"Well, yes… I'm here," she whispered, feeling like something inside of her was breaking away as she gave her answer and Luke patted her shoulders before withdrawing his hands. She had spent her life time-traveling… right out of her life! She was always worrying about the past or the future. It wasn't until she was forced in the last four days to live in the present that she actually began to enjoy each day as an adventure. It was great! She had time-traveled, lost her past, had no idea what the next hour was going to bring, let alone the next day… but she was truly experiencing the present, and she was loving it!
"I need to sit down."
Luke held her arm and led her to the wooden bench in the shade. Sinking down upon it, Casey kept holding her chest. This was unbelievable!
"Breathe," Luke counseled.
"Okay," she breathed. That advice was acceptable.
"Breathe deeply."
She nodded and found herself calming down. Luke sat beside her and placed his hand on her back. He made soothing circles, and Casey experienced even more peace enter her body. Soon she was breathing normally and she turned her face slightly to see him. "Do you do this often?" she asked, and paused. "I mean, time-travel?"
He shrugged. "I can't say that I plan it. It unfolds before me and I follow the path. I do have a choice, Casey. I simply choose to be of service when I am called."
"Who calls you?"
"Life does."
"That's a pretty broad statement," she replied, wondering if he heard the hint of frustration in her voice.
"Okay, Life… it's that lighter-wave energy we were talking about earlier. I guess you could say that I made a choice to be in service to that frequency."
"Wait. You said love was that frequency. You're in service to love?" If he said yes, she might just slide off this bench to the ground.
"What are the real choices any of us have?" he asked softly. "Let's not complicate it with too many words. Bring it all down to basics," he said, holding his hands out in example. "I choose love"—he turned his right palm upward—"or I choose fear." She watched him make a weighing motion between his hands, then close his right hand gently and turn his left palm to the ground, as though releasing something. Okay, she got it. He released the hand with fear as a choice. He paused for a moment, then looked directly into her eyes. "Just like you, I, too, have chosen love, a much lighter frequency… so in answer to your question, yes, I am in service to it."
Okay, she was not about to make a total fool out of herself over this man, so she fought to keep her balance and stay on the bench. But she needed to turn this conversation away from love and toward something less personal. "So tell me, have you met other time travelers then?"
He grinned. "I am looking at one right now."
"You know what I mean. There are more than the two of us, aren't there? I mean, we can't be the only ones."
"There are others. Actually, many of them are here, all over the world, in all time periods. It's a question of balance, Casey."
"Balance? To time-travel?"
"No. In the world. Okay, picture a child's playground seesaw. Sitting on one side is fear, with all its recalled sensations, heavily keeping the opposite side, love, in the air and away from the ground. To balance that out, obviously, the opposite side needs more weight. I'm just throwing my weight on that side of the seesaw. But it's all balance, Casey. One needs the other to stay in balance. You were right when you said it can't be all light. The darkness serves a purpose."
"Serves a purpose?" She couldn't believe this was coming out of his mouth. "I don't get it. How do pain and horror in the world possibly help anything?"
"Maybe it shows you your prejudice, what you are holding yourself back from in your own life. I can't answer that. It's personal for each life experience. I don't know your pains and your horrors, though I'm sure, like everyone else in the world, you have gone through them, and somehow… when you eventually get far enough away from the memories, or recalled sensations, you can see more clearly how they served you."
She remembered several times when she'd thought her heart was broken, from her own life and choices she'd made, or hearing the tragedies of others, yet everything always seemed to work out… somehow. She was still having a problem with what this all meant. She thought a moment longer. "Prejudice, huh? That's part of the darkness on the seesaw?"
"One of them anyway," he said, sitting up straight. "Okay, for instance, you asked what planet I'm from. What if I told you I'm from the planet Venus? What would you say?" he asked seriously, though she thought she might laugh at his exaggeratedly dignified posture.
"Are you?" Her heart was beating faster. He could be an alien! What did she know? Crap, she hadn't even watched The X-Files!
"Answer me, if you would. I would like to make a point… I think it will help."
"Look, you're always making points… umm, good examples. But quite frankly, some of them are kind of scary and I'm a little afraid of what your next one might be."
"Don't put your weight there, Casey. It's way too dense to carry, especially when you're time-traveling. Does your choice to fear mean you would be afraid of me if you believed I was from… from somewhere you couldn't believe?"
"Gimme a break here. I am allowed to be rattled at the thought of extraterrestrials, I mean, little green men running about!"
His full lips spread into a grin and Casey found herself letting go of some of her fear.
"So you have a prejudice of little green men?"
That stopped her. "I don't know if I'm prejudiced against them, but—"
"But you wouldn't want to meet one."
"Right." She stared at him. "I haven't, have I?"
He seemed to enjoy her confusion. "Have you ever seen a picture of our universe?"
"I guess," she muttered. "Wait a minute, answer my ques—"
"In a moment. Patience is very important for a time traveler."
She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. Patience was not one of her strong suits. "Okay, I've seen a picture of the Milky Way. It's enormous, huge… Oh, and once I saw a poster of it with an arrow pointing to this tiny speck, indistinguishable from a billion other tiny stars, and it said, 'You are here.' Kinda blew me away not to see Earth or be able to make it out from that distance."
