by T V Hartwell
Taken aback and completely caught by surprise, Amanda didn’t say anything initially. She just listened in stunned silence as her mother ranted.
“…sleeping with his friend Kirby while carrying on a relationship with you. He tried to say that had nothing to do with his decision, and then he said something about doing what Rick and I wanted him to do.”
That caught Amanda’s attention. “What you and Dad wanted? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I have no idea. I told him he was out of his mind. He might’ve even been a little drunk or stoned for all I know.”
Jake…stoned? Amanda frowned at the notion. Jake drank, but he hadn’t done drugs for as long as she had known him. However, this wasn’t the time to challenge her mother over such triviality as Camilla continued her train of thought on the other end of the line.
“I mean, think about it. Why would he call me? Why does he need to tell me this? Did he think I would help him out or be sympathetic? That I would try to help facilitate a reunion between you two or something? How stupid could he be?”
“But why would he think that you and Dad wanted him to break up with me? How weird,” Amanda said aloud contemplatively.
“I literally have no idea what he’s talking about. We always treated him with warmth, kindness, and generosity, unlike how that goody-two-shoes mother of his treated you. We were supportive of you two getting married from the start…the whole time. We nearly spent more than two million dollars on your wedding, for Christ’s sake.”
“This is so weird. I don’t understand why he called you. What did he expect you to say or do?”
“Exactly! That’s my point.”
“So did he say anything about why he regretted breaking up with me?”
“Oh! Yes! He’s jealous of you and Adam. That’s basically what it boils down to. He sees how happy you are and how well you’re doing and wants back in on the action. I guess he misses the limelight. Who knows? He sees that he had a good thing in the palm of his hands and then tossed it aside. Now he wants it back. No way. I don’t think so, pal.”
Amanda sighed in frustration. She had moved on and was now fully engaged in her business partnership with Lucy and excited for their soon-to-be-launched handbag line. On top of that, her romance with Adam was intensifying. She was slowly but surely beginning to see herself with him long-term, no longer viewing Adam as simply the Hollywood playboy with whom she was having a sordid affair. She now saw herself as his girlfriend and had begun to reimagine their relationship as that of husband and wife potentially and a Hollywood power couple in the making. But she found Jake’s overture to her mother confusing, frustrating, and intriguing all at once. She had worked so hard to suppress any remnants of feeling or attachment to Jake, but this news made her feel a certain level of glee.
“So he misses me, huh? Good. He should,” Amanda said.
“So he hasn’t tried calling you yet?”
“No. Not at all.”
“If he does—”
“If he does,” Amanda quickly said over her mother, “I’ll tell him the same thing I’ve told him before. We’re over. Done. End of story.”
“You never told him about the baby, did you?”
“No. Of course not,” Amanda said as if that were obvious.
“Okay, just asking.”
“And I never intend to. There’s absolutely no reason for him to know about that at this point. How would I tell him that? Can you imagine the conversation? ‘No, Jake I don’t want to get back together with you. And…oh…by the way, I was pregnant with your baby but I miscarried. Sorry. Just thought you’d want to know that. Now fuck off.’”
On the verge of tears, Amanda’s voice cracked when she said the last few sentences. She was surprised at her emotion. Imagining telling Jake that the baby they’d so frequently talked about and dreamed of having together died before birth caused the pain of it all to resurface. Amanda didn’t want her mother to detect her momentary sadness, so she acted interrupted.
“Oh…Mom, my agent’s here. He just walked in the door.” He hadn’t.
“Agent?”
“I’m looking at an apartment in the East Village right now.”
“Oh. Have you found something you like?”
“I think so. Okay, gotta go, Mom. I’ll call you back later to fill you in. Bye now,” Amanda said hurriedly before Camilla could get in another word edgewise.
After she ended the call, Amanda’s eyes watered as she stood there alone in the empty space. She walked over to the large windows that overlooked a picturesque park across the street and noticed children playing as their mothers stood around watching and chatting among themselves. For a moment, Amanda felt the urge to be there with the other young mothers. That’s what she had pictured herself doing after marrying Jake. Having his babies and being a doting mother to their children. But then she had to look away to force herself to disengage from that fantasy.
“It’s too late, Jake. It’s too late,” Amanda said as she wiped away tears from her eyes and resumed her inspection of the apartment.
Chapter Nineteen
“Law offices, this is Patti.”
“Hey, Patti. Jake.”
“Hey, how are you this morning?”
“To be perfectly honest, not well. I feel shitty, actually.”
“Uh-oh. What’s up?”
Jake’s voice was heavy and distressed. “It’s a long, sordid story. I really can’t go into any details, but it’s kind of a personal family matter.”
“Oh no. Is everything okay?”
“No, not really. I won’t be coming into the office today.”
“Oh my goodness, Jake. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, but thanks for asking.”
“What do you want me to tell people?”
“I need to accompany my dad somewhere today, so if anyone really needs to know, just tell them that I needed to take the day off due to an urgent family matter.”
