by Penny Ward
Crashing into my bed after almost burning my skin in the shower, I silently sob into my pillow.
Why would I let it happen?
I wake up the next morning at almost noon and smell something cooking in the kitchen. I pull on a pair my robe and walk toward the intoxicating smell.
I see Rose, fully dressed, making French toast. She looks over at me and smiles one of her famous smiles.
“Looks like you had a rough night. Glad I decided to get up and cook some brunch,” she says.
I sigh. “You have no idea. Last night was one of the longest nights I had ever had in my life.”
“Did you meet your goal?”
“I made fifteen-hundred after James got his cut.”
“So why the long face? Still don’t like doing it? I told you, it’ll eventually grow on you but you don’t plan on doing it forever anyway, so you don’t have to deal with the assholes forever.”
“Nope, I don’t. I’m supposed to be doing something to do with English literature, not doing something strange for a piece of change, you know? Clapping my ass to get some cash. I’m just saying I really wanted to be doing more by now. It’s just that things have a way of not going how I want them to go.”
“Well, technically, you’re not doing anything all that strange. You’re just dancing to get on your feet. Not like you’re sleeping with the customers.”
I roll my eyes and look down at the floor. Rose stares at me for a while before her eyes get wide.
“You didn’t! Who was it? Who got you to break the code we had in place for one another? He had to be someone good if you went against it.”
I take a deep breath and look up at her. “It was Grayson. My stepbrother.”
“What?”
I nod.
“He was at the club?”
I nod again.
“Oh no,” Rose embraces in a wide hug and the tears start again.
“I didn’t mean to,” I blurt out.
“I thought you didn’t like him? But I’ve see him in all those magazines, I probably would’ve given him some myself, the man is gorgeous but, I mean, isn’t that kind of weird? Your Mom is married to his Dad!”
I roll my eyes at her.
“I just… I don’t know, I got caught up and now I’m beating myself up over it. I mean, he treated me like some piece of ass. We had sex… passionate sex… and then he just placed money on the table and left as if he does this all the time. Now that I think about it, he probably does it all the time. With all the money he has, he probably buys countless amount of women.”
“Wow! I would be pretty mad, too. That’s pretty bad.”
“He didn’t say anything. Just put the money down and left.”
“Oh…”
“I’m angrier at myself though. I know better. I knew I shouldn’t have done it but I did anyway. I let my hormones get the best of me and now I’m beating myself into next week about it.”
“We’re all entitled to make mistakes, Monica. No one is perfect. I make mistakes all the time and I know I will make even more. The point is that we learn from them and move on. That’s it. You can’t change what’s already happened but you can try not to let it happen again if you don’t want it to.”
“But I have to deal with this mistake! He’s my stepbrother!”
“Yeah… what are you going to do about that?”
“I don’t know! Holidays, anniversary parties, and any other thing our parents want to drag us along for, are going to be so awkward. I’m probably not even going to be able to look him in his face. And you know my Mom is like part bloodhound, she’s probably going to scope out that’s something wrong and I have have no idea what I’m going to say to her.”
“You could always just avoid him. Your parents’ parties are always so big that you could just sneak out. You do it all the time anyway. You’re just getting yourself worked up over nothing. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just take him in a corner, slap him, and get over it. Simple, right?”
“I guess you’re right. Not about the slapping thing because someone would see and then tell on us. And I really don’t want to have to explain why I felt the need to slap him.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it. After all, like I said, we all make mistakes and do things we aren’t proud of and if someone tells you different, they are lying. And I can imagine that conversation. Yeah, I slapped him because he had sex with me and paid me like I was some two bit hooker and didn’t even say thanks or nothing at all.”
I look at her and laugh.
“I guess you’re right but I’m definitely going to start putting in some more applications to get a regular job. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with being a stripper. It’s just starting to be not worth it anymore.”
“You’re a top money maker, I don’t know why you’re in a rush. If you didn’t have so many bills, you could live comfortably. And you’ll struggle to find an entrance job that pays as well as you get now.”
“I just don’t feel as comfortable in my skin as you all do. My breasts are smaller than most of yours and I have just enough ass to make it clap. It’s not like I’m like those chicks in the pornos, and I’m not even close to Ariel’s ass. That girl has ass and titties for days! I’m jealous. And most of those girls can do wonders on the pole.”
“You are wonderful. You’re beautiful and sexy. That’s why you earn so much. That’s why the guys like you. You are the sexy girl next door. The girl they really want. Why do you think you get the most lap dances? Because you provide a fantasy that the rest of us can’t provide. Plus, you look all innocent and the rest of us look like we really do something strange for a piece of change.”
