“Sneaking it is,” he confirmed with a sexy grin.
… … … … …
Jonah walked through the boat he’d called home for most of the year next to Andi, the girl he’d loved when he was seventeen; the girl he’d given his virginity to. It was a thing, right? You always remembered the first time, and what he and Andi had had been special. Because his family had moved, they’d never had the opportunity to ride their relationship to its conclusion–if there even would’ve been a conclusion. Who knew? Maybe they’d still be together today and his life would’ve taken a very different path. He wouldn’t be working on this cruise ship for one thing. He and Andi had always had smoking chemistry. Five minutes in her company tonight and he knew nothing had changed. He still wanted her in his bed.
Then he remembered spring break of their freshman year of college and wondered if they could’ve managed to stay together. He and Andi likely wouldn’t have survived four years of college plus three of med school on different coasts. Never mind the emotional factor of being separated from the girl he’d loved, they wouldn’t have survived the sexual drought.
Back in his freshman year, he’d been feeling sentimental for his high school sweetheart, and heard through the old high school grapevine that Andi and KK were heading to Daytona for spring break. He’d scrimped and saved and flown to Florida to surprise her. He planned to go see the love of his life and maybe spend a great week together. And when he’d arrived at the rented house he’d found her in another guy’s lap. He’d known it was stupid to visit someone as a surprise. He’d imagined a lot of reunion scenarios involving kissing and hugging, but he hadn’t imagined barging in with her laughing and perched on some guy’s thighs.
He’d run. All the way to the airport and back to California. It was somewhere over the Texas panhandle that he realized he’d been an idiot. He should’ve called Andi and planned the spring break trip. Expecting her to be waiting for him to show up on a trip when they’d barely talked or emailed the whole year was naïve to say the least. Just because he hadn’t dated anyone seriously since leaving Andi didn’t mean she’d done the same. Andi was too friendly, too fabulous to go through college alone. He’d told himself to let all dreams of her go. She was the girl he’d loved in high school. Loved–past tense. Period.
Walking alongside her now, he knew he’d been an idiot. She was even more beautiful, more interesting than when they were teenagers. All these years, wasted. They could’ve been married with kids by now, but he’d blown it by being a fucking coward. Not anymore. He had five days on the boat with her, and he promised himself he’d spend every free second wooing her.
Except one thing was confusing. She was here with the Whipped crowd, meaning she’d gone from the virgin Jonah had known to a woman who voluntarily went on a cruise specializing in some seriously kinky behavior. He hadn’t read the book, but he’d seen enough news shows and articles about it to know there was some kind of sexual revolution happening. He was all for kink, but he’d never experimented with bondage or dominance games. For Andi, maybe he’d have to try.
They arrived at one of the ship’s large night clubs and he pulled her along to the bar. Technically he wasn’t supposed to be with a passenger in this setting, but Andi wasn’t just a passenger. If pressed, he’d say she was family visiting from home. He’d get away with that.
“Hey Doctor J.” Wait staff greeted him with waves and high fives as he and Andi wound their way through the crowd of people toward the bar.
“Doctor J?” Andi asked, giving him a sidelong grin, “I like it.”
“Want a drink?” he asked.
“No. I want to dance.” She tugged him onto the crowded space they used for dancing, and started to move. He followed her happily. It had been a while since he’d danced. Usually he spent free time on the ship talking to friends and answering questions about various medical ailments. Occupational hazard; people apologized first, but then always mentioned a medical problem. Nine times out of ten he told them to make an appointment in the clinic. But tonight he got to dance. Dancing often led to touching, and that was definitely something he wanted.
