Struggle

by P. A. Jones

  "What was he saying?" I asked Eva.

  "Nothing much, just nice things about you." She gave me a beautiful smile. My heart longed to grab her and kiss her, but now wasn’t the time.

  "Let's get down to business then." I grabbed my computer and sat on the couch. She came and sat to my right side, close enough that she could see the screen. Her scent flooded my senses. I wanted to breathe her in again and again.

  I opened my screen and ran the simulator, which brought up the home page of her college website. In another window, I opened Firefox to compare to her current website. “Okay, see the difference in these two versions? I think I have everything you want." I showed her the Facebook integration button and the bubble button, which I intended for their local twitter-like tool. "These are just the mockups. I still have to put in the back-up code. I will be presenting this to your college committee soon."

  "That's wonderful." She moved closer to me to see it more clearly. She was wearing a tank top so her bare shoulder was touching mine, and she pulled her hair over to the other side, which made me want to nuzzle into her neck.

  She put her hand in her pocket, kind of like she was looking for something. “What are you looking for?”

  "A hair clip. My hair gets in my way when I’m working. I am thinking of cutting it.”

  "Please don't. It’s beautiful.” I couldn't believe what I was saying.

  My breathing was getting faster, and our eyes met. I moved towards her, pressing my lips on hers. I grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her to me. Her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries, and her scent completely took me over. I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, and she welcomed it. My tension was increasing, and I was losing control. I had to stop because she wasn't like other girls who were in my life for one night. She was different; she was special. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted things to move slowly.

  I pulled back, keeping my hand in her hair. I looked into her eyes. They were sad, urging for more. "I am sorry, Eva. I lost control."

  "I lost control, too, Nathan, but you withdrew. What does that mean?" She was breathing fast.

  "You are special, Eva, and I don't want to end it. I want things to go slow."

  She pulled back, adjusting herself on the couch. "What was it, Nathan? What does that mean?" Her eyes were looking at me like I did something wrong.

  “Eva, that kiss meant a lot to me. I just want things to go slow. You are not like others and I want you to have a special place in my life. Let us take it slowly, okay?" I shoved my hand through my hair. "I was attracted to you from the moment I saw you in the bar, even though I was with somebody else. You have that effect on me, and I’m drawn to you.”

  "Sorry, Nathan. I didn't know you were with someone else. I am so sorry." She burst into tears.

  "No, nothing like that. I am not seeing anyone, not like you are thinking. I just wanted to tell you how crazy you drive me when you are around me." I took her face in my hands and wiped her tears with my thumb.

  She looked into my eyes. “How foolish am I, though? I kissed you without knowing anything about you. You are right. We should know each other better. You must be thinking how reckless I am, right? Or did I act like a complete college girl?" She gave me the most beautiful smile.

  "You are, after all, a college girl." I tried to make her laugh. She punched me on my shoulder. "Oh, my god. You have the power you hurt me, Eva. You could be a good boxer."

  "You…” She hit me again and we both laughed.

  ***

  Fifteen minutes letter, we were again discussing the proposal. I decided to meet her college professor, Mrs. Cooper, the coming Saturday.

  When we were done and I looked at my watch, it was past 8 and we were both were hungry. “I think I need to eat something. What about you? Would you like to go out and get some Chinese?”

  "Are you asking me out on a date?” Eva asked, smiling.

  "You can say that.” I smiled. “Come on. I’m damn hungry.”

  We went to a nearby Chinese restaurant, then I dropped her at her dorm. She left the car with her innocent smile, leaving an imprint on my heart.

  Chapter 17

  Nathan

  Eva was taking me to meet her teacher, Mrs. Cooper. We had to show her the progress and check the next phase. It was like a User Acceptance Testing for me and I was confident enough. As it was college visit, I decided to wear my brown formal jacket. I drove to Eva’s dorm.

  When I was outside the building, I dialed her number. She came out, walking like a princes. She was wearing a red tank top and a dark blue jeans. As she walked to my car, I remembered her lips pressed against mine tasting like a luscious strawberry. "What are you thinking, Mr. Brown?" She giggled. “Ready for the meeting?"

  "Absolutely. I am thinking that you can show me your college once we are done.” I looked at her, hoping that she wouldn't decline my offer.

  "Sure. I had the same thought. I have the day off today.”

  ***

  When we entered the college grounds, I could see people roaming around. I remembered my college days, which also bought back the memories of Samantha. I didn't want to remember those.

  "Park on that side." Eva broke into my thoughts and indicated where I should go.

  When we got out of the car, we saw Chloe and Martin. “Hi, sugar. Hi, Nathan. How’s the project going?” Chloe giggled when she saw us.

  "It's going good. We’re going to meet Mrs. Cooper now, and maybe we will catch you later." Eva replied and we started walking towards the staff offices.

  She stopped and knocked on Mrs. Cooper's office. “Yes, come in.”

  I pushed the wooden door open, which resulted in a creaking sound. An old lady with big glasses on her face was sitting behind a big desk. There were a lot of books scattered around the table. Eva introduced me to her teacher. She glanced at me through her glasses, as I took out my laptop to show her the early design.