"What you saw was a powerful message. Do you honestly think there is absolutely no intelligent life outside of Earth, inside that Milky Way, or beyond that universe you saw in the poster?"
"Well, no," she answered truthfully. "I mean, in view of the fact that no evidence has proven otherwise, I guess it stands to reason there could be another form of intelligent life out there… somewhere… I guess." She'd never seen a ghost either, but that didn't mean they didn't exist. Plenty of reputable people had claimed to see one. She'd never time-traveled either, but nobody she knew ever claimed to be able—
"Casey, can you see the air?"
His question interrupted her mental rambling. She thought about it. "Well, I can see the wind."
"Yes, you see the effect of the air upon something. Air is invisible and yet the most vital ingredient of life, and you believe it is there because you feel it. Just as you feel there must be intelligence beyond this Earth."
"So… are you admitting you're from… from Venus?" Her heart was thudding against her rib cage as she waited for his answer.
"No, señorita, I am not."
She squinted her eyes suspiciously at him. "You're sure?"
He laughed. "Well, if I was, what kind of greeting do you think I would receive, being little and green?" he said, making a peace sign.
She had to laugh. Just watching this incredibly handsome man making a silly pantomime melted her fears. "Well, you wouldn't get a very warm one, that's for sure. Damn, we can't even stop being prejudiced within our own species. What a shame. We can't seem to get along with the neighbors we've got, let alone a new one."
"So why wouldn't 'little green men' be hesitant to introduce Earth into a universal c
ommunity"—he paused—"if one should exist?"
She looked into his eyes and saw something that at the same time thrilled her and frightened her. "What are you?"
"I am someone just like you, Casey. There is little difference between us. I just see that the darkness serves. I'm not aligned with it, yet I can recognize even its ugliness is showing us the prejudice within most hearts, even for little green men."
"So you're saying that until we can get along with each other, make peace and play nicely, we can't go outside to play?"
He burst out laughing. "Not quite, but I do like your metaphor. It's appropriate." He settled himself and paused as another comfortable silence settled between them.
The sound of people talking in the house carried into the garden. It sounded as though preparations were being made for the evening meal.
"Now, your mentor believes you've had enough for the moment and I have a few errands I must do before dinner," he said, sitting up.
"Okay, nice talk about attitude," she said with a smile, even though her mind was wondering where he wanted to run off to in the middle of the afternoon. The same place he went every night? Wherever it was, he wanted to leave her now.
He stood up and she rose with him.
"I believe we began speaking about self-worth. This long conversation was merely my way of suggesting that you strengthen your feelings of inner confidence so that others are not so easily able to break down or deflate your sense of well-being. You can be trusted now, Casey, to trust yourself." He nodded formally. "Señorita, as always… it has been a pleasure being in your presence."
She could only nod as he smiled and walked away.
Sheesh… Now, how was she supposed to integrate that conversation with the way her body was betraying her? It was too much for any woman. What was going on here? Was she falling in love with a man, a time traveler, who claimed she, too, was a time traveler, and maybe all they needed to do was enjoy themselves and throw their weight into it?
She needed a drink, and water just wouldn't do.
Luke left the Montoya household and walked toward the plaza, all the while going over the conversation with Casey in his head. He sighed deeply as a realization hit him. He was not only attracted to her physically, but her mind intrigued him as well. It had been many years since he'd had such a philosophical discussion with a woman, and a beautiful woman at that. It would be very easy to take their friendship to a deeper level, and that thought made him stop walking and stare at the ground in a moment of deep reflection. He'd better be very careful in his dealings with her, for something told him that Casey O'Reilly was going to challenge all his beliefs and all his resolve.
Still, he couldn't deny that he really enjoyed being in her presence, watching her move, hearing her laugh, seeing her eyes sparkle with mischief. She was quite a woman, and she captivated him.
Nine
Four days she had spent in his company, watching him, listening to him, falling in love with him. Only four days. What kind of person fell in love in four days? She'd heard of love at first sight, but didn't think she believed in it. And then her mind ran an image of her in the desert watching him leave that incredible spiraling light, walking up to her and folding his arms around her. Didn't a person have to get to know someone really well, before knowing he was the one?
Sipping her wine, Casey snuggled into bed and pondered this great matter in her life. She had left the courtyard, returned to her room, stripped off her clothes, and asked Juana for wine. When the woman had came back with a tray holding a decanter of ruby red wine, she'd thanked her and asked her to leave it. Changing into her nightgown, she had assured Juana she wasn't sick, but wanted to remain alone.
She had some heavy thinking to do.
First, she accepted that somehow, by some crazy method, she had time-traveled. She couldn't deny it any longer. It had happened. What she couldn't seem to accept and what she would love to deny was that she was falling in love. Could she stop it? Could she somehow turn off this valve once it was opened? And did she want to?
What was the point of falling in love with a man who could time-travel out of her life at any moment? Talk about lack of commitment! Could her heart stand it? Could her head stand it that this same man seemed to find someone or something so interesting he stayed away for half the night? What was the point?
