“Promise not to drop me?” The joke sounded more like a plea.
“I’d never drop you, Cait.” Unable to resist, he reached out and stroked her cheek with the flat of his knuckle. “You trust me, don’t you?” Until two years ago, he’d never questioned her trust. But then he’d crossed a line, and now he wasn’t so sure.
“I trust you, Mac.” Her words were simple, spoken without restraint.
A desire to hold her, to seal that trust with a kiss, bloomed inside of him. Instead, he squashed the temptation, fearing that very action might destroy the faith she’d placed in him. He turned, resolving to maintain his distance, at least emotionally, and started to climb.
As he methodically placed his hands and feet, too many thoughts ran through his mind. He had trouble sorting them all. First and foremost was their safety, and that meant reaching the summit. At some point, he’d have to help Caitlin over the ledge beyond the chimney. To do that, he needed to control his feelings a lot better than he’d been doing. Every time Caitlin was near him, it took all his willpower to keep from pulling her close and kissing her.
For the last two years, he thought he’d permanently banished those devilish memories, but seeing her, being so close to her again, opened a floodgate of suppressed emotions and rogue thoughts. Their relationship had always been platonic. Even though they’d fought like siblings, underlying their squabbles was an unspoken courtesy and respect. Growing up, they had joked, teased each other with regular familiarity, and had found they could talk about anything.
Due to their age difference, they hadn’t traveled in the same social circles in school, but that didn’t stop Cait from teasing him for acting goofy over some girl. In fact, she had regularly showed her disapproval of his dates, as though they were never good enough for him.
His life changed after college, and his career kept him busy enough he was never in one place very long. The inherent dangers of the job made long-term relationships difficult. He wouldn’t put a wife or child in a position where they’d feel abandoned, as he had when his parents died.
Besides, Cait wasn’t a relationship, she was—different. Mac had often tried to peg her, but never quite figured out where she fit in his life. She could be extremely smart when she wanted, but consistency was another matter. Logical and levelheaded one time, emotional the next. Then, there was her second sight.
His grandmother had helped Caitlin discover her gift. Sometimes Caitlin would tell him about her visions. When they came true, it surprised her as much as anyone. Mostly she claimed she could predict actions based on observations and by watching patterns people exhibited in their behavior. According to her, there was nothing supernatural about her gift. That unassuming attitude was also Grandma Mac’s influence.
He looked over his outstretched arm and checked Caitlin’s progress. She followed a few feet below, but was keeping up. She wasn’t letting her bad ankle slow her. That was another thing about her—she was one tough nut.
Even when she was younger and tagged along on their adventures, he’d never worried about exploring certain places because she’d wimp out on him. If they’d needed to check out a particular area where it required a smaller, slimmer person to fit in, she volunteered. If his grandmother or her father had known about some of the risks they’d taken, they never would’ve allowed her to leave the house. She swore him and his friends to secrecy, lest she be found out. He smiled to himself. Sean Malone and Grandma would have been right to keep her from tagging along. He was glad nothing had ever happened to her during those escapades.
Here they were, on another adventure. It was almost like old times, except this time they were in deep trouble. He needed to keep a clear head. Otherwise, they might not leave this forest alive. He reached the next landing and waited for her to catch up.
“Let’s rest for a moment and plan our approach to the top,” he said as she joined him.
“Okay,” she replied. “Can you pass over the water?”
He unsnapped the straw. “How’s the ankle?” Mac asked, nodding toward her leg.
“Not too bad. I’m able to put more weight on it than before. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” She averted her eyes as she spoke.
Mac wasn’t sure how he knew, but he recognized that Caitlin was downplaying her injuries. He wished they could take it more slowly or that they could just wait it out, but if they were going to get out of this forest alive, then he had to let her push through the discomfort. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right, but it was survival. He gave her an encouraging smile. “That’s the Cait I know best.”
