by Savannah May
I should never have gone to Illicit. We never managed to complete our re-connection thanks to that club. Now we were further apart than we'd ever been and it was all my fault. On three separate occasions in our lives, Cole had rescued me from danger and abuse and I'd shown him absolutely no gratitude.
Instead, I shut myself off from him and refused to discuss how I really felt. True, I was a little afraid of the activities at Illicit and how many of those games Cole would expect me to perform with him. That in itself was shameful for me. How could I openly announce to a man I hungered for sexually that I was scared of sex and letting myself go? What if I couldn't compete with the sexually avaricious women he must be used to now?
The thought of disappointing him when I wanted him so desperately was beyond bearing. And how could I admit to humiliation at the hands of his father? He'd be sure to find me dirty and soiled if not right away, then later. A man who deserved to be impressed and in awe of his woman didn't need a frightened and victimized little girl hanging around.
“Penny, I have to get up,” I said. It was still a huge struggle to push myself into sitting position, but I was a little stronger now.
“You lie right back down.” She eased my arms out from supporting me and pressed me gently back into the soft mound of pillows.
“Am I your prisoner?” I laughed.
“Master's orders,” she said. “Mr Winter says you are not to leave this room until you're fully healed. I'm to watch over you and make sure that's all you focus on.”
I was still sore enough to allow her to restrain me. I had nowhere to go, a genuine homeless waif, but more than anything I wasn't sure I could leave Cole knowing I'd never be this close to him again. Even though we were doomed never to be together, one thing that would never heal was my yearning to hold his ripped torso in my arms and feel him plunge deep inside me.
That night I had a dream. I was shackled at the wrists in double handcuffs with my arms raised above my head and locked into a contraption that also locked my ankles spread wide. The wood and metal apparatus held me firmly bent forward with my back arched so my breasts were shoved forward and up. Behind me, a masked man, his naked torso just visible, raised a leather crop high above his shoulder. I trembled from my chest all the way down my legs with what was about to happen and because I had never been trapped in such a vulnerable position.
My entire sex was on full view to the anonymous man standing behind me and he was staring at it with rapt attention for an age. Mixed with the deep fear, I could not deny the quivers of excitement thrilling through me at the same time. I was exposed and helpless, and it was making my naked pussy shiver.
The man brought the leather down hard on my naked butt cheeks, slashing across the tender flesh over and over with intense vigor. I screamed out loud although somehow I knew that was forbidden and would ignite more fire under my punishment. Was that what this was? Was I being punished for some misdemeanor or was I a prisoner trapped in this cage for some strange man's amusement.
My captor took a slow walk around the head of the cage structure I was held in. Slow paces passed my ears, then strong but elegant bare feet came into my eyeline. By stretching my eyes hard forward, I could see the thighs and body enough for closer examination and knew immediately my tormentor was Cole.
I'd know that ripped and carved torso anywhere. That muscular chest had haunted my thoughts for years and was now in front of me, covered with a slick of glistening sweat. My breath caught in my throat as my heart expanded to twice its size, my bare breasts heaved up and down as I gasped for air. Cole was beating me. The man who had been a savior to me on more than one occasion was punishing me.
His fury was no doubt directed at my inability or refusal to give him what we both needed. What was wrong with me? I'd craved Cole, looked for him everywhere for six years and now that I had him, I was pushing away. Something terrified me deeper than receiving physical pain and questions ravaged my mind. Perhaps I was scared of the possibility of actually getting what I wanted. I could do this. I could surrender to the man I adored if it would make him happy. I wanted nothing more than to see Cole's frown replaced with contentment.
My open folds began to dampen with him so close. The cool air made the skin more sensitive and my body quivered with piquant thrills. Would he still make love to me after the punishment? My need to feel him fill me was more powerful than ever. I trusted him totally. He had saved me more than once and his caring for me was never-ending. If he wanted this, I was determined to give it to him. My breath was running so fast, enthralled by my helplessness before him, tiny bursts of heat fired through my chest.
He walked back around me and stopped between my spread open legs. I shuddered, expecting the vicious lash across my scalding cheeks. Steeling myself for the agony, instead a tempestuous thrill as fat fingers corkscrewed into my stretched wide hole. I clenched from the surprise assault and then because I craved more of his thrust deep inside me.
When he withdrew sharply and rolled my juices between his fingertips, I felt the torment of an empty pussy. Then he unclipped the black leather mask, uncovered his face and the sight of him made me recoil with a horrified clasp of breath. I woke up thrashing my arms, beating back the silk sheets that were soaked with sweat. The lascivious lust I had felt at being in that position with Cole turned to instant disgust. Cole had been the man in the mask, but it was Michael who'd removed it. In my dream I was determined that Michael was not going to touch me and would fight against him with all my might.
