She laughed. "That's okay, Luke. Good to know you still have some buttons that can be pushed. You aren't perfect."
"I never claimed perfection. How boring that would be."
"And you certainly aren't boring," Casey added. "So that proves you are imperfect, just like the rest of us."
"You are baiting me, aren't you? Like last night when you walked away after making that statement about choices." He was staring into her eyes.
She merely smiled. "Hmm… choices. If I were really baiting you, señor, I would tell you that I have fallen in love with this place and I might just remain and have lots and lots of bebés with Don Miguel. As we've learned… when an opportunity presents itself—" She was unsuccessful at keeping the laughter from her voice.
He chuckled. "You are impossible, do you know that? Let me walk you back now. I am installing the staircase tonight and must leave."
"I don't want to go back," she stated with a bit of defiance. "Maybe I'll just stand here by the fountain and wait for Don Miguel. He never runs out of conversation." She now realized why clever Rosalinda had asked Don Miguel to meet them. It was to put a bit of pressure on Luke. Pretty smart young lady, Casey mentally mused.
"I can't stand here and argue with you. I must leave."
"So go… See if I care. Make a choice, one way or the other. I can—"
Her words were cut short as Luke pulled her into his arms. Staring at her mouth, he murmured, "I have work to do, woman. Go back into the house."
And then his lips slowly, gently, grazed hers, a mere whisper of touch. "Please don't torture me anymore," he murmured into her mouth. "How can I work if I cannot sleep for thinking of you day and night? Will you release me from this spell?"
"This is no spell," she whispered back, running her hands over his shoulders and then threading her fingers, ever so softly, into his hair. "This is love, and the sooner you accept it, the better off everything will be. Take it from someone who's done it."
"Ay, mujer," he muttered before capturing her mouth under his lips and kissing her so thoroughly that when he released her she was swaying.
"Go back inside," he rasped, and then walked away.
She was left there, astonished by the intensity of emotion that had passed from him into her as their tongues had dueled in a passionate mating dance that rivaled anything they had done on a dance floor. She held out her hand as she lowered herself to the ledge of the fountain, for she needed to sit down until her equilibrium returned. Suddenly her hand slipped, and before she knew what happened, she found herself falling into the water.
"Shit!" She sputtered and attempted to pull herself out. She couldn't believe it! Enough was enough. She must have needed the water to make her see it plainly. If this was a dance they were doing, then it was time for the finale. She was going to get some answers, away from this house. Standing up and wrapping her damp shawl around her with as much dignity as she could muster, Casey began to walk out of the courtyard.
She wasn't going back to the house.
She was going to have a showdown.
Seventeen
She knew she must look ridiculous, wet and furious, so she kept to the shadows as she walked through the streets of Santa Fe, building her mental rant as she passed by drunken cowboys and several women standing against buildings, smoking cigars. No one dared to approach her as she kept mumbling to herself…
How dare he just kiss her and walk away? She had listened to him for over ten days, watched him flirt with her, deny her, want her, and deny her again. Enough! It was time for Luke d'Séraphin to get off the fence and make a choice. Who knew how long they would be here, and she wasn't about to spend this time trying to make him see what was obvious to everyone else, even his friend Don Felipe! She wasn't asking for a commitment, just a decision.
What caused his fear? she wondered as she turned down the street toward the building in which he worked. He couldn't promise anything. Okay, she wasn't asking for a promise. He never knew where he would be, or how long he would remain. Fine, he was here now. Hadn't he taught her to accept the present and not worry about the future? He was in service to some mysterious, unnameable force or source of everything. Terrific, she'd throw in her weight, too, if it meant living in the moment and seeing that life was meant to be enjoyed. Sounded like a pretty adventurous path, and she was finding that being in Luke's presence was a catalyst for her being more true to herself. He just wanted to keep this attraction as a flirtation, and she wasn't going to have it. They could be friends or they could be more than friends, but this torturous in-between state was going to end.
It was like he was talking himself out of happiness.
That made her wonder why in her time people so willingly agreed that shit happened, but were suspicious when joy happened? She guessed she, too, had talked herself out of happiness plenty of times because of fear, and that was why she could recognize it so easily in Luke now.
She blinked in surprise as she looked across the street to the building Luke had been using. It was dark. He wasn't there. It made no sense and she turned around in a circle, not knowing what else to do. Where could he be? Maybe he had stopped in one of the bars again and hadn't arrived yet. Standing against the rough adobe wall of a building, she decided she wasn't about to check out the bars, so she'd just wait. He would show up.
And then they were going to have it out!
She was ready. It was no longer just about having a child. She wanted Luke, if not for forever, then for right now, and she wanted him to want her without fear. She wanted him to make a decision. She realized she could live with it, no matter the outcome. She went over in her mind everything she wanted to say to him, giving him back his own words, his own mentor advice to her. The longer she waited, the more she built her case. A faint flicker of light down the road caught her attention and she looked to see what it might be.
The chapel.
She had never been inside, and it was far enough away from the bigger church that if one did not go down the side street, it couldn't be seen. Luke must be there. She suddenly remembered he'd said he was installing the staircase tonight. Pulling her still damp shawl tighter, she ventured out from the shadows and walked toward the light.
