by Savannah May
My curiosity was peaking as I watched the intense pleasure all around me. Despite my preconceptions, far from being used and abused, all the participants appeared to be in full control of their own desires and freely indulging them. It was rather liberating just watching such wanton abandonment of all physical inhibitions. I could not stop from wondering what it might feel like to indulge in some of those passions.
“So this is where you sneak off to at night,” the growl from the side of me was a familiar and detested voice. I spun around to see my father staring at me with a look of pure disgust. Why I call him Father is a total mystery. Somehow my mother managed to coerce me into using that name rather than Michael, which she said was too familiar for my step-father. I wished she would have asked him to be less familiar with me, as on a number of occasions he had leered at my chest when we passed in the hall and once he'd whispered, “If I were ten years younger you'd be in trouble.”
I could not wait to get a proper job and my own apartment and get out of there. My own home had become an uncomfortable environment to be in. Every night I could I stayed with Lily, telling my parents the subway was not safe. But it was only possible when her roommate was out of town, otherwise they had an agreement between them of no guests.
They'd subdivided the one bedroom of the tiny city apartment into two with a screen. Lily apologized for the cramped quarters but to me it seemed like paradise. I'd give anything to get that first place of my own, complete with independence and no one telling me what to do, what to wear, and demanding when would I be back.
“I knew I had you figured for a secret little slut, my senses never let me down,” Michael snarled at me.
“This is my first time here,” I stuttered, not that I owed him any explanation. He wasn't my real father and had only been married to my mother just over a year ago. “I came to meet someone.”
“I bet you did you fucking little tramp. Is this how you like it? Rough and ready?”
“No. I had no idea what went on here.” Why was I trying to explain myself when I should have been standing up to him and telling him not to speak to me in that filthy disrespectful way?
More to the point what was he doing here? I had no doubt my straight-laced mother wasn't here with him and would not be happy to discover he frequented a place like this.
“Does Mom know-?”
“I've seen how you look at me,” Michael interrupted. “Does your mother know what a whore you are around her boyfriends?”
He reached out and squeezed my breast in his hand, groping it hard like a baseball. I was speechless with shock and, pleased with my outrage, he yanked the loosely draping sequin top up over my bare breasts so I was topless in front of an unwitting audience who no doubt figured my step-father and I were indulging our fantasies.
I opened my mouth to tell him to get off me as he clamped a heavy palm over my lips and nose so it was almost impossible to breathe. His other hand mounded one tit then the other, squashing and pushing them around like dough. His hot breath was ragged in my ear as he continued to tell me what a gorgeous slut whore I was.
“Beautiful tits. I've wanted to see them hanging naked as much as you've been desperate to show me them.” He pulled and tweaked on the nipples painfully. “You want to get fucked in the ass, baby girl? Tell me how you want it and I'll give it to you good.”
The harder I tried to fight him off me, the more he became inflamed, his breath coming faster. His thick thigh was between my legs and I felt the huge mound of his cock pressed into my hip, holding me down and preventing me from kicking out at him. The patrons looked on at our little game, eager for the forced rape fantasy to get to its good part. My father figure was loving every moment, the more I fought the more he pinioned me and squeezed my sore breasts.
My scream was stifled under his palm when Michael bent down and suckled my nipple ferociously into his hot mouth while his hand slid down my stomach and groped into the groove between my legs. He forced his way between my compressed inner thighs, into the crevasse. My heart pounded wildly and painfully as I struggled for air and bucked uselessly under the weight of his hold. His hand fumbled to the button at the waistband and I knew my mother's husband was going to take me, right in front of a crowd of indolent sexual players.
Hard as I cried out with my eyes, none of them would have any idea that this was real sexual abuse rather than role-playing. They no doubt assumed I was getting off on it as much as my step-father. In an instant I'd be a whore for real, just as he kept accusing me. He was wrenching the zip of my pants down and I closed my eyes tight, tugging for air in my burning lungs.
“What the fuck is going on here?” A voice of malevolent gravel beside me as my father was jacked off my sore breast.
“Get away from me Cole, this has nothing to do with you,” Michael growled. Cole? They knew each other? How could my handsome billionaire past love possibly know my seedy step-father? They moved in completely different worlds. I was actually amazed that Michael had the wherewithal, meaning funds, to come to a place like Illicit.
“This has everything to do with me. This is my club and I don't believe you have been approved for membership,” Cole said softly, putting a protective arm around me as I pulled my clothing back down. I clung to him as though I was drowning and he was my rock. Once again this man had rescued me from life-changing abuse, just one of the reasons I adored him totally.
Now his calm demeanor prevented any discomfort among his well-to-do members but his face staring down at Michael was stone cold loathing. My step-father bucked against the solid restraint of the wonderful bulldog doorman holding him back from attacking Cole with a grip of iron. Two other tuxedo-ed elegant but burly men appeared, although the bulldog was a powerhouse of solid muscle who needed no assistance. They provided a wall shielding us.
“How did you get in here?” Cole continued.
“Who the fuck are you to question me? Don't forget where you come from,” Michael sneered, not at all intimidated by Cole's power.
