I didn’t say anything—couldn’t say much at that moment. She wanted me to tell her everything, and it was on the tip of my tongue as to why I didn’t want to elaborate, but I just couldn’t fucking do it. I didn’t want to bring it up again. It would only hurt me in the end.
“Wow,” she laughed dryly with glistening eyes. “I guess your stunned silence answers the question.”
She stormed inside, grabbing the handle of her suitcase, and then slammed the door in my face.
TWENTY-THREE
Chanel
I was so frustrated—so hurt and annoyed—that I needed to get out. I needed to breathe, escape. I couldn’t stay in the same building as him. I felt suffocated, just knowing he was a floor away and could come knocking at any time or worse, not knock at all.
I should have known that was all I was to him. I mean, I’d just met the guy. Why would he have wanted more than just my body? My career was both a blessing and a curse. Men didn’t want me for my heart or personality. They only wanted me for my body and for me to look good on their arm.
That’s why I didn’t date much, why I put this career first and cared less and less about settling. Riley had ripped my heart to shreds, ruining me for everyone else, and then Kobe barged right in, and I couldn’t help but want to know more about him, while also wanting more from him.
I shouldn’t have pried. I should have kept to myself. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.
My bodyguard of all fucking people.
After changing into spandex pants and a hoodie, I tugged on a baseball cap and headed for the elevator. As soon as I got outside, I started a light jog. I didn’t care that it was so cold my lungs felt like they were going to freeze—didn’t care that people were watching me or wondering why I was jogging in such cool weather.
I just needed a moment to inhale and think clearly—forget about the weekend and what’d just happened.
I made my way down the block, jogging through the city as the cars’ bright lights flashed on my face. My earphones were plugged in and Sam Smith’s voice filled my eardrums, soothing the ache in my chest.
My jog transitioned to a run, and I ran so fast I felt like my lungs were going to burst. I reached the entrance of the park and then I stopped, taking one of my earphones out, bending over, and planting my palms on my knees. I dragged in a few deep breaths, shut my eyes and thought about earlier.
I couldn’t stand him.
And what pissed me off even more was that he didn’t attempt to change my mind and make me think otherwise. He didn’t bother to call my name and stop me. Didn’t knock and demand I open the door. He just stood there like an idiot.
I stood up straight again, but before I could plug the earphone back in and continue my jog, a deep, familiar voice called my name.
His voice.
I looked over my shoulder and Kobe was jogging toward me wearing a gray zip-up jacket, the hood over his head. The heat of his breath swirled in the air, as he reached me, breathing heavily.
“I told you not to leave the building without me,” he said.
“Does it matter? You won’t be my bodyguard for long anyway.”
His lips twisted, his brown eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “Is that what you want? For me to go?”
I shrugged with a huff.
“Then I might as well start packing my shit. No point in sticking around where I’m not wanted.”
I frowned at him, taking a step away. “Whatever, Kobe. Do what you want.”
I turned, ready to take off for a sprint this time and get as far away from him as possible, but he caught my arm. His hard eyes landed on mine as he twisted me around and hauled me into him.
He cupped my face in his large hands and dropped his forehead to mine. “Stop making this so fucking hard for me,” he breathed raggedly.
“You’re only making it hard for yourself,” I exhaled, shaking my head. “Just stop this. Seriously. What’s the point anymore? It’s not going anywhere.”
He pulled his forehead from mine, studying my face, but mostly my eyes.
“No,” he said, and he did something I wasn’t expecting, but so badly needed in that moment.
He kissed me hard and deep, his lips dominating mine, taking exactly what he wanted in this moment. I moaned behind it, wanting so badly to pull away, but my body not daring to resist.
I loved this. I loved it so much I almost couldn’t stand it.
I loved when he put his hands on me—loved when he took everything from me without permission. Kobe did things to me that I used to dream of. He was the kind of man I craved—assertive, possessive, dominant, his hunger for me insatiable.
He pulled back and the kiss left me feeling even more breathless than before. I stared up at him. His hands were still holding my face, his eyes burning with sincerity.
“You were wrong, Chanel,” he rumbled on my lips. “At first, yeah, I noticed your body. What man in his right mind wouldn’t? I also noticed the dim spark in your eyes that so badly wanted to break through and shine. And it did shine. I saw it every time we got together. Every time you looked at me, that spark would overwhelm the fuck out of me because you aren’t supposed to see the light in me. You aren’t supposed to give a damn about me. But I’ll be damned if I let you run around this city thinking that’s all you are to me. We’ve spent too much time together this past week and this connection is too damn strong for me to just consider you a piece of ass. You’re more, so much more, and it blows my fucking mind that feeling this way about you happened so quickly.”
I was speechless.
Never, in all my years—during my rise to fame and success—had I heard a man speak this way to me. No one had even come close to making me feel this way, like fireworks were blasting behind me, like a wave of heat and desire was coursing through my veins.
I never wanted Kobe more than I did in that moment.
“Say you promise,” I whispered on his lips.
