A Woman's World

by Lynne Hill-Clark

  The time of No Moons was quickly approaching. This was also Bek’s birthday. She couldn’t wait! She’d already drawn him some pictures for his room. It would also be a relief to get out of the drab palace and be in her normal room with real windows.

  The three days before the night of No Moons and the three days afterward were a time for family and prayer. This meant that Baya had seven full days at home. There would be a large feast held at Aga’s home on the night of No Moons. Neighbors, friends and family would join in the celebration. This was Baya’s favorite time of year.

  At the start of the sacred holiday, Aga walked Baya home after the day’s lessons. Baya ran circles around her mother, whose slow pace seemed designed to annoy her daughter.

  “Come on. I can’t wait to get home.” Baya laughed as she ran ahead.

  “Slow down,” Aga hollered after her.

  Baya’s first sight when she ran into her home was Tash and Bek hovered over a scroll together. Baya’s mouth fell open with a sharp inhale — her excitement instantly vanished.

  “Baya!” Tash stood and ran to embrace her.

  Baya’s body went rigid when her sister wrapped her arms around her. She had never hugged Tash before and she wasn’t about to start now.

  Why was she happy to see Baya? What was her game? She must want something. “What were you two doing?”

  Bek was next to hug Baya. This time Baya returned the gesture even though she was no longer in the mood for affection. She felt betrayed, replaced, irrelevant.

  “What were you two doing?” Baya repeated with more emphasis.

  “Well, after you left, it was just me and Bek. Rus is always so busy, you know. So we often study together. You were right, Bek is really smart. You taught him well. Sometimes he even teaches me a thing or two.”

  Baya’s two younger siblings giggled when they looked at each other. This made Baya want to scream. It was supposed to be Baya’s secret with Bek. It was her job to teach him, not Tash’s.

  Tash appeared to be oblivious to Baya’s disapproving scowl. “Bek even taught me about your made-up symbols — very clever,” Tash beamed.

  Baya’s hand flew up to cover her stomach, as if Tash had just punched her in the gut. “Bek, those were supposed to be our secret, just between us. Why would you tell her?” Baya felt tears well in her eyes.

  Aga entered the room with Rus in tow.

  Tash quickly rolled up the scroll on the table. “Fetch me some water, Bek.” She gave Bek a quick wink as he hurried off.

  Baya wanted to yell at Tash, You can’t steal him from me. He’s my brother not yours. Baya scarcely recognized the error in her logic. They were all Aga’s children, after all. But this didn’t matter. It had always been Baya and Bek against Tash. Tash was an outsider. She didn’t belong here; well, in Baya’s mind anyway.

  Now she was the outsider. This thought came with a sharp pain in the stomach. Baya choked the tears back. All because she had to be away at that stupid school, sitting through endless lessons that she already knew. Now she was being forgotten about at home — replaced.

  Baya considered telling Aga what Tash and Bek were doing but that would only get Bek in trouble — big trouble, as in grounded to his room for life.

  “Baya! You look like you’ve grown a foot since I saw you last.” Rus moved to give her a welcome home embrace.

  But Baya moved around him and stormed out of the room, she could no longer keep the tears from falling. She couldn’t let her mother see her cry — the ultimate sign of weakness and vulnerability — not acceptable for a woman or even a mistress.

  “Baya. What’s wrong?” Rus called after her. He looked to Tash for clarification but she shrugged, not knowing the answer.

  Baya shut herself in her room. It was cleaner than she had left it — Rus always kept the house tidy — but otherwise it was just the same as always. The first thing she did was gaze out her window at the black-diamond palace in the distance. She wondered what Vicaroy was doing. A weak smile crossed her lips. Walking in the garden with him was always so pleasant.

  She shook her head at the irony. It was strange how everything had changed in a hand-full of months. Baya had thought she wanted to be home more than anything but now that she was here, she wanted to be at school. Well not in class, but in the lovely royal gardens.