Within minutes, she pushed on the side door and peeked inside.
"Casey!"
She didn't say anything in response to him as she entered the tiny chapel and walked around the pews. Her voice was silenced by the magnificent sight of the double helix spiral staircase reaching up to the choir loft. It had two 360-degree turns in it and seemed to stand by itself. "How does it stay up?" she breathed in awe, her rant completely forgotten for the moment.
"The inner radius is so small that it acts as a support pole." Luke seemed to accept her presence and even smiled as she admired his work. "You like it?"
"Like it?" She turned to him. "It's magnificent, Luke! I can't think of any other word to describe it." Instinctively she rushed up to him and hugged his arm. "Congratulations," she whispered. "Well done."
The muscle of his upper arm tightened in response to her hug and he chuckled. "Thank you. It does serve the purpose well. Now the sisters can ascend to their choir without worrying who might be looking up their skirts."
Laughing, Casey pulled back and turned once more to the staircase. The small chapel was dimly lit by the few lanterns he had placed around his work space. The lighting added to the ethereal atmosphere. "Oh, Luke, it really is magnificent," she whispered, coming closer and reaching out to run her fingers over the smooth wood. "What a wonderful thing you have created. Its takes you almost magically up from ground level."
Again he laughed. "Well, it will get them where they want to be."
She spun around and saw that in the front of the chapel, behind the altar, was a big portrait of the Madonna and Child. "And you shall hear women singing praises, as you wished."
He shrugged. "That was only part of the reason."
She turned her gaze to him and whispered, "Yes,
I know. I'm the other part. Now that it's finished, what are you going to do, Luke d'Séraphin? We're still here together and you explained you don't know exactly when we're getting back… How will you occupy your nights now?"
He shook his head and walked past her to the staircase. "You are too much for me, Casey," he muttered, picking up a tool and sanding out a rough spot on the wooden curve. "You won't allow this to rest, will you?"
She brought her hand up to her hip. "Hey, I'm not the one who kissed you back there in the courtyard. You grabbed me, remember?"
He glanced at her. "Why are you wet?"
Brushing her damp hair away from her face, she stood up straighter. "Never mind trying to change the subject. You're very good at that, Luke, but tonight I'm not going to allow it. I came over here to let you have it."
"It?"
"Yeah, it!" she almost yelled, and then lowered her voice when she remembered she was in a chapel. "You think you're the only one who's filled with doubts about love? Is that your fear? Because if it is, your fear is going to drive me away. We can be friends or we can be more, but we can't stay like this. It's driving both of us crazy."
"You don't understand what you're asking."
"I understand that I'm asking you to make a decision. Maybe one you've managed to sidestep for God only knows how many years. Since you're in service, time-traveling God only knows where, it might have been thousands!" She felt better now that she had gotten it out. Calmer, she continued, "But you have to make a choice now, Luke. I don't deserve less, and truthfully, neither do you. I have a right to know if I am loved."
His arms dropped to his sides, and he stared at the wood in front of him, as though not having the strength to finish. "Casey…" His voice was a mere whisper of torment.
"Luke, if it's about not making promises because you don't know where you'll be, I accept that. No promises. I don't want to take away your freedom. I know how important it is to you. If it's because you've got some contract with this unnameable source, I accept that too. I'm starting to realize why it will always come first in your life and I can respect it. Heck, I'll even come on board myself if this is part of it, because I had never known I was capable of this much love for another. Whatever your fear is, Luke, you've got to listen to your own advice. You're the one who taught me not to hold on to fear, but to accept where I was now and not fight the way life was unfolding. Well, it unfolded with me loving you, and I deserve to know what your fear is, because it's blocking both of us now. I deserve the truth."
She surprised herself by her words, yet as she heard them, she recognized they were as true and sincere as she knew how to communicate. Swallowing several times to bring moisture back into her mouth, Casey tried to be patient as she waited for him to speak.
He laid the tool back on the ground and walked up to her. Standing a few inches away, he reached out and pulled her damp shawl from her shoulders and draped it over a pew. Her heart started thumping in her chest and she knew he had made a decision.
"You are the most wonderful and the most maddening woman I have ever encountered, Señorita Casey O'Reilly," he whispered with a tender smile as his fingers brushed back her hair. He looked more deeply into her eyes. "You have sharpened my mind with your never-ending lists of questions, and—"
"There weren't that many and I had every right to ask questions when I'd been thrown back in time and—"
"Shh," he said with a smile as he held his finger to her lips. "Allow me, for once, to finish without interruptions."
"Okay," she murmured against his finger, for he left it resting ever so gently on her chin.
"You have reminded me with laughter and intelligence not to take myself so seriously. And finally, you have probed every last recess of my resistance with your words of truth and your incredible, amazing love, making it impossible for me to deny it any longer. How could I not love your warmth, your humor, your intelligence, your compassion, your faith, your agility, your complex and fascinating beauty?"
"You love me?" Tears were coming into her eyes.
