Struggle

by P. A. Jones

  The next evening, I went to his house for training. He had some extended training planned using Indian Yoga. For the first ten minutes, it was hard enough for me to start sweating, but after a half-hour of the yoga, I actually felt good. That was the first exercise I did where my mind was equally focused on the form, poses, and surroundings. After yoga, we continued with some strength training.

  ***

  The training continued like that for a week. One Saturday evening, I said, “So, day off tomorrow?”

  "No, it will be a surprise for you."

  "But I didn't get you anything,” I said with a slight smile.

  He smiled. "You will start running tomorrow."

  My mouth dropped open. "You know I can't run in this condition! I don't have the strength in my right calf!"

  "Don't worry. You will do fine. I want to see how you run, then we can discuss modifications if we need any."

  "Okay, I will get going then."

  He hesitated for a second, like he was afraid to ask me something. "Would you like to come out for dinner tonight?"

  “Like a date date?” I teased him, keeping my face serious.

  “Uhmmm…”

  I laughed. "Just kidding, Nathan. We can go in ten minutes if I can get ready here."

  "Please, the spare room is yours. I’ll go into my room and change, too.”

  "You look decent enough already,” I teased.

  He just laughed. "We will see.”

  I took a bath as fast as I could, dried off, and changed into other clothes that I had with me. They weren’t “date” clothes, but they were decent. Nathan was sitting on the couch when I was ready. He was in a red t-shirt, which showed off his muscles, and blue jeans.

  “Hot outfit.” I winked.

  "And you look good, too.” He smiled.

  His eyes were talking to my soul. It was something that language can't describe, but the touch of it was comforting to my mind. His scent was wrapping me in his deadly effect and I was losing myself.

  "Shall we?”

  ***

  He took me to a nice Italian restaurant. "You like Italian, Nathan?"

  "A bit, but I know you like it."

  I was surprised. "Who tipped you off?"

  "Nobody. I can guess that myself." He smiled and I dived deep into his eyes again.

  "What would you like to have, Eva?" He handed the menu to me.

  "Fettuccine Alfedo, and a shot of tequila."

  "That sounds good.” He signaled the waiter, and ordered two Alfredo’s and two shots of tequila.

  Soon, we had downed four shots, and I was starting to feel the effect. I never drink out much because of the emotional aftereffects.

  ***

  Nathan

  "Who do you hate, Nathan? Why are you so scared about the attraction between us?"

  I was shocked by her sudden question. I looked away. I always felt like she could see into my soul. "That's a strange question, Eva. Why do you want to know?”

  "You said that we should get know each other. That's why I am asking."

  “I think you are a bit drunk, Eva. We will discuss this later." I wanted to distract her.

  "No, Nathan. I am completely sober. Please answer my question."

  "Nobody, Eva. I am just afraid that I will hurt you." I was speaking the truth. I just didn’t think I needed to tell her about Samantha right now.

  "Why would you hurt me, Nathan? Do you want to hurt me?" She moved her hand to hold mine. Her emotions radiated through my body. I knew exactly what she was feeling.

  "I don't want to, Eva." I looked into her eyes, but I tried my best to hide my pain. "I am a player, and I don't want this to end like that. I feel that there’s something is special in you, and I want to preserve it. That's why I am taking it slow." I held her hand tightly. She didn't know how much I was fighting with myself.

  She smiled and ordered her fifth drink. “Are you sure, Eva?” I wasn’t sure if she could handle that much alcohol.

  "Yes. Nathan. To our friendship." She rose her glass in a toast. I followed her.

  She drank two more shots while we talked about various things. It was amazing how much we had in common. But after her seventh drink, her eyes started closing and I knew that was her limit. "I think I should drive you home. You can pick your car up tomorrow."

  "I trust you, Nathan,” she said, as she laid her head on the table. She looked as innocent as a child.

  I smiled. "It's time to get home, Eva." I helped her up and walked her to the car.

  She was giggling while we walked. "Thanks for helping me, Nathan."

