Her anxiety fled as she set the picture down, Kase had always loved her. He would see her through her dilemma. Annika turned to face him, and found him seated on the corner of his desk, one leg up across his knee. He was waiting for her to begin.
“How’s the baby?”
“Fine. Rose fed him for the first time. He’s doing well.”
“Have you definitely decided on the name Joseph?” She was stalling. She knew it. He knew it.
He obliged her. “Joseph Caleb Storm, after Rose’s father and mine.”
It was the opening she needed. “Will you tell me the truth if I ask you some very personal questions?” He tensed; she saw it in the way he shifted and straightened his shoulders.
“Why don’t we start with the reason we’re here?” he countered. “I want to know what Richard Thexton said to you that made Buck Scott tear into him like that. Or is it just Scott’s habit to hit first and ask questions later?”
She ignored his last comment. “Richard said that blood will tell. That he was glad he found out I had such a wild streak before we married.”
Kase stood up but didn’t move away from the desk. Stone faced, he waited for her to go on.
“He said people in Boston have gossiped about our mother for years”—she took a deep breath and forced herself to repeat Thexton’s cruel words—“that everyone speculated over whether she had whored for Indians or not. They think that’s the reason she married a half-breed. He said everyone wonders where you really came from. No one’s ever told me, either. I just want to know the truth.”
His face took on a terrible darkness she had never seen before. With his hands clenched into fists at his side, Kase stared down at her, his exotic features at odds with the state-liness of the library. “Sit down.”
The two words shattered her more than anything he might have said, because she assumed by his tone that it was all true. Just as stubborn as he, she remained standing. “Tell me.
Kase took a deep breath. “Our mother was raped by reservation renegades when she was sixteen. Most of her family was killed. Her younger sister and brother were taken captive and eventually chose the Sioux way of life. She found herself pregnant, but she refused to give me up despite the rejection she faced at the hands of her own Dutch kinsmen. The rest you know. Caleb met her when she was living in a sod house outside Pella, Iowa. They were married a short time later and he adopted me. I was five. You were born the next year.”
Annika tried to picture her mother at sixteen, facing the loss of her family, enduring rape and the birth of a child conceived during the vicious attack. “To think that all these years I’ve thought of the story of her house on the prairie and Papa’s meeting her as a fairy tale. My God. Poor mother.” Then she looked up at her brother, her lifelong protector and friend. Needing a tangible connection between them, she reached out and took his hand. “At least you really are my half brother, Kase. When Mama and Papa would never tell me the truth, I quit asking because I was afraid to find out that they had adopted you.”
He pulled her close and hugged her. “When I learned the truth, I didn’t want them to tell you. We all thought it would upset you too much, because after all, you were only fourteen then. Mother, understandably, can’t and won’t talk about the rape. In fact, they would never even have told me if I hadn’t forced it out of Caleb.”
When she spoke, her words were muffled by his shirt. “That’s why you left home so abruptly?”
He nodded. “Suddenly I didn’t know who or what I was. My anger had always been hard to control, I couldn’t stand the intolerance I faced in Boston, so I learned to fight it with my fists. Then, when I heard the truth, I was afraid I was becoming exactly like the man that fathered me.”
She pulled back to look up at him. There was no doubt in her heart or mind when she said, “That’s impossible. I can’t believe how I could have walked so blithely through life ignoring what was going on all around me.”
“It’s easy to understand. Mother and Caleb made certain you were insulated. You were always with the two of them or with Ruth. Then there were all the years of schooling. Richard is your first close contact with Boston society, and in a way, I’m glad Thexton’s brought it all out into the open.”
“I’m just thankful I didn’t many him.”
Kase smiled for the first time. “So am I. I think you know now why I was so certain Mother would understand your ... predicament. Even if you are pregnant, Annemeke, she and Caleb will stand by you. So will I, and if you want us to, Rose and I will raise your child, and Buttons, too, for that matter.”
