by Candy Harper
‘Well, he’s single now, isn’t he?’
I bashed her over the head.
But I won’t say that it hadn’t occurred to me.
In fact, all the time we were sat on the swings, (watching Westy attempt to make Elliot fly off the roundabout, by spinning it at the speed of light and then stopping it dead) Ethan and his singleness kept pinging into my head. But there’s no reason to think that just because he’s split with up with Spawn that he’ll be interested in me.
SATURDAY 30TH JUNE
Since everyone has been going on and on about the mock exams, and since I really quite like not failing stuff, I decided to spend today revising. It started out quite dull but then I got inventive and started making up songs to help me remember stuff and acting out history with Sam’s teddies. I think I’ve covered a lot of ground.
They should put me on kids’ TV.
By the evening I was more than ready for a bit of relaxation.
I said to Dad, ‘I’m going to meet the others by the river.’
Dad nodded in a way that clearly suggested that he didn’t think that I’d done enough revision.
‘I’ve been revising all day.’
He nodded again.
‘There’s only so much you can do in one session. You don’t want me to become so loaded with knowledge that my little brain explodes, do you?’
‘That would certainly be bad news for the curtains. I’ve only just got out that mustard stain your grandmother left. I wish she’d just use a napkin like everybody else.’
‘So . . . I’m going.’
‘Make sure you’re back before dark. Have a nice time.’
I sighed heavily. ‘I’ll try. At least it will be a break from your constant nagging.’
I picked up Megs and a jumbo tube of Smarties and we went to meet the others.
‘Warm isn’t it?’ Megs said. ‘Perfect night for getting romantic. Do you think Ethan will be there?’
I gave her a look. ‘If he is, he’s not going to be in the mood for romance, is he? He’s just split up with his girlfriend.’
‘So? Out with the old and in with the new.’
Oh my. I had to put a stop to this before she really got started. ‘Promise you won’t say anything stupid to Ethan?’
‘Of course not.’ And she mimed locking up her lips, which was a waste of time because she had to unlock them to carry on shovelling in Smarties at a rate that meant I barely managed to eat more than a few dozen myself.
As soon as we caught sight of the others sat under a tree, Megs shouted, ‘Ethan! Faith’s here!’
If I’d thought I could have spat a mouthful of Smarties at her while still looking attractive I would have done it.
LATER
It was a while before Ethan and I ended up sat next to each other.
‘Sooooo,’ I said in an attempt to fill up the silence.
‘So, I split up with Dawn?’
‘I wasn’t going to say anything about that. Honestly.’
‘That would have been weird.’ He pushed his hair out of eyes. ‘Look, it’s all right, Faith. I’m fine. I mean, quite hacked off and feeling a bit depressed-annoyed-hungry, but generally fine.’
I handed him the tube of Smarties.
‘Thanks.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Breaking up sucks.’
‘It’s all right. I think it was for the best. I mean, I am a little put out that someone would rate a big-jawed athletic type over me and my skinny-but-interesting look, but the point is, I think Dawn and I have got very different ideas about going out with someone. If I like someone then I’m with them, but Dawn was more into . . .’
‘Getting friendly with someone else over a Big Mac?’
His expression changed.
‘Big Mac?’
Uh oh.
‘I thought . . . didn’t she snog the big-jawed athlete in McDonalds?’
‘Where did you hear that?’ The intensity of his voice made me really wish I’d kept my mouth shut.
‘Because it wasn’t from me,’ he snapped. ‘I never heard anything about McDonalds. Ryan told me that he’d seen her at the skate park with some idiot.’
‘Oh.’ Why did I open my big mouth? And why did he still care how many sporty types Spawn had kissed?
‘So what’s this about the McDonalds?’
‘It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Where did you hear it?’ He was staring at me hard; clearly he wasn’t going to let this drop.
‘If you really want to know, since you seem to care so much, even though you said you were fine about breaking up; I saw her kissing a boy,’ I said. ‘At least, I think I did.’
His face clouded. ‘And you didn’t say anything?’
‘I wasn’t sure! And I didn’t think it was any of my business and then I was going t—’
‘You should have told me!’ He said it so loudly that everyone else stopped talking and turned around to look at us.
A minute ago we were having a nice chat and now he was angry with me because Dawn had messed him about.
‘I can’t believe you, Faith!’
‘Hey! It’s not my fault that your ex-girlfriend is a serial snogger.’
I expected him to keep right on shouting, in fact, I wish he had. Instead he said in this bitter voice, ‘You know what, Faith? I’ve had enough of fighting and I’ve had enough of people being idiots.’
And he walked off.
Which put a bit of a dampener on the happy atmosphere.
I felt horrible. The others all agreed that it wasn’t my fault that Spawn had upset him, but I know that that’s not really the point. He was disappointed in me; I could see it in his eyes.
I should have told him.
JULY
SUNDAY 1ST JULY
I’m so miserable about Ethan that it’s actually been a relief to throw myself into revision and rehearsing what I’m going to say to the prefect selection committee.