“Get him out of here,” Cole said to his men. “Quietly.”
In seconds Michael was smoothly hustled to a firedoor behind the velvet drape. As the door swung closed on its pistoned hinges, he turned to hurl one last sneering barb at Cole. “Aren't you sweet, taking care of your little sister?”
“I'm so sorry he attacked you like that. Are you okay?” Cole said, his eyes looked down, searching my face.
“I think so” I said, although in truth I was shaking all over and hanging on to Cole to prevent myself slithering to the ground on my tremoring legs. “What- what did he mean by taking care of your little sister?”
“Come with me.” Cole took my hand and led me across the floor.
“No,” I snapped and snatched my hand from his solid grip. “Tell me what he meant. How do you know that man?”
“I have no idea what he meant. He's an idiot, always has been and I'm ashamed to call him my father.” Cole reached for my wrist again but I veered away from him.
“Your father? Michael’s your father?” No! My entire body and soul let out a silent howl. It could not be possible, of all the millions of men in the city, how could it be that I had very nearly fucked my step-brother just hours before?
“Can you please just come with me, out of this mess where we can be alone?” Cole stepped in close to me so I felt the heat from his gorgeous chest, smelt his divine masculine scent. “I need to be with you, Harlow,” he whispered into my hair.
“No,” I screamed, attracting interest from the members close to us with a word rarely uttered in that nightmarish place.
“Calm down,” Cole stroked the side of my head. “You've had a shock. Just come and sit quietly for a while.”
“I am calm,” I replied, again pulling away from him. “We can never be together like that again, ever. What we did was so wrong and I'm only glad we didn't take it any further.”
I felt sorry for the confusion and pain in his precious face, but tears were pushing up
from the wells of my eyes, threatening to spill over and make me an even bigger little fool in front of all the sophisticated guests. I had to get out of there, away from those indolent eyes observing us, away from Cole and the impossible pull I felt toward him. He was forbidden to me forever now.
Chapter FOUR
Cole
After Harlow ripped her arm away from me and ran out of the club, I hightailed it back to my private office suite away from the prying eyes. No one had really noticed my father's ejection or Harley's escape as they had plenty more of interest to observe.
In truth, I wanted to be alone to lick at my wounds in private. Her words had ripped into me as no other woman's recriminations had ever done. And there had been plenty of those in the past from all the women I'd let down and disappeared on. But never like that.
Usually they were screaming at me for taking advantage, getting them into a sex game for my amusement. As though I ever promised any more. I was very careful never to give them any idea that I was offering a permanent romance, or any kind of romance. I always seemed to attract the kind of woman that pretended to be open for anything and free spirited as a way to entice me and bind me to her. Because of that, it had been a long time since I'd been with anyone I hadn't bid on. Privately of course, through one of the substitute bidders available at the club for those heads of state or visiting royals that needed to maintain absolute secrecy.
Strike came into the office, looking sheepish about the screw up and also eyeing me strangely. For sure he knew what I was going through. I'd never been able to hide anything from him and no longer bothered trying.
“All set boss, I thought we'd lost her and she'd gone before I got your call to keep her safe, but Taden caught up with her and has her under surveillance. Just as well, wandering around dressed like that, a beaut like her.”
“And that bastard isn't out there on the streets anywhere close by her?” I could not stomach the thought of my father getting within a thousand miles of her ever again.
“No. Tad called the cab company and had one pass by to pick her up all natural looking, plus a second for him, making sure he didn't lose her. Here's the address.” He slid a piece of paper across the desk like a state secret and I grabbed it with equal urgency. “She's a feisty one alright. Why'd she take off in such a hurry?”
“I don't feel like discussing it,” I snapped, shutting Strike out as I never did. We shared everything, our innermost shit, unusual for guys but not many guys had lived through and seen what we had. “Did you find out how that asshole got through your security?” Spike had never once let me down like that.
“That was a major error by the new guy. Once in a million. When I couldn't get service to call you to let you know the eagle had landed, in the form of the stunning Miss Harlow, I stepped inside for moments. While we were talking, that dude came to the door saying he was your Uncle with a message to give you from your father. He had picture ID of yours and Bronson, the new lad, he's only twenty-three, thought he was doing you a favor letting him in. Do you want me to fire him?”
“Immediately. We cannot have any breaches of any kind, no excuses. The guys need more stringent training.”
“Understood. It won't happen again.”
“No,” I said, deciding not to deflect my anger on the kid. “Just read him a riot act so he shapes up to our specifications. And don't ever let that asshole within stalker range of me or my clubs ever again.”
I dismissed Strike, wanting to be alone with the conflict pulling me apart. Why had Harlow run off like that? She'd had a traumatic experience with my bastard father but it hadn't seemed to bother her that much, not until he made that crack about looking after my baby sister. Then she really freaked out, suddenly blaming me and took off without giving me the chance to tell her what a liar and a cheat he was. He's been tailing me around for over a week now. Strike was on to him the first day and I had Taden stick with me to keep him under watch in case he got nasty.