“Okay. I’m so sorry. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
“Thanks, Patti. I’ll be all right. I should be back in the office tomorrow.”
Jake actually wanted to head into the office that morning and confront Mike right away about the story he’d sold him about Amanda’s alleged mental illness. However, Tom had convinced Jake to hold off until they’d taken the paternity test later that day. Jake was now certain that the mental illness story was nothing more than a tall tale devised to cover up the truth. It had worked, but Jake couldn’t help but to feel a bit foolish and gullible. At the same time, however, he felt deep resentment and anger toward Mike. He had known Mike since he was a child, and other than his own father, Mike was his closest mentor and professional advisor. How Mike could participate in a scheme to cover up the truth and lie to Jake’s face was something neither Jake nor Tom could comprehend.
A few hours later, Tom arrived to pick up Jake. He called Jake on his cell to let him know that he was waiting downstairs in the car. Tom had secured a time for them to do DNA testing at a private lab.
Jake made it outside and hopped into the waiting car without saying anything at first. Although he had spoken to Tom earlier that morning on the phone, it felt awkward—an awkwardness Jake had never felt before around the only man he had ever called Dad. He had a hard time believing that anyone other than Tom could be his father, but in light of his mother’s admission, Jake couldn’t ignore the possibility that might be the case. Given the extreme measures Jamie had taken to keep the affair a secret for so long, Jake tried to mentally prepare himself for the worst.
“How are you feeling?” Tom finally asked as he drove them toward the freeway.
Deep in thought, Jake hesitated at first. “All right…I guess. I didn’t get any sleep last night.”
There was a momentary silence between them. Jake looked over at Tom but quickly looked away when it appeared that Tom was about to look back at him. Jake felt sad and embarrassed for his dad. He almost aske
d him how he was feeling, but Jake already knew and thought it would be stupid to ask. How would any husband feel after suddenly learning that his wife had had an affair and that his firstborn might belong to another man?
Jake decided to ask a more casual question. “So where’s this lab?”
“Santa Monica.”
“How’d you find it?”
“Google. It’s the first one I found that could take us today and provide lab results within twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”
“Really? That quick? I thought it would take longer than that.”
“Yeah, they’re pretty quick.”
Jake was relieved it wouldn’t be any quicker. God forbid he’d be told right then and there, shortly after taking the tests, that Tom wasn’t his biological father. What would he say to Tom? What would Tom say to him? How would he feel in that moment? Was he truly prepared to hear that Tom wasn’t his father? Jake looked over at Tom again. Tears filled his eyes as he viewed Tom’s profile. He looked battered and broken. A handsome man, Tom normally appeared relatively youthful, spry, and athletic for his age while maintaining a distinctively patrician bearing that was understated, subtle, and dignified. Jake took pride in being Tom Doyle’s son. He not only had learned to model Tom’s behavior and way of being but also idolized him—playing football at the same prep school, attending Stanford for college and law school, beginning his career at a white-shoe law firm, becoming engaged at a relatively early age, all things Tom had done before him.
Jake became overcome with emotion. He felt pain for Tom. He felt pain about the whole situation. Although Jake fought to keep the tears from falling, the heaviness of his voice revealed the depth of his emotion and feeling.
“Dad, I’m so sorry this has happened.”
“Sorry? You don’t need to apologize. This is not your fault, Jake.”
“But you don’t deserve this, and I feel really bad.”
Tom reached over and patted Jake on the knee with his right hand to comfort him. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be all right, Jake.”
“I want you to know, no matter what the test results say, in my mind, you will always be my father. You are my father, dammit! And I will never see it any other way. Period. I couldn’t have asked for a better dad. You taught me everything I know. Everything! Starting with the basics like how to tie my shoes, how to ride a bike, how to throw a ball and how to play every other sport, how to make friends, and then, as I got older, how to be a lawyer, how to manage relationships. You taught me the importance of building trust and loyalty in relationships. I’m probably not as good at it as you are—in fact, I know I’m not—but I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without your guidance. Whatever goodness and decency I have in me is because of you. You can never be replaced. I really don’t give a damn what the lab results might say. I don’t even think we need to do the paternity test, because in my mind it won’t change anything about our relationship.”
Tom appeared emotional and waited a few moments, seemingly to hold himself together. “Thank you, son. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I think when I suggested last night that we do this as soon as possible, it was more to rule out that anyone else was your father other than me. I wanted you to have peace of mind. But for what it’s worth, it’s not important for me to do the paternity test either. You’re my son. End of story.”
“I’m just so angry at Mom and angry at myself for not seeing right through this…this whole lie about Amanda being sick and all. It makes sense now. Things never really added up. There were never any signs that she had a split personality, but Rick and Mike came across so sincere and made the situation seem so dire and urgent.”
“You can’t blame yourself for this. You did what you thought was right.”
“But then I started questioning things after I noticed Amanda dating Adam.”
“That’s the producer you told me about?”
“Right. Rick was even willing to pay me more than five million to make sure I stayed away from her after I’d started to question why they hadn’t intervened to stop her from dating Adam.”