LATER
All the little molecules in my Chemistry book kept rearranging themselves into Ethan’s face, so in the end I called him. He didn’t answer. On the fifth attempt I left a rambling message about how sorry I am for not telling him about Dawn. I hope he listens to it.
MONDAY 2ND JULY
All the teachers are talking about at school is how the mocks are next week. They keep telling us how hard we all need to study. I wish they’d stop lecturing and maybe give us some hints on what exactly we need to revise. Every time I asked Mrs McCready if something was going to be on the exam paper she said, ‘It could be, Faith.’
‘This is ridiculous. You’re basically saying that anything we’ve learnt in the last year could be in the exam.’
‘That’s right.’
‘So you’re expecting us to remember everything that we’ve been taught?’
She nodded.
Seriously, that would be difficult enough if I had been listening the first time she taught it to us, but as it is I’ve got to learn the entire syllabus in a week.
Teachers have very unrealistic expectations of what teenagers can fit in around the bare minimum of eating, sleeping, texting and TV watching.
And moping about stupid boys.
LATER
I asked the girls if they were ready for the prefect interviews this week. Angharad has rehearsed her response to fifty-seven possible questions. Megs says she’s thought about it and Lily seems to think that whatever comes out of her mouth at the time will be fine.
Given that, on various occasions, I’ve seen pebbles, elastic bands and a life size model of a gerbil come of Lily’s mouth, I’m not so sure.
TUESDAY 3RD JULY
I’m having a bad day. I haven’t heard from Ethan and there’s no way I can revise everything that I need to know before next week.
I’d been working solidly all evening, but then I started thinking about the prefect interviews on Thursday. I’d just started making notes about what someone who was definitely a prefect ty
pe might say when Mum came in and said, ‘Is that revision?’
‘No, it’s not revision! It’s for the prefect interview. I keep telling you, I can’t revise every single minute!’
Mum sat down on my bed and put a hand on my shoulder. ‘Is everything all right, sweetheart?’
‘No it’s not! My main problem is that I am trying to write something really intelligent and you’re clouding the water by saying stupid stuff.’ Then I felt bad because she was obviously trying to be nice. ‘I’ve just got so much to do.’
She slipped an arm around me. ‘Do you think it might be time to take a break? You barely even stopped for your tea.’
‘I don’t need a break. I need to think of some convincing lies that will persuade a bunch of doddering idiots that I am very sweet and honest and an obvious choice as a prefect.’
‘You’re taking this prefect business very seriously.’
She was laughing at me. ‘I do take things seriously sometimes, you know. It’s nice that people have got this image of me as being all super happy and light all the time, but I am quite capable of being serious too.’
‘I know you are. I’m your Mum. I remember that project on Egyptians at primary school when you built a papier mache pyramid, complete with the burial chamber inside. And I remember the night before your first ever exam. I know you don’t like it to get out, but I do know how hard you work on things that are important to you.’
‘Keep that to yourself, will you? We’ll let the rest of the world think I’m naturally brilliant.’
‘You are naturally brilliant, love, and when you want to be, you’re also a good worker. I’m very proud of you for that, but I don’t like to see you getting upset and I’m wondering why this prefect interview is so important, because keeping the rules and supporting the teachers has never been one of your special interests before.’
I took a deep breath and for some stupid reason a little tear leaked out of the corner of my eye.
‘I just wanted to do a good interview,’ I sniffed. ‘Everything has gone wrong recently. I keep messing things up: I upset Megs over that French exchange business, now I’ve upset Ethan, even though I honestly did try to tell him his girlfriend was cheating. And I’ve got so much work to do before the exams. I thought this would be something I could do; everybody else seems to think I can ace it so I just . . .’ Two more tears leaked out.
Mum hugged me. ‘I’m sorry you’re having a tough time, darling. Friends have their ups and downs. Everything is fine with Megs now, isn’t it?’
I nodded.
‘Megan loves you. I can tell that all your friends think you’re great. I’m sorry if Ethan is cross, maybe you can talk to him about it?’
‘Maybe.’
‘As for the exams, just do your best. It won’t be the end of world if you fail them.’
‘I’m not going to fail them! I never said anything about failing them!’
Mum laughed. ‘Then try not to get too stressed; it doesn’t matter if you’re not top of the class.’
Obviously it does matter, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to avoid getting stressed, but it was still nice to hear her say that.
There was some more hugging.
‘Now, about this prefect interview. This is voluntary, isn’t it? Are you sure you really want to do it?’
I thought about it. ‘I do. I think it will be fun. You get to be in charge of stuff and I am good at organising things.’
‘You mean you’re bossy?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay, but I don’t want you to tie yourself up in knots about this interview. I have to say that I’ve always found you’re ready with a smart answer even without rehearsals.’
That’s true.
‘So maybe you should just take the interview as it comes, be your usual energetic, persuasive self and if that’s not what they’re looking for, stuff ‘em.’
Which is quite good advice when you think about it.
LATER
I feel a lot better. I’m pretty sure I can convince some old people that I’m not as bad as I look. After all, I do it with Granny all the time. Exam-wise, I just have to make sure I revise every day. I already know more now than I did a week ago, so I’ve made a good start.