Chapter Twelve
Caitlin stared at Mac’s smile. For a moment, she thought she saw desire flare in his eyes. Then it was gone. Instead of a disappointing sting, she felt a soothing comfort settle inside her. The Mac who’d been her best friend and confidant was back. His words of praise proved that they were back. Maybe it wasn’t the way she wanted them to be, but she valued his friendship more than anything else. She’d take that friendship any way she could get it. Even if it meant never having his heart.
“Let’s get this last bit over with, shall we?” Mac secured his pack, turned and stretched for the first handhold.
Unable to help herself, Caitlin watched him climb, his cargo pants tightening over muscular thighs. The sheer power and grace of his body was beautiful. If they hadn’t been running for their lives, she could’ve watched him all day long.
Once he reached a stable ledge, she started up after him. Her ribs screamed in protest as she stretched for handholds. This was different from climbing over the boulders. Earlier, she’d mostly needed the strength in her legs, which put pressure on her ankle. Now she needed shoulder muscles and core, which put a strain across her ribs.
She climbed the few feet to where he waited and looked up at him. The sweat-tipped ends of his hair curled around his ear and his shirt clung to his broad chest and back. Mac was toned and fit. With the advent of the dawn light, she spied the sprinkling of hair on his muscular arms, emphasizing his very maleness. He wasn’t breathing heavily, but she could tell the climb was affecting him by the way he stretched and rolled his shoulders.
“You’re doing great.” He glanced up and she followed his gaze. The top of the chimney was visible at another twelve, maybe fourteen feet. He pointed to the next ledge. “Think you can make that one?”
She leaned against the cliff face and studied the rock formation. Her gaze traveled from the top of the ledge to where Mac pointed, then downward to the boulder field they’d spent the last few hours climbing. She traced their route through the air with her index finger before glancing back at Mac. “We’ve already come this far. I’m not spending another night on this mountain. We should reach the summit before sunrise.”
The top was only a few more feet above them, but she was weary to the bone. The nightlong journey had caught up with her, and she honestly couldn’t fathom what had kept her upright for this long. She had no idea how she’d endure the final part of the climb, but she was willing to try.
Mac nodded toward the path of their ascent. “Climbing over that ledge won't be easy. You should rest a while longer before we start again. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”
The wind picked up and cooled her sweaty face. An acrid smell of burning pine rode the breeze, making her realize what had kept her moving through the long night. Fear. Fear of failing again. Fear that Mac would witness her failure. She couldn’t avoid looking at her own face every morning, but she didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he recognized all her flaws.
“I’ll rest when we get to the top.” She nodded upward. “We should keep moving.” The sooner they started down the other side, the sooner they’d be rescued, the sooner this ordeal would finally be over.
She didn’t know what would come next. Everything that had happened in the last eighteen hours culminated in this moment. The outcome was up to her, and she had to see it through. Later, she’d reasse
ss the decisions that led to this point, figure out what she could have done differently. For now, she must finish what she’d started. Mac was counting on her and she refused to let him down.
She faced the rock and steadied her breathing. Focus on the climb. Only the climb. Nothing else mattered.
“Are you sure you don’t want to rest a while longer?” Mac looked back across the lake. “We’re safe for the moment.”
She was never less sure of anything. Damn her ankle. Damn the fire. Since returning home to rethink past mistakes, everything continued to go to hell. She longed for the old days. Fun days. When she and Mac got along. Enjoyed each other’s company. Before he’d made love to her and awakened a passion that sent her world crashing around her feet.
Now, she had to accept what they’d become. Something far worse than strangers. Friends, who didn’t know how to be friends any longer and were too afraid to become something else. Something more.
Every time his arm brushed against her, every breath that happened to caress her cheek, sent desire screaming through her body. A longing she couldn’t satisfy forced her to endure the intimate tug-of-war in tortured silence. If they wanted to make it out alive, she had to put a lid on those emotions. Mac was her personal Smokey the Bear who had dropped from the sky to rescue her. He didn’t need the distraction. And she needed to focus, because one wrong move would send her tumbling down the rocks. Mac had risked his life for her. She wasn’t about to screw up now.
