After filling my cup with punch, I made my way around the edges of the dance floor, smiling at my happy friends as they danced and enjoyed the dance. It was a day for mourning, but also a day for celebration—we were finally free of the sociopath. I saw many classmates I had never noticed before. After what happened with the shooting…everyone seemed important and I was making an effort to learn all of the students’ names at Harrow High.
For the first time in a long time, I felt safe again. The school shooting gave me a newfound lease on life. I wanted to be alive. And suddenly, all of the small stuff—like cheerleading and everyday drama amongst friends and peers—seemed so unimportant and dumb. I just wanted us all to be safe and happy, and that didn’t seem like too much to ask.
I noticed one of my friends sitting in the bleachers, head hung down and quiet. I crept toward her, climbing up rows of seats to sit beside her.
“Winter, are you okay?” I asked. I smoothed the long layers of my dress, taking a seat beside her.
When she looked up, I could tell she had been crying. Her hooded black makeup was smudged on her pale white cheeks and below her eyes. Her white-blonde hair looked even whiter than usual with her all-white, sparkly dress.
Even when she was crying and looked like a total wreck, she was beautiful.
When she didn’t answer my question, I said, “You look really pretty.”
“Thanks,” she said finally, sniffling. Her eyes drifted to the dance floor, where she glumly watched Andy and Dakota dancing.
I groaned. “Not him again,” I teased, nudging her. “She will kick your ass if she sees you staring at him. You know what a pain Dakota can be sometimes.”
Winter tried not to smile, but her lips were curving. “I know. But I just can’t help it. I still have feelings for him, Amanda,” she whined.
“What do you miss so much about dating him?” I asked, watching Andy playfully dip Dakota on the dance floor. They both looked so happy, and I didn’t see Winter being able to break them up even if she tried.
“I guess I just miss the idea of him. We were like best friends when we were little and he was always infatuated with me. I guess I thought it would last forever, but then one day he moved on…before I really had a chance to tell him how much he meant to me.”
I sat there quietly, unsure what to say, or what could make her feel better…
“And there are so many unpleasant memories and reasons to just let go of Andy, but I keep focusing on the good moments…the good memories I can’t let go of,” she said sadly.
I thought about her words, mulling them over. “You know I think I have the opposite problem with my dad. I focus on the bad so much, I can’t seem to reach the good stuff anymore. When all I want to do is let the bad go, and just hold on to the good. I think it’s good that it’s in your nature to stick with the good—I do…”
Winter looked at me, wiping her nose. “I’m really sorry about what happened to your dad. Even if he made some bad choices, he did one thing right—he had you. And you’re an awesome friend, Amanda. I’m so glad I met you this year.”
We both smiled.
“You deserve a guy that likes you and who you like back. Maybe you and Andy were just meant to be friends, or even childhood sweethearts. You can let go of the good memories and focus on making new ones. With your new friends, and your new cheerleading team…” I said.
When she didn’t answer, I nudged her.
“Yeah, you’re right. I have a lot of things to look forward to this year. I’m just glad I’m not dead. I was so scared,” she said.
“Me too,” I said solemnly, remembering the jolt of shock that ran through my body when I heard the first gunshot.
It would take some time for us all to recover, that I knew for sure…
“Attention, please! Nominations are in for the Homecoming King and Queen. Quiet, everyone!” It was Mrs. Brooch on the mic. For someone usually so cranky, she seemed happy and animated tonight. I couldn’t help wondering if someone spiked her punch. I stifled a giggle.
“Congratulations to this year’s Homecoming King…Andy McGraw!”
The gym erupted with applause and cheers from students. A bunch of Andy’s teammates on the basketball team were hooting and hollering their congrats. I smiled over at Dakota. She was beaming, so proud of her boyfriend.
“And now…for the moment everyone’s been waiting for. This year’s Homecoming Queen…”
I saw Dakota puffing out her chest, hoping she was the one. I also saw Lauren staring at the stage with a hopeful expression.
“The Homecoming Queen is our new girl…Winter Addams!”
The gym was filled with roars and whistles, students clapping for Winter.
“What?” She looked over at me to confirm this was true, looking truly in shock and awe.
I quickly wiped her tears away, trying to rub off some of the smudged black makeup, but to no avail. Winter stood up, still looking unsure of herself.
“Go up there,” I said, nudging her. I watched her glide down the bleachers and make her way to the stage.
Meanwhile, I tried not to even look—Dakota was absolutely fuming. Suddenly, Sydney was beside me, grabbing my arm.
“We’d better get her out of here…she’s so mad she might explode,” Sydney said, talking about Dakota, of course.