“Well, now you know why. He didn’t want you snooping around for information.”
“I can’t believe that Amanda and I might be siblings, Dad. I can’t get over that. I mean… how fucking crazy is that? We’d been sleeping together throughout most of our relationship. And then to find out that she was pregnant. Jesus Christ.”
“So you didn’t know anything about that before you broke up with her?”
“Not at all. I had no idea. All I remember is that right after I had gotten back from Vegas for my bachelor party, she had become a little sick and was throwing up. We thought it might be the flu, but I guess that must’ve been the early onset of morning sickness instead.”
“That’s probably right.”
“You know, I hadn’t yet gotten around to telling you this, but I’d been thinking about trying to get back together with her.”
“With Amanda?” Tom asked skeptically.
“Yeah. That’s why I’d been trying to get ahold of Rick here recently—to tell him that I had a change of heart about the whole situation.”
“How do you feel about getting back together with her now?”
“Well…obviously conflicted. I can’t marry my sister. Shit!” Jake said as he ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head in bewilderment. “The thought of Amanda as my sister makes me nauseated. I really can’t believe that it’s true. And I can’t fucking believe Mom allowed this to happen and for so long. How could she do this to me? Do this to you?”
Tom’s jaw tightened as he looked straight ahead, his eyes focused on the road. He didn’t seem to want to discuss his wife and her behavior. He remained silent as Jake continued to talk.
“I can’t even fathom what Amanda’s reaction would be if she knew we might be half siblings.”
“Well, finding out whether she is or not is probably a good enough reason to proceed with the DNA test.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s right. I’m actually more interested in knowing that than I am in knowing whether or not I’m Rick Climent’s son.”
“Jake, you’re my son,” Tom said as he reached to grab and hold Jake by the hand as he continued to drive down the freeway toward Santa Monica.
Chapter Twenty
Jake headed to the gym after Tom had dropped him off following their appointment. Working out would be a good stress reliever, he concluded, and it was something he did religiously anyway. Since he wasn’t returning to the office until the following day, he could get to the gym earlier than he normally would and beat the after-work crowd.
“Damn,” Jake said to himself when he walked through the gym doors and saw all of the people. It was fuller than he’d anticipated.
The girl working the front desk recognized Jake and greeted him cheerily. “Hey, Jake!”
“Hey, Monica,” Jake said, returning her smile.
“You’re awfully early, aren’t you? We don’t typically see you here until, like…seven or after seven, right?”
“Yeah, I took the day off, so I thought I’d get my workout done a little early today, but I can’t believe how many frickin’ people are here. Don’t these people have jobs? Jeez.”
Monica chuckled. “It’s always busy here. This is actually pretty light. So are you meeting up with Kirby?”
Jake looked at her, puzzled. “Meeting up with Kirby?”
“Yeah, to work out. He just arrived, too, like, five minutes before you did. You guys still work out together, don’t you?”
“No. Actually we don’t anymore. I didn’t know he was here, but thanks for the heads-up,” Jake said as he proceeded through the turnstile with a forced smile to conceal the sudden unease and awkwardness he felt. He hadn’t expected to see Kirby so soon after their big brawl. At some point, Jake had intended to apologize and express his regret to Kirby for the way things had gone down, but in that moment, that’s not what he’d come pr
epared to do. He almost turned around to walk back outdoors but felt self-conscious about doing so, especially in front of Monica. He didn’t want to seem rattled by the news that Kirby was in the building.
As he discreetly scanned the gym for a Kirby sighting, Jake made his way upstairs to the cardio area for a quick ten-minute warm-up on the treadmill. He put his earphones in and selected a song from his playlist. He then set the treadmill to manual mode and began a light run to get his heart rate up. Jake’s mind raced with a myriad of thoughts—a sense of estrangement from his mother, the newfound bond and closeness he felt to his father, especially after the time they’d spent together that afternoon, his phone conversation with Camilla and her seeming lack of awareness about the plot that had unfolded to separate him from her daughter, conflicting emotions about Amanda, and now, added to the mix, apprehension about seeing Kirby. Jake took a deep breath to settle down and allowed himself to get caught up in the melody and lyrics of the song that blared in his ears.
Jake had planned to spend ten minutes doing cardio before heading downstairs to the weight area to begin lifting. He stared blankly up ahead at the TV screen hanging from the ceiling before he looked down and noticed that he had only fifty seconds left. He stopped running and began to walk briskly as he slowed the speed down on the treadmill. He looked back up at the TV screen and then scanned the room, barely turning his head to look left or right. However, from his peripheral vision, he noticed that the treadmill to his immediate right was now being used. It had been empty before. The second Jake turned his head for a quick glance, he felt as though his heart had stopped. It was Kirby, right there next to him.
Kirby turned to look back at Jake, meeting his gaze as he walked briskly on the treadmill. “Hi.”
Jake pressed the stop button on his treadmill and pulled off his earphones. “Hi. I didn’t even realize you were there.”