I was pretty sure he'd somehow gotten wind of my new fortune and decided to come back into my life to grab himself a share. No doubt he'd have one of his hard luck loser excuses to manipulate me into handing over a few bucks that I'd never see again.
He must have flipped out when he saw what goes on at Illicit and the sort of clientele it goes on between. Fuck, if he decides to go to the newspapers, or those rags that print lurid celebrity goss, I could be out of business in a flash. The application process was very strict so as to weed out all the gossip hounds.
I'd deal with that, or rather Strike would. What my ace minder could not sort out for me was the empty hollow in my gut from having Harlow disappear like that without telling me what had spooked her. I let myself fall straight back into the feelings I'd unknowingly held for her all these years and left myself wide open to her. What was it about her, as opposed to the many others I'd had since, that held me in her thrall?
I had to get control of myself and not allow her to have so much influence over me. I'd made sure she was safe, back at her apartment, maybe I should leave well enough alone and forget about her. Obviously her freak out had to do with my business. I figured she'd be surprised by Illicit but I thought I knew her well enough to be confident in her opening up to the exquisite pleasure of liberation we offer the clients. One thing that really attracted me to her before was her eagerness to learn and discover all the world's beautiful pleasures. She'd been through some tough times that was pretty clear even without her telling me, but still she exuded a positive belief in the goodness and beauty that existed and remain determined to discover it.
Her amazing attitude kept me going through the darkest hours in foreign countries. Strike and I up all night, thirty-six hours at a stretch, watching the endless sands for a minute movement. Trained to shoot and check whether it was a woman or child after the kill. If I hadn't kept the memory of sweet Harley and her belief in goodness, I might have caved under the horror of the requirements I was ordered to fulfill without question.
At least the after midnight invite I'd given her meant she missed the auctions. That was an event a liberated woman might have some trouble getting her head around. Why a woman would eagerly put herself forward to be auctioned off for one night of unadulterated sexual slavery to whichever of the richest and most powerful men in the world was the highest bidder.
Hell, she wasn't obliged to participate, I would never force her into anything, but I did expect her to be open to tasting. She might discover another side of femininity. It was what drew the women here for the most part, the desire to surrender to someone stronger.
Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps her sweet innocence and genuine personality had been nothing but another fantasy in my mind all these years. It's a dangerous game to let love live on in your head where it can grow out of all proportion to reality.
Harlow
I woke up when Lily came home around noon, feeling like I'd been hit by a truck after ten hits of crack.
“You aren't going to believe where I've been girlfriend, oh my,” Lily drew up short on seeing me curled up fetal in her bed. “You look terrible. Is the headache really bad?”
“I haven't felt this dreadful since Dan's bar, remember?”
“Oh yeah, your first time drinking tequila slammers with the guys from college. But you haven't touched tequila since. I thought it made you gag.”
“I didn't drink a drop last night. Seems like crying and heartbreak are as toxic to the body as pure alcohol.”
“Crying and heartbreak? I thought you came home for an early night. What the hell happened? Come on, spill.”
I didn't know how to begin. Lily and I had gotten closer since college but she knew nothing of my feelings for Cole. She'd have put it down to first time infatuation and told me it was time to move on. I'd buried my emotions well and tried to forget Cole had ever been the driving force in my life. How he'd saved me from the drunk college guys in the alley outside the bar. I was such an uptight little prude in high school and looked down m
y nose at any boy who asked me out, sure they were only after one thing.
The guys were drunk that night and although there was never an excuse for pushing a woman, it was partly my fault for thinking it was safe to wander around the empty streets at night dressed in bar clothes. My head was always in the clouds and I was far too trusting. It would probably get me into trouble my whole life.
There was no fighting off the three of them, kissing me and fondling me through my clothes but in places I'd never been touched by anyone. Then Cole had appeared at the corner and shouted down the alley. They'd ignored him, thinking one dude was no match for three but Cole was a powerhouse.
There was a fury pent up inside of him that he let loose on the first and second guys so hard, the third ran off like a girl. He insisted on seeing me home safely and checked in on me the following day. He was so sweet. Even with that fierce frown, his constant look of confusion, he was so caring.
“Harley, come on. What's got you so upset? I don't think I've ever seen you like this,” Lily broke into my vivid visit to the past. How was I going to explain it? It was just so impossible, of all the men in this city, Cole had turned out to be the son of my hateful new step-father. Which made him instant family. I gave a little shudder with the slightly tacky thought that I'd been that intimate with my own brother and tears welled up in my puffy eyes all over again.
“Harlow what is it? Tell me.” Lily came and sat on her bed, pulling me into her cozy embrace where I really let rip. Between deep sobs I tried to explain, stuttering as I hauled breath into my lungs.
“Just imagine when I tell my husband in the future, when he asks about my first time and I have to tell him it was in a public washroom with my own brother. Obviously I am never going to get married now that I'm no better than trailer trash.”
“Harl, slow down, you're not making sense. What husband? What brother? I thought you were an only child.” I knew I was rambling and incoherent, mixing up the events of now and then, letting out the tumble of thoughts gushing through my head.