I laughed despite myself. “Yeah, okay. Let’s all get out of here. I’m thinking this day calls for more Buffy reruns and junk food!”
I felt happy for my new friend, Winter. Dakota would get over it. There was enough room at Harrow High for a few queens this year…
Chapter
Fifty-Nine
“I’m dying.” It was the last thing I expected—or wanted—to hear from my Grandma Mimi on a day like today. We were sitting at the kitchen table, moments earlier having light conversation over bowls of spaghetti.
“What?” I dropped my fork, letting it fall and clang against the wood floor beneath me.
“I have cancer. And I don’t have much longer to live,” she said.
“I don’t understand. You’ve been so happy lately, Grandma…why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t tell you because you had so much on your plate. But at this point, your plate can’t get any fuller so I might as well tell you now,” she explained.
My mouth was open. My heart hurt so bad I couldn’t speak.
“Please don’t be sad, Amanda. Even though I’m dying, for the first time I feel like I’m truly living. It may have taken me ninety years to figure it out, but I have. I don’t want to waste one more second that I have with you. I love you, Amanda. I missed my chance to be a good mother, but at least I can be good to you before I die.”
I dove out of my seat and ran around to hug my grandmother.
“Please don’t die, Grandma…” I bawled into her chest.
“Baby, we’re all dying. And life is too short. You saw that just the other day…when I nearly lost you…” Now she was crying too.
“You didn’t lose me. I’m here, Grandma. Tell me what I can do to help. I’ll take you anywhere you want to get treatment, and I’ll take care of you…” I assured her.
“I don’t want treatment. But I do want something.”
I nodded, pleading her to give me something—anything—to do that would prove helpful to her.
“Let’s go on a road trip, me and you. I want to show you Vegas. I want to show you the house your father grew up in, and I want to stand at the top of the Grand Canyon and feel alive—for however long that is…”
I nodded again, wiping tears and snot from my face. “Okay. I’m ready whenever you are, Grandma,” I said, standing up straight.
“Well, I thought we could wait until the season was over. You need to be here for your games and such. But as soon as it’s over, we’ll head out West.”
“The West is the best, or so I’ve heard,” I said, smiling. “Let’s leave tonight, Grandma. Let’s just go. I’ll drive you anywhere and ever
ywhere you want to go. You’ll never be hidden inside your house again.”
“But what about cheerleading, honey?”
I smiled, thinking about Sydney. “That’s what alternates are for.”
***
The day before we planned to leave, I took the driver’s test exam. Although I was willing to risk driving cross country without a license, Grandma Mimi wasn’t. She said the only way she would let me drive is if I took the test and passed…
I missed two questions on the written part, and couldn’t parallel park that big boat of a car to save my life, but somehow I passed anyway. “You passed by this much,” the instructor said, holding up two fingers spread a millimeter apart.
As long as I passed, that’s all that mattered…
I had spoken to all of my teachers and collected my assignments. I would have to do school work on the road, that way I didn’t get too far behind on my studies. I didn’t mind, and I knew Grandma Mimi would make me do it whenever I felt like slacking off…
I dropped off my cheerleading uniform and pompoms to Coach Davis’s office. She was inside, sitting in her wheelchair at her desk, smiling despite her recent injuries.
“Will you ever walk again?” I asked her, placing the uniform and pompoms across her desk.
“I hope so. The prognosis looks good, but even if I don’t…I’m just lucky to be alive.” I smiled.
That’s a good way to look at it, I thought, smiling. We were all lucky to be alive.
When Grandma Mimi and my bags were packed and loaded up in the car, and as we pulled away from Harrow Hill, I told her that I had one last thing to do.
“It’s not stopping to see that boy, is it? The one you had the baby with?” I rolled my eyes at “had the baby with.”
“No, it’s not him, Grandma. I want to stop and see my father.”
She was quiet the whole way there, both of us deep in thought. “Want me to go with you or stay here?” she asked, as she pulled up and parked in front of the cemetery.
Unlike the other night when I came, the gates were open and the sun was shining, welcoming visitors.
“I need to do this alone,” I said, slowly getting out of the car.
I took my time getting to my father’s grave, not ready to say what I needed to say…
Finally, standing in front of it, my mind was blank…unsure what to say exactly.
“I still kind of hate you,” I whispered. “But I remember so many things I loved…I loved the way you loved mom and me so fiercely. Sometimes it was too much, intense. I loved the way you made pancakes on weekends, and teased Mom relentlessly. I loved the way you called me Cookie, and always held my hand when we went somewhere. I loved how you always got up early in the mornings, watching me go off to school, even when you were tired. I loved you. I still love you.
