by Love Belvin
Ezra pulled a thick envelope from his inner pocket and placed it on the table between us. The contents of it was clear right away. This dude was the most resourceful and generous man I knew.
“This is not a loan,” he made very clear. “Neither is it an investment or charity. It is me planting a seed in you that shall grow and prosper. It is me petitioning God to complete that thing which was started in you before your life was interrupted. It is an act of filling in the gap for you, Trent.”
I blew out a deep breath, shaking my head. “Ezra, no one would ever believe how real you are, man. No one, unless they’ve been as low and broken as I’ve been, could ever know the depth of your faith. My homies still in the league haven’t looked out for me like you have. I can’t keep taking your money, bruh.”
“And you can’t block my blessings either. Those property taxes in Alpine are astronomical. Trust me, I know. Stenton and I talk. Here’s ten. You know if you need anything within my means, I’ll have your back. And if it’s outside of my reach, I’ll call on a miracle, all for your faith in Him to remain.”
“Ezra…” I didn’t know what to say.
Ezra’s hands pushed across the table, signaling the intent to pray. “Let us pray on this development.” Within seconds, I joined hands with him and he began. “Father, we bless You for the insight You’ve so graciously bestowed. You didn’t have to share with us the miracle at Your hand concerning Trent, but You did. You said when two or three are gathered in Your name, there You’d be in the midst. We are here asking for the clarity of Your presence and will regarding Trent’s next steps. We understand now that Your plan has been revealed in the atmosphere, even Satan is aware and now plotting to intercept and destroy the blessing en route to my brother. We come against any assignment sent to deter Your will. He will be delivered. Trent will prosper and thrive in this next chapter of his life. He will also take You, Your word, and precepts each step of the way. God, we believe. We agree. We’re exercising our weapon of faith for this miracle. In Jesus’ name we pray.” His eyes appeared on me as mine did him.
Together we sealed the request with, “Amen.”
I sat back trying to ride out the chills coursing my body. I needed to gain a hold of myself. I took another deep breath, slipping into my feelings. This was real. A change was about to come. Ezra was many things, but never about the bullshit. I believed a change was coming. It was what I needed and at the perfect time. I knew the signs of incoming depression. That was a land I wanted no tour of again.
“I have to go.” That brought my attention back to Ezra. I nodded. “Now, I’d be remiss if I didn’t inform you when a miracle of this magnitude comes your way, so do the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Bad always counters good. Stay vigilant, Trent.” His voice was stern, his message haunting with warning. “Protect your arsenal of weaponry.” His index finger met his head. “Guard your garden of peace.” He pointed to his heart. “You’re now in the red zone, bruh. And we know while it is a promising place on the field, it is also proven that anything can happen while there. Don’t be dismayed by the promise. It isn’t assurance. Keep your mind and heart on the goal until you score.”
I nodded, unable to speak. I did stand to give him a bidden dap. Ezra pulled me in and put a pound on my back. He, too, was speechless. I sat back in my seat when he turned to walk off. My eyes glossed and nose expanded.
Shit, man…
As a kid, my mother tore into me about crying all the time. I cried a lot back then, hating that weakness in my personality. She would beat my ass or worse, taunt me about doing something I couldn’t help. It made me feel like a sissy—the frequent word I’d heard and grew to use about myself. She would say that I was a light and pretty sissy when she wanted to get underneath my skin when disciplining me. It didn’t help that her and my older brother were darker in complexion than me. My mother never made me feel a part of her fold, always pointing out contrasts to my being instead of commonalities to our family. I believed that was why I did so well in sports.
On the basketball court and football field I felt like an indestructible monster. Not only was I fast and strong, but I was a deliberator. I filled my time in silence plotting my victory. I’d grown to be a progressively internal man. Being the underdog was embedded into my psyche. It was something Ezra told me could be used as a tool or be a detriment to my life. Nowadays, not much brought me to tears. Instead of focusing on how adversity made me feel, I concentrated on how I could annihilate it. That’s what made me good on the field; I merged my heart and mind and focused intently on the goal. Ezra had it right.