Annika stepped away from Kase and walked around to the back of his desk before she turned to face him. “Is it already that apparent to you that Buck won’t marry me?”
“What did he say when you talked to him alone?”
Tears threatened, but she fought them back. “He said he only came here to see about Buttons, to see if she was happy.”
“He’s lying.”
Annika grasped at the thin straw of hope his words offered. “Do you think so?”
“I know so. After the beating I gave him, anyone who didn’t really love you would have hightailed it out of here. When we were in jail in Busted Heel he asked me if you had married Richard.”
“In jail?”
Kase smiled and shrugged. “You know how cantankerous Zach can be. It was his idea of a joke to lock us up together. Anyway, I think Buck came here intending to keep you from marrying Richard, which leads me to believe he wants to marry you himself.”
Annika folded her arms. “He told me he didn’t want Baby Buttons to live with us if I did marry Richard.”
“Didn’t you tell him the engagement is off?”
“Yes, and I told him I still love him.” She took a deep breath and met her brother’s eyes. “But it didn’t matter. He thinks we’re from two different worlds and that it would come between us.”
“He may be right.”
“What about you and Rose? You are both as different as night and day, but your marriage has worked.” She rubbed her arms to ward off the night chill that had crept into the un-heated room. “I know Buck doesn’t appear to be much more than a trapper, but he has a gentle, loving heart, and as you saw today, he has a gift for healing. With a year or two of training Buck would make a wonderful doctor. He’s a stubborn man, Kase, as stubborn as you, but I love him.”
“It doesn’t matter to me what he is, even if he used to be a buffalo hunter. The thing is, he put us through hell when he took you off that train, Annika.” He ran his hand through his hair and then shook the raven strands back over his shoulder. “Did you tell him you think you might be pregnant?”
Unwilling to admit that she was more certain than ever that she was, Annika shook her head and said, “No. I don’t want him if I have to get him that way.” She walked back to his side and stood next to him. “I’m afraid I’ll lose him before I change his mind. He said he’s leaving in the morning.”
Kase put his arm around her shoulder and walked her across the room. “You know I’ll do anything I can to help.” Before he opened the door he paused and frowned for a moment. Then he added, “If you need more time, I think I can arrange to keep Mr. Scott here a while longer.”
STRETCHED out on his bunk with his hands behind his head, Buck lay wide awake after a sleepless night and stared at the ceiling. Beneath the covers he was still dressed and ready to leave before the first light of day slipped above the horizon. The uneven racket of the men snoring in the beds lined up against the bunkhouse wall had not kept him awake as much as thoughts of Annika and Buttons had. Every time he shut his eyes he imagined Annika dressed in her finery, smiling at him with love shining in her eyes, or he saw Buttons playing on the floor of her new room surrounded by her toys.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. Impatience brought him to his feet. He straightened the bedcovers, fluffed his pillow, and then pulled his saddlebags out from under the bed. Planning to creep into th
e barn and saddle his horse before anyone else was about, he knelt on one knee and drew his rifle from beneath the bed and cradled it in his arm. A sudden draft whirled through the bunkhouse. Buck turned toward the door.
Kase Storm stepped inside and looked straight at him.
Buck swallowed.
“I need your help,” Kase said.
It was the last thing in the world Buck had expected the man to say. He thought Storm had come to throw him off the ranch before Annika was awake, then he thought of Rose. “Is your wife all right? The baby?”
“They’re fine.”
The men in the room began to rouse themselves from sleep. A young man with a drooping handlebar moustache that covered his entire upper lip sat up bleary eyed. “What’s up, boss?”
“Someone left the buffalo corral open and about half the herd is missing. Wake the rest and be ready to ride in five minutes.”
The young hand quickly pulled on his trousers and began to rouse the others as Kase continued to watch Buck. “Can you ride with us? I’ll need all the help I can get and I don’t think four men will do it.”
