"You're accepting it now," he said soothingly.
"I'm not accepting anything!" she protested. "This just doesn't happen!"
He came to his feet so quickly that Casey jumped in fright as he seemed to cross the room and stand in front of her with the grace of a cat. "But it has happened," he stated with such finality that the tears in her eyes stopped and she could only stare at him as his fingers reached up and tenderly stroked the hair back from her face. When she felt him brush a strand behind her ear, Casey thought she would lose it.
She felt her throat begin to burn with the desire to release the scream lying just below a very thin surface of control. All her stifled emotions throbbed inside her chest as they had in the sandstorm. It was as though someone had punched her even harder this time, and her body began to tremble uncontrollably as the horrible sensation of fear spread over her. She was going to have to accept this reality.
"Yes, accept it, Casey," he whispered with more compassion. "Stop fighting the fear and all your pain will ease."
"I hate it when you do that!" she said, turning away quickly. She stepped the few feet to the bed, grabbing on to the blanket and twisting it in her fists. "It isn't fair you can tell what's going on inside me! It's… it's invasion of privacy! Leave me alone!" Inside she wished she could twist him as she clenched the blanket harder, or punch and scream at him… anything to make this whole unbelievable dream disappear, and him too, since he seemed to be the biggest part of it.
She heard the click of his heels on the tile as he walked up behind her. When he placed his hand on her shoulder, it was all she could do to keep from shuddering beneath his heat penetrating her skin. Her urge to throw a tantrum momentarily subsided as she recalled when he'd first found her nearly dead in the sandstorm. Again she began to sense the protection she'd felt under his coat… with her head against his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat. She wanted to fall into that safety again, to know the peace she'd felt when she was wrapped in his strong arms… and she felt her own grip release from the blanket.
She closed her eyes and swallowed the longing in her throat. Whatever it was that this man possessed, be it carnal or divine, she realized deep down she was going to have to surrender and simply accept his help if she was ever going to get her life back. He might have the advantage, but she just didn't know if she could truly accept anything as crazy as this!
"I'm not using an unfair advantage, Casey. I'm not using any gift you don't also possess. However, I do have suggestions to make the adventure more enjoyable."
She could hear the smile in his words and she fought against his gentle pull to turn her to face him.
"Look." His voice was insistently tender. "I don't know why you were brought back to this time. Only you know your answers, and they will eventually come to you if you don't fight them with your fear. There is a pattern to all things, and you are following your pattern, Casey O'Reilly. The sooner you realize that and start paying attention, the sooner you can fulfill your purpose here and get on with your life."
She spun around, desperate for something to cling to, some explanation. "Get on with my life! Just where is my life, Luke? You said I was brought back in time. Who or what brought me back here? What is the purpose of all this? You tell me!"
"I don't know how to answer you," he whispered. "I could give you some interesting mathematical equations, some esoteric words, but I can't really describe what you are seeking. It's your adventure, Casey, and this is mine right now. At this time in history your adventure and mine have crossed. Be assured, there is a reason for it, and once we have fulfilled that reason, our paths will separate. I'm here to help you, Casey. Your fight isn't with me."
She blinked several times, trying to absorb everything he was saying. "I'm not fighting you, Luke… I'm not fighting anybody."
His playful smile widened.
"Who would I be fighting then?" she whispered back, secretly dreading his answer before his lips even moved.
He teasingly raised his forefinger to her lips to hush them like a child. "You are fighting, señorita… but you are only fighting yourself."
She saw the triumphant smile spread over his face and that twinkle came back into his eyes. She defiantly pushed his hand away from her face and glared at him.
"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm fighting, all right, but not with myself… I'm fighting for myself!" She felt the burning lump in her throat rising again. Memories of her life before she began this insane adventure to visit her sister flooded through her brain. Some adventure… full of purpose, she sarcastically lectured herself. She closed her eyes. Although she knew it was childish, she suddenly wished she could just click her heels, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and go back… only back to her time.
"Casey," she heard him say softly as she felt him lay his hands gently on her shoulders. "Stop fighting and accept where you are now, in this moment… stop wishing it was something else. There may be other ways of time travel, like clicking your heels together." She opened her eyes to see those dimples coming back to his cheeks as he continued. "Accepting wherever I am is being in the moment. There is no place but now… wherever it is. This is one of the first principles I learned, and I can only pass along to you what I've discovered."
He'd done it again. She shoved at his chest like an angry child to create distance between them and walked around to the other side of the bed. "Principles! Like this is some stupid course I'm taking and you're my mind-reading teacher! Ha! What a laugh."
He chuckled. "I did say a sense of humor was also a valuable tool. Go ahead and laugh. I've found it helps a great deal."
"You're mad, do you know that?" she exclaimed, moving closer to the pillow. "This whole thing is some huge, funny joke to you, a lark! Well, lemme tell ya, what I saw out there is no laughing matter! There are cowboys who wouldn't even know what toothpaste is, let alone who've seen the inside of a dentist's office in their entire lives! Or a shower! Indians selling things on corners! Women who smoke cigars and dress like they're in the road show of Man of La Mancha! There's horseshit and God knows what else thrown onto dirt roads, and if I really want to get into being pissed off, I could just scream at having to use a chamber pot! How's that for acceptance!" She knew her face was red, but she stared at him insolently, charging him to respond.