She felt the weight of Mac’s gaze upon her as he waited for her answer, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. “Let’s get up there.” Now wasn’t the time to let her guard down.
An uncomfortable silence hung between them. Then he spoke. “I’ll go first and help you through the rough spots.”
Deliberate and steady, she used the same handholds and footholds as Mac. When he found a stable position, he reached down and grabbed her outstretched hand. Gritty dirt on her hand chafed against his palm. There were always barriers between them. Even in this desperate moment, she couldn’t let go of the thought that so many things kept them apart.
The tendons in his arm tightened as he held her full weight while she leveraged herself to the next hold. Only a few more feet above them lay the summit, but the climb seemed to stretch to infinity. With one mighty pull, Mac drew her up beside him onto a narrow ledge. Pain ripped through her ribs. She turned her face away, wincing with each breath, until the pain subsided.
Mac’s presence dominated the confined space. His heat, his scent, both raw and untamed like the man himself, made the wildfire diminish in contrast. Unable to resist, she breathed him in, feeding her unquenchable addiction. She longed to rest her cheek against his powerful chest. Wished for her to exhaustion disappear, if only for a moment. Instead, she stood her ground, careful not to touch him more than necessary as they prepared to ascend to the final ledge.
A large outcropping of rock loomed in their path. There was no way around it. The only way to the summit was to climb straight up. They had no choice. The foolhardiness of her actions had brought them to this point. With the fire raging below, they couldn’t go back down. They could only continue until they were over the top.
“I’m sorry I got you into this.”
“Me, too.” He didn’t look at her. Sidling around her, he kept an arm on her waist as he maneuvered the narrow ledge. His touch sent shivers through her body. “I’d much rather be home watching the Oregon Ducks’ first home game.”
“You hate football.”
“I do not!” He scooted her to the edge, but kept a tight hold to steady her. “I like to watch it. I just don’t like playing it.”
Caitlin’s heart raced while Mac braced her against the cliff face. Trying to keep her pulse steady, she focused on his comment. “I didn’t know that about you.”
His hand tightened on her waist. “You don’t know everything about me, Cait. Just like I don’t know everything about you.”
Her nerves jumped under the electricity arcing between their bodies. She looked into his face. “I can see that, now,” she whispered.
He froze at her admission. His gaze turned her legs to putty. Had he not been holding her, she might have slipped over the edge. Her focus centered on his throat. He swallowed. Her gaze followed the motion, and then traveled up to his mouth. Would he—?
Mac cleared his throat. “I’ll go up first.” He released her before he inched toward the ledge. “Are you okay?”
She nodded even though he’d turned his back and couldn’t see her. “I’m fine.” Liar. Much to her dismay, lying to Mac was becoming too automatic. She had to do better than that.
“Okay. Let’s get this last part over with.” Edging his fingers into cracks in the rock, he tested his next hold. Apparently satisfied it would support his weight, he slowly pulled his body into a chin-up. He reached for the next hold, stretching to his full body length.
Caitlin watched in awe at the muscles bunching in his arms and neck. With one more hold, he swung his leg onto the top ledge. Loose rocks rained around her and clattered down the rocky mountainside. She didn’t realize her mouth was open until dust coated her tongue. Coughing and spitting, she tried to rid the grit from her throat.
“Sorry about that,” Mac shouted down. “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay,” she sputtered. “Nothing a nice cold beer won’t cure.”
****
Mac pulled himself over the ledge and onto the top of the cliff.
Finally.
He quickly surveyed the area. The ledge was wide and flat. Twenty yards beyond the ledge, the summit rose gently before sloping down the other side. Now all he had to do was haul Caitlin up beside him. He slid off the backpack and tossed it on the ground. Getting down on his stomach, he peered over the ledge.
She stood where he’d left her, more than ten feet below. “You’ve got to climb the first few feet on your own,” he shouted. “Can you do that?”
