Gemma’s dad worked the window beside hers. Wade was still using a walker, to accommodate the injuries he’d suffered when a car plowed into his bed-and-breakfast. He’d said nothing about Tanner becoming a third partner at the track, but he seemed happy.
From her window, she watched the goings-on. Okay, watched Tanner. He had his pro car parked just beyond the concessions building, where he spent some time playing the celebrity. Whenever he glanced her way, she focused on something else. Damn, did he sense when she was watching him? Or was he looking at her just as often as she was looking at him?
She liked how he patiently showed the kids and the young men the car and seemed to explain drifting techniques. He didn’t flirt or spend any more time with the young women.
She forced herself not to look at him. Between customers, she chatted with Wade. Gemma and her dad had reunited after a few years apart. And while Grace wouldn’t be physically reunited with her dad, she could have a relationship with him. Not as attorney and client but as father and daughter. If she forgave him. Tanner had looked so peaceful when he told her about releasing the story he’d been telling himself. She didn’t have to lose her dad completely.
Tanner popped up at her window. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I freaked you out, didn’t I?”
“You gave me a lot to think about.” But it was as much what he hadn’t told her as what he had.
“I know. And there’s no hurry giving me an answer. This is all the first step.” He leaned closer. “Remember what I said about overthinking it, Grace. Fall free. Remember how that felt.”
Easy for him to say. He didn’t know that she knew about his name change. Just as he’d said of her, he spoke to all of her shadows. She would have to face them, as he had. But he was making it much harder, testing her biggest insecurities with his secrets. Bringing the pain of her father’s betrayal close to the surface.
“I don’t think I can do this,” she said at last. “That Grace can’t handle another heartbreak. Not right now.” She gave him a pleading look. “There are people behind you, waiting to order.”
He started to say more, then looked behind him and saw that there were actually people a couple of feet away. “We are not done, Grace. I told you, I’m fighting for you. For us.” He headed off toward the track.
At seven, Gemma relieved her of concession duty. Well, more like she yanked her away to the office, where Mia was at the desk folding another batch of flyers.
“Grace, Grace, Grace!” Gemma said the moment she closed the door. “Pax just told me that Tanner is talking about buying into the track! Settling down here…for you! And you look like you’re scared to death.”
Mia set the last flyer aside. “Grace, you know how close I was to losing Raleigh. I had to give up the idea of a safe future, of what I thought I wanted, before I realized how much I wanted love.”
“And you know the obstacles Pax and I had to surmount,” Gemma said. “I had to learn to trust a man. To trust myself. I did, and now I’m happier than I ever could have imagined. Tanner is that man for you. I can feel it.”
“I know. But there are things he hasn’t told me that make me doubt my judgment.” And things Grace hadn’t told them about why she was so unsure.
Mia came around the front of the desk. “Raleigh had secrets, too, as you know. A woman has to earn the right to learn a man’s deepest sorrows and shames. His hopes and fears. And you earn that right by trusting him with your own.”
“Well, he sort of found out mine.”
“And how did he handle it? Was he compassionate? Did he keep those secrets?”
Grace released a sigh. “Yes, and yes, as far as I know.”
The two women looked at each other, and Mia said, “I haven’t heard anything juicy about you.”
“Me, neither,” Gemma affirmed.
“Look, you two, back off. I’m in full-scale topsy-turvy right now.”
“Let us help you, Grace,” Gemma said. “The way you helped me when we had that wine talk.”
Grace took in the two women with their earnest expressions. Was the universe testing her? Throwing at her all the things she’d avoided for so long: female friends, a man to fall in love with. “I have to go to my next assignment,” she said.
Gemma had a clever smile on her pretty face. “That would be relieving Janey on the ride-alongs. There’s a clipboard with everyone who’s signed up for their slots. All you need to do is verify their names, make them sign the CYA waiver, and keep the order.”
“Sounds easy enough.”
“Send Janey over to concessions. She’s been so excited about cooking.”
“Will do.” Grace escaped. Keeping order, that she could do. That’s all she was trying to do now, inside the chaos of her heart and mind.
Pax’s sister, who had Down syndrome, was absolutely glowing as she chatted with the next person in line. Grace had rarely seen the third Sullivan child around town, and all of a sudden she was seeing Janey a lot. Driving a truck, at a café giggling with a young man, and working at the deli. Pax said their mother had overprotected her, though Grace suspected that there was more to the story. But it appeared to be all good now.
“Hey, Janey, how’s it going?”
Janey turned her beatific smile on Grace. “Wonderful! I’m so happy to see how many people came. Pax says we’ve raised four thousand dollars in entry fees for KAR and the Alliance for Independence! Plus a bunch of donations.”
Janey’s pure joy made Grace wonder if God hadn’t sent people with Down syndrome to earth to remind everyone else how to simply be happy.
“That’s awesome! Gemma says you’re living at its complex and doing great.”
“Yep,” she said with a deep, proud nod. “I love cooking meals. They said I’d be head chef before long.”