  She slept on my shoulder while I drove to her dorm. I had no other choice so I picked her up and walked towards the building. I knocked at her room.

  "Don't hurt me like Jacob,” she mumbled, a tear falling down her face. What was she talking about?

  Chloe opened the door. "Six pegs down?"

  "Yes. I didn't know tequila would have such an effect on her."

  "I know. Sometimes she goes a bit overboard. I hope she didn't embarrass you."

  "Not at all, Chloe. She is like a sweet child, and she is lighter than I thought.”

  Chloe laughed and directed me to Eva's bed. I said goodbye to Chloe and headed towards my apartment, but the question kept coming into my mind…Who is Jacob, and how did he hurt Eva?

  Chapter 19

  Eva

  The next, day I woke up with a major hangover. I couldn't open my eyes, but my phone was ringing so somebody had texted me already. I reached over to the night table. It was from Nathan.

  Good morning, sleeping beauty. We have a training session around 10.

  The memories of last night come slowly. Damn, what had I talked about with Nathan? I couldn't remember anything, only that I asked him who he hates and I said something about Jacob. Holy shit.

  Chloe was already up. She had some plans with Martin. "So, sleeping beast, how are you today?"

  "My head hurts, Chloe, and I can't remember how I got back here." My head felt like somebody was pounding on it with a hammer.

  "That's because you passed out in Nathan's arms and he carried you here, laying you in bed.”

  "Did he?" I felt embarrassed.

  "Yes, and he was kind enough to drop you off, safe and sound. One thing I don’t get is how you could drink more than five when you know what happens after that."

  "I kind of got emotional, and I didn't know how much I drank. I need to get ready. I have a training session with him."

  "You are blushing, Eva." Chloe had a mischievous smile on her face.

  "I am not!" I ran back into my room.

  I had to get ready for a big day. Nathan wanted to see how I run, and to see if I’ve improved. Butterflies were flying inside my belly. Was it because of Nathan, or the fact that I was going to run again?

  ***

  At 10 AM sharp, I was in front of Nathan's home. I was feeling restless already so I took a second to compose myself. I took a deep breath, pressing the doorbell.

  Nathan was already ready for the session. "We will go to a nearby park and start there." He was holding his foam roller.

  "Why the foam roller?"

  He smiled. "Let's go and have some fun.”

  We walked towards the park. I wanted to ask him what I had done yesterday, but he was silent so I kept quiet.

  Once we reached the park, he says, "Ok, run for hundred meters, then come back."

  "Is that it?"

  He nodded. "Just run and come back."

  "Ok…” I wasn't sure if I could do it. Sudden stabs of pain shot through my leg. I felt like I would let myself down again. "Are you sure I can do this?" I asked in a whisper.

  "Yes, Eva, you can do it. Have faith in yourself and your training."

  "But my leg is already hurting.”

  "That's nothing but psychological. Trust me. You will do just fine. We have finished our indoor training and we have to start doing outdoor training now. It's for you to build up strength."r />
  I nodded. Just looking into his eyes gave me some confidence. I started out at a fast walk, then I started running. For the first two minutes, it was good. I regained my confidence and decided to increase my speed but, at the same moment, an immense pain started in my right calf and I couldn't run any further. I fell down, feeling the pain and the shame at the same time.

  Nathan came running to me and gave me his hand. "Get up, Eva"

  "No, Nathan. It’s not working. I am a loser and I won’t run again." I couldn't control my sobbing.

  Nathan wiped the tears with his thumb. "Remember one thing, dear…if someone knocks you down, you should come up with twice the force he applied so that you will reach a new height and no one will be able to hurt you. Get up now, complete your hundred meters, and come back."

  "But it's hurting a lot, Nathan. I can't run."

  "Yes, I’m sure it is hurting. Have you seen a cancer patient taking chemotherapy, or the athlete without legs participating in the race? Do they say they can’t do it?”

  "No, they are great and I am not. I don’t even know how much I should drink when I’m out with someone."