Luke threw back his head and laughed. "See?" he asked, still chuckling at her outburst. "You have to laugh at the way your mind is fighting this. It is funny… for you. Just laugh, Casey."
She wasn't laughing. As a matter of fact, she couldn't remember the last time she actually did laugh. It had to have been in Pennsylvania!
"So you're saying this was all my doing… coming back here, back to 1878." She rolled her eyes in disbelief at what was coming out of her mouth. "This 'adventure,' as you seem to like to call it, was all my idea? I traveled through time to obtain some greater purpose for myself?" She began hysterically shaking her head in denial. It was too much. She didn't even dream this vividly.
He nodded. "Only you could design this particular adventure, señorita. I surely couldn't."
"You… you're impossible!" she yelled, throwing the pillow at him.
He batted the pillow easily back onto the mattress. "I'm patient. Not impossible. Is it so difficult to accept I have nothing to do with whatever is unfolding in your life? I came upon your car and I made the choice to come back to help you. I didn't send you back here. You were already here. I came back for you."
Like an arrow hitting the bull's-eye, his words struck deeply inside her. She felt the tears she had been holding inside for so long burst into her eyes, demanding release. Furious, embarrassed, confused, and scared, she climbed onto the bed and clutched the other pillow to her chest. She buried her face and just sobbed… for Amy, her niece, her life, everything she had left behind. She just wanted her life back. There had been so much she wanted to do. She hadn't been ready to be taken away from it so quickly and—
"We will get back, Casey," he said in a gent
le voice, and she felt him sitting down on the edge of the bed. "We can return to the year 2000, though only nature can provide the way. Presently it is beyond my power to change anything, except the way I view the situation. I must wait… like you… and watch as the pattern unfolds. But there will be a way for you to return. Do not doubt that."
She sniffled and swiped at her eyes with her forearm. Lifting her head, she turned around to look at him. "How?"
"I don't know… yet." He smiled tenderly. "But you will go home."
She heard the compassionate assurance in his voice and it bolstered her hope. Sniffing more, she turned herself completely around and sat up in bed. She straightened her wide skirt over her crossed knees, then scrunched the tearstained pillow under her arms. Clutching it for a sense of safety, she felt like a kid again, unsure and seeking answers as she twirled the multicolored tassels between her fingers. "So we're going to get back… back there?"
He nodded. "It was part of the reason I came for you, to help you return."
"And what's the other part?" She realized she owed him thanks for all his help, but she figured she could take care of that when they got back to the future. Right now she really wanted to know how he planned to get them there.
He shrugged and pulled a match out of his front pocket. Striking it on the heel of his boot, he relit the end of his cigar and puffed several times. "I'm not sure what the other part is exactly… I'm waiting to be shown."
Oh, she wasn't going to go down that path. First she had to get it into her head that this was temporary. She would see Amy again and have her normal, old life back. Well, her life anyway, for she certainly was a changed woman after this experience, and quite frankly, she didn't know if she would ever view anything the same way again.
He smiled and patted her knee. "You must pull yourself together now, Casey." He then stood up from the edge of the mattress and began walking to the door.
Abruptly she felt vulnerable. "But—" She was dumbfounded that she really hadn't gotten the full reassurance she had hoped would be forthcoming.
"We'll talk more about your return later. In a few moments we are expected at the noon meal and you will be introduced to the entire family. Of course, you've already met the delightfully free-spirited Rosalinda, but I would act surprised if I were you when you're formally introduced. Remember to protect the child. Her heart is in the right place, yet her impulsiveness sometimes makes it a challenge for her parents." He grinned knowingly at her.
"I don't think I can meet anyone right now," Casey mumbled, stunned that she was actually beginning to accept that she had time-traveled into the lives of these people.
"Do your best. Don Felipe and his gracious wife, Doña Isabela, are most anxious to speak with you and extend their hospitality."
"But, Luke," she protested, feeling like she could cry again. "I'm not exactly in the right frame of mind now. I can't do this!"
"Yes, you can," he insisted, his eyes narrowing as he again puffed on his cigar. "There is no other moment, save this. You must not offend our gracious hosts."
"Well, this moment brings with it a lot to assimilate," she whined. "I've never time-traveled before, ya know? And this is more than a little falling apart I've had here!"
"The next principle is to trust yourself."
"What?" That got her attention.
"Accept where you are and the customs where you find yourself and then… trust yourself, Casey."
Those damn, damn words from that damn, damn song raced through her head again.
"Well, get outta here then," she commanded in an irritated voice, as she waved her hand toward the door. "How am I supposed to get my act together when you're playing with my head and making me more confused?"
His smile pierced all barriers she had constructed, and as the door closed, Casey had to admit… she was no longer raving.