  More tears fell as she thought of her time spent playing and laughing with Vicaroy. Then it turned to sobbing as she thought of her brother. She pictured him spiraling further and further away. Every time she would return home he would be more distant until he no longer needed her or missed her.

  Baya was utterly stuck between two worlds and she belonged in neither of them.

  A soft knock came at the door. “Baya, can we talk?”

  She thought about telling Rus to go away. Which he would do if she ordered it. Then the worst thought of all came to her, What if Rus loved Tash more than her? She swung the door open and threw her arms around Rus. He was the only person she could cry in front of. And that’s what she did.

  When the tears stopped they were sitting on the edge of her bed. Rus had an arm around her shoulders and she lay her head on his tear-stained shirt.

  “Now. What’s going on? Are the girls at school mean to you?”

  “They don’t even talk to me but that’s not the problem.”

  Rus waited patiently for her to continue when she was good and ready.

  “It’s just that … Bek and Tash have grown close and I have to be away and …”

  “Ah. I see. You feel like you are no longer wanted.”

  “You and Bek are fine without me.”

  “We missed you so much, more than you know. Change can be hard but no matter how much time we are apart our love for you will never fade.”

  “What if I were gone for an entire year?”

  “We’d still love you just the same.”

  “What about twenty years?” This seemed like an eternity to Baya.

  “Even then. No matter how much time passes or how far you go, and you will go far, our love will never waver, not even a smidge.”

  Bek slowly stuck his head around the corner, peering into Baya’s room from the doorway. “Baya, are you okay?”

  His genuine concern caused Baya to smile through the tears. She held out her arms and he ran to give her a hug.

  Rus wrapped his arms around them both. “It’s wonderful to have you home, Baya.”

  Down in the study, Tash frowned at the scrolls spread out before her. “Mama, why does Baya hate me?”

  Aga looked at Tash with raised eyebrows. “Don’t be silly. Baya doesn’t hate you.” As usual, Aga “fixed” everything with a simple dismissal.

  Chapter 10

  During Baya’s second year, Lua passed her trials and received her call to the Priesthood. To Baya’s relief she was stationed in a neighboring region. She was to join the leaders there. Some of the girls tried to befriend Baya, since Lua was no longer there to stop them.

  However, Baya’s trust had been permanently destroyed. They had already proven themselves to be terrible friends. Many of them were petty and mean to one another in deceptive ways. Baya had seen enough her first year to know that she wanted nothing to do with them. The only peer she trusted in this place was Vicaroy.

  As usual, Baya grabbed her mid-day meal to go.

  “Oh, come on Baya,” Fay said. “Why won’t you sit with us instead of running off to the garden?”

  “Thanks but I’ll pass.”

  “We won’t bite. Remember I was nice to you on your first day.”

  “Yeah, thanks for showing me to my room.” That was all Fay had done. She hadn’t stood up to Lua like a true friend should. Baya had seen enough of Fay the past year to know that she did “bite.” She loved to play games, only being nice when it suited her and turning on her “friends” at a moment’s notice. Not to their face, of course. Baya knew better than to fall for Fay’s nice act.

  Baya bounded out the door with her lunch in
her hands but not before she overheard Fay …

  “She’s so weird.”

  The girls around Fay laughed.

  Baya rolled her eyes. The only reason Fay was “nice” to anyone was if she thought they might be of use to her. As the daughter of Aga and showing promise with her powers, Baya might be a good ally to have. She imagined herself becoming Unawi and Fay telling her, “Remember all those times I was kind to you. I tried to be your friend.”

  “Yeah, only to stab me in the back the second I turn around,” Baya said under her breath.

  Baya searched for Vicaroy in their usual secluded spots in the garden. He was nowhere to be found. He always waited for her at this time. Disappointment caused her to sit down hard on the bench where they often meet.

  What if he didn’t want to see her anymore? What if he’d grown bored of their visits? What would she do then? It was uncomfortable to admit how much she needed his company.