I’m going to focus on the good stuff and try to let go of the bad. I’m going to try to make the most out of my time with Grandma Mimi. Like you, she’s not perfect and neither is my mom. But maybe if I love them as fiercely as you loved me and Mom, I can help fix them. Or at least make them happy for a little while.”
I knew it would be a while before I came to visit again. So I kissed the tips of my fingers, bent down and pressed them to the front of his grave.
“Good bye, Terrance Loxx.”
Chapter Sixty
Ashleigh
As I walked inside my quiet, empty house, I couldn’t help thinking about how beautiful the memorial service had been. I headed straight toward the stairs to the basement, feeling my way around in the dark until I reached the light switch.
I skipped the dance. There were lots of reasons to celebrate, but changing out of my uniform and into a dress didn’t sound like much fun at all to me. I never wanted to take this thing off…
I stood in front of the full-length mirror, admiring my gorgeous new uniform. It felt like a dream come true. I couldn’t wait to wear it on game night. I especially couldn’t wait to wear it at the big competition in Dallas. The competition was bound to be killer…
“It wasn’t a coincidence, was it? You killed Blakely and Brittani, making sure I got a spot on the team, just like I always wanted…and just like you said I would.” Mariella was dead now, but somehow…I knew she was still listening to me. We will be friends forever—she said it herself in the note she sent me in juvie.
Sliding my hands up and down my sides, I grinned at my reflection, mouthing a silent cheer:
I hope it wasn’t all in vain
I had a purpose but she was insane
I’ll hold this team together, yes I will
And if anyone tries to stop me…
Kill Kill Kill
“See! I can make up poems too! Take that Mariella,” I said, lifting my arms in a V.
The V was for Victory.
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Acknowledgments
First and foremost, thank you to Shannon, Dexter, Tristian, and Violet for supporting my passions and rooting for me every step of the way.
Thank you to all of my fans and everyone who reads my books. I see all of your reviews and read all of your messages, and your feedback and comments mean more to me than you’ll ever know. I couldn’t do this without you.
Thank you in particular to my street team, Flocksdale’s Finest. You guys are a fabulous group and I feel so lucky to have each and every one of you.
Thank you to my mother for always attending all of my games and being my biggest supporter, as a teen and an adult.
Thank you to all of the staff at Limitless Publishing who make it possible for me to write these stories. The fact that you believe in me, support me every step of the way, and allow me to share my books with the world is amazing. I’ll be forever grateful.
Thank you so much to my incredible editor, Toni Rakestraw. She is patient and kind, and she’s up in the middle of the night even on weekends helping me make my stories better. You’re awesome, Toni! And I couldn’t do it without you.
Thank you Ashley Byland of Redbird Designs for designing all of my Horror High and Flocksdale Files covers. You always surprise me and impress me with the ideas you come up with and the way you bring to life the characters who live in my head still amazes me! I don’t know how you do, but you do it so perfectly!
Thank you to Mitsy Princell, for promoting my books, helping me organize events, and providing so much encouragement on a daily basis. It means more to me than I could ever express in words.
Thank you Mia of happianarky.com for helping me with my website and making teasers for me. Most importantly, thank you for being my friend. I can’t wait for that trip to Nola we’re always talking about.
Thank you to Lauren Delancey for being an awesome friend and fan, and for letting me use your name in one of my books.
Thank you to all of my family, friends, and fellow authors who provide so much emotional support and friendship to me on a daily basis. You guys inspire me to keep writing!
About the Author
Besides my family, my greatest love in life is books. Reading them, writing them, holding them, smelling them…well, you get the idea. I’ve always loved to read, and some of my earliest childhood memories are me, tucked away in my room, lost in a good book. I received a five dollar allowance each week, and I always—always—spent it on books. My love affair with writing started early, but it mostly involved journaling and writing silly poems. Several years ago,
I didn’t have a book to read so I decided on a whim to write my own story, something I’d like to read. It turned out to be harder than I thought, but from that point on I was hooked. I’m the author of The Flocksdale Files Trilogy, This Is Not About Love and Grayson’s Ridge. I’m a total genre-hopper. Basically, I like to write what I like to read: a little bit of everything! I reside in Floyds Knobs, Indiana with my husband, three children, and massive collection of books. I have a degree in psychology and worked as a counselor.
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/CarissaAnnLynchauthor
Twitter:
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Blog:
https://carissaannlynch.wordpress.com/
Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/11204582.Carissa_Lynch
Website:
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Cutting Up The Competition (Horror High Series Book 2) Page 13