“Well, either way, I just want a job where I can go in and not have to take off my clothes for money. It’s not for me. Not saying that anything’s wrong with it, though. I just wish I really could find a job in my field.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “The life isn’t for everybody. I know I’m not leaving it anytime soon. We make people happy, Monica. Those men are dealing with stress in their lives and they get to escape when they are with us. We make them happier. We can change lives by doing what we do.”
“You have a great outlook on what we do,” I smile.
“You know that I also plan on starting my own strip club one day so this will be a permanent lifestyle for me. The money is a little too good for me to give up.”
“You’re right about that - the lifestyle part. How far away do you think you are from starting your own club?”
“I think I’m about a good two years off from starting my own club. I can’t wait either, I already have it pictured in my head. But do you want some French toast? I made enough for the both of us.”
“Yeah, sure, I could use a pick me up. Is it stuffed?”
“Is there any other way to eat it?”
“Not unless you’re a weirdo.”
We look at each other and laugh.
It is good to have a friend like Rose, especially when I am feeling down.
She can always make me feel better about myself, no matter what was going on. She is the big sister I never had and I really appreciated it.
She places the French toast on the plate and grabs the syrup out of the refrigerator. I pour it all over my toast and take a bite.
“Oh, my goodness, this is so good!”
“I know! My skills are getting up there.”
“You’re learning to do a little something,” I say as I laugh.
As I reach into the fridge for the orange juice, something occurs to me.
“No!” I exclaim.
“What’s wrong?”
“The anniversary party is next month!”
“Well, you better get your slapping hand ready.”
“No! This is not good.”
“I thought you weren’t going anyway? I thought you didn’t like all that sort of snobbery?”
“Mom made me promise to go. And I’ve missed the last three parties she h
as held.”
Mom and her new husband’s one-year anniversary is next month and there is no way I can get out of it.
Soon, I am going to be forced to be in a room with that pig, Grayson and he has the upper hand on me.
“I have to find a way to avoid him for the entire party or I am sure I am going to ruin my Mom’s anniversary party with a very loud outburst.”
Chapter 5
One month later…
I reluctantly step out of the car and hand my keys to the valet.
It is my Mom and Stepdad’s wedding anniversary and it is mandatory that I show up.
I tried hard to think of an excuse not to come but my Mom wasn’t going to hear it, so here I am.
I just know I am going to run into Grayson and I really don’t want to see him after what happened at the club. I walk up the steps to the mansion and, as always, the place is immaculately decorated.
There are black and white balloons everywhere along with streamers and a big banner that says ‘Happy Anniversary’. There are tables in the middle of the room with beautiful flower arrangements on them and servers dressed in bow ties and black and white servers’ outfits. They are walking around, carrying platters with food and champagne on them. The place is already crowded so I know that if Grayson did show up, I could easily avoid him.
Or so I hope.
I see my Mom and Stepdad at the long table in the front and go up to greet them. My Mom is wearing a beautiful red dress with gold trimming and a deep plunging neckline. My Stepdad, George, is in a tailored tuxedo as usual and he actually looks handsome. He has actual smile lines and I can tell that being with my Mom has softened him up a little because, in the beginning, he seemed a little hard and off putting. I wasn’t very fond of him but finally, he is starting to grow on me.
“Hi Mom. Hi George,” I say as I hug each one of them.
“Monica! So glad that you decided to come,” says my Mom.
I roll my eyes because she knew she didn’t give me much of a choice.
“Well, you know I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world, Mom. This is an important day for you,” I sigh.
“Hello Monica, how have you been?” asks George as he sips from his champagne glass.
“I’ve been okay,” I reply.
“Please have a seat beside me,” my Mom says as she motions to the chair beside her.
I take the seat next to her and motion for one of the servers to bring me a wine glass.
I hate that my Mom and Stepdad flaunt their money like this when they can easily put it to good us. I gulp down my drink, place it on the table, and look out into the crowd.
I can’t see him and that’s good.
And then…
Damn.
There he is.
I notice Grayson walking toward the table and immediately my stomach drops to the floor.
I knew he was going to be here but I really didn’t expect to see him this soon in the party. I was hoping to be a few glasses of wine in but it looks like he finally decided to show up on time for something, which really ruined my plans.
“Uh, Mom, I’ll be right back. I have to go handle something really quick,” I say as I stand to walk away.
“Okay, sweetheart, just hurry back, they are about to start serving the meal pretty soon and you don’t want to miss out. I had them make one of your favorites,” she says as she takes another sip from her glass.
I nod my head and walk toward a quiet corner to get some air.
Seeing Grayson right there in front of my face after our last encounter was really bothering me.
I want to slap him. What a pig. If he dares tell anyone about our encounter, I won’t slap him.
I’ll punch him.
And I’ll ruin that perfect nose of his.