  He smiled. "You do know that. And don't worry. When you are with me, you can be as drunk as you want. Rest assured that I will drop you home safely. Now, get up and run."

  He gave me inspiration. With his help, I got up. The leg was hurting, but my mind wasn't. I walked fast, then started running. It was hurting like hell, but I had to complete my hundred meter run. When I reached Nathan, it wasn’t hurting as much.

  "Now, take off your shoes and run on bare feet."

  I raised an eyebrow. "Bare feet?"

  He rolled his eyes. “Run.”

  I did what he said. It was hurting more than when I wore the shoes.

  "Now, run on your toes as much you can, pushing off on the balls of your feet only when necessary.”

  Without thinking twice, I ran again. It was less painful this time. "It is less painful, Nathan."

  "Is it? Now we’ll have one rolling session and then we will see how you run in your shoes again."

  He led me into running again and again. Over the next two hours, I had done half of what my normal routine was when I was healthy.

  "Ok, let's stop for today. We will continue tomorrow."

  My heart was racing, and my eyes widened when I checked my heart rate. It was almost equal to what I received from my normal training sessions. A wave of happiness that I couldn’t control washed over me and I run towards Nathan, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Nathan. I can't express my gratitude for what you are doing for me.”

  "You don't need to. That’s what friends do to help each other. Also, I can't bear to see pain in your face.”

  "Why, Nathan?" I could feel the rage in his body when he accidentally touched me while training. I wanted to figure out why.

  He didn't say anything. He came closer and pulled my head towards him. I knew what he was going to do. The sweet sensation flowed through my body. His breath touched my cheek and I closed my eyes. My lips separated, anticipating his lips touching mine. The waves of hunger were emerging from my belly and spreading all over my body. My heart stopped racing and waited for the moment…but nothing happened. He withdraw his hand from my neck and walked towards his car.

  It was hard for me to control my emotions, and I had an urge to slap him across his face and ask him why he did that. What is preventing him from kissing me and making me his? What hurdles has he faced? I had many questions, but my tongue was frozen and I kept everything inside.

  "Nathan, hold on.” I walked to him. "Mrs. Cooper wants to know the progress on the project, and she would like you to give her a call."

  "Sure, Eva, and I am sorry. I have to learn to control myself. Maybe I will be able to answer your questions one day, but not today."

  Chapter 20

  Nathan

  I couldn't sleep that night. When I closed my eyes, I could only see two pinkish lips parted, waiting for me to kiss them, to make them mine. But how could I do that with her? I knew I liked her and she liked me, too, but I couldn't do that. She was not a one-night stand. If I hurt her, I will only hurt myself. I never felt this kind of emotion for anyone…other than Samantha.

  I didn't want to hurt her. I was making sure I went slowly with this relationship, but that was getting impossible day by day. Is this a relationship, or just attraction? I can't play with her the way I play with others. She didn't know what I had done with many girls. I wasn't good enough for her. But her eyes kept me awake and restless, her plump lips were ready to be plucked by mine, I have to stop myself from kissing her elongated neck, and her scent takes me to heaven. The more I see her each day, the more my urge to kiss her increases.

  I fell asleep sometime around 4 AM, still thinking about her. Around 8 AM, my doorbell rang. When I got up, the whole room rotated, and it felt like a hammer was hitting my head. I walked towards the door and opened it. Eva was standing there in her sneakers, green sports bra, and blue shorts.

  "Come in. Sorry, I just woke up. I didn’t sleep so well last night.”

  "Why? What happened? Kept thinking about me?" She smiled, mischievously.

  I rubbed my neck. “Something like that. I am going to make some coffee. Do you want some?"

  "No, thank you.”

  My head was still hurting. I needed something. I switched on the burner…then everything went black.

  ***

  Eva

  The sound of something falling came from the kitchen. I thought Nathan must have dropped something. "What happened, Nathan? What did you drop?” I waited for an answer, but it didn't come. I got up from the couch to see what happened.

