But Anna had far more important things to think about than a tough cowboy who was at least ten years older than her and probably married, besides. She had to gather herself together, refuel her mind and her body. Otherwise, after these next six weeks passed, she didn’t know whether she could make herself go back on the road again.
She loved playing the piano, but she was growing weary of the nomadic life and the demands of performing for an audience. The weight of her job was taking a toll on her body. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept the whole night through. Fatigue was her constant companion and her once-healthy appetite had almost vanished.
To please her parents last week, she’d gone for a medical checkup. When the doctor had assured Anna there was nothing physically wrong, both her mother and father had quickly assumed she was still grieving over her breakup with Scott. And Anna had found it easier to let them go on thinking she was simply suffering from a broken heart.
Truth was after she’d gotten over the initial shock of walking in and finding Scott in another woman’s arms, Anna had come to realize she had never loved him with the same wild, deep need that her mother and father felt for each other. She hadn’t been devastated when their relationship ended. She’d been relieved. And that in itself worried her. She was beginning to fear she was going to be like her birth mother, who’d flitted from one man and one bad relationship to the next.
With a heavy sigh, Anna reined the paint away from the ledge and headed her back down the mountain. The sun was dipping lower in the west, and her father would soon be home for supper. For his sake she was going to change clothes, put on her cheeriest face and make herself eat a whole plate of food.
Back at the stables there was no sign of Miguel Chavez. Although there were several wranglers working around the ranch yard doing last-minute evening chores, she unsaddled her mount, then brushed and fed her herself. The last thing she wanted was for word to get back to the foreman that she was a spoiled little rich girl. In her opinion the man was already far too smug. She didn’t want to give him reason to be even more so.
Later that evening after supper, Anna helped her mother clear away the dirty dishes, then Chloe carried a pot of coffee out to the courtyard at the back of the ranch house where redwood furniture was grouped beneath a stand of piñon pines.
Her father had taken about two sips when his pager beeped. Mumbling his annoyance, he checked the number, then rose to his feet. “Looks like I’m going to have to leave you two beautiful ladies. Sander’s Gas Exploration is calling.”
“We’ll try to do without you for a few minutes, darling,” Chloe told him.
Anna watched her father head back into the house, then with a little sigh, snuggled deeper into the cushioned chair.
“Are you cold, honey? Would you rather go back in?” Chloe asked her.
Cooler air had moved in with the night, but Anna had pulled on a sweater before she’d left the house. “No. I’m fine. It’s beautiful out tonight.”
A few feet away an oval swimming pool was edged with huge terra-cotta pots filled with geraniums, marigolds and zinnias. Anna wished the water was warm enough to dive into. She couldn’t remember when she’d taken the time for a leisurely swim. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone at anything in a leisurely way.
A few feet away, Anna’s mother, Chloe, studied her daughter’s quiet profile for several moments, then said, “I wish you were enjoying yourself more. You’ve been back on the ranch for three days now, and I don’t think I’ve heard you laugh yet.”
Anna twisted her head around to face her mother. “I’m enjoying myself, Mother. You know how long I’ve wanted to come home.”
Chloe didn’t look a bit convinced. “Yes. But now that you’re here I’m not so sure it’s what you were really needing.”
Grimacing, Anna rose from the chair and strolled over to the swimming pool. “Mother, please don’t tell me I’d be happier if I were out looking for a man. Men are off-limits!”
Chloe laughed, then just as quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, honey, I’m not laughing at you. I realize you’re miserable, but to hear you say your love life has ended is...ridiculous.”
Kneeling down near the edge of the pool, Anna trailed her fingers through the clear water. Just as she expected, it was still freezing. “I mean what I said earlier, Mother. I’m swearing off men. This last thing with Scott proved to me that they’re not to be trusted.”
She walked back over to where her mother sat stretched out on a chaise lounge, studying her with troubled eyes. “Believe me, Anna, I felt just as you did before I met your father. You haven’t forgotten that a man left me after we’d already planned to get married.”