“I believe it. They’re lucky to have you. Speaking of cooking, I’m supposed to send you over to concessions. I hear there are some hamburgers that need your attention.”
Janey gave her a salute. “Yes, ma’am!” She handed Grace the clipboard and bounded off.
Janey trusted everyone, lived in the moment. Grace envied her that. She had a whole new life, new adventures. And while Nick represented an exciting new direction for Grace, she still felt a hole of a different type inside her.
When she looked up, Tanner filled her vision. He walked toward her pulling off his helmet, his blond hair tousled. His racing suit, bearing all his sponsors, fit nicely over his broad shoulders, the stripes making him look even leaner. “Who’s next?”
She pulled her gaze from him and looked for the name beneath the broad black stripe. “Grace…Parnell.”
“Ah, very good,” he said, all business like. He took the clipboard from her and handed it to the person who was next in line, then tugged her to the car.
“I haven’t signed the waiver,” she protested weakly.
“I’ll take my chances.” He set a hairnet on her head, tucking in stray strands. Then he placed the helmet over her head and tightened the strap.
“Do you do this for every ride-along?”
“Nope. Only the ones I’m in love with. Ready?”
Those words—how they both electrified and terrified her. “Do I have a choice?”
“Nope.”
He helped her into the car and snapped her into the harness. As soon as the door closed, her phone rang. Tom.
She removed the helmet and answered. “Hey, Tom.”
“I found something very interesting about your guy, Grace. You’re not going to believe it.”
Tanner opened the door and dropped into the driver’s seat. He flashed her a smile that said I love you and I’m not letting you pull away from me.
“You know what? I don’t need that information right now. Or at all, really. I appreciate your concern, though. Gotta go.” She disconnected, feeling something break loose inside her. “Something about Nick’s case,” she told Tanner.
“Trouble?”
She looked at him, taking in his beautiful blue eyes, his sweet mouth that had kissed her into oblivion. And had said things that she wanted to believe so badly. Confessed things about the deepest recesses of his soul. The girls were right; she needed to earn his confidence. “I don’t think so.” She nodded toward the windshield and donned the helmet again. “Take me for a ride, Tanner. I want to experience this controlled chaos.”
He fired up the engine, his hands curling over the steering wheel. “Hold on, babe.”
She felt the g-forces as the car shot forward, pressing her against the seat. He shifted quickly, then sent them into their first slide. She let herself experience the losing-control feeling, the same way she felt inside about Tanner. And she trusted him. To pull them out, which he did. To keep her safe.
To be a man she could love.
They went into another slide, the back end of the car coming into a near-one-eighty before he straightened it out. She watched him as her body listed toward the door. The same forces were pushing and pulling him, but he remained completely calm.
“I let you walk away from me twice,” he said as they made the far turn. He pushed on a tall silver stick next to the shifter.
“I ran away. You don’t have to be so nice about it.”
“Yeah, I do. Because I understand why. It was never about me.”
“No, it was all me.”
“And it has to be you who walks to me. But I’m sticking around until you do. I may have to go to an event from time to time, but I’ll be back. Even if it is small-town claustrophobic here, I like it. The beaches. Pax, Raleigh, Mia, and Gemma. And you, Grace. Especially you. It’s time to settle down.”
The car slid around the next corner, but she didn’t feel out of control at all. She felt safe. Inside and out. “Are you resting your case?” she asked, the smile in her heart spreading to her face.
“It depends on whether I’ve convinced the jury.” He came to a stop where they’d started and removed his helmet.
With the line of people eagerly waiting, she didn’t feel this was the right time to speak her piece. “I’ll give you my decision after deliberation,” she said, removing her helmet.
“I’ll be waiting.”
He unsnapped his harness and ran around to her side, opening the door. Leaning in and kissing her as he blindly unsnapped hers. She opened her mouth, seeking him with her tongue. A preview of her verdict. He softened the kiss, then pressed his forehead to hers and let out a soft sigh before stepping back and helping her out. She staggered, then caught her balance.
He hooked his arm through hers and led her back to her station, even taking back the clipboard and handing it to her. “Who’s next?” he asked, prompting her, because she was still wobbly.
She processed the twenty people who’d signed up for the rides, then waved to Tanner as he cleared the track so that the final round of drifting could begin. She reported to Gemma after finally hunting her down. “I suppose you were behind my name being next on the ride-along list.”
Gemma gave her an innocent look. “Not me. That was all Tanner.”
“I need to pay my donation. As you know, there are no free rides.”
“I imagine Tanner covered it, but if it makes you feel better go over to the KAR booth and donate the ten bucks. Then take a few minutes to enjoy the night. You’ve put in your time. It’s been a huge success.”
Grace shared her triumphant smile. “Yeah, it has. I’ve been too busy working—”
“And thinking,” Gemma interrupted.
“To enjoy anything,” Grace finished, not contradicting her.
It was near dark now, with only the last vestiges of sunset streaking the fading sky. She wandered through the crowds, the roar of engines and squealing tires competing with the music. Her eyes searched for Tanner, even though she knew he was over at what they called the chicane, where the cars started each run. The advanced drivers competed the way Tanner said the pros did: two drivers ran two runs, taking turns being the leader and the chaser. This part of the event was his baby.