  Baya shook her head. Don’t be stupid. He’s just busy … or something.

  Baya headed for Vicaroy’s tiny home on the far side of the garden. It rested against the tall rock wall that divided the palace from the rest of Una Sitka.

  Azod, Vicaroy’s caregiver, answered the door. “Mistress.” He bowed slightly and spoke cautiously.

  “Hello. Have you seen Vicaroy?” Baya asked.

  Azod frowned. He opened the door wider to reveal Vicaroy washing dishes. “I’m headed out to get supplies.”

  “Bye,” Baya and Vicaroy said in unison.

  Vicaroy dried his hands with a towel. Baya was relieved to see the light dance in his eyes. As always, he was happy to see her. Her insecurities melted away.

  “I’m glad you found me,” Vicaroy said. “I had too much to do here today to meet you in the garden.” He ran his hands through his short curly hair. “Sorry about that. Azod said the house is filthy. It’s overdue for a good cleaning so I have to spend the day working inside.” He shook his head. “I hate it.”

  Vicaroy moved a pile of clothes so Baya could sit. “Sorry the place is such a mess. We don’t spend a lot of time in here. Azod and I prefer to be in the garden and neither of us are good housekeepers.”

  Without a woman around who expected a clean home and food on the table, they could be more relaxed with household chores. “I don’t need to sit. I can help you. Besides, it seems like I sit all the time.”

  “You’re willing to do house chores?”

  “I help you in the garden sometimes. Why not here?”

  “Okay, if you’re sure. It’s boring and not work for a woman. Especially one of your status.”

  Baya gave him a playful grin. “Well luckily I’m not a woman yet.”

  They both laughed.

  Vicaroy handed her a well-worn rag. “You can dust while I finish cleaning the kitchen.”

  She moved to a cluttered shelf and began organizing the jars and wiping them down. “You know, I get the feeling that Azod doesn’t like me.”

  “I don’t think it’s that. He doesn’t even know you. Not like I do. He thinks that it’s strange that we’re such good friends.”

  “Why is that so strange?”

  “Boys and girls aren’t usually friends.”

  “And why is that?”

  “We’re too different. Girls usually get along with other girls better and it’s the same with boys — I guess.”

  Baya’s brow furrowed. “Then I wonder why we get along so well?”

  “You’re not like the other girls in this place.”

  “Are you implying that I’m like a boy?”

  “No.” He chuckled. “Well … yeah. I guess you kind of are.” He gestured to her scrubbing the shelf.

  They both laughed. Then Vicaroy’s expression turned serious. “Azod doesn’t think I should spend time with you.”

  “Why?”

  “He says that women are complicated and that they don’t treat us well. He wants me to stay away from all girls until I’m much older and … until one chooses me to be her theo.”

  “Then you would have to wait on her all the time and take care of her kids.”

  “Not the life I want.” Vicaroy kicked the leg of a table in frustration. “Azod thinks that our friendship will only lead to trouble — for me.”

  “What kind of trouble? I would never do anything to hurt you.”

  “I know. That’s what he doesn’t understand. And as long as you want to see me then there’s not much he can do about it.”

  “Right.” Baya bit her lip. “It’s not like he could tell a mistress what to do.”

  “I want to show you something. But you can’t tell anyone.”

  “Of course.” She never spoke to anyone about her time with Vicaroy. It wasn’t like she had anyone else to talk to here, anyway.

  Moving to the small fireplace he arranged a handful of straw into a pile.

  “Do you need me to light that?” Baya held up her hand.

  “No. I don’t. That’s the trick I want to show you.” He picked up a small black stone, not unlike the black stones that made up so many of the buildings in Una Sitka, including the palace. Taking a larger gray stone in the other hand, Vicaroy held them both close to the straw. He struck the black stone against the gray one.

  There was a spark of light and Baya’s mouth fell open.

  He blew on the straw. The gray smoke sprang to life as it turned into red flames. Eventually he placed some sticks on his small crackling fire.