My heart leapt and I hauled the sodden silk sheet back up around my chin as protection against the sudden movement of a shadow across the room. All cloaked in black, it came closer and closer, stretching out a claw toward my face, then covering my eyes in cool relief. A very gentle hand stroked the wet tendrils of hair away from their plastering to my cheeks and moved the damp cloth across my fever. There was nothing to fear from this mystery figure, every pore breathed pure care.
I relaxed into the cocoon of the bed and concentrated on letting go of the nightmare visions. Cole was right about one thing. I was mixing him and his father up in my dreams and probably unconsciously in real life. I would never be able to relax with Cole as long as I had the image of his father in my mind. He deserved so much better than what I could give him. Michael had destroyed whatever might have been between us and I had to get away before I hurt Cole any more.
But where? I'd sunk as low as it was possible to go. My friends had started careers right after college and were working towards their goals whereas I had nowhere to live, no job, no money, nothing but some clothes that weren't even mine. I pulled on a pair of Seven jeans that fit like rubber and a soft white angora sweater. I crept down the stairs and feeling like a thief, snuck into the private elevator, sure that Cole hadn't returned from Illicit yet.
Damn. The elevator opened directly into the underground parking and I had no remote to open the gate. Now I couldn't get back into the elevator either. I'd have to wait at the entrance, trapped in the underground lot until someone came through.
“Were you not even going to say goodbye?” Cole climbed from a silver Maclaren. He must have just returned from Illicit, pulled into his space at the same moment I exited for my escape and sat in the car watching me.
“I would have called once I got settled,” I said. “Just let me leave so we can both move forward. With me in your apartment, we are both trapped inside.” He knew I meant our own bodies rather than the exquisite rooms.
“And where exactly are you planning to go at five am. with no money, no ID? What do you think the police will say when they pick you up on a street corner?” he growled, coming toward me ominously.
“I'll tell them the truth,” I said, determined not to back down. “I can stay with Lily while I look for a job.”
“Can you? Are you sure because it looked to me as though she was already busting out of that space and she said her roommate didn't want you there.”
“You were at Lily's a
partment?”
“I had to make sure you were safe.”
“You followed me?”
He said nothing.
“Who do you think you are, some private law to yourself? You can't control my life, following me around and holding me hostage in your condo.” I was enraged at how he presumed to know what was best for me and stormed past, heading for the garage door. Cole grabbed my arm and pulled me hard to him, close into his chest, staring down at me with eyes blazing into mine.
“You insist on being family? On me being your big brother?” He growled, his hot breath on my lips. We stood motionless, his fingers buried in my arm, our eyes locked in unrelenting frustration at our new relationship. And in spite of it I couldn't help being awed by his body leaning over mine, the attraction I felt for him heaved at my heart.
I said nothing. My head told me it was wrong, we were related as family. My heart ripped into a thousand pieces while the pounding through my pussy, screamed for the man to rampage with deep hard thrusts.
“Then I'm responsible for you,” he continued in a raw whisper, “And there is no way I'm letting you wander the streets in the middle of the night. I told you before I'd handcuff you to make you stay if necessary and I wasn't joking. So stop acting like a silly little sister, heal your body strong, get your act together with a job and a life, then you can run out on me and I promise I won't do anything to stop you.”
We glared at each other for another minute, our chests pumping against the other so that I wasn't sure whether the thounding heart beat was mine or Cole's. He was so damned gorgeous when he was mad. His eyes flared with gold glints in the dark green irises. His shoulders bulked out reminding me of how I'd dug my nails hard into the muscles there with the feel of him entering me. I wanted him desperately which was why I had to get away from him. It was wrong. Everything that had happened since we collided with each other again was so damn wrong.
Saying nothing more but without letting go of my arm, he pulled me back to the elevator and slammed his hand into the button for the door close. The atmosphere inside the small rising box was static between us. We stood facing each other, our eyes fixed in unwavering gaze. The only thing moving was the heavy rise and fall of each of our chests. I felt the pressure in my breasts as my nipples strained for him and I stood absolutely still, waiting, hoping.
If he kissed me, I'd let him. Please let him kiss me. Forget everything I said about us being related, the stupid brother, sister nonsense. I didn't care, only wanted him to lean down and press his down pillow lips hard into mine, his delicious tongue wrap around and send me delirious.
If he kissed me once more I was sure I'd forget everything about that vile situation with his- our- father and we could start over. I needed to have him plunge inside me, to pull him tight into me while I crushed my walls around his beautiful full shaft. My core contracted with ravenous tugs of need. Once we were connected again like that, it would all be forgotten and nothing, no one, would get between us. If he would only lean in and kiss me.
Chapter NINE
Cole
She really is the most infuriating and most alluring woman in the history of Cole Winter. I came home and discovered her wandering the parking lot seeking a way to escape me in the middle of the night, as though I'm holding her captive. My body contorted in spasms of ravenous hunger when I saw her standing in the deserted lot, surrounded by my cars wearing a tight pair of jeans that pulled across her round ass.
