by L. Divine
“Earlier? When did he try and kiss you?” Jeremy asks, waiting for my reply.
“It was nothing, Jeremy,” I say, trying to diffuse the situation. But Jeremy doesn’t look satisfied with my answer, and KJ looks like he’s ready for a fight.
“If it was nothing, then why didn’t you tell me about it?” Jeremy asks.
“Because it was something,” KJ says with a smile on his face like he’s just caught me in a lie. “What Jayd and I have is special, and ain’t no White boy gone come between us. Ain’t that right, Jayd?”
“Hell no, that ain’t right,” I say, pissed KJ’s ruining our afternoon. “Like I told you earlier, I’ve got a new man now, KJ. Your kisses and anything else you have to offer are no longer welcomed by me.”
“You need to shut up with all that bullshit, Jayd. We both know the real deal,” KJ says, stepping toward me.
“Hey, man. You don’t need to talk to her like that,” Jeremy says, coming to my defense.
“Hey, dude,” KJ says, mimicking Jeremy’s surfer accent, “like, stay out of this. It doesn’t concern you, dude.”
“What’s this guy’s problem?” Jeremy asks me.
“His ego’s too big for his own good,” I answer, ready to leave without the cookies. We need to find another mall to hang at.
“You need to lose the zero and get back with the Negro, Jayd,” Del chimes in from the background. He’s so silly. If the situation weren’t serious, I’d have to laugh. Ignoring Del’s comment, but not my obvious discomfort, Jeremy takes my hand and leads me away from the food court and back toward the escalator.
“That’s it, run like a little—” Before he can say what I know is about to come out his mouth, I turn around and silence KJ with the most intense look I’ve ever given him.
“Now you see why I didn’t answer the phone? All you do is bring drama into my life, and all I really want is peace. Can you please chill out?” I ask, surprising myself with my calm words. I was ready to cuss him out a minute ago. But then, just as I felt myself getting hot, I also caught a whiff of Mama’s shea butter still lingering from this morning.
“How can he chill when you keep throwing rejection in his face?” Misty says, following Shae and the rest of the crew up to the scene we’ve just created. Did everyone in South Central decide to come to the mall today? And where are my girls when I need them? Jeremy’s not enough backup for all this heat.
“It wouldn’t be thrown in his face if he’d stop following me around,” I say, unsure if I should be talking to KJ or his attorney, Misty. Just as we get into it for the second time today, Chance and Matt walk though the door from the rooftop parking lot and head our way. Thank God. Finally, some relief.
“What’s up, dude,” Matt says to Jeremy, unaware of the drama taking place. Chance, a little more keen than Matt, senses the awkwardness and takes my other hand, ready to lead me toward the door.
“Hey, Jayd. What are you two still doing here? I thought we were meeting at Matt’s after school,” he says, providing a diversion to the chaos.
“No, I guess Jeremy decided to take her on a shopping spree instead,” KJ says, walking up to us and grabbing my left hand away from Jeremy’s, revealing my new bracelet for everyone to see.
“Hey, man, you need to watch yourself,” Jeremy says, reclaiming my hand from KJ’s grip and slightly knocking KJ off balance. KJ catches himself and stares Jeremy down like he’s doing a drive-by on him with his eyes. Then he steps up to Jeremy like he’s going to sock him, but turns his attention to me instead, making me feel a rush deep inside. I’ve never had two dudes literally fighting over me. I have to admit, this is kind of cool.
“Sock the shit out of his White ass,” Misty yells suddenly. Jeremy doesn’t move a muscle and neither does KJ, who’s still looking right at me.
“You need to step back,” Jeremy says, stepping in between KJ and me. KJ slowly looks from me to Jeremy before doing something I never expected.
“And, if I don’t?” KJ says, pushing Jeremy’s shoulders and knocking him off balance. What the hell? When Jeremy regains his footing, he returns KJ’s push, and the fight is on.
“Fight, fight,” Misty yells through the crowded food court. I’d better stop this before we all end up in jail. These police officers in Redondo Beach don’t play.