  As I finished up the presentation, I said, “And that's how the students can communicate on Facebook and Twitter, but it will be secure because it will go through our firewall."

  "That looks nice. I would say you have captured the requirements very well,” Mrs. Cooper replied with confusion on her face.

  "Thanks to Eva. She had been working with me every day to make sure I understood everything you wanted." I looked back at Eva, who was blushing.

  "Yes, she is a good student. She is also a sportswomen.”

  I was surprised to hear that…Eva and sports? That was a nice combination. When I looked at her, her face had fallen. I wondered why.

  We said our goodbyes to Mrs. Cooper and left her office.

  "I don't see how that old fart understood the design." I chuckled. “So, where can we head? Are there any nice restaurants nearby where we can grab a bite?”

  “Why don’t we get take out, then go someplace quiet? What you say?" Eva asked.

  I smiled. "That sounds like a plan."

  We start walking and I can’t help thinking that I don’t know where she’s taking me…physically or emotionally. She had some magic, which flipped me inside out every time her eyes met mine.

  We grabbed some burgers, then Eva walked down an ally to enter a dense tree area. Huge trees covered a beautifully crafted road. In front of our eyes, we had a man-made road and when I looked around, nature predominantly showed off it's magic. "It's so beautiful." My eyes moved from one thing to another. The university must have planned for it for years. The forest was quiet and clean, a few birds chirping here and there.

  We walked for five more minutes without saying a word. While I was admiring the beauty, we come out at the river. I couldn't believe I had never see this place.

  Eva was standing at the end of the trail, looking into oblivion. We stood there, our shoulders touching, but our minds were somewhere else. Speechless, we stood there for almost ten minutes. There were very few people present on the shore. A man ran past us wearing a blue jacket with an iPod in his hand. “It’s
a nice place to jog,” I whispered, fearful that I would kill the mood.

  "That's the irony of life.” Eva sounded very low.

  "I like runners. They are so agile. After kickboxing, that’s my favorite sport. I am not a runner, but I do like it." I wanted to say something to kill the silence between us. I was getting afraid. Why did Eva want to have lunch here? Did she want to talk with me?

  "Can we please talk about something else?”

  I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. “What happened, Eva? I am sorry if I said anything wrong." I couldn't guess why her mood had changed in seconds.

  “It’s nothing, Nathan. Let’s just sit on the bench and have lunch."

  We sat together on the bench, eating our burgers in silence. It was actually burning a hole in my stomach. I was afraid that Eva just might tell me that she didn’t feel like seeing me anymore.

  "This is the place I come when I feel low, or I want to discover myself." She kept looking towards the water. I didn’t say anything, just put my hand on her shoulder.

  "You know, I am a runner. I have won various awards in high school and college. My dream is to peruse a career in the sport. I want to do something related to running. If not on the national level, at least on the state.”

  It was a bit of a shock to me. I never knew that she had such a dream under those blue eyes. I smiled. "It's very nice, Eva. You know, deep inside, my heart burns for kickboxing. I can understand fully what sports mean to you. I know it keeps you awake at night, but why do you look so sad? You can tell me anything, you know.”

  "I am not sure why I am telling you this, but I am really not happy with my life right now." She took a deep breath. I could see the reluctance in her eyes. "I have a big competition in two months, but I got into an accident a few days back. The doctor says that I can't run for at least six months."

  "Injuries will happen, then you heal. Maybe you can participate in another event after six months." I tried to cheer her up, but I knew that this wasn't the only problem she had.

  "It's not like that. I need to get the scholarship, and I need to win this event so I will get the recommendation from the college. I have been practicing and pushing myself hard to come here and now I am nothing." Tears started flowing down her face.

  My heart was filled with sorrow for her. Seeing her crying like that tore at my heart. I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards me. Still crying, she put her head on my shoulder.

  "Hey, sweetie, don't cry. There has to be something that we can do to heal you faster. What did the doctor say?” I was feeling something different for her than I’ve ever felt. It wasn't attraction or sympathy, but the pain she was having was radiating through me. I slowly twined my fingers through her hair, hoping that it would comfort her.

  After about five minutes, she said, “Doctor said that he can't do anything because it’s a muscle issue, and I would recover from it with training only."

  My ears perked up. "Did you say training?"

  "Yes, training, but physiotherapy will take lots of time."

  "How about a mix of western training and Indian Yoga?”

  She looked at me with sleepy eyes, her hair sticking to her face. If it wasn't for the situation, I would have kissed her. "What did you say?”

  "I said that we can try a rapid training regime for you. I know this stuff. Indian Yoga and Western Training may help you strengthen your muscles faster. It's not a sure thing, but it won't hurt to try it with your physiotherapy sessions."

  "I am not getting what you are trying to say here." She was still confused.

  I smiled. “Trust me. We are starting your training tomorrow. Is that okay with you?" I was starting to get excited.

  She paused for a second. “Ok. I am not sure about this, but a little hope is always good." She didn't looked convinced, but I was excited. "Training always gave me a better edge than my opponents.”