Harley had been in my home and in my mind over a week and I hadn't laid eyes on her which only made my feverish need more of a torment. My cock filled the instant I saw her and I was driven to take her right there in the underground lot. I thought about how I could lay her back across the hood of the old Porsche, rip that silky top open and take her rapturous breasts into my mouth, suckle and tongue her nipples until she begged me for more.
The way she begged and pleaded me to take her the first time. I wanted my mouth and hands over every part of her at once. My head buried in her sweet-smelling neck, nipping that sensitive part halfway down the side that always makes her squirm.
I'd like to slowly peel those jeans down her shapely thighs and tease her around the edges of her underwear until she bucked her hips up and I know she wants me in her. To slip my fingers under the fabric and stroke along the length of her hard slit peaking out from the soft lips. I'd keep her splayed, one hand cupping her breast and tugging out her eager nipple, the other gliding back and forth across her slickness until her back arched high in readiness and her hands clawed at me.
No, I'd hold them back. Stretching her arms above her across the car and pinning her still as she moaned, telling me how much she wanted me. She'd made a mistake in denying what we both knew was our most essential craving. She was giving in to her fears. Fears of being overwhelmed by the intensity of our desire for each other, fear of being hurt and crushed by the power of the emotion.
We ran away from our feelings once before but there was no outrunning fear. That much I'd learned from life. Fear always lay in wait, festering inside the body, eating away at everything else in our lives until the moment we turned around to face it. If Harley ever found that courage, I'd hold her still and enter her so agonizingly slowly she'd feel every single soft wet cell shiver and tingle as I buried all the way up to the mound. Then, only then would I fuck her harder than she ever thought possible.
I'd give her the full length of my blade, pulling almost all the way out and making her tremble with the head rimming her entrance before ramming it all the way in to the top. I'd fuck her with my thumb tracing circles around her button until she came over and over.
And when she panted for me to stop, overwhelmed by the force of her explosion, I'd wring another round of shivering shudders from her beautiful stretched chasm. Then she would have no choice but to face her fears and accept the way we felt.
As it was, I pulled her back to the elevator and dumped her inside where we stood glaring at each other in pent up rage for the entire ride to the twenty seventh floor. My cock was chafing in my pants with the feverish yearning to be inside her but I would never force her. Not least because I wouldn’t give her another excuse to label what we felt depraved, perverted and licentious.
I bore down on her, intimidating I know but I had to keep from hauling her into my grasp and covering her mouth with mine. I could take her right there in the elevator, stretch her thighs around my hips and impale her onto my pole. She's as light as a feather stroker for me and to feel her come down on me hard would drive me over the edge.
I thought of nothing more than riding her all the way up to the penthouse, while she stared back at me with such disgust it was a good thing we neither spoke nor moved until the door opened and Penny, came running down the hall screaming that Harlow had vanished.
“She's here. I have her,” I told the distraught woman, nervous about the extent of my wrath if Harley had managed to get away on her watch. “Go make her a hot whisky toddy so she sleeps better and doesn't find it necessary to go wandering around in the middle of the night.”
The nurse hurried to the kitchen and I pulled Harlow by the wrist along the hall and up the stairs to her room.
“I know you can't stand to be around me any more, I get that,” I told her while she looked up at me wide-eyed, so deep and blue they were almost ocean-at-night dark. “But I'm all the family you've got right now and no sister of mine is going to wander the streets like a waif. You will get a job and build your life with my assistance, you will stay here as long as I deem it necessary, you will stop acting too proud to accept the help you plainly need. Is that understood?”
She nodded minutely. Her resistance broken for now in the face of my rage. Harlow was built for submission and again I felt a massive surge of desire to take her. To get rid of her step-brother and sister, we're family and it's too taboo excuses for why we shouldn't be together. The irresistible compulsion to make her strip naked in front of me and surrender to my will threw all oth
er thoughts over the edge.
I would never force a woman. Whatever demands I impose are always fully agreed to and received by the submissive as pleasure. Right now Harley doesn't see it that way and after her ordeal she's protecting herself from what she sees as male domination of the worst kind.
She still doesn't remember what that brute, our so-called father, my father, did to her during her night tied up in the basement. Depending on the drugs he gave her, she might never recall and I don't want to be the one to trigger the memory.
I could easily buy her an apartment in the city and would do so in a flash for any sister of mine. But Harlow is much more than any step-sister could ever be. Keeping her here with me in my space will allow me to show her that love and trust are the most intimate human affections.
Eventually she will alter her attitude. For now, what I neglected to tell Harley, was that she would stay in my apartment and receive everything I had to give her until the time I will have her naked and panting in my bed again.
The Romance Continues . . . A Message from Savannah
I hope you enjoyed reading this first part of the Club Illicit series of BDSM stepbrother romance novellas.
Part TWO Illicit Secrets will be out May 22.
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