Here in the small and mostly empty coffee shop, I let a few tears of fear, excitement, and confusion slip. But then I wiped those shits off my face and got my ass up to leave. I needed to prepare for the biggest play of my life.
“Girl, when he pulled up to a little-ass cottage, I wanted to cuss his ass the fuck out!” my cousin, Lashawn, gasped into the phone.
I rolled my eyes while using my tablet to check the grade on my last History quiz.
An eighty-two! Unacceptable!
That caused me to roll my eyes again. If I was going to stay on top of Kyree for excellent grades, I had to step my game up, too. I loathed school, hated that I felt a commitment to this degree.
“Not everybody in Montclair has a big crib. You know that, Lashawn.” My cousin was a snob—more appropriate, a chicken-head, always in search of her next sugar daddy.
“That nigga said Upper Montclair, Jade; not just Montclair. Big difference,” she argued.
I nodded in agreement. “That’s true, but it ain’t the end of the world.”
“The hell it ain’t!” she charged. “I’m looking for my come up. Ain’t nothing more important in the world than that.”
Rolling my eyes again, I tossed a glance out onto the football field to gauge how soon Kyree would be done with practice. I was tired from not having gotten any sleep the night before. I battled insomnia. It started when eviction notices began popping up on my door last month. Tonight was my rest night.
“Your health and having a roof over your head is far more important than chasing men with potential paper,” I half-heartedly chided.
“Yeah. I’m gonna let that slide, seeing you got your situation going on. How’s it going, though?”
“Same ole. The lady across the hall said based on when the letters started, I may have another week; at least that’s what she’s observed from other people being evicted.” I shrugged with my lips in the dimness of the car.
“Nosy ass,” she hissed.
I laughed. “Shawnie!” Then I thought. “Hey, you think Ky and me can crash there for a few days if I can’t think of something else?” I held my breath for the inevitable.
“Girl, you know if it was my place, you two would’ve been here already! But my mother rolls with whatever Aunt Chéri does, and she would side-eye the both of us if you stayed here.”
She was right. My aunt Magness was my mother’s younger and unfairly impressionable sister. She was one that agreed with whatever my mother did and said. Aunt Magness also tried to mimic her older sister’s lifestyle, but always fell short in the finance department, seeing her husband was a high school principal earning well, but not as much as her brother-in-law, the corporate attorney for widespread restaurant chain, B-Way Burger. Kyree often stayed over there to play with Lashawn’s son who was a year younger; however our staying there would alert Aunt Magness of something being amiss. That would, in turn, involve her calling my mother, and I couldn’t have that. My mother put me out and never looked back to make sure I was okay. I deserved much of her coldness, but wouldn’t subject myself to her taunting I told you so.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I sighed, feeling that familiar pang of fear of impending trouble. I had no one else I could trust. Ryshon’s mother was not an option. That would open up a far more dreadful can of worms. “I’ll figure something out.”
Lashawn started singing a familiar tune. I couldn�
��t hear all of it over her vocals. Then it clicked.
“Hey, is that Brielle?”
“Yeah, girl!” Lashawn hummed a high note from her latest single, Purple Hearts in Square Places. “You heard her new release?”
“Yeah.”
“That bitch been through some shit. She so damn private, but she got some good D and it fucked her up. But we’ll never know who because she and her camp keep it to the hip.”
“Mmmmhmmmm…” I agreed.
Brielle was arguably the biggest pop star in her genre. At twenty-four, she had countless Grammys and even won a Golden Globe award for starring in a movie with Will Smith as his young love interest. She was an amazing talent and put on the best shows from what I’d been told; I’d yet to go. She started out as an R&B artist at sixteen before going pop on her second album. She’d just dropped her fifth album this past summer and just like the rest, it had gone platinum in no time.
