to spend time with me, plus I hadn’t seen Natalie all day, so I wanted to spend time with her. “I’m going to get Natalie and take her back to my room.” The elevator arrived and we stepped on. I pressed the button for Barbara’s floor. “What do you have planned?” I asked him.
“Uh, I guess I’ll see what everyone’s up to.” He smiled. “Do you want to get together later?”
“Sure.” The elevator moved upward.
“I’m not sure where I’ll be,” he said.
“I’ll stroll Natalie around, so I’ll probably run into you. If not, I’ll see you at dinner.”
He nodded. “Sounds good.”
A moment later I got off on Barbara’s floor and Cameron continued on to his. When I got to Barbara’s room, Natalie and Barbara were playing with some of the toys I’d sent in the diaper bag. When Natalie saw me, she smiled, which made me feel good. “Thank you so much for watching her,” I said as I picked her up.
“It was fun,” Barbara said. “But I admit, I might want to take a nap after you leave.” She paused. “How was your day?”
I beamed. “It was wonderful.”
“I’m so glad. Did you see very many whales?”
“Yes, and it was really cool to see them.”
She smiled. “I knew you’d enjoy it.”
“We went on the tram.”
“Oh, the view up there is beautiful.”
“Yeah, it was really fun. We went on the nature walk too.” I smiled, remembering the conversation I’d had with Cameron among the trees.
Back in my room, I made sure Natalie was fed and changed, then I put her in the stroller and we walked around the ship, stopping to join a trivia game in one of the lounges. I didn’t see Cameron until dinner, but we sat next to each other.
“What do you have planned for tomorrow, in Ketchikan?” he asked.
“Well, we only have a few hours to be there, so I was just going to do some shopping. What about you?”
“I hear there’s a rodeo there, so I was going to check it out with some of the others.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Do you want to come?”
I laughed. “No. I don’t think Natalie would enjoy it, but thanks.”
“What about going dancing? Would you like to go tonight?”
“As much fun as that would be, why don’t we put it off until tomorrow night? I don’t want to keep imposing on people to babysit.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
The next morning Natalie and I strolled around Ketchikan, going into a number of stores. As I browsed the shelves of items, I decided to buy a little totem pole for Marcus. Even if we were just friends, I wanted to get him something so that he would know I had thought about him on the trip.
When I was done shopping, I got back onto the ship for the last time. The next day we’d stop in Victoria, British Columbia, but we wouldn’t arrive until seven thirty that evening, so I didn’t plan on disembarking. And then we’d arrive back in Seattle the day after that.
As I settled Natalie in for a nap, I thought over the last few days. It had been wonderful to see Ty and Alyssa get married, and now that I knew Cameron, it was hard to imagine never having met him. I smiled as I thought about going dancing with him that night—I’d already arranged to have Haley babysit—and wondered how it would go. I still didn’t know what I wanted with Cameron—did I see myself getting into a long-term relationship with him, or never seeing him again once we got back to real life? Shrugging off my ambivalence, I decided I would just enjoy myself that night and not worry about the future.
That night’s dinner was the second elegant night, and I wore a silky black dress with lacy sleeves. When I walked into the dining room, I couldn’t help but notice Cameron’s appreciative gaze. He helped me put Natalie in her high chair, then he held out my chair for me. He looked handsome in his suit, and his dimple deepened as he smiled at me.
“You look lovely,” he said.
“Thank you.” I scanned my menu, then turned to Cameron. “I see frog legs are on the menu tonight. Are you going to try them?”
He laughed. “I don’t think I’m quite that adventurous.”
“That’s too bad, because I was going to ask for a bite.”
His eyebrows went up. “Is that right? Well, you can always order it.”
I laughed. “No way.”
“So you’re just trying to trick me into ordering it,” he said.
“That’s right.”
“Well, your tricks won’t work.”
I shrugged. “It was worth a try.”
He laughed.
When it was time for our date, he brought Haley to my room to babysit, then the two of us left, still wearing our elegant dining clothes.
“You really look fantastic,” he murmured in my ear as he leaned toward me.
His warm breath sent a thrill of pleasure through me and I was eager to dance within his embrace—especially since that was the only time he seemed willing to get that close to me. We went straight to the dance club and onto the dance floor. The
music was loud, but we had a great time.
A slow song came on and when Cameron pulled me close, I slid my arms around his neck and relished the feel of his strong body so close to mine.
“I can’t believe tomorrow night’s the last night,” he said.
“Oh, don’t remind me,” I said. “I’ve had so much fun, it’s going to be hard to leave.”
He pulled back slightly and gazed at me. “The question is, is this it for us?”
I gazed back, studying his face, then whispered, “It doesn’t have to be.”
He smiled, then pulled me close again.
As we swayed to the music, I considered what would happen if I kept seeing him once we left the ship. Would we become serious, or would he eventually break my heart? What about Natalie? What if she got used to having him around and then he lost interest in me? The thought scared me. I didn’t want to do anything that would upset my child. But Natalie and I were a package deal—if he was going to spend time with me, he would need to spend time with her. I didn’t want to get involved with someone who wasn’t interested in helping me raise her.
Marcus’s face filled my mind’s eye. He’d been there when Natalie was born, and he’d been there for me ever since. It’s true that he’d seemed to put up a barrier recently, but as far as I could tell, that was because I’d scared him off by saying how much I liked him.
When I pictured Marcus dancing close with the woman his mother told me he was dating, the woman I’d never met, jealously pierced me. I squeezed my eyes closed against Cameron’s shoulder, reminding myself that Marcus had been clear when he’d told me we were only friends. I had to get over any feelings of jealousy I had, and instead, be happy for him if he found someone to love.
As the thought came to mind, my forehead creased. I didn’t want to think about him being happy with someone else. But he doesn’t want you, I reminded myself. Not like that. Why am I even thinking about him now? I thought as I moved around the dance floor in Cameron’s arms. Then I realized that it was because the cruise had been a way to step away from my everyday life—a way to not think about Marcus. But now that the cruise was almost over, reality was settling back into my mind.
“Are you okay?” Cameron asked.
Love At Last (Lily's Story, Book 3) Page 13