“KJ, let him go,” I say, knowing he’s not listening to me. “Jeremy, stop it!” Jeremy does hear me and untangles himself from KJ’s grasp before they both fall to the floor. Wiping a trickle of blood from his lower lip, Jeremy grabs my hand and catches his breath.
“Let’s get out of here,” Jeremy says, looking at Matt, Chance, and me. I feel so bad for getting him into this mess.
“So, that’s what it takes to get the cookies from Jayd Jackson: the bling-bling,” Misty calls, adding salt to KJ’s already open wound.
“Shut the hell up, you little instigator,” I say, trying to get Misty to realize her part in all this. I then step from in between KJ and Jeremy, feeling both of their bodies extremely close to mine. There’s that rush again. “Jeremy, let’s just go. They’re not worth our time,” I say, allowing Chance to lead us out the door following Matt, who’s already in the parking lot.
“This ain’t over, dude,” KJ calls to our backs as the rest of the spectators laugh at his imitation of Jeremy.
“No, dude, it isn’t,” Jeremy says in a tone so calm it’s almost frightening. I guess he can get down and dirty with the rest of us when he needs to. But, he can also maintain his cool, which makes any doubts I may have had about his character fly out of my head.
I know there will be some sort of backlash from this scene tomorrow. I wonder if we can just hide out until the weekend comes. I don’t want to deal with KJ, Misty, or even my girls anymore. Jeremy and I were having a great afternoon until they messed it up. And I don’t care what Nellie says. KJ hasn’t changed a bit. I know he’s hurting, but he doesn’t have to act like this. Only Mama can help me with this. She’s with clients tonight, so I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to get some advice.
It’s been a long week, and I’m glad to go to my mom’s tonight. I started packing my bag last night, so all I need is to finish and wait for my mom to swoop me up when she gets off work.
“Jayd, come back here and help me find my shoes, please,” Mama yells from her closet. I’m barely through the door and already working.
“Which shoes are you looking for?” I ask, immediately looking under my bed, then hers.
“Any pair of black ones that match,” she says, frantically searching through the pile of shoes on the closet floor.
“What y’all doin’ in here?” Jay asks from the hallway.
“Looking for Mama’s shoes. You can help if you want,” I say, glaring at him from my crouched position.
“Naw, that’s okay. I’m going down to Ms. Prichard’s house. I’ll see y’all later,” Jay says, turning around to leave.
“Jay, take some of this cream to her. Tell her this will help with her arthritis,” Mama says, grabbing a jar from her bookcase and handing it to Jay, who steps over me to reach Mama’s hand.
“Dang, Jay. Watch out before you crush me with your boat feet.”
“And don’t be down there all night, either, boy. You hang out with them girls too much,” Mama says. She don’t want no premature babies from no one to raise.
“Yes, Mama. Bye, Jayd. Tell Auntie Lynn I said hi.” And Jay was gone to chase after some broads while I’m still here looking for Mama’s shoes, doggy style.
“Jayd, where’d you get that bracelet from?” Mama asks, noticing my new bling.
“Oh, Jeremy gave it to me yesterday. You like it?” I ask, waving my arm around like a star.
“Yes, very much. It matches your shirt and shoes quite nicely,” she says sarcastically, referring to my new tank and sandals.
“How’s it going with KJ and Misty? Are they still causing you problems,” Mama asks, still digging through the closet.
&nbs
p; “Oh, yes. KJ’s jealous and so is Misty,” I say, pulling out several black shoes, none of them matching.
“Jayd, just be careful with both of them. Men can get real petty when egos are involved,” Mama says, tossing several almost identical shoes out of the closet and into my pile. “One of those has got to match one of your shoes,” Mama says, giving up and taking a seat on her bed.
“KJ’s ego is just too much for me, Mama,” I say, finally finding a match to one of her shoes. “And, I feel bad for him, especially because I found another dude so quickly. But I don’t know what else to do,” I say, handing the matching pair to Mama and getting up from the floor to sit across from her on my bed.
“Have you tried listening to KJ? Maybe he just wants to be heard,” she says, slipping on her shoes before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. She and Netta are hosting a candle party at the beauty shop, and Mama’s running late, as usual.