She spotted Tom in his street clothes by the fence watching the cars. She was glad he was here, but she didn’t want to talk to him. Unfortunately, he saw her, gesturing for her to come over, an eagerness on his face. Damn, he’d really found something juicy. She shook her head and turned in the other direction.
She paused by the bleachers, and her eyes went straight to Tanner, talking to one of the drivers waiting his turn. Raleigh, Wade, and Pax were there, too, talking with some of the other drivers, laughing and having a good time. In fact, many of the drivers and their crews and friends stood chatting, seeming to share a camaraderie that made her smile.
The winner of the previous round was announced, and Tanner stepped back as the drivers waiting their turn gunned their engines in preparation for their run. She loved watching him in his element. The cars, these nicer than the drift cars cobbled together by amateurs, took off from the start chicane. She watched the lead and the chase car slide in tandem, nearly bumping into each other.
After the two rounds, she wandered over to the KAR booth. Fiona and Nick were stuffing little plastic bags with candies and pens. Grace slipped a fifty-dollar bill into the donation jar. “For my ride-along.”
Fiona grinned, the lines of her face indicative of the many times she’d done just that. “Thank you. Did Tanner tell you about KAR?”
“A little. I love what you’re doing. Kids like Nick need support, both emotionally and financially.”
“That’s why Tanner started it. He knows firsthand how tough it is.”
Grace had to keep her mouth from hanging open. “Tanner…started KAR? This is his organization?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I knew he was involved in it, but not that he actually started it. We don’t know each other that well.”
And yet she felt that she knew him very well. His heart, his soul, if not all of his secrets. The universe had sent Tanner, and then Nick, both to help her find her way.
Fiona leaned close. “He came to my home in the last few months of his time in the system. I wish he’d been able to come sooner. I could tell the system had drained him, beaten him up. Yet he still possessed a spark, a determination to succeed. I could see that he was a good kid. Like Nick here.” She gave his arm an affectionate squeeze. “When he told me he wanted to start KAR, I was completely on board. As it grew, he asked me to become the president. I didn’t even have to think about it.” She tilted her head and gave Grace a soft gaze. “He’s a good man.”
“Everything I discover about him only makes me like him more.” And what she didn’t know? She’d handle that when he was ready to tell her. When she’d earned that privilege.
She spent the next half hour talking to Fiona about what KAR did and how Nick would fit in to their program. Fiona had even found him a place to stay until he could get on his feet. Grace discovered that Tanner had generously funded the organization both with his money and his time, though it was now holding its own.
Grace patted Nick’s arm. “Looks like you’re in good hands.”
“Thanks to you.” He surprised her by giving her a hug.
Damn, this felt good. She needed no more evidence that she was making the right decisions in her life. “Well, I’m going to go find Tanner, see if he needs any help.”
She knew exactly where he was—in the winner’s circle waiting for the final event to wrap, surrounded by guys he obviously knew well. Of course, he wasn’t just standing around. He was on the phone with the judges, up in the tower. At least, she guessed that from the way he was looking in their direction. He consulted a clipboard, then sent one of his friends off to do something. His blue shirt, tight over his chest, was damp with sweat down his back. He’d worked tirelessly all day, giving everything he had. For Pax. For KAR and the Alliance.
Now he’d pledged that dedication to her. No, no one had ever fought for her. That Tanner would sent chills through
her heat-drenched body. Sent thrills into her heart. He’d once said that he didn’t deserve the kind of devotion she’d given her father. But he did. Oh, he did.
Tanner turned around as though he sensed her and waved her over. She crossed the track and joined him, and when his arm went around her waist it felt so good and natural that she sank against him.
She took in the lit banner announcing the winner’s circle, the sponsors, and the track, then faced the nearly full bleachers and people milling everywhere. “Am I supposed to be out here? This feels like an official area.”
“And you are officially part of it. You’ve been working for this, too.”
She let out a happy sigh. “You did it, Tanner. You made this a success.”
“We all did.”
“Do you succeed at everything you set your mind to?”
“Yes. And sometimes I even get an unexpected bonus.” He planted a kiss on her nose.
Engines fired up, and the top two drivers pulled into starting position. They were down to the final run, winner take all. She started to give Tanner space, but he slid his arm over her collarbone and kept her in front of him.
“How do they judge the cars?” she asked, wanting to know more about this world that he inhabited. “You said style, I think, but I can’t remember the other criteria.”
“I’m impressed that you remembered that much. Line, angle, and overall style. Line is the ideal path a car should take, and it pushes the driver to use the whole track. Angle is judged by how much the driver pushes the limits, and how smooth his transitions are. Style is his overall fluidity and how much juice he puts into the run.”
The cars shot out of the chicane, and she watched them do their dance. “At first, I have to admit, I didn’t get the appeal. But now I totally do. Especially after my forced ride.” She shot him a grin.
Falling Free ( Falling Fast #3) Page 21
