by June Winters
He looked at me, sighed, and finally relented. “Fine. I'll talk to him.”
“Thanks, Lance.”
We hugged.
“I love you,” he said.
“How can you say that!” I gasped. “It's only been 22 years!”
“Damn it, Honey Badger!”
“Just kidding. I love you too, Lance.”
We headed back to the GM's office.
Chapter 31
The Big Deal
Radar
While Lance and Ella were outside, I sat with Shea across from Mr. Tremblay. The mood was dark and somber, like we were attending a funeral—we all hated that we had to be here.
And maybe we were attending a funeral, in ways: mine, as a Boston Brawler.
“So you've got a deal in place with Vancouver?” I asked to get the ball rolling.
Mr. Tremblay nodded dourly.
“That's nice. Is it good for you?”
Mr. Tremblay shook his head. “Not quite. Vancouver straight up said they don't have a spot for you. The most they're willing to offer up in return is a couple of B-rate AHL prospects and draft futures. They're confused why you're even being offered up, and suggested we look for a deal elsewhere. ”
“Then why make the deal? Why not another team?”
“Lance is the face of this franchise for the next ten years. We have to keep him happy …”
I gave a shrug. “You'll do what you have to do.”
“This sucks like hell,” Shea said in a burst of rage. “Everyone knows this makes no sense. The team's going to be emotionally gutted when we lose Radar. He is a huge part of this team. Hell, Lance didn't even turn into the player he is today until Radar joined the team and started doing the heavy lifting on his line! And here we are, trying to trade him for a bag of pucks? Fuck this.”
“We've been trying to talk Lance out of it all morning,” Mr. Tremblay told me with a frown, “but he's drawn a line in the sand: it's either you or him, someone has to go. And he wants you as far away from his sister as possible.”
I blew out a heavy breath. “Oof. Well, if it's between me and him, the choice is obvious.”
“Is it?” Shea asked rhetorically. “Because sometimes I wonder. I get it, Lance puts a lot of butts in those seats, and he sells a lot of jerseys for this hockey franchise. But it sure seems like we give these young kids everything they want, not because of what they've accomplished, but based on their 'potential.' Doesn't seem smart to me. Seems more like we're creating an entitled monster that we'll have to deal with later on down the road. You know, back when I broke into this league, no one gave you shit until you accomplished something. You had to earn your keep and prove you could play the game before—”
I cut Shea off with a clap on the back. “Ahh. I'm so glad you gave me one last 'back in my day' rant. I'm gonna miss you, old man.”
“I'm gonna miss you too, bud.” He stood and we hugged. “I told you not to tell him, Radar. I told you to take it to the grave, didn't I?”
“You sure did.”
“Knucklehead. See what happens when you don't listen to the captain?” He gestured at my eye. “Now you've got a real nice shiner.”
“I took my licks last night. Thought I owed it to him.”
“You know, for the sake of the team, I wish you would've taken my advice. But … I'm kind of impressed that you didn't.”
“Yeah?” I asked. “Why's that?”
“You must really like that girl.”
“I do.”
“Does she like you?”
I couldn't help but smile. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Then there's nothing Lance can do about you guys, is there.”
“I'm not letting her go, no matter where I get traded.”
Mr. Tremblay's office door opened, and Ella and Lance stepped in.
“Hey, um, Radar. You mind if we talk in private for a moment?” Lance asked meagerly.
“Sure.”
“Really?” Shea asked. He wasn't so sure that was a good idea, and he started to rise from his chair.
I stopped him. “Don't. We're fine, Shea.”
“No more fighting, guys.”
Lance and I stepped outside into the quiet hall and looked over the empty ice.
“So …” Lance began. “I'll just come out and say it. Ella told me that you said you love her.”
“I do, Lance.”
“We both know that's impossible, Radar. Sounds to me like you're just trying to get laid.”
“I don't blame you for thinking that. I know it's soon. And, yeah, we haven't had a lot of time to get to know each other. But I love being around her. She's so cute and fun and off-the-wall. She's like no other girl I've known. And most importantly … I can already tell. There's just a certain something about her, dude. She doesn't care that I'm some famous athlete. She makes me want to be a better person.”
Lance sighed. “She told me you showed her your collection.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“I thought she should know who I was before we went any further. I wanted her to see it, and see who I was, even if I knew it might be a deal-breaker for her.”
“No … it wasn't a deal-breaker. I think, somehow, you actually scored more points by showing her that.” Lance made a harumph. “Some things I'll never understand.”
I chuckled. “That's what I'm talking about. She makes me feel like I can be myself around her. But I'm sorry it started behind your back, Lance.”
He laughed. “Trust me, that's the only way it would've started, because I wouldn't have let anything happen in front of me.”
“Right. But I'm just trying to say … I get why you're mad. And I'm sorry for how it went down. But I'm not sorry about the way I feel about her. And if you want me off the team, I understand, but I'm not going to let her slip through my fingers. I like this one, Lance. I really like Ella and I will see her again.”