I feel some eyes on me and I turn around to see Grayson standing behind me, looking as handsome as ever, but all I can think to do is slap him clear across his face.
This guy has a lot of nerve.
“Hi,” he says arrogantly as he takes a sip from his wine glass.
“Don’t ‘hi’ me. You have a lot of nerve, you know that. You come over here to me like there is nothing wrong!” I muffle my anger so that we don’t draw attention.
A confused expression crosses his face then it’s quickly replaced with anger.
“What’s your problem? I didn’t do anything wrong to you.”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what my problem is, Grayson.”
“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. I thought that we ended on pretty good terms the last time we saw each other.”
Oh no.
Maybe he doesn’t remember?
Then I will look like a fool.
He leans close to my ear. “Well, I had a good time, didn’t you? I know you did from the way your body responded to me. You were so wet. I can remember it like it was yesterday.”
Damn.
He does remember.
I look at him as if he had slapped me.
“No, I didn’t have a good time! You treated me like a piece of meat. You made me feel used and worthless.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t recall doing anything that would make you feel that way.”
“Exactly, because you’re an arrogant, spoiled, insensitive jerk who thinks the world owes him something.”
“I don’t think that the world owes me anything. I am the world. You know how many would want to be me? Want my life? I’m golden.”
I look at him and shake my head. The more he talks, the less attractive he seems. “Like I said, you’re just another jerk.”
“Maybe, but last time I checked, this jerk made you feel really good, didn’t he? You weren’t complaining when I was hitting your spot or sucking on your soft nipples.”
I open my mouth to say something but then I quickly shut it back.
“What’s the matter, Monica? Cat got your tongue?”
“No, more like I’m trying to not lose control here at our parents’ party. I’m holding onto what little self-control I do have because if I don’t, you will be getting slapped and everyone will be looking over at us.”
Turning away from him, I walk into the house and close the lounge room door behind me.
Finally, a place where I get some quiet.
But then the door opens.
Grayson sways into the room and shuts the door behind him. Before I know it, he is standing next to me.
With my arms folded across my chest, I can feel my heart pounding.
Grayson stares at me and then pulls me close to him.
“Don’t do this, Grayson,” I whisper as I look up to him. “Not here.”
He leans forward and his lips land on mine, kissing me passionately. I can feel my anger melting away. I pull away from him and stare in his eyes. There’s a hint of humor in them and I want to punch him in his jaw. I look to see if anyone saw us in the room and then I look back at him.
“What are you doing? You can’t be kissing me at our parents’ party. People will talk.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just getting what I want.”
“Just like a prick. Stay away from me, Grayson, and I mean it.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
I look at him and roll my eyes. “Like I said, just stay away from me. I’m not a prize to be won and I don’t like my emotions being messed with. We will never be more than what we already are to one another.”
I turn to start to walk away from him but he reaches out and grabs my arm.
“Don’t try to act like I don’t mean anything to you, Monica, and that that kiss didn’t rock your world just now.”
“You do mean something to me. You’re my stepbrother, that’s it! I have to respect you because of our parents but I don’t have to like you and I’m pretty sure that I won’t. I don’t even like your type. So even if I was even remotely interested in you, I wouldn’t allow it to happen because all of you rich gu
ys are the same.”
He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. “Is that how you really feel?”
“Yes, it is, now leave me alone.”
“Are you sure you want me to do that?”
“Yes, I am.”
He looks at me and lets my arm go.
I look at him one final time, then I storm off toward the kitchen.
I need to be alone.
I peek my head inside, seeing that no one is in there and I walk to the back corner and sit in one of the chairs.
Placing my head in my hands, I think about my encounter with Grayson.
I am supposed to be mad at him.
Angry at him for making him make me feel cheap but the kiss made all of my feelings melt away.
Someone clears their throat, and I look up to explain why I’m in the kitchen but see no one other than Grayson standing there, holding a champagne glass.
“I don’t think I can leave you alone.”
Chapter 6
Grayson stands in front of me, staring at every piece of my body, waiting for me to respond to his demands.
“So I can add not being able to understand English to my list of things about you,” I say.
“I understand it just fine. I know you really don’t want me to leave you alone and I don’t want to leave you alone,” he says as he places his wine glass down on the kitchen bench.
Even being alone with him in this room makes my heart race.
I raise my eyebrow. “Oh really? And how do you know that I don’t want you to leave me alone?”
“Because I just know. Besides, your body language is saying you want me to take you in my arms and rock your world all over again.”
“Well, I think your instincts are a little off,” I say as I get up from the chair and begin to walk away.
He grabs my arm once again and pulls me into him.
As he holds me, he stares into my eyes. I’m sure he can feel my heart beat against his chest.
He leans in again and kisses me passionately on the lips.
I fight hard to resist him… but I can’t. I don’t know how.