  When I entered the kitchen, I saw him on the floor surrounded by sugar. What the hell happened? I couldn’t think for a second. He was just talking to me and now he was unconscious on the floor. “Nathan? Can you hear me?” I shook his hand to wake him up, but he wasn't responding. I had to do something.

  The only friend I knew of his was James. I opened his phone, went to the browser, and searched for James. Google gave me thousand results. I was doing something wrong. Damn, why am I searching in Google instead of the contacts?

  I called James. Thankfully, he was nearby. He came, and we moved Nathan onto couch and called for an ambulance.

  ***

  I was biting my nails while the paramedic was checking him. My mind was creating a thousand questions. I really didn't want anything to happen him. I prayed that he would be all right. The paramedic stood up.

  "What happened? Why did he pass out?”

  "Are you his relative?"

  "No, his friend." Am I more than that to him?

  "Well, there’s nothing to be worried about. It's just a minor concussion, but he needs someone to take care of him."

  "I will do that."

  "Okay, call if there are any complications,” the paramedic said.

  I sat near his head, waiting for him to wake up. James sat there, too. He told me many stories of him and Nathan, and the boxing life. Hairs pricked up on the back of my neck when I heard about all the horror matches that Nathan had gone through.

  Finally, Nathan opened his eyes. Rubbing his head, he said, "What happened?"

  I put my hand on his mouth. “Keep quiet. You have a concussion. You need to rest today." I didn't want him to waste his energy. I would be taking care of him until he was better.

  "What? How come I am on the couch?"

  "You passed out in the kitchen. James came as soon as I called him.”

  "Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?" James asked.

  "Better, but my head really hurts.”

  "Don't worry. We got some medication. You have a minor concussion, but you will be fine soon." He smiled. "But you will need care.” He looked at me.

  "Oh, don’t worry. I will take care of him." I looked at Nathan, who was watching me carefully. I smiled. "Really, I’m just staying here to take care of this careless person. You can go if you have som
ething else to do.”

  "That's really not necessary, Eva. I can take care of myself." Nathan was trying to be formal, which I didn't really like.

  "Don't be a jerk, Nathan. When I said I would take care of you, I meant it. Anyways, I told Mrs. Cooper that you were ill and you wouldn’t be able to present the project today. I also have a free day."

  I was determined to make things right for him. After all, he was ill, and I felt more for him than just friendship. The attraction that lies between us is more than just physical, too. Whenever I looked into his brown eyes, I felt his touch straight to my soul. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew one thing…I would spend days, if required, taking care of him.

  "But your training. We should at least get some training in, Eva.”

  "It's okay, Nathan. I will manage it. You should lay down. I will make some soup for you." I walked to kitchen. "Do you have tomatoes?”

  "Yes, they are in the refrigerator."

  "I think you are in good hands.” James grabbed Nathan's shoulder and whispered something in his ear. I wondered what was said.

  "Thanks, James.” Nathan tried to smile, but it was very weak. My heart was breaking seeing him in that condition.

  "No worries. I will come and check on you tonight.”

  I stayed at Nathan's the whole day. My heart was filled with emotion for him. Plus, I just wanted to spend some time with him. I made him some soup, and he was soon sleeping again. I sat near his head, watching TV and caressing his hair.

  He was sleeping like an innocent baby and I wished that I could kiss him on his forehead, but he was ill and I didn't want to take advantage of the situation. I kept wondering about our relationship and where it was going. It was a strange mystery to me.

  He changed position in his sleep and his hand fell on my thigh, sending electricity through my body. I knew I was attracted to him, but this was different. It was kind of like I was in love with him. The more I’m near him, the more I want to be near him. I never felt that way with Jacob. The craving was building up inside me, and I wanted to tear his clothes every time he looked at me. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. But, at the same time, when I looked at him sleeping, my heart was filled with love. The only thought that came to my mind was him getting better. I was ready to spend as much time as he needed for his recovery. My exercise, my routine, and my schooling were all secondary to him. I looked at his sleeping face and knew that I was in love.