His face twisted as if those words were utterly incomprehensible. To be fair, to a brother, I guess they would be.
“Well, as confusing as it is to hear all that, you're saying the right things, Radar. To her and now to me. So, um, I'm sorry I did the crazy over-protective older brother thing. I could've sworn you were just trying to fuck my little sister for the hell of it and add her panties to the collection.”
“I threw the collection away this morning. I'm done with it.”
“So you're really serious about my sister, then?” he asked, probing my eyes one last time.
“I am, Lance.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay, man. Then fuck the trade.”
A thousand tons dropped from my shoulders. “You're serious?”
“I'm serious, as long as you agree to a couple things,” Lance said. “Don't forget we still live together—and that's not going to change, either. In other words, if you cheat on her, I will find out about it. And not only will I rat you out, I will then proceed to cut your fucking nuts off in your sleep. Understand?”
I laughed. “Understood.”
“Second, I never, ever, ever want to hear you two having sex when she visits. So take her to a hotel, or invest in some quality sound-proofing, or better yet, just don't ever bang when I'm home. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Good.” He wrapped his arms around me and we hugged. “Then welcome to the family, bud.”
“Thanks, Lance. That means a lot to me.”
The two of us went back into Mr. Tremblay's office. Everyone's eyes were glued to us as we entered, with nervous expressions all around.
“Well?” Shea asked.
“Ah, what the hell,” Lance bellowed. “So Radar wants to date my sister. What's the big deal? Vancouver's offer sucks, anyway.”
“Lance!” Ella cheered. She jumped up and hugged him. He quietly gave her some brotherly words of wisdom, how he would always be there for her, and if I ever treat her wrong, she needed to let him know.
Smiling from ear to ear, Shea sho
ok my hand, and Mr. Tremblay did, too, and both men let me know how happy they were that this whole thing could be peacefully worked out.
And then the room hushed as Ella and I gravitated towards each other. She leaped into my arms and I scooped her off her feet, squeezing her tight in my arms.
I won't lie, part of me was afraid that, even though Lance had just given us his blessing, the sight of me embracing his sister might trigger some hidden rage and send him rushing at me. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Ella stayed right by my side and we clasped each other's hands.
And then we all watched as Mr. Tremblay picked up the phone and made a call. “Hey Jim. Jean-Paul here. Deal fell through on my end. Thanks, catch you later.”
Click.
And a collective sigh of relief went around the room.
“So now what?” Lance asked.
“I gotta get this girl to the airport,” I said with a frown. “You wanna come with us, Lance?”
He looked at his watch. “Argh. Can't.”
Ella rolled her eyes. “Lemme guess: you're meeting Lindsay?”
“Yeah, actually.”
“Next time I visit, you're introducing me to her, okay?”
“Sure.”
Lance and Ella hugged one last time, we hurried through our goodbyes, and then I rushed Ella out to my car to make her flight.
Chapter 32
Goodbye
Ella
“What a whirlwind,” I said with a sigh as we sped down the highway. “These past few days went by so fast.” I gave a long, tired yawn. “And jeez, I'm drained from all the drama.”
“I'll say. Feels like I aged 5 years this weekend.”
“In a good way or bad way?”
He looked at me like I was nuts. “There's a good way to age?”
“Yes,” I said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I looked at Ryan and tried to imagine this rugged, handsome man, five years older and entering his 30's. I started to run my hands through his hair, methodically looking for gray hairs.
Ryan caught on to what I was doing. “Hey, what the hell? Are you looking for gray hairs?”
I giggled. “Yeah, I am.”
“You find any?” he asked nervously.
“Unfortunately, not yet …”
“Unfortunately?!”
“You'd look so hot in salt-and-pepper, Ryan. You'd look all distinguished but macho, too. And you score double points if you're still super jacked.”
He tutted. “Huh. Well … if you say so.”
“Oh! Hey! Found one!” I cheered and pinched my fingers shut on the lone gray hair.
“No you didn't,” he said gravely.
“I'm not a liar.” I plucked it and showed it to him.
Ryan took his eyes off the road to inspect it. “I'll be damned. You really think that hair turned gray because of this weekend?”
“No, that's silly. But I do think we both grew up a lot this weekend.”
He nodded. “I definitely did.”
We drove on for miles, my hand in his. My head was spinning—from today, and last night, and hell the whole weekend, really, and also the things I was going back home to …
Eventually, Ryan noticed I was in my own world.
“What's on your mind?” he asked.
“God, what isn't on my mind?”
“Tell me everything.”
“I was just thinking about us … this weekend … work … how I'm not at all excited to go back to New York … and how nervous I am.”
“Nervous about what?” he asked.
I sighed. “Don't get me wrong. I'm so happy that things worked out, Ryan. But … now it feels like there's all this pressure for things to work out between us. You know?”
He shook his head. “I don't feel any pressure.”
“What if you end up not liking me?”
He chuckled. “Not happening.”