And as for Ethan, I’ve decided that I want him to know that I did try to tell him about Spawn, but ultimately if he’s going to hold a mistake against me and stop liking me because I’m not perfect, then that’s his loss.
WEDNESDAY 4TH JULY
I was so determined to speak to Ethan that I met the boys arriving for debating club at the gates.
‘Ethan? Can I speak to you?’ I asked.
‘You can,’ he said, without looking at me properly. ‘But whether you do seems to depend on if you’ve got something that you really ought to tell me. Because I find if you have then you usually don’t speak.’
I wasn’t going to let his sarcasm get to me. ‘It’s hardly fair to say “usually”. I’ve only failed to tell that your girlfriend is snogging someone else once.’
‘As far as I know.’
‘It was only once, I promise.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ He carried on striding across the car park.
‘It does matter,’ I said, trying to match his pace. ‘I feel terrible that I didn’t tell you. The thing is that, apparently, I’ve got quite a big mouth and for once in my life I didn’t want to just blurt out something if it was the wrong thing to do.’
He pushed open the door to the English block and turned back to look at me. ‘How could it be the wrong thing to do?’
All the reasons that I had originally come up with disappeared from my mind. ‘Believe it or not, I did actually decide to tell you, but you rushed off after debating club last week, so I thought I’d tell you on Friday, at the park, but you didn’t turn up then either.’
He took the stairs two at a time. ‘And your texting thumbs were in plaster?’
‘That didn’t seem like a particularly sensitive way to break the news.’
‘For future reference, if you think that someone is cheating on me, you can definitely let me know by text. Or telegram. Or a badger who enjoys running errands. Just so long as you tell me.’
‘I will, I promise I will.’
‘Yeah, well, you probably won’t get the opportunity. I’m off relationships, they all seem to end badly.’
‘Not always.’
He shrugged. There was a pause. We were stood in the doorway of Mrs Lloyd-Winterson’s classroom by this point and I wondered if I should just leave it, but then he gave this big sigh.
‘Listen Faith, I didn’t mean to have a tantrum the other night.’ He pushed his curls off his face and he looked so miserable that my heart hurt. ‘I’m sorry for being horrible,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t take things out on you.’
‘That’s okay.’
His mouth did something that was almost a smile, but sadder and bitterer, then he dropped into a chair next to Cameron. His face was pale and there were rings around his eyes. I wanted to give him a hug, but I don’t think our reconciliation has got that far yet.
I hope he’s all right.
THURSDAY 5TH JULY
Prefect interviews tomorrow.
Still, it’s really just half an hour of talking about myself.
I do that most Geography lessons.
FRIDAY 6TH JULY
I was worried about who would be on the panel for my interview. I was just praying that it wouldn’t be Miss Ramsbottom.
Or any of the other teachers that I’ve tormented and harassed.
Which doesn’t leave that many.
Fortunately, when I walked into the interview room, the three people I found were Miss Linnie, the new Art teacher who I’ve never even spoken to, Mrs Lloyd-Winterson and a woman I didn’t recognise.
‘Good afternoon, Faith,’ the unknown lady said. ‘I am chairperson of the school governors.’ She looked like a Granny in an advert for sweets, with grey hair and a
floral dress. I bet she’s never worn a grass skirt.
‘Good afternoon,’ I said as if I completely meant it.
‘We’re going to ask you a few questions. If there’s anything you can’t answer just say so.’
She smiled and I smiled back. I don’t think there’s ever been any question that I didn’t have an answer for.
I sat down and they all picked up their pens. Governor Lady cleared her throat. ‘What qualities do you think a prefect needs, Faith?’
I’d thought about this one. ‘I think a prefect needs to be an excellent communicator. Part of the prefects’ role is representing the student body to the Leadership team. Obviously, you need to have a clear understanding of the needs of other students and you need to be able to communicate them. Prefects also represent the school in other areas, like the City Youth Council and I think confident, clear communication is important to enable them to represent the school in its best light.’
They nodded their heads and scribbled some things down, which I took as a good sign. Of course, they could have been writing Has the eyes of a serial killer who hides bodies down wells but I’m trying to stay positive.
‘What experiences have you had that you think will help to make you a good prefect?’ Miss Linnie asked.
Given that prefects are mostly used for herding unruly Year Seven and Eights I think that time I couldn’t find the remote and was forced to watch a programme about how lions manage to position gazelles right where they can sink their teeth into them is probably the most relevant experience I’ve had, but instead I said, ‘I think every day at Westfield high has helped to prepare me for being a prefect. The school has taught me to use my initiative; to recognise the needs of others; and, most of all, what a difference it makes when people work together.’
I thought I might have gone a bit far there on the sick-making scale, but they were all beaming like headlights so I pressed on. ‘I’ve been a keen member of the choir, which has taught me about commitment. I’ve arranged a Christmas box delivery for the local elderly which was a great opportunity to hone my organisational skills, and I’ve also set up a debating club which has been a brilliant opportunity for us all to improve our speaking skills.’