Buck weighed the consequences. If he stayed, he’d be forced to come back in broad daylight and risk the chance of seeing Annika again. He would have to say good-bye to Buttons. Tempted to tell the man no and let Kase Storm round up his own buffalo, Buck lifted his saddlebags to his shoulder.
“Well?” Storm tried to block his exit.
Buck met him eye to eye. If he stayed he would spend hours in the saddle debating the same questions he thought he had settled last night.
If he stayed he might change his mind.
“I need an answer,” Storm said as the other men fumbled into their clothes, pulled on their boots, grabbed coats and hats, and then began to file out the door.
If he stayed he’d have one more day with her.
“What the hell,” Buck grumbled under his breath. “I’ll go with you.”
25
WIPING her hands on a gingham apron that covered her tartan wool gown, Annika blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and then reached for the apple pie on the kitchen cabinet. Step after careful step in yellow kid boots, she crossed the room, set the pie on top of the stove, and opened the oven door. Then, taking great care not to spill its contents, she slid the pie plate into the oven and closed the door. A glance at the clock told her it was one-thirty.
Rose told her that morning that Kase had taken the men out to round up missing buffalo and that he had intended to ask Buck Scott to join him. The men were still gone, so whether or not he had succeeded she didn’t know. Her nerves were near the breaking point.
Household chores had kept her hands occupied even though her mind was constantly on Buck. She had carried a breakfast tray up to Rose early that morning and again at midday. When Rose grew tired of wrestling with a fussy baby, Annika had rocked Joseph in her arms and walked the floor with him. The task gave her an excuse to go from window to window and watch for the men. Then, there was Buttons to bathe and chicken to fry, biscuits to bake and gravy to stir up for the men’s dinner. She was proud of her efforts, for the chicken was as golden brown and tender as any Rose had ever made.
The apple pie had been her own idea, and throughout detailed instructions issued from Rose’s bedside, Annika took notes and then hurried downstairs to carry them out. Now the pie was in the oven and she had a few moments to herself while both little ones and Rose were napping.
Annika took off her apron, hurried up to her room, and sat down at the oak secretary with the drop-leaf front. She set out her inkwell and journal and began a new entry.
May 2, 1882
I can’t help but feel that today will be a momentous day in my life, for one way or the other, my future with Buck Scott will be decided. If only Auntie Ruth were here, I would have her chart the stars and tell me what she sees. Perhaps I’m waiting for Buck to return with Kase, only to learn he left here this morning without so much as a goodbye.
Until I lost my heart to him I never fully understood the pain behind the words of Mrs. Browning’s lines,
Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand
Henceforward in thy shadow. Nevermore
Alone upon the threshold of my door
Of individual life, I shall command
The uses of my soul, nor lift my hand
Serenely in the sunshine as before...
Now I do know the pain of parting, just as I’ve learned I will survive, but I fear my broken heart will never mend if indeed he has left me.
The sound of horses’ hooves in the stable yard drew her attention. She lay down her pen, ran to the window, and pushed aside the flounced curtain. The afternoon sun shone on muddy ground churned up by half a dozen horses. She held her breath as she searched the group and suddenly felt her heart begin to pound. Buck’s broad shoulders and height were unmistakable. He dismounted at the barn, stood with his reins in his hand, and glanced up toward the house. Kase stood beside him. Even though she couldn’t hear what he was saying to Buck, it appeared her brother was trying to talk the other man out of leaving. Finally, she saw Buck nod, and then, when he followed Kase into the barn, Annika turned and hurried out of the room.
She raced downstairs to the kitchen, checked on the pie that bubbled and filled the air with a heady cinnamon-apple scent. She pinched her cheeks to bring color to them, smoothed down her skirt, and tied on her apron. When boot heels sounded on the veranda, she nearly dropped the stack of dishes she was carrying to the long trestle table in the middle of the room.