The point was… her heart was pounding out a primal rhythm to her, telling her Luke might just be the one. Somehow, she had never felt like this in any relationship. How could she? For one thing, none of the other men was a time traveler, and none was so honest, so wise, so charming, so handsome, that she seemed to melt as soon as she saw him. It was pathetic. She was pathetic!
Luke said to trust herself.
Right. When her heart and her head were telling her to go for it, her fears were whispering that she was a fool even to try. What had he said this afternoon about fear? Not to add weight to it? That it was a very heavy frequency? Way too heavy to be carrying around when time-traveling. That was what he'd said!
Here she was, before the sun even set, in bed, exhausted, and she couldn't blame it on dancing. Her mind was whirling with confusion. What did she want? What had she always known she wanted out of life?
To be a mother…
She almost laughed out loud, but caught her bottom lip between her teeth to prevent it. She could just see herself walking up to Luke before their next dance lesson…
Excuse me, but I'm like falling hard for you, and I know it's insane, but I've always wanted to be a mother and I'm not getting any younger and I've tried this dating game and you're the first male I've met who seems like the perfect match. Would you mind donating some sperm and fathering my child?
This time she couldn't hold back a guffaw. It was madness!
It also made perfect sense.
She poured more wine and then settled back against the pillows to really think this through. Okay, he would be perfect, not just because he really did seem perfect but because he would be time-traveling, or something, and he… Why, it would be like going to a sperm bank without all the red tape and the cold clinical atmosphere!
He had more integrity than any human being she had ever met. He was intelligent, virile, in great physical health; he had dedicated his life to love, for crying out loud! There was also a hint of something around him, something that said if challenged, he would be a formidable opponent, and yet he was the gentlest man she had ever met. She really was falling in love with the man, so there had to be a bond established. He was perfect for her… and she wanted him.
Did it really matter whether he wanted her for a lifetime? What had he said today about worrying right out of the present? She had spent her entire life worrying whether she'd done the right thing, worrying over the consequences of every action as though some dark force was going to confront her in the future and slam her behind the knees, making her fall on her face. She couldn't do it anymore. She was right here, right now, there was no past, and she hadn't a clue about the future, so she might as well collect some of those presents Luke had talked about today in the garden.
Now, how exactly did one approach a man and ask him to donate genes?
She fell asleep picturing Luke in the back of that wagon, playing with Elena. He loved children and they seemed to love him. He would say yes; he had to. It might take some effort on her part, to go beyond herself, her old self, and do what Rosa said… discover who she really was now, but she could do this if it meant finally fulfilling her only true desire. To be the mother she wanted to be, she was first going to have to become the woman she was always meant to become.
To hell with worry, was her last thought.
It was exciting!
She had no idea how exciting her life was about to become. In retrospect, she was quite unprepared for the very next evening… She sat across the dinner table from a dark-haired, single man who seemed to be flirting with her, and he wasn't Luke. Earlier in the day, nursing a sick headache, she'd heard a
commotion in the hallway and was later informed that Don Miguel Cortez had arrived all the way from Spain for Rosalinda's quinceñera. Juana had hinted Don Miguel might even be a suitor for the hand of young Rosalinda.
Casey had expected Don Miguel to be young, in his twenties, yet the man with the slicked-back hair was at least as old as she, and Casey could see that Rosa wasn't too thrilled with this first prospect. The girl was polite, even coquettish at times, yet underneath her actions it was clear there was no deeper interest. Casey was secretly glad since Rosa deserved her one true love, as she liked to remind anyone who would listen. Maybe the man sensed he wasn't making headway with the teenager and had turned his attention to her now. He was looking directly at her and saying something and… Shit, now she was expected to respond. Everyone, even Luke, was looking at her with expectation.
She smiled down the length of the table and whispered, "I must apologize. I was daydreaming." Might as well be truthful, rather than get herself into more trouble.
Everyone grinned at her honesty, and Doña Isabela announced, "Señorita O'Reilly has been indisposed today." She turned to Casey and smiled. "We are happy merely by your presence tonight. Thank you for gracing our table when you are not fully recovered."
Wow… what a nice save, Casey thought, and smiled with gratitude. "Gracias, Doña Isabela. I am much better now."
"Que bueno. Con tu permiso," the woman said, nodding and turning her attention back to Don Miguel. "Then, with Señorita O'Reilly's permission, I will answer your question. She comes to us from her family. She has been away on a sabbatical for many years and is spending this time with us now until she can be reunited with them. We are honored to have her with us, especially as it appears she will be here for Rosalinda's quinceñera."
"Ah," the man said, nodding his head as if the entire thing made any kind of sense.
Casey glanced down the table to Luke. He was calmly cutting his meat, without a shred of concern.
Don Miguel cleared his throat and spoke again. His voice was heavy with a Spanish accent, and Casey could tell he wanted to be sure of his words. "I understand, Señorita O'Reilly. I find that travel within this country is most taxing. But tell me, this sabbatical that Doña Isabela speaks of… That would be spiritual in nature, yes?"
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