“I swear it. You’re more to me. And if I lose this job and have a fucked up reputation because of it, then so be it. I’ll never regret meeting or caring about you.”
My mind raced. I had so much to say, but only one sentence came out. “Take me home.”
TWENTY-FOUR
Kobe
I didn’t know what this girl was doing to me.
When she slammed that door in my face, I went to my apartment, and all I could think about was her. I kept asking myself why? Why not just tell her? Why not just let her know? I knew she wouldn’t tell anyone.
That defeat I saw in her eyes, the sadness that swept over her, that shit cut me deep. I knew her well, though. I knew she wasn’t going to stay in her apartment.
So, I waited in the lobby by the stairs so she wouldn’t see me and when she started jogging, so did I. But I kept my distance. She started going faster, and I knew she was pissed, using her body to rid the stress.
I meant what I said to her in the park. I cared about her, probably a little too much, and I was most likely going to lose my job and ranking in that magazine once this came to light, but I didn’t give a fuck anymore and I didn’t hold back.
She was a good girl. A smart girl. She’d been trampled over, her heart battered and bruised by the men that came before me. I didn’t want to become a part of the number. Chanel deserved happiness, even if it was only for a little while.
So, when I took her back to the apartment, stumbled inside with our lips locked, I kicked the door closed and picked her up, carrying her to the bed.
We stripped each other until we were bare and I looked at her—looked at her like this would be my last time ever seeing her naked. She had the perfect body, full supple tits, her pussy waxed between her legs.
I couldn’t hold off any longer.
I walked forward, bringing one hand up to hold one side of her face, nudging her back slowly with my body until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she had no choice but to sit. She laid back and spread her legs wide o
pen, showing me her pussy.
I knelt on the mattress, bringing her long, silky legs around me and lowering down, the head of my cock already inside her.
She let out a shaky breath, watching my eyes, my face. “I want you to stay forever,” she whispered to me. Trust me, I wanted to stay too. All of this felt too good to let go of. She clasped my face in her hands, tilted her hips, and welcomed me in.
I groaned hard, breathing into her mouth before sucking on her bottom lip. She whimpered as I worked my hips, pushing deeper, dragging my mouth from hers to the crook of her neck.
I sucked on her salty skin, giving her stroke after stroke. I swear having her wrapped around me made me want to come at the drop of a hat, but I had to make this last. Her naked body molded to mine, one of her hands dropping to grip my hip and guide me deeper.
“I care about you a lot too, Kobe,” she murmured.
“Swear you’ll never forget me,” I groaned in her ear.
“Never, baby. I promise.”
I cupped one of her ass cheeks in hand, bringing her knee up with the other, watching her eyes create that same spark again. I watched her tits bounce with the momentum, her thick moans falling through parted lips.
Dropping my head, I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. She moaned when I did, and then her fingernails bit into my hips, dragging upward toward the middle of my back.
“Oh, Kobe,” she moaned, her voice vibrating as her body trembled.
“Come for me, baby,” I growled around her nipple.
She clutched me tighter, holding me still, and I let out a low groan, squeezing her ass in my hand, coming hard in her sweet little pussy.
My breaths were heavy as I picked my head up, looking into her eyes, but hers were already glistening.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she whispered, crying softly as if she knew this would end soon, as if she knew this wasn’t going to last.
I shook my head, rolling onto my back and grabbing her, bringing her head to my chest. “Sacrifices have to be made, Chanel. I can’t be with you and be your bodyguard too.”
“I know, but I don’t want another one. I do so well around you. I’m always confident at my photo shoots. I sleep better at night knowing you’re around—and I swear I’m not just saying that. I hardly slept before. Ever.” Her damp eyes met mine. “I’m not going to walk away, and even if my dad finds out somehow, I won’t let him fire you.”
“It’s probably what’s best at this point. I want you so bad I can’t even think straight. I’ll be too focused on you to keep watch of anything suspicious.”
“I don’t care.” She sat up, looking me deeper in the eyes. Her lips found mine and I held her close, groaning and sighing behind the kiss. When she pulled back, she said, “I’m tired of him treating me like I’m twelve. If I want you, I should be able to have you however and whenever I want.”
I let out a ragged breath. “You’re going to get me killed, Chanel. He said his brother is the Sheriff of New York.”
“Oh my goodness. He always uses that against someone. For one, he’s my mom’s brother, not my dad’s, and my dad always threatens people with that. But you’re no threat to me. He’ll know it if I just tell him.”
I started to protest again but she pressed a finger to my lips, her head doing a simple shake as she lowered down. “Just stop talking,” she said with her lips around my cock. “It’s my turn to take care of you now.”
Chanel sucked and rode my cock like a pro, and as she did, I realized there was really no way in hell I was going to be able to walk away from this girl.
TWENTY-FIVE
Chanel
I woke up before Kobe the next morning, lying next to him, watching him sleep. We were both still naked in my bed, under the sheets. He slept peacefully for the most part. Didn’t snore or make weird noises. I watched him for about an hour with so many questions on my mind.