They started to move together, gyrating to the music and grinning at each other. He found ways to touch her body while dancing, which he was happy to see she reciprocated. He knew he was being a total guy to notice, but it’d be impossible not to notice how Andi’s breasts moved with the music and how the curves of her hips swayed. The white gauze of her bandage stuck up behind the neckline of her dress, which of course made his mind go to the vision she’d made baring her breast on his exam table. He was a medical professional and when a patient was in the room, no matter how gorgeous she was, he remained professional. It had been nearly impossible to mask his attraction to Andi. Even smeared in blood, he’d wanted to clean her up and continue the gentle sponge bath.
And then the DJ changed up the tempo to a slow song, and Andi was in his arms, pressed against his body just like their junior year prom.
Remembering how that night had ended in a hotel room, he inwardly groaned. It’s how he wanted tonight to end, with Andi in the narrow bed in the tiny cabin he called home. He only hoped she wanted it too. Taking a risk, he pulled her closer, turning the slow dance into an upright imitation of the horizontal dance he wanted. He held his breath, willing her to accept the intimacy.
Total and complete satisfaction combined with urgent need when she pressed up hard against him, looping her arms tight around the back of his neck. Her full breasts brushed his chest, and her hips…her hips did gorgeous things to his lower body. Shit. No one who saw them dancing would buy a story about her being an old friend from home.
He looked down at her to tell her–well, what he didn’t know exactly–but the words, “Let’s get out of here?” flooded out without much thought.
Within a minute, they were in a hallway, deserted save for the ubiquitous security cameras everywhere. Damn, not private enough.
“We have to go back to the clinic,” he said. “Pretend you’re bleeding again. Or that your wound hurts.”
Her brow wrinkled. “It’s but a flesh wound.”
He smiled at the Monty Python reference. “Andi, I can’t get caught kissing you out here.”
Her brow raised. “Who said we were going to kiss?”
A step closer took him where he wanted to be, in her breathing space. “It’s gonna happen.”
Silence fell for a second and then, “Ow. My cut. Doctor J help me.”
Incorrigible was the word for her. Taking her by the arm, he helped her along to the clinic, taking the quickest route he knew. Once inside, he nodded to the nurse on the night desk and hustled Andi back to a private exam room. No cameras. It was the one place on board they could have privacy and not get questioned. Praise the spirits for clumsy wanna–be dominants who couldn’t wield a whip.
Once in the room, she stood on tiptoes and caught him in a kiss that was familiar and wonderfully new all at the same time. Their lips met, and everything he remembered about kissing this girl came flooding back in a rush of memories and desire that nearly brought him to his knees.
He had to play this right, he didn’t know what was going through her mind. Was she just caught up in the moment of seeing a past lover? Was this a vacation fling? As the ship’s doctor, he’d had his share of casual sex with crew mates. Or was she, like him, looking for more? He wanted her to remember how good they used to be together and how good it could still be.
He deepened the kiss and started backing away from the exam table, bringing her with him. When they made it to the edge of the room, he spun, pushing her back against the wall, keeping his lips glued to hers. His hands found the globes of her ass, and he lifted, drawing her into him. God, he was a goner for her. He’d thought she’d been hot as a teenager, now with a woman’s body and a woman’s desire, she was fire.
I couldn’t stop kissing him. Distantly I knew this was dangerous, but I didn’t care. Jonah could’ve pulled the hem of my dress up
, lowered his white uniform pants and taken me here in this room, up against the wall. And I wouldn’t care. I loved it. We’d always been a touchy–feely couple, but this was hot to infinity.
He pulled away from my mouth for a minute. “Turn around. Put your hands on the exam table.”
It took a second for his words and tone to process. My forehead wrinkled, but slowly I followed his orders. My ass stuck out at him and, given the length of my dress, he was getting an eyeful.
“Keep your gaze that way. Don’t turn around.”
I ignored his command. I finally got it. He thought this was what I liked. And why wouldn’t he? I was here on the Whipped fantasy cruise, right? “Uh, Jonah, I–”
“Quiet. I’ll tell you when you can talk.” His large palms gripped my hips. “Unless we need a safe word,” he muttered. “Andi, do we need a safe word?”