“All I do is hear KJ because he won’t leave me alone.”
“Okay. Then maybe it’s time you changed your approach. Instead of fighting his advances, allow them in and see where they lead. If there’s nothing there anymore, then you have nothing to be afraid of.” And, with that last bit of advice, she’s off, and I’m left waiting for my mom, who’s also running late. Just then, my phone vibrates, letting me know there’s a text message in my mailbox.
“Peace, Jayd. Didn’t c u at school 2day. Just want 2 say sorry 4 yesterday and I want 2 c u this weekend so we can talk face-to-face. Please call me when u get this message. KJ.”
This fool must be tripping if he thinks I’m calling him after the scene he caused at the mall yesterday. Jeremy and I did an excellent job today of avoiding everyone we didn’t want to see at school. That’s one good thing about going to the second largest high school in Southern California. It’s easy to avoid people if you know all the hiding places, like Jeremy does.
Speaking of my honey, we have a date tomorrow night, and I think it’s time we made this thing official. I’m tired of waiting for everything to be just right, and it’ll obviously never be a cool time for us to get together. So, the only thing really stopping us is me. Well, no more. I’m ready to give Jeremy and me a chance at love. I can’t wait until our usual Saturday night date. I’m getting used to him being a part of my weekend routine.
17
Second Chance, First Choice
“If I’m seen with a girl then she gotta be just (like u).”
—LIL BOW WOW WITH CIARA
As usual, our date ends up at the beach, which is just fine by me. I love coming to the beach at night, especially with Jeremy. I always wear my hair pulled back in a ponytail, making sure the fog doesn’t affect my do. He usually lets the top down, allowing the water’s cool air into the car.
“Are you cold?” Jeremy asks, reaching into the backseat and retrieving the overstuffed down blanket.
“No, I’m good. I’m getting used to the weather out here,” I say, allowing him to pull me close into his arms as he gets comfortable in the driver’s seat.
“What do you want to listen to?” he asks, grabbing his CD case from under the front seat.
“How about the radio,” I offer, tuning the dial to 93.5 KDAY, my favorite station.
“How do you know about KDAY?” Jeremy asks, looking impressed with my choice in music.
“My uncle used to listen to the original station back in the day when it was on AM .” Bryan told me all about how the powers that be took it off the air because it was getting too politically conscious. I’m just glad it’s back on because I really enjoy the music. “Let’s see what they’re playing,” I say, readjusting my position in his arms. As we both get comfortable, waiting for the music to start, the DJ announces a dedication from KJ in Compton. No, it can’t be ...
“KJ says for his sweet, lovely Lady Jayd to call him when she hears this song. He knows you’re listening. Here’s to you, Jayd, wherever you are. The brotha’s got it bad if he’s dedicating Al Green to you, baby,” the DJ says as “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?” begins to play. It’s KJ’s and my second favorite song after Aaliyah’s “Let Me Know.”
“I’m so sorry about this, Jeremy,” I say, instantly feeling embarrassed for him. When will this brotha quit?
“It’s cool, Jayd. I’m not sweating it,” he says, lying back in his seat like nothing just happened. I’m so shocked by his nonchalant attitude I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. Maybe he feels like he shouldn’t have to. Whatever the case, I must admit, no one’s ever dedicated a song to me over the radio before. And, it’s making me feel special, just as special as buying me gifts does. Why didn’t KJ do stuff like this when we were together?
“Are you cool with it?” Jeremy asks, not moving from his relaxed position. He’s a little too damn relaxed sometimes. “It’s your song,” he says, in a tone I don’t recognize.
“I’m well aware of whose song it is, Jeremy. I thought you just might, you know, be a little upset, another guy sneaking up on your territory and all,” I say, rubbing his stomach.
“It’s not my territory to sneak up on, is it?” he asks with a little venom on his tongue. I decide not to push the issue any further. We can talk about this tomorrow, when it’s not so fresh. He may act like he doesn’t care, but I know this bothers him a little bit. It has to, right? And, if it doesn’t, what does that say about his feelings for me? Men are so confusing. And I’m going to have to deal with KJ sooner or later. I just don’t know what to do now. Jeremy’s aloof behavior has turned me off a little, and KJ’s persistence is starting to turn me on. Maybe I’ll give my girls another chance to help me out on this one tomorrow, because I’m stuck in neutral and don’t know which way to go.