Anna hadn’t forgotten the story Chloe had related to her years before. “I remember. You told him you couldn’t bear children and he ran out on you. How could you have wanted to marry a piece of scum like that?”
Chloe chuckled. “I could ask you the same thing about Scott? Why fret over someone who isn’t worth it?”
Sighing again, Anna lifted her eyes to the sky. The night was clear, and stars blazed by the millions over the mountains. Deep in her heart Anna was beginning to think this was where she really belonged, not in some civic center a thousand miles away.
“Believe me, Mother, Scott opened my eyes. If it wasn’t for seeing how much you and Daddy adore each other, I think I’d quit believing in love altogether.”
“Anna! You’re just angry now. Besides, what about your aunts, Rose and Justine? They’ve both had long, wonderful marriages. And now your cousins Emily and Charlie are both happily married.”
Chloe was right. Most of her relatives had been lucky in love. But her mother hadn’t mentioned Anna’s birth parents, Belinda and Tomas. The two of them had been terribly unlucky. In fact, Belinda had more or less died from a broken heart and so had Tomas. But Anna loved Chloe too much to bring up that painful part of their lives.
“Mother...I think it’s time I told you...I haven’t been totally honest with you and Dad.”
Chloe’s brow arched with surprise. “What do you mean? About you and Scott?” Before Anna could respond, the older woman’s mouth parted as another thought struck her. “Are you pregnant, darling? Is that why you’re not eating? If you’re worried—”
Anna quickly shook her head before her mother’s assumption got out of hand. “No. I’m not pregnant. Scott and I never... well, I guess deep down, something kept telling me not to sleep with him. But as for a baby, I would love to have a child. Just not by Scott. I’d at least want to respect the father.”
Chloe frowned with bewilderment. “If you’re not pregnant, then what—”
“I’m talking about me being so...so melancholy. I’m not grieving over my ended relationship with Scott. That’s all over and done with. I’m just overworked.”
The tense expression on Chloe’s face eased. “Of course you are, honey. That’s why you’re here on vacation. So you can rest and recuperate. And you will. You’ve only just gotten here. Give yourself time.”
Anna sighed. “I’m not so sure I want to go back, Mother. I’m not so sure I want to keep playing the piano professionally.”
Several moments passed in silence. Then, just as Anna was expecting her mother to burst out with shocked dismay, Chloe gentle smiled.
“Why haven’t you said anything about this before?”
“Because I didn’t want to upset you and Dad. I knew you would think I was losing my mind if I did.”
Chloe shook her head. “Anna, you must live your own life as you want to live it. Not as you think we want you to.”
Of course Anna should have expected her mother would say those words. And so would her father. They would hide their disappointment just to make their daughter happy.
“You would say that,” Anna mumbled.
“Since when have I or your father ever lied to you?”
Anna shook her head. “Not any time that I can ever remember. But I know how
much you’ve always wanted my career to go forward.”
“And it has,” Chloe agreed. “You’ve been making a great salary, you’ve traveled all over the world and seen all sorts of sights. But if your job is making you unhappy...then you need to stop and ask yourself what it is you really want.”
Anna went over to her mother’s chair, knelt down at the arm and pressed her hand over her mother’s. “I have been, Mother. And I think I fell in with Scott’s plans to get married not so much because I loved him or even needed him, but because I wanted children and a home and I thought he could give those things to me.”
Chloe’s gentle smile was understanding. “And you want those things more than you want to travel and play the piano.”
Anna’s head bobbed up and down. “Does that sound crazy?”
Chloe laughed softly, then reached over and patted her daughter’s cheek. “If it does then I’ve been crazy for the past twenty-five years.”
She hadn’t really meant to blurt all of this out to her mother this evening, but she felt a bit better for it.
Rising to her feet, Anna said, “Well, it does sound crazy, actually. A woman needs a man to have a home and children. And since I don’t want a man in my life, I’ve got to turn my attention to other things.”