But I began to spiral downwards. “Really? What makes you so sure? What if, the second you put me on that plane, the reality of everything we did suddenly hits you? Everything we said, everything you went through with Lance and the team and everything else, dawns on you in the darkest of ways. And you start saying to yourself,” I puffed my chest up and did my best gruff Radar voice, “'what the hell was I thinking? I almost nuked my career over a girl I'm barely going to be able to see. Plus, why should I settle down? Wherever I go, girls wanna bang me, because my name's Radar, and—'”
He cut me off before I went too far off the deep end.
“Hey, stop that. First of all, you do a terrible impression of me. Second, I don't want to 'bang' anybody else. Third, New York isn't that far from Boston at all. We'll find ways to sneak in visits. We'll make it work.”
“You really think so?” I asked, my voice tinged with doubt. I needed to be reassured.
“I do.” Ryan snapped his finger as if a great idea just came to him. “Oh! Hey, what are you doing next weekend?”
“Pft … probably working.” I rolled my eyes. “Why, what are you doing?”
“The team's got a road trip to New York. If you can take time off, I'd love to see you.”
I squealed with delight. “Of course I can make time for you.”
But then reality, and a small bit of dread, started to soak in. “For this to be a thing, though, I'll have to start taking more time off work in general. I work through the weekends, you know. I've gone months without taking a day off.”
Ryan gave me a side-eyed glare, like I ought to know better. “And from what you've told me about yourself, your 24/7 work schedule has become a problem for you.”
I pursed my lips. “True. You're right. God, it's a hard habit to break, isn't it? I feel so guilty when I take time off …”
“Don't, Ella. Everyone needs to take time off. And I'm going to make sure you take it, by the way. You work too hard. If you keep that pace up, you're going to burn yourself out eventually.”
I rest my head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”
It felt so nice that I'd found a man who was already watching out for me; a man who would firmly tell me the things that, in my heart, I knew were true, but was still too weak to tell myself.
“I don't want to go home,” I said forlornly. “I wish I could stay with you.”
He gave me a sweet smile. “I wish you could, too.”
“I'm tired of New York.”
“Move to Boston, then,” he said.
I couldn't tell if he was serious, but I perked up like he was anyway. “You really think I should?”
“If you think you'd be happy here, sure. I could introduce you to the Brawler WAGs so you could make some connections for your work—”
“WAGs?” I asked.
“Wives and girlfriends. They're like a social and support club. Plus, they're all really good friends. They keep each other company when the men are out on the road.”
“Ooh.”
“Point is, those ladies are great, and more than a few of them are also hard-working professionals. I'm sure they'd help you out any way they can. I can start asking around, if you'd like.”
“Mm. Let's not rush into things too quickly now …” I said, biting my lip. But I'd be lying if I said the idea of starting new somewhere else didn't excite me.
We were nearing Logan Airport and airliners now hung low in the blue afternoon sky. As we drove closer and closer to my destination, an awful sense of loneliness began the inevitable slide down into my stomach.
Soon, I'd have to say goodbye to Ryan—and although we'd weathered our first storm together, now we'd have to weather a whole other storm separately: being apart from each other constantly. And at such an early stage of our relationship, too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared.
The closer we came to the airport, the harder I squeezed his hand.
And just like that, Ryan was parking the car and slinging my bags over his shoulder and walking me to the airport.
This is it …
***
Ryan stayed by my side through the baggage check-in process. Thanks to the impromptu meeting at the hockey rink, we didn't have much time to spare—my flight was leaving soon. But there was one last thing I wanted to do before we said goodbye.
“I better run to the bathroom before I get on that plane,” I told Ryan, thankful I'd worn a skirt today.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I told him to give me his hand. I made him open his fingers, then stuffed something into his palm, and made him squeeze his fingers tightly shut around it.
“Now don't peek at that until you're in your car,” I said, my heart racing with excitement.
“I know what this is, Ella,” he said, sounding dark and accusatory, but undeniably turned on.
I bit my lip. “I was just wearing them.”
“I know. I can feel your warmth.”
“And what do you think?”
“That's so hot,” he growled. “But I told you, I threw my collection away.”
“Start a new one. This time, they'll be just mine.”
He swallowed, loudly, and a thrill swept over me when I noticed the way his Adam's apple moved hungrily in his neck.
“Do you like that idea?” I asked him quietly.
“Yes,” he whispered. He pulled me near and kissed me, deep and passionately. My body pressed against his, and I could feel his hardness growing in his pants …
“Uh oh,” I whispered, sneaking a hand between his legs. “You're awfully excited.”
“I want you so bad,” he whispered, and he meant it, because his words sent a shiver down my spin, and terrible ideas began to fill my head: did we have enough time for a quickie? What if the two of us turned right around and rushed out to the parking garage for one last moment together? Thinking about riding Ryan in the passenger seat of his BMW, I could feel the stifling, window-fogging heat building between us … hell, who even cares if I missed my flight? I could just get another one.
But I shook my head, and sanity returned. I couldn't just throw everything aside. I had a schedule; I had to return to work.
“I need to catch that plane,” I told him sadly.
He clutched me tighter. “I'm so glad I met you, Ella.”