  “That’s amazing! How did you do it?” She had never thought about how men living alone would start a fire. Vicaroy’s household was rare. After all, men need women to take care of them.

  “Not just any stones work. I accidentally discovered that if you strike this stone really hard,” he held up the black stone, “it creates a spark.”

  “Wow. It’s like magic.”

  “I almost burned a tree down when I first discovered it. It was a long time ago when I was playing in the garden. Azod told me not to tell anyone. He said that Shema would be angry if she knew I could start a fire.”

  Baya’s eyes widened. “Shema would banish you. Or worse imprison you. The old scrolls told stories of men who could do such things, not from their own powers within but by using tricks like this. Ameris condemned them, calling them evil-deeds.”

  Yet, this didn’t seem evil to Baya. There was something … natural about it. You simply hit two stones together and sparks appeared. Okay, so it was strange, but not evil.

  “That’s why you can’t tell anyone.” Vicaroy’s eyes pleaded with Baya.

  “No! I would never do that.” Baya’s eyes shone bright. “Can you show me again?”

  Chapter 11

  The mistresses that were Baya’s age talked excitedly over one another. One girl fanned herself with a piece of parchment, even though it wasn’t an overly hot day. Fay spoke to her friends, waving her arms about with more exaggeration than usual. Her audience giggled with anticipation. They, like Baya, couldn’t wait for their first inflection lesson.

  The wooden doors to the classroom creaked on their hinges as they opened. This caused the girls to fall silent. The Unawi entered the room but this time she wasn’t alone. Her creepy pet was wrapped around her.

  After the brief morning prayer ritual, Shema said, “Baya, come to the front of the class.”

  Baya dragged her feet as she made her way toward Shema. She dreaded having everyone’s eyes on her.

  “The ability to inflect allows us to read the minds of simple creatures.” Shema gestured to the giant insect resting on her shoulder. “This is Doba. Some of you may have seen him in the Great Hall. He will be kind enough to help us with our lesson today.” She scratched under his chin.

  The insect made a clicking noise and leaned into her touch.

  “Ameris was powerful enough to read people’s minds, as if they were talking out loud. But I have never known anyone with such powers as Hers.” Shema turned to Baya who had been trying not to fidget nervously while she waite
d for further instruction. “Look deeply into Doba’s eyes. And don’t be shy.” She took Baya by the shoulders and pulled her uncomfortably close. “He is harmless.”

  Baya couldn’t help but arch her back away from them. She didn’t like her space invaded especially by such a large bug. Many girls in the class chuckled at Baya’s discomfort.

  “You can do this,” Shema whispered.

  With a quick awkward glance at Shema, Baya turned to stare into the large round eyes of the creature. All four of them bulged with expectation. Their solid blackness seemed empty.

  “Now reach out —”

  Baya jerked her head toward Shema in alarm. “You mean I have to touch it?”

  “With your mind. Look him in the eyes and reach out with your powers, not your hand. It’s similar to lighting a fire or creating smoke. Feel the power radiate outward from inside you and reach into Doba’s mind.”

  Doba shifted anxiously on Shema’s shoulder as if he were eager to “speak” to someone new.

  Baya focused on hearing the creature. It took a couple heartbeats before she heard it, a voice, clear as day. She looked around to confirm that the other girls hadn’t heard anything.

  “That’s it. Now tell us what he says,” Shema prompted.

  “He says …” Baya no longer wanted to look away from the beady eyes. Instead she felt like she might fall into them. They no longer appeared empty but rather, infinite — bottomless.

  She wanted to know what he was trying to tell her. There was a sense of importance to his words. She narrowed her eyes in concentration. The voice was faint and raspy. “He wants to find a mate. He worries that he is the only one left of his kind. He’s kept in captivity primarily for these lessons and he wishes every day for —”

  “That is quite enough, Baya. Very well done. You may take your seat.” Shema scratched Doba’s chin and whispered. “You’re in a mood, now aren’t you. You had better behave, Doba.”