I bit my lip, stifling a giggle at the hesitation in his question. I should’ve come clean right then and told him BDSM was not my scene, but it was too funny and sweet that Jonah was willing to go so far out of his comfort zone for me. Or what he thought I wanted.
“Sure. Let’s do a safe word,” I said.
“Okay. How about Wolverine?”
Wolverine had been our high school mascot. “Nah. Let’s go with Doctor. That way if anyone hears me yell it, they won’t suspect…”
“They won’t suspect the doctor is spanking his patient?” Jonah said darkly, but there was laughter in his question.
I wiggled my ass at him. “Are you going to spank me, doctor? Have I been a bad girl?”
There was a moment of silence and then his hands were back cupping my ass. When nothing happened for a minute, I cocked my head to glance back. “Jonah? Everything okay?”
“Fine. I’m trying to decide how many times to spank you. Maybe once for every year we’ve been apart? Twelve. Or once for every time we made love.” Two.
His words melted me, but they made me realize that while Jonah was having fun with me, I wanted something more than games. Also, I knew the man in the room with me in a different iteration. I knew boy Jonah. The person behind me was Jonah as a man, and I realized I didn’t know him all that well. Like, I didn’t know what had happened our freshman year when he stopped returning my phone calls and emails. I also realized I was pissed. We’d had something special and he’d let it go as easily as a giveaway t–shirt you get at a party.
“Andi? I didn’t say you could move.”
I ignored the order and stood, swiveling to face him, the exam table at my back. “Doctor,” I said, tapping out before the games began. “I’m not sure I’m into getting spanked by a stranger.” I neglected to include that I was totally into getting spanked by him. Just not at this exact second. With a quick hop I sat, with legs swinging off the table.
Jonah ran a hand through his hair, then fiddled with a button on his shirt. We’d kept the lights low in the exam room, but it was enough to see he was pink–cheeked. “Is that how you see us? As strangers?”
“Honestly? No, and that’s what scares me. I keep remembering how great we were as a couple, and it’s like we never stopped being us. I feel like I could fall back in love with you.”
Instead of the L word scaring him as I’d half expected, he took a step closer. “Would that be a problem? Falling in love with me?” He reached for me to resume the kissing, but I turned my face. He pulled back and sat next to me on the table. “It’s okay, Andi. We don’t have to do anything. I can walk you back to your cabin.”
“And disappoint KK?” I joked, but then I got serious. “Jonah, if I thought this would be just a fun night on my vacation, I’d already be naked on this table.”
“But?” he pressed when I grew silent, trying to gain courage to say what I wanted to say next.
“But like I said, at one time I loved you, and I’m at a place in my life where I don’t want this to be meaningless sex. I’m having all these feelings for you, and I want it to mean something if we…do more.” I stopped talking and stared at my hands, which were in a ball in my lap. It had taken guts to spill my feelings to Jonah, but I was proud of myself also. Now I just had to wait for his reaction and pray he was feeling the same as me.
“Oh, thank God,” he said, shocking and elating me at the same time. “I was worried you were seeing me as a vacation fling or some kind of sentimental throwback.”
My gaze flew up to meet his. “Not at all,” I said firmly. “But, we have to clear something up first.”
“What’s that?”
“What happened to us? We managed to stay good friends our senior year, but what changed in college? Why did you stop returning my calls?”
He visibly swallowed, and I braced myself, ready to hear information that could slice me to the bone. I expected a story about him dating other classmates, therefore I was shocked at what came out of his mouth.
“I came to visit you,” he said. “Freshman year during spring break.”
“You did? Why don’t I remember? You’d think I’d remember you visiting, but you never came to see me. Not once.”
“I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “You didn’t know about it. I went to a party you were at poolside.”
I struggled to remember the night, but as spring break had been a blur of parties by the pool, no one night struck a chord. “You came to Florida? I don’t remember…”
“I went to the party. You were sitting on some guy’s lap. I left before you could see me.”