“I can’t wait for her to start her tour. When she comes to the Garden, I’m so in the building!” Lashawn decreed.
My eyes absentmindedly rolled over to find a tall and solid figure approaching my car. I couldn’t quite make out his face in the shadow of the night, but knew who he was. Even the field’s bright lights couldn’t reveal his features; he wore a hoodie again. He ambled with the posture of a lanky athlete as his big hand rested on a pouting Kyree’s head. Dang… I knew who the giant was and his business, walking my son to me.
“Shawnie, I gotta go. Ky’s done now,” I dismissed her hurriedly, scrambling for the door handle.
“Okay, girl. You can drop Kyree off when you need to, you know?” Lashawn had her issues, but she was a supportive cousin.
“I know. Thanks.”
I stood from the car, disconnecting the call. Prepared to receive whatever the man was going to tell me about Ky, I rested my arm on the open car door.
“What is it tonight?” I initiated the complaint.
Since the guy started talking to me about Kyree, I could tell he didn’t like it. It was as though he had no experience with reporting kids. I didn’t know him; couldn’t recall his presence here last year when Ryshon had me enroll Kyree for the first time. He must have been a new coach. As they neared me, my eyes roamed up his long legs that had a decent virile spacing between. He held a football in his palm, the ball fully nestled in the curve of his long fingers. Tonight, his sweat suit was heather gray with the jacket opened to a black t-shirt. I swept my eyes away from him.
Kyree’s sullen regard was downcast. I knew that face. It was of guilt.
What is his problem?
Kyree was otherwise a good kid, fair mannered, and got along with children his age. This was getting out of control.
“Let me guess,” I started when they were just feet away. “Tonight wasn’t a good one for him.”
“It was actually a great night, performance wise.” The guy’s thick chords produced. “I guess you haven’t noticed the other kids left. Kyree had to run extra laps again.”
“What for now?” I shrieked, asking Kyree who refused to look at me.
My son wouldn’t answer, further revealing his guilt. I folded my arms over my abdomen, signaling my wait. Ky’s little eyes shifted up to meet mine for just a few seconds before he dropped them to the ground again.
“Ky! What’s—”
“I don’t wanna go home,” he whined underneath his breath.
Shrinking embarrassment enclosed around me. My lips parted as my regard shot up to the man. I couldn’t catch his expression under the shadow of his hood, but I could only imagine what kind of red flags that outburst gave off. He’d finally let the cat out of the bag in front of someone.
“Well…I-I don’t either, but it’s a school night and late.” I tripped over my words, my regard bouncing up and down between the two guys in front of me.
My heart pounded fanatically. Ky tossed me a nasty glare. I knew what he meant.
“Wanna go get a bite before bedtime?” the giant offered. “I get hungry after practice, too.”
My son’s head rocketed up and his face exploded in an animated smile instantly. “Yeah!”
I took to Kyree’s side, my hand moving to his left shoulder, swiping the guy’s hand from his right. “We always eat a sandwich before bed. That’s not necessary at all.” I offered a broad beam, just wanting to leave this awkward—and what could be detrimental—encounter before more could be revealed. “Let’s go, baby.”
I nudged him just to cue his movements.
“It wouldn’t be a big deal at all. I’m sure we can get something fast and quick to bring that surge of energy down from the work he just put in out there,” the man’s vocals grew with each word, pleading with me.
A stupid giggle escaped my throat. “No. Thanks. That PB&J always seems to do the trick.”
I opened the back door for Kyree to get in and told him to put on his seatbelt as soon as he was seated on his booster. Then I hopped into the front seat and went to cut on the engine. It stalled. Of course, while this man is standing right in front, partially asking to take my son out to dinner, partially to send us off. I tried again, pushing on the accelerator. I was so used to this, I forgot to be embarrassed by that, too. She typically started on the second try, but on occasion, the third. By the fifth time when the car puttered a sound I’d never heard, it was clear she wouldn’t be starting anytime soon.