“Do I have a choice?” She gave a short laugh.
“You could stay there while I return to headquarters and get a rope.”
“That’s not an option.” The words showed spunk, but her laugh was weak.
He grinned. “I thought not.”
“Okay.” She blew out a breath. “I’m coming up.”
“Use the same handholds I did.” He pointed to the crevices along the rocks. “You only need to climb up about three more feet then give me your hand. I’ll pull you the rest of the way.”
Caitlin nodded and started the climb. He could see her arms quiver under the strain of her tenuous finger holds. She looked exhausted. He had no right to push her as he had, but if he hadn’t, both of them would be dead. Trouble was, they still had a lengthy hike to reach a location where he could call for the helicopter. Only a little longer, he thought. Once they were safe, she could rest.
He didn’t want to think about what would happen after he got her out of this wilderness. The dire situation had kept his mind occupied, focused on survival. Once the danger passed, he wasn’t sure if he could resist this hunger that clawed through him like a wild bear. A hunger that only Caitlin could appease. She’d always held a special place in his heart, but he was forced to admit his feelings had changed, grown stronger. He wasn’t sure he was ready to examine the extent of those feelings.
Mac watched her progress. Cautious and methodical. She didn’t rush her moves. The way she struggled to place her foot made him think she must be experiencing more pain than she’d let on. Once she was safely on top, he’d make her take off her boot so he could look at that ankle.
As she rose higher against the cliff, he held his breath. She was almost there. He extended both his arms. “Reach with your hand,” he shouted.
Caitlin stretched for a crease in the rock he’d used and wedged the toe of her boot in the hold. Her arms trembled as she slowly drew herself up. She reached for one of his hands, but their fingers barely touched. He tried to stretch toward her, except he couldn’t lower him
self any further without being in danger of slipping over the side and sending them both tumbling back down the boulders.
“A little farther,” he urged.
She wiggled her fingers, searching for his. So close. Just another inch…
“Come on, Cait, you can do it,” Mac told her with a determined edge in his voice. Caitlin was a lot of things. Bewitching, maddening, sexy as hell, but she wasn’t a quitter. If they got out of this…
With a surge, her fingers hooked into his. Praying his grip would hold, Mac squeezed her fingers and tugged hard.
Caitlin let go of the rock.
With only his fingers wrapped around hers, she dangled in the air. His hold was all that kept her from tumbling to her death on the rocks below.
Their gazes collided. Locked. The trust in her eyes was nearly his undoing.
“Don’t look down.” His voice rasped as his heart hammered in his chest. “I’ve got you.”
“I know.”
Long seconds ticked by.
Finally, she grabbed for his other hand. It connected with a resounding smack. Mac locked his fingers onto her wrist, then adjusted his grasp on her other hand. “On the count of three…”
He started a gentle pendulum motion. “One. Two. Three.” He swung Caitlin to the side where she hooked her leg on the ledge. She grunted, then moaned, but he didn’t let go until she’d scrambled over the ledge.
Mac pushed to his feet and hauled her up in his arms. She collapsed against his chest. His arms tightened around her, and he tucked her head under his chin. She clung to him as his breathing slowed.
“That’s my little mountain goat.” He hugged her close. “Great job.” It took him a moment to realize the roar in his ears was the thunder of his own heart. He could’ve lost her. The thought made him squeeze his eyes shut and savor the feel of her body against his. Safe. Warm. Alive.
When he opened his eyes, the sky had lightened into a deep red glow. Billows of smoke rolled to the south. North and west of where he and Caitlin stood, the Blue Mountain range stretched out in majestic grandeur. Caitlin’s sweat-drenched hair smelled like a spring mountain breeze. Suddenly, he didn’t feel as though they were racing away from a wildfire, but were igniting a flame of their own. Here, at the very top of the world, they were the only two people on earth. Everything was sharper, more focused.
Proving Ground Page 14