When I get to work this morning, Jeremy and KJ are all I can think about. And, because it’s been so slow, as Sunday mornings usually are, I don’t have much work to distract me. At least Shahid let me take an early lunch, giving me a chance to sort out my confusion over some comfort food and sunshine.
Don’t slip up and get caught, ’cause I’m coming for that number one spot.
“Hello,” I say in between bites of my spinach pattie.
“Hey, Jayd. It’s Nellie and Mickey,” Nellie says.
“Hey, y’all, what’s cracking?” I say.
“So, how was your date last night?” Mickey asks, beside herself with excitement. I know they heard KJ’s little dedication.
“It was fine,” I say, suddenly losing my appetite.
“Are you sure, girl? I know my man would’ve whipped KJ’s ass for some shit like that.”
“That’s because your man’s a thug, Mickey,” Nellie says. “Jayd, is everything all right with you and Jeremy?” Nellie asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yes, we’re fine. Actually, a little too fine for me,” I say, playing with my food. I was hungry a minute ago.
“What do you mean?” Nellie asks.
“He didn’t react at all, y’all,” I say, still in disbelief myself.
“What?” they scream simultaneously.
“Oh, that’s just plain weird, Jayd. See why I couldn’t date no White boy. Where’s the passion?” Mickey says.
“There’s a difference between passion and rage, Mickey,” Nellie says, putting her in check. “But, I do agree with Mickey. That’s a little bit strange.”
“Well, I agree with both of y’all,” I say, though I don’t want to admit it. “But what do I do now?” I ask.
“Girl, if I were you,” Mickey says, like she’s about to offer me the Holy Grail of advice, “I’d hang up the phone with us right now, call KJ, and pray Misty hasn’t laid that booty on him yet.”
“Not that I agree with everything she just said,” Nellie says, “but Mickey’s right. You do need to call KJ and see where you two stand.” I don’t know if she’s right about me and KJ, but I do know I really don’t feel like dealing with him right now.
“I’ll see,” I say, wanting to get off the phone and just s
pend the rest of my lunch break relaxing, looking at the cars ride down Overhill Drive. “Right now I just need to chill.”
“All right then, girl. We’ll talk to you later,” Mickey says.
“Call us when you get back home,” Nellie says.
“I’ll call after I finish my homework. I’ve avoided doing it all weekend.”
“Homework? Sometimes I think we go to different schools. Later, Jayd,” Mickey says, before hanging up.
“Talk to you later,” Nellie says, leaving me to my own thoughts, or so I think. I’ve only got about fifteen minutes left on my break to relax before the after-church lunch crowd hits, but wouldn’t you know who I see walking up?
“Hey, Jayd. What does it take to get you to call a brotha back?” KJ asks when he gets close enough for me to hear him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, a little glad to see him. He’s just not going to give up that easy, is he?
“I’m here to see you, obviously. And, you can’t run from me here,” he says, and he’s right, unless I want to get fired.
“Look, KJ. As flattered as I am by this newfound love you have for me, I’m still not moved to completely forgive you,” I say, readjusting my position on the metal bench.
“Okay. But can we at least start as friends again?” he says in that charming way of his with that golden smile. “I can’t let this go, Jayd.”
“And maybe that’s the problem, KJ. I think you can’t let it go because I’m a challenge. And, it’s not going to always be this way,” I say, pulling out my reserve of buried wisdom. After Jeremy dropped me off last night, I decided not to react with emotions, which is exactly how Jeremy tries to live. It seems to work for him, so I thought I’d give it a try.
“I know it’s not always going to be like this. And, I’m not worried about sex anymore; it’ll happen when you’re ready. I’m just worried about you coming back to me, where you belong.”
“KJ, do you hear yourself when you speak, or does the bullshit just flow continuously?” I ask, rapidly losing my patience with him. “What if I’m never ready?” I say, challenging his newfound patience.