Her brother walked in first. She glanced nervously at him and smiled, then looked down at the table, intent on her task while the men hung their coats and hats on the wall pegs near the door. Buck walked in behind them.
“We’re starved,” Kase said, his voice overloud and far too jovial.
She paused long enough to look at him but not at Buck. “Did you get all the buffalo?”
“Every last escapee.”
“How did they get out?”
He looked like he wanted to choke her. “I don’t know, Annika. They just did.”
Too late, she remembered his promise and knew her brother had let his precious buffalo loose so that he might keep Buck there a while longer. For her.
She smiled at Kase and then set down the last plate. “I’m glad you got them all.”
“Me too. Believe me.” He grabbed a whole apple from a bowl of fruit on the counter and headed toward the door. “I’m going to run up and see Rose and the baby.”
“I’ll fix a tray for you both so you can eat with her.”
“Thanks.” Kase smiled, taking her newfound ease in the kitchen for granted. He spoke to the youngest of the group, a lanky youth of seventeen. “Dickie, don’t dawdle over your meal. When you’re through, come upstairs. I’ve got a little errand I want you to go on.”
Buck watched Annika in silence, and followed the men’s lead as they pulled out the long benches and chairs around the table and took their seats. They talked jovially among themselves, laughing at the ups and downs they’d encountered during the buffalo roundup. There had been times during the day when he’d wondered how Kase Storm had succeeded as a rancher for the last five years. The man did more to spook the buffalo than gather them, and for a moment or two on the range Buck wondered if Kase had been trying to delay his departure.
While the others sat talking and laughing, waiting for Annika to serve them, Buck fidgeted in his chair, then stood up. She was ignoring him, that much was evident, and he didn’t like the chill he felt whenever she turned a cold shoulder to him. He felt the other men’s eyes on him as he crossed the room and stood behind Annika who was piling fried chicken on a platter. He ignored the men and tried to keep his eyes on her instead. It was an easy task he’d set for himself.
“Can I help you?” he asked softly.
“No, thank you.”
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“I thought you had left without a word.”
Turning away from him, she carried the chicken to the table and handed it to Dickie who began to pile some on his plate. Annika ladled boiled potatoes and carrots out of a Dutch oven.
“I was going to,” he admitted.
“What stopped you?”
“Your brother needed help.”
As soon as his words were out, she turned her ice blue eyes on him. “At least you’re honest,” she snapped.
Again he was treated to the sight of her back as she carried the vegetables to the table. When she returned to the cabinet she said curtly, “You’d better sit down or you’ll miss getting anything to eat.”
“Did you cook all this yourself?”
“I did.” When her pride mingled with defiance, she couldn’t help but lift her chin a little. Just wait until he saw the pie—
With a startled cry, Annika ran to the stove, grabbed the holders from a hook on the wall, and jerked open the oven door. The pie was a darker gold, the crust a bit crisper than she would have liked, but the dessert was more of a success than she had hoped. When she set it on top of the stove and closed the oven door, Dickie called out, “That pie sure looks fine, Miss Annika. Is it apple?”
She couldn’t help but glance at Buck to watch his expression when she said, “Yes. And I made it myself.”
“Looks every bit as good as Mrs. Storm’s,” Tom assured her.
“Thank you.” She beamed at him.
Buck wanted to wipe the grin right off the other man’s face. He paced back to the table. A loud thump on the floor of the room overhead caused all of them to look up. The sound was followed by crying and a call for “Ankah” to come up. Her hands full, Annika turned to Buck. “Could you go up and bring Buttons down?”
Buck could feel the men’s eyes on him as he left the room and was glad to get away from their scrutiny. They’d been watching him all day, probably speculating among themselves as to what was going on between him and the boss’s sister. Kase had kept him by his side all day, encouraged him to “at least stay for dinner.” Now he was trapped in a net of his own weaving. He could hear Buttons crying. He immediately walked down the hall and opened her door. “Hello, Baby. What’s the matter?”
Come Spring Page 36