There were still things I wanted to know, so as soon as he rolled over and opened his brown eyes to meet mine, I asked the question that’d been weighing heavily on my mind.
“Why did you take a year off from work?”
He shifted a little, his barely-there smile fading. “How do you know about that?” he asked, tone serious but still filled with sleep.
“My dad told me. Said it made him suspicious when he first hired you, and now it has me curious because no one knows.”
“Oh, fuck, Chanel. We had a great night,” he griped. “Do I really need to fill you in right now? This fucking early?”
I propped my elbow on the mattress, my chin in my hand. “Yes, you need to fill me in, Kobe. This is important to me so tell me already.”
He let out an agitated groan, looking away. He was quiet for a few seconds, most likely contemplating. “I took off for my wife.”
I sat up, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. “What? You’re married?”
“Not anymore. That’s—that’s over now,” he responded quickly, and my guard lowered again, relief washing over me like a tidal wave. His eyes seemed to sadden when he said that. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Maybe she broke his heart. Maybe he was cheated on, and that’s why he didn’t want anything serious right now.
“Why take so much time off? A year is a really long time to be out of commission…”
He ran a rough hand over his face, looking anywhere else but at me. He then shoved out of the bed, bending over to pick up his T-shirt and jogging pants. “Damn it, Chanel. I really don’t want to fucking talk about this right now.”
“Wait—” I dragged the sheets with me, climbing off the bed. “Wait, Kobe. Just—please. Tell me what happened,” I pleaded. “You can talk to me. I won’t tell a soul, I promise.” I was desperate to know. Whatever it was, it was cutting him deep, hurting his heart. I could tell from the sad, guilty look in his eyes alone.
His forehead creased, eyebrows pinching together. Relief struck me when he let out a hard, long breath, cursing beneath it as he sat back down on the edge of the bed with his shoulders hunched.
I sat beside him, giving him all my attention.
He was quiet for a long time—so long that the busy Manhattan streets sounded too close. He stared down at his hands, his head doing a slight shake from side to side. “I took the time off because she was sick.”
“Sick? With what?”
“Breast cancer. She was stage four and didn’t have long to live. So, I spent the final days she had left by her side.”
Oh. My heart thumped a little harder. I knew it was something, but I didn’t think it would be this. I suddenly felt like the world’s biggest bitch for even asking.
“I was working so fucking much, building my life so she wouldn’t have to find a job, and so she could be happy. We bought a condo here in Manhattan, in a private and quiet area. But I was hardly ever there. I worked so damn much that she spent most of her time alone. Instead of being behind her and having her back, I was behind other people, protecting their lives when I should have been protecting hers.” He lifted his head and I caught the shimmer in his eyes. He dropped his gaze to the floor again. “She didn’t tell me she was sick until two months prior to her passing away. As soon as she told me, I backed out of the job to be with her. She refused to go through chemotherapy.” He laughed a little. “She was a hippy that way—free spirit. Rebellious and didn’t care about some of the laws and not about politics either. She didn’t believe in having chemicals pumped into her body. She wanted to go out the most natural way possible. So, she let the cancer eat her alive from the inside.” His throat bobbed. “I would spend months—months—away from her. Working so much. Calling and not even noticing how feeble she sounded. She kept it a secret for so long that by the time she told me, it was already too late for me to do anything about it.” He sighed hard. “When she died, it took me months to recover from the loss, but after paying for the funeral, and with the bills piling up on me, my savings started running low. I couldn’t live in the condo we shared anym
ore so I finally sold it. She was everywhere in that place—her smell, the memories we shared. Everywhere. After moving to a one-bedroom apartment in the heart of the city, I decided it was time to start looking for work again. I looked, but I didn’t take the plunge until a few more months had passed and I felt ready. I did it for her—to keep my head up and move on. Live my life with no regrets like I promised her I would.” He looked up at me through damp lashes. “I applied to a few jobs, found a good, well-paying one, and then I started working to protect you.”
“God, Kobe.” My words were meaningless. What was I to say? I felt horrible for forcing that story out of him. So selfish. “Why didn’t you just tell me it had something to do with losing a loved one? Something where I wouldn’t push for more.”
“It was too soon. Still raw. I didn’t want to talk about it at all.”
“I would have understood.”
“I know you would have.” He smiled softly. “It might sound crazy, but you remind me of her. Your free spirit. Your rebellious attitude. There are a lot of similarities, but still so many differences.”
I smashed my lips together, warmth coursing through me, blooming in my cheeks.
“That’s why I kept my mouth shut, told you we couldn’t get in too deep. It was starting to feel too real. I’m just the bodyguard—”
“No, you’re not just the bodyguard.” I grabbed his face, putting his eyes on mine. “You’re more than that to me and you know it. Don’t say that.”
“I can’t be with you, Chanel. Your father won’t have it and my career is all I have now. My reputation, as well as yours, is on the line.”
Caress: The Nora Heat Collection Page 10