She didn't think she was going crazy any longer, or if she did, she had company now… and Luke said they would get back. He didn't know when or where, but she had to trust someone, and in truth, he hadn't done anything harmful to her. Except for that dumb nun story. How the hell was she supposed to pull that off?
"Trust yourself," she repeated with dismay.
Six
"Tsk… such a pity! Your hair, muy corto… so chopped, señorita, but Juana will fix it. You watch."
Seated in front of the older woman, Casey could merely stare at her stomach as Juana ran the brush through Casey's feathered hair and clucked over the shorter pieces. She wanted to tell the woman that her hair happened to be very stylish, and she had paid someone a small fortune to cut it before her vacation, but somehow knew Juana would find such information impossible… so she shut up and allowed the woman free rein. What did she really care what she looked like now? It was enough that she was willing to go along with this charade and just pretend it wasn't the most bizarre thing she'd ever heard of happening in anyone's life.
"I will use a good pomade to your hair… then it will lie flat and we can pin it back."
Casey bobbed beneath the woman's strong hands gently pressing down on top of her head. "It sounds lovely, Juana." She smiled with a wince.
"Oh, do not worry, señorita. I will create such a fashion for you that you will have everyone's ojos"—Juana pointed to the laugh lines around her own eyes—"looking at you," she finished with a big-toothed grin and a wink. Casey merely nodded as the woman quickly spun around and hurried from the room, telling her she would return immediately.
Worry… ? Nothing really mattered any longer, Casey thought with a sigh. She would just go along with this madness until there was a way for her to return to her sister. Luke had promised. Well, he hadn't exactly promised, but he did say they would return, and he had come back to this time to find her and help her. She knew she owed him a great deal already, for she couldn't even imagine what it might have been like had she been alone now. Still, a bigger part of her couldn't grasp that such a thing as time travel was possible… and that Luke seemed to do it regularly. Like it was a common practice. Who was that man?
She had no more time to ponder the question as the door flew open with a knock and Juana burst in with goodies… a pale pink gown over her arm, and hands full of white and pink flowers that resembled hibiscus.
"Come, change. Doña Isabela had me bring this dress for you." Juana waved it around with a grand smile. "It belonged to her daughter Marguerita, who is now married." She placed the gown on the bed and emptied her hands of flowers and tiny hairpins. "Now, come… we must hurry, for you must make a grand impression!" the woman said with excitement as she reached out and grabbed Casey's arms.
What a process! So many laces and slips… She wondered how women ever dressed themselves alone with all these buttons and layers. More than ever, she wished for her simple jeans and sweater.
"Ay, por Dios. What are we going to do with those shoes?" Juana worried aloud.
Casey looked down to her blue Italian leather flats. Except for a bit of a burn mark on one heel, they were nothing to be ashamed of in any time. "What's wrong with them?"
"Bueno, está bien," Juana sighed. "They will have to do. Keep your feet under the gown and no one will notice, for I am going to make sure they are delighted with your face," Juanita said as she playfully patted Casey's cheeks.
"My face?"
"Now, sit," Juana commanded, pulling Casey's arm and leading her back to the chair. "I must work some brujería… some magic," the woman translated with a nod, "in a hurry."
Casey wanted to laugh. So it would take magic to make her presentable? She sat back down and patted the voluminous skirt around her. Juana was behind her, brushing her hair and slathering the oily pomade over the short locks. Using tiny, sharp pins that pricked her scalp, Juana pressed and pulled every strand tightly to the back of her head. Casey bit her bottom lip to stop from crying out in protest. The woman told her to hold the flowers and hand them to her one at a time. Casey patiently did as she was told, wondering if she was going
to look like a cartoon character.
Frills, flounces, lace, and flowers were not exactly her style. She felt she was more tailored, preferring Armani to Bob Mackie any day… even if she didn't have the money to dress haute couture in any time. She just knew what suited her. And flowers in her hair! Juana was hiding her short hair by creating a facade of flowers at the nape of her neck. She was going to look like a blonde flamenco dancer. She almost giggled aloud at the thought. Imagine. Well, just go with the moment.
As she handed Juana another pink blossom, she sighed with surrender. Luke was right. Instead of fighting, it made more sense to go along with the customs and try to fit in with the others. What had he said yesterday? She could make this waiting time miserable or treat it like an adventure? The choice was hers.
"There," Juana pronounced triumphantly, patting the last flower into place. "Now, stand up and let me see all of you."
Casey pushed herself off the chair and took a deep breath as she turned toward Juana.
Juana stepped back and clasped her hands together at her chest. Casey could see tears coming to her bright eyes. "Señorita Casey… you are beautiful, muy bonita."
Casey heard the awe in the woman's voice and felt the heat of a blush creep up her neck to settle on her cheeks. "If that is so, Juana, then it is your hard work that makes me appear as such." She knew she was attractive, given the right clothes and makeup, but beautiful?
"Oh, no, señorita," Juana whispered, taking Casey's hand. "You are beautiful. Before… well…" The woman paused and smiled, gazing at her again. "Well, now, not only God will know of your beauty, the whole world will know."
Heaven On Earth Page 10