"Here, mi querida, my beloved one, in this chapel that honors truth, I confess mine now. You must already know the truth of my soul… I adore you. You had my love long ago. Perhaps from the moment I looked into your incredibly honest eyes." His finger was slowly tracing the outline of her lips. "I do love you, my precious angel."
He lowered his head, and when his lips touched hers, she whimpered in relief and threw her arms around his neck as he drew her into the most beautiful kiss. Holding him close, she met his kiss with tenderness, with respect, and with a love that she thought might burst through her heart.
"You love me," she whispered through her tears as she broke the kiss and laid her head on his chest.
He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head as he cradled her in his arms. "I apologize for not telling you earlier. I was worried for you, querida. This will not be a normal relationship by any means," he whispered, tilting her head up to look at him.
"Believe me, I know that. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I've waited forever for you to show up, Luke. I'm not about to blow this because of fear."
"You are courageous, my love. Your parents named you well."
"I never thought of myself as being brave. This doesn't feel brave, Luke. This feels right."
"It does," he agreed. "Again, I am so sorry I made you wait to hear a truth we both felt in our hearts. I was worried for you, my time traveler. Already you have surpassed me in faith. Truly you are the teacher now."
"We'll teach each other and learn together."
"You must know something first," he said, looking deep into her eyes. "I have never said what I am about to say to anyone else, and I want you to know it is a love such as I never knew existed that prompts these words… I am committed to this love now, in every way, physical and beyond. I will always honor and respect it, for it is beyond you and me, it has a life of its own, our union." He took her hand. "Will you, Casey O'Reilly, share with me whatever time we have together?"
She felt like a bride, and the tears she had been trying to hold back started to fall onto her cheeks. "I will."
His eyes were filled with intense love. "As will I," he whispered into the silence of the chapel, while brushing away her tears with his fingers. "You are wise when you say you deserve the truth. Above all, such vulnerability deserves it. My fear, beloved one, was loss of freedom, and now that I have told you of my love, I feel more free than I ever have before. We are blessed, you and I, for however long we travel together. May it be eternity…"
Slowly, no longer needing words, they came together, joining lips, minds, hearts, souls, and silently sealed their union.
"Surely no wedding service performed by a priest was more accepted in the eyes of God."
They broke apart and turned toward the voice.
A nun stood at the doorway.
"Sister Bernardina!" Luke identified the woman as he continued to hold Casey to his chest.
"It is beautiful," the nun whispered in awe as she came into the chapel and looked at the staircase. "You have performed a miracle, señor."
"Gracias." Luke released Casey and held her hand as the nun came closer. "It still needs a railing, but any good carpenter can do that for you."
"And it works?" the robust woman asked in disbelief.
"Try it."
"Oh, there is no time!" Sister Bernardina exclaimed, as though remembering why she was in the chapel so late at night. "The light has been sighted by the sisters and they are sending Father Taladrid to investigate. I came to warn you. If you do not wish to be discovered, señor, you must leave immediately."
"Thank you, Sister," Luke said, grabbing his jacket and Casey's shawl, and pulling Casey toward the door.
"Wait… señor!"
They looked back to the nun.
"Who are you really?" she pleaded, awe still in her voice. "How… how did you perform this miracle in such a short time? What shall I say when asked?"
&n
bsp; "Say nothing, sister," Luke insisted, leading Casey to the door. "You cannot tell what you don't know. Vaya con Dios, Hermana."
"Tell everyone an angel built it," Casey yelled with a joyous laugh as Luke pulled her out the door.
He stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief as he led her away from the chapel.
"Well, you are, aren't you?" she asked with a giggle. "Angels are messengers, and you're delivering messages everywhere you go, to everyone you meet. You must be an angel!"
"Angel is another label, Casey," he muttered, pulling her into the shadows of the alley. He suddenly pressed her against the side of the building, concealing her with his body and looking like he was about to kiss her. "Does it matter what I am?" he asked, and Casey heard hurried footsteps. It must be the priest.
"No," she answered with a whisper, looking into his eyes and knowing it was the truth.
The footsteps passed them.
"If I told you I was an alien, or an angel, or just a simple man who happened to have time-traveled once, just like you, and found himself while doing it… would any of it make any difference to what you know in your heart?"
She shook her head. "Nothing will change my mind. I love you, whoever you are."
"And I love you, Casey O'Reilly." He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Now let's get out of here while Father Taladrid thinks we are a scandalous couple who can't control their emotions on a public street."
They both laughed and Casey felt like her feet didn't even touch the ground as they hurried through Santa Fe.
Casey… the married lady. A nun, no less, had pronounced it!
They stood at the foot of her bed, staring at each other. Luke had entered the house with her, using the passageway, and now it appeared the moment of real truth was upon them.
"Why am I so nervous?" Casey whispered, staring into his eyes. She had wanted this, dreamed of it, desired it. Why did she look like a drowned rat now of all times?
"There is no need, querida." He brushed the tips of his fingers over her brow. "What if you knew that for the rest of your life you never again had to worry what someone thought of you, because you knew you were totally loved? Every thought. Every gesture. Every laugh. Every curve of your body. What if every inch of you is so precious that no thought save love could ever be applied to it?"
Heaven On Earth Page 26