“What other things?”
Anna’s slender shoulders lifted then fell. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just throw myself back into the music and forget about the children and the white picket fence. Maybe after six weeks of rest I’ll be itching to perform again.” A wan smile tilted her lips. “In the meantime, I’m simply going to enjoy being home. It was such a pleasure to ride Ginger this afternoon. Just being with the horses again is therapeutic for me.”
“I’m glad.”
Her lips suddenly thinned to a smirk. “By the way, I met your new foreman earlier before I went out riding. I didn’t realize Lester had left.”
Chloe nodded. “Lester had reached retirement age and he and his wife wanted to do some traveling.”
Lester had been on the Bar M for twenty years. He was a bowlegged, raw-boned, pipe smoker who’d rarely shown the top of his bald head to anyone. He’d been more or less like a grandpa to Anna and Adam and their younger sister, Ivy. Miguel Chavez was nothing like Lester.
“Where did you find Mr. Chavez?”
“Your uncle Roy knew him. Miguel lived in Carrizozo for several years. Before that, Albuquerque, I think. What did you think of him?”
Anna had thought far too many things. In fact, she was still wondering why that idiotic thought about his mouth had ever entered her head.
“Well, I’m sure he’s a strong, capable man or you wouldn’t have him here.”
A knowing little smile on her face, Chloe said, “Miguel is a good man, but he doesn’t profess to know all that much about racehorses. He sees to the cattle end of things and makes sure the cowhands do all the rough stable work for me.”
Anna’s brows lifted. Miguel Chavez possessed more than a striking appearance. Self-confidence oozed from every pore on the man. “He doesn’t know about horses? I don’t believe that for a minute.”
Chloe rose from the chaise lounge and stretched. “Well, of course he knows about horses. He rides like a man who was born in the saddle. But I’m talking about the ins and outs of racing.”
Anna glanced at her as another question struck her. “Is he...Miguel living in the old foreman’s house?”
The place she referred to was a midsize log structure built almost a mile south of the ranch house and halfway up the mountain. Anna had always been fond of the homestead. It was quiet and secluded and had a spectacular view of Sierra Blanca to the west.
Chloe nodded, then with an assessing gleam in her eye, added, “And he’s single. I think he was married years ago. I don’t know what happened. Apparently some woman dealt him some misery. I suppose, like you, he’s sworn off the opposite sex. Since he’s been here I haven’t seen him look sideways at one, much less have one to his house as a date.”
For some reason, Anna didn’t feel comfortable talking about Miguel Chavez’s personal life. He’d seemed a private person, one who kept his deeper thoughts to himself. She respected that, and anyway, it was no concern of hers whether the man was single or married or a masochist. She had her own problems to deal with.
“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Anna said, though she couldn’t help wondering if some woman had left him emotionally bruised and beaten. She sincerely doubted it. Miguel Chavez seemed too tough to have ever suffered a broken heart.
“Yes, I’m sure he’s had his reasons,” her mother said with a sigh. “But it seems such a shame. No one should be that alone.”
Her mother spoke with the same sort of fretfulness she might have used if she were talking about Adam, but that didn’t surprise Anna. Chloe wanted everyone she knew to be as happy as her. And in her mother’s eyes, love and happiness were synonymous.
“Maybe Miguel Chavez simply prefers his own company,” Anna said, then, looping her arm around her mother’s, she urged the other woman toward the house. “Let’s go in. The breeze is getting downright cold.”
“Wait a minute, darling, the coffeepot.” She walked over to a small table and picked up the insulated container, then rejoined her daughter. “Now back to Miguel—he doesn’t know what he prefers. He’s lived alone for so long, he’s forgotten what female companionship is all about.”
Chloe’s candor brought a pink flush to Anna’s cheeks. “Mother, I imagine Miguel Chavez has already forgotten more about women than the average man would know in a lifetime.”
Suddenly Chloe began to laugh, and Anna glanced at her sharply as the two of them entered the back door of the kitchen.