I cocked my neck, giving him a quizzical stare. “Why would you do that? You just left?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t say I was the brightest bulb in the pack. At least I realized that on the airplane ride home.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t say something. You just left the party without at least saying hi.” I was totally confused and starting to get angry.
He took a deep breath and collapsed back onto the exam table next to me. “I didn’t come over, cause it killed me to see you’d moved on and were together with another guy.”
Oh. “Oh.” I fell silent for a second. He’d kind of rocked my world with his confession. I felt like I should apologize, but I’d done nothing wrong. We hadn’t been dating. I hadn’t cheated.
“I know it sounds idiotic, Andi, but I couldn’t help feeling betrayed. I hadn’t dated at all my senior year. I went to the prom with a group of friends.”
“I know. It’s not stupid. I remember your email telling me about your prom.” I’d been relieved too that he hadn’t found someone special in California. When he’d moved, I’d fully expected to hear accounts of gorgeous blonde beach bunnies, and been comforted when he’d continued to email and call to talk, never mentioning other girls.
“I was happy you were having fun at college. It was what I wanted for you. To be honest, my college years weren’t that fun. Combining undergrad with med school doesn’t leave a lot of time for amusement. It would’ve been selfish of me to ask you to get back together and be faithful across the country when you should’ve been going to parties and going out on dates, but it doesn’t change how I felt when I saw the reality of you dating a guy that wasn’t me.”
I wrapped my arms around my belly. “I wish you had stayed in Florida and said hi to me. I didn’t date anyone seriously my freshman year, especially during spring break. What if we could’ve gotten back together? I loved you, Jonah.”
“And I loved you. But what if you started to resent me? And you would’ve, Andi. You’re too pretty and fabulous to spend four years in hiding from life waiting for your boyfriend to have time for you. So I did what I thought was right.”
My stomach flip–flopped as I tried to process what he’d done. “I don’t know what to say,” I finally answered.
“I did what I thought was right, but it was completely the wrong decision. I shouldn’t have run from the party. I should’ve pulled you off the other guy’s lap and taken you back.”
“And that’s why we lost touch freshman year,” I s
aid, finally understanding.
He nodded. “I gave you some bullshit line about being really busy with school and then did my best not to answer your calls and emails. I hoped you’d give up and remember me as that boy you dated once in high school.”
“You’re an idiot,” I said teasingly.
“Uh huh but, in my defense, I was eighteen. Most eighteen–year old boys are pretty stupid.”
“We loved each other, Jonah. And you stopped calling. Do you know how much that hurt? I thought you were my best friend, but friends don’t do that to each other.” I squeezed his hand to let him know I wasn’t really that mad anymore. Holding a grudge for twelve years would make me all kinds of petty. At the same time, I wasn’t quite ready to jump into bed with him, even knowing more about what had happened. “I think I’m ready to call it a night.” I stood and stepped to the door, “Walk me back to my cabin?”
A faint smile crossed his lips. “Sure.” He stood and stretched his taut muscles.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself. I wished he looked more like my doctor from home, who was nearing retirement. Arousal from earlier still flowed through my blood, and seeing the thin muscular line of skin between his shirt and pants waistband hadn’t helped cool me off. He had to know the effect he had on me. Damn it!
“Ok, ready.” He scooped up his employee I.D. badge and herded me out down the hallway.
I remained silent during the long walk back to my cabin. There was too much risk I’d say something stupid or invite him back to my cabin, and I needed time to process my feelings. If it was only about the physical, we’d be back in the exam room naked and horizontal, but the situation was complicated. I didn’t know how to handle what he’d told me, or the entire situation. I’d never read an etiquette book about the rules of being trapped on a ship with the former love of your life, and what to do if he wanted to be with you.
Brought to His Knees-Tough Guys Laid Low By Love Page 66