  We finished the lunch and decided to head back to our own homes. She was emotionally overloaded, and I wanted her to rest. For the first time since Samantha, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Maybe it was just anticipating the training that we were going to start, maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, I liked it.

  Chapter 18

  Eva

  "He said he would like to help me with some specific training to help my injury.” I was all happy when I got back to the dorm. I kept disturbing Chloe by my talking.

  "That's good. I hope it will help you." Chloe was busy with her homework so she was only half listening to me.

  "Chloe, you are not listening to me! We kissed two days back."

  Her head shot up. "What did you say, sweetie? Can you say that again?"

  "I said we kissed each other two days back."

  "And you are just telling me this today? You had a big date and I, your roommate, your best friend, am the last to know?"

  She made her angry face, but I knew she was happy for me. "It's not a big deal. We got lost in the moment and kissed each other. It was just one kiss, not a big deal."

  "What? Were you playing a kissing game or something?” Chloe's eyes were so wide that I thought they would pop out.

  I giggled, looking at her expression "No, he wanted us to get to know each other before we went further.”

  "What does that mean? Why would he decline such an opportunity?"

  “No, nothing like that. I felt something troubled him, and I am okay with him taking some time. Maybe something happened in his past.” I was thinking about it while talking, but it just troubled me more. "You know what? He offered me help with my training so that’s what I’ll concentrate on right now.”

  Chloe smiled. "That nice of him, but I’m still troubled by his actions.”

  "It troubled me, too, like a setback. But I can't force him, and he is right anyway. I don't want just a one-night stand and if we are going to get serious, it will take some time. We’re going to get to know each other. I don’t want to rush things, either.”

  "You both seem serious about this.” Chloe took a deep breath. “And I am happy for you."

  "I just hope that I won't get hurt this time.”

  ***

  I slept peacefully that night and, the next morning, I woke up, excited for the training. We had agreed that I would meet him at his house early. I was on the road sooner than I expected myself to be.

  When I reached Nathan's house, I checked my watch. I was lot earlier than we had agreed upon. We had decided on 7:30 AM, but it was only 7. What should I do now? I thought for a second and decided to give him an early surprise.

  Instead of calling him, I rang his bell. To my surprise, he opened the door right away. He was already ready in a blue t-shirt, off-white trousers, and a pair of Nike sneakers. His long hair was pushed back, giving him an Italian hunk look, which suited him. When his dark brown eyes meet mine, a spark coursed through my body, which reminded me of the kiss we shared earlier.

  "Good morning.” His voice snapped me out of my hypnosis.

  "Hi. Sorry, I am a bit early."

  "It's okay.” He stretched his arms into the air. “We can start early." I nodded.

  "First, I will introduce you to a good technique. It’s called foam rolling. One of the wonders of sports science. I will show you how to do it, then I will take you through it." I nodded, his scent hypnotizing me.

  "Have you heard about it?" He asked, looking at my puzzled face.

  I shake my head to get out of his spell and concentrate on what he was saying. “Um, no, let’s start it.” The last thing I wanted him to know was his effect on me. I followed him inside to his exercise room. I was stunned to see his equipment… dumbbells, kettle balls, yoga mat, full set of resistance bands, weights and, of course, kickboxing gear. But the thing that really got her attention about his room was the neatness. There were a hell of a lot of machines, all placed neatly. "You can make a full gym here. You just need a treadmill.”

  "I prefer running outside. It makes me feel connected to nature,” h
e said, smiling.

  "I don’t even like the treadmill,” I said, laughing.

  He rolled out the yoga mat and took one roller out of a box. It wasn’t exactly a roller, but had knobs pointing to the outside. “It’s a rumble roller. This will relax your muscles. It will help you start the blood flowing in your legs, warming them up.”

  "How do we use it?" I could sense the operation, but I wanted to hear it from him.

  "You place it on the mat and roll your leg on it. Start with your calf, then shin. Once you’re done with the lower leg, we will move to the thighs and hamstring muscles.”

  "Can you show me?"

  "Absolutory. We will do it together."

  He took off his pants to reveal his exercise shorts underneath. I could see his leg muscles, which were rock hard and sculpted. His calf muscles were bulging, and his thighs didn't have the slightest bit of fat.

  He started showing me how to use the roller, and I followed all the details. The knobs were digging into my flesh and it was painful. After fifteen minutes of the exercise, I gave up. "It hurts."

  “That means it's working." His calm eyes gave me the confidence. "Listen, there are many muscles in your legs that you are constantly using for daily activities. To let them rest, you have to do something more than regular stretching. The roller allows your body weight to act on your muscles to stretch them and relax them."

  He had a point. It felt like someone was massaging my legs, which felt good after fifteen minutes.

  Nathan followed up with some other exercises after the rolling part. When he announced that we were done for the day, it was past 10. Damn, I will be late for class."I have to go, Nathan. It’s getting late."

  "Sure. I will start working on your project."

  "So I will catch you tomorrow evening then?”

  "That sounds good." He threw a towel at me. Within ten minutes, I was headed back to the dorm, thinking about him.

  ***