“You find that funny?”
Chloe’s laughter quickly sobered but a wide smile remained on her face. “No, dear. I’m just happy you noticed.”
Chapter Two
Early the next morning, Anna sat up in bed and pushed her long tousled hair away from her face. Birds were singing, and through the open blinds of a nearby window, she could see the gray light of dawn casting soft shadows across the courtyard beyond her bedroom. Her mother would already be at the stables. From the time Chloe had been old enough to follow Tomas Murdock on two sturdy legs, she had learned the rule of feeding the horses before herself.
The thought put a wry smile on Anna’s lips. Chloe’s reputation as a horse breeder and trainer didn’t stop at Lincoln County or even the state of New Mexico. People from as far as Louisiana, Arkansas and Kentucky had come to buy her yearlings.
Anna was very proud of her mother. She was equally as proud of her father, who was well-known in the gas and oil business. And now her brother, Adam, was making a name for himself as an oilman, too. Then there was her little sister, Ivy, who was studying hard to become a doctor. Each member of the family had a successful field they enjoyed working in. Anna would be the only quitter in the bunch if she turned her back on her musical career.
But she didn’t want to spoil the morning by dwelling on such deep thoughts. And anyway, she wasn’t going to be practicing piano today or listening to her road manager map out the next week’s agenda, she was going to help her mother in the stables and that was enough to lift her spirits.
By seven-thirty breakfast was over, and Anna accompanied her mother to the stables. Much to her chagrin, the first thing she saw when she entered the huge building was Miguel Chavez. He was dressed much the same as yesterday only a pair of batwing chaps had replaced the shorter chinks and rather than the straw, a brown felt hat was riding low on his forehead.
In spite of Anna’s vow to ignore the male gender, she couldn’t help but be struck by the man’s looks. He had something more than just pleasant features. There was a sensuousness about him, a blatant masculinity that made her very aware of his dark hair and skin, his broad shoulders, lean hips and long strong legs. And as she and her mother drew closer, Anna’s heart raced with foolish anticipation. Of what, she didn’t kn
ow. She only knew this man struck some sort of chord in her that she hadn’t even known she possessed.
“Good morning, Miguel,” Chloe greeted him warmly.
He turned from the horse he was saddling and nodded in greeting. “Good morning, Chloe, Anna.”
“I see you’re taking Rimrock out today,” Chloe remarked. “How’s his ankle?”
“The swelling is down and he’s had a rest for the past couple of days, so I thought I would use him today and see what happens.”
“Are you starting roundup this morning or later this week?” Chloe asked him. “I know you wanted to have everything else caught up before you began.”
Miguel inclined his head. “This morning is the beginning,” he answered. “I expect the job will take at least a week.”
Chloe glanced suggestively at Anna. “Darling, why don’t you saddle Ginger and ride along with Miguel? I’m sure he’d be glad for the extra help, and I know how much you always enjoyed roundup.”
Anna’s mouth popped open. Ride along with Miguel?
“Mother! Miguel doesn’t want to be bothered. The man has work to do.”
Chloe grimaced at her, then turned back to her foreman. “Miguel, I assure you Anna is a first-rate cowgirl. Since she started her music career, she hasn’t done much of it, but she can probably outrope and outride half the cowboys you’ll be using today.”
Miguel’s brows arched ever so slightly as his hazel eyes skittered up and down Anna’s slender figure. She was wearing black jeans and matching jacket. Beneath its opening he could see a pale pink knit shirt that clung to her breasts like an eager hand. She looked anything but a cowgirl. “Is that true, Anna?”
The way he said her name with just the faintest bit of accent made a tiny shiver race down her spine. Her gaze drifting to a pearl snap in the middle of his chest, she said, “I’m sure you know mothers are biased.”
Chloe rolled her eyes and tapped the toe of her boot. “Miguel knows I don’t exaggerate. But if you’d rather not go, you can stay here and help me groom a few of the yearlings.”
The Cowboy And The Debutante Page 2