A quiet cry shot up my chest and I dumped my head on the steering wheel.
Not tonight…
I’d been pushed to the edge from life throwing everything, including the kitchen sink, all at once. Not here! Not tonight!
“Do you have triple A?” I heard a kind yielding to his chords. It was the giant.
I couldn’t look at him, wasn’t able to lift my head. My focus was tamping down the burgeoning cry that wanted to rip from my belly.
“Mommy!” Ky called from the back seat, concerned.
I shook my head at them both.
Not now…
I took deep abdominal breaths, trying to calm myself enough to just think.
“Miss, it’s late. I know you want to get the little guy home. If you don’t have triple A, do you have a service to call?”
I couldn’t even look at him, just shook my head still pressed into the steering wheel.
“Okay. I can give someone a call to come look at—”
“I can’t afford it,” I cut him off.
I had little money to stretch and not enough to go into this car. Bigger than that issue, the revelation landed a gut blow, but directly to my face. It had all caught up to me: getting involved with a guy with no interest but the “block,” making babies, and no future other than a jail cell or premature death. Me dropping out of school, living on my own before I was ready, and having a child before I could care for him independently.
The consequences all crashed on me… In this moment.
“Well, we have to decide what’s wrong before we can know how much, right?” The softness in the strong bass of his utterance had my neck lifting and I finally beheld him in the eyes as he squatted down at my window. “I’ll make the call and see how long it’ll take. Okay?”
With parted lips and weighted shoulders, I nodded.
Five minutes later, the giant ended the call with the mechanic and turned to saunter back over to Kyree and me waiting outside the car.
“He should be here in twenty to thirty minutes. Why don’t we go grab a bite and wait for his call once he’s able to look at the car?”
My face wrinkled. “How is he going to look at the car if we’re not here?”
“Easy.” He moved toward me, and I automatically shifted to get out of his way. “I told him we’d leave the door unlocked. No one’s gonna mess with your car out here.”
Was he saying that because it was an older model? That was rude.
“We can wait for him.” I covered Kyree’s shoulders with my hands as I shifted behind him protectively.
“Mommy, I’m h
ungry,” Ky whined.
My eyes rolled shut. We were blocks from a McDonald’s and I couldn’t walk there with my son in the dark. This wasn’t looking good for me.
A car pulled up. The giant turned, just as surprised as I was to see a lingering car in the lot. The passenger window rolled down, and though I could see a child in the backseat, I couldn’t make out who was inside.
“Everybody alright over here?” I recognized the voice.
It was Coach Jason. Giant turned to face him.
“I hope so,” giant answered. “Kyree’s mom’s car is stalling. I just called Jeff to have him come take a look at it.”
“Oh, okay! Yeah, Jeff’s good. I forgot he had that mobile repairs business,” Jason mused out loud.
“What’re you still doing here?” the giant asked.
“I had a meeting with the vendor moms. They had a lil’ quarrel that needed a man’s cleaning. You know how they keep shit going. I gotta get home to the wife now before she has my ass.”
“Oh, a’ight.” The giant turned back to me, a gentle beam danced in his eye. “I’m trying to take Kyree for some grub instead of waiting in the dark for Jeff, but his moms isn’t cool with strangers. You know…stranger danger, and all that jazz.”
That comment could have come off slick, but the giant didn’t look at me with hungry eyes. He certainly wasn’t checking me out like I had him when they first came over tonight.
“Oh!” Coach Jason flashed an inspired smile, his brows creased. “Jade, this is one of my volunteers, TB. You don’t know him?” My eyes raked over to the giant who stood straight from the car, reminding me of his extreme height. He pulled his hoodie back slightly from his face, though it remained on his head. I saw more of the unkempt beard, but no traces of familiarity. I shook my head at Coach Jason. He laughed heartily. “I’m surprised he’s being so social, but don’t worry about him trying anything shady. You have my number and email if you need me. I’m in more danger than you tonight with the wife.” He gave a wry smile.
