by Hunter Blain
I was aware I was looking at the horizon again as I pulled on my fish, my prize, my trophy. I started to slide off the third horn now that gravity was no longer pulling me down, and allowed myself a brief moment of reprieve before something massive slammed into the rhino, or the rhino into something massive. The smallest horn found renewed vigor as it punched through my lower back and out the side of my stomach. That’s when I let my hands relax and drop lifeless to my sides. The old, dirt-covered statue on Father Thomes Philseep’s stage came to mind, as my arms lay outstretched to either side of me. I was concerned that the horns didn’t hurt anymore as I accepted my fate. I was so very tired.
The pressure on my stomach and back started to recede. I had enough energy to barely open my eyes as I saw the horns turning to ectoplasm and melt away. The searing of blood had stopped, leaving behind the sounds of the night.
After a few seconds, the weight of me broke free from the melting structure that was the rhino monster and I fell to the ground, face first. The grass was slightly damp against my face and the wind made the blades tickle across my cheek. A human foot stepped in front of me and I tried to twist my head to look up. Once I got to Depweg’s junk hanging freely in the air, I decided it was better to just let my head relax. Unconsciousness took hold as dizzying blackness filled my eternity.
Chapter 10
M y eyes refused to open and fought hard to remain closed. After some effort, they relented and my lids pried apart to reveal a blinding light. My hand shot up reflexively to shield my weak eyes.
My nose and ears recognized the atmosphere almost immediately.
“Hey doc,” I said weakly, letting my hand fall back to my side and my eyes close again.
“We need to stop meeting like this,” said the veterinarian that had saved my ass, twice now. His eyes looked over a pair of glasses at me, the glass, and his balding head reflecting the light.
I moved my right hand over to my left to find plastic tubes sticking out of it.
“Say doc,” I said, “How do you manage to pierce my skin?”
“Silver and iron, John,” said Depweg.
I lifted my head and squinted in the light to see a cane-wielding Depweg hobble unsteadily over to me.
“You’re getting good at that, Mr. Clooney,” I said with a smile.
“Not acting this time. He got me good,” Depweg said, holding his with his cane free hand.
“What happened?” I asked as I let my increasingly heavy head fall back to the stainless table I was placed upon.
“When you lifted his head, I charged in and ripped his throat out. Then he fell on me and crushed half my body under its tonnage until it dissolved. Pretty sure he broke something that didn’t want to break. But we did it.”
“Go team,” I said lamely. “When do we get our Cub Scout badge?”
“Cub?” Depweg asked, unsure if to be annoyed or insulted.
“Well I can’t be a Boy Scout because I’m only this many,” I said as I flashed 10 fingers on both hands and then closed my fist only to flash again in rapid succession, like 50 times.
“I like cubs,” the doc said. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not because his face was like stone, but he waited in silence as if watching to see if we caught his animal pun. We didn’t.
I thought for a moment, “How the hell did it find us?” I asked.
“Don’t know, man. But that couldn’t have been a coincidence.”
“Ah man,” rolling my head from side to side in exhausted frustration, “that fucker burned up a lot of my reserves, brother. It’s going to take a long time to get that back.”
“Well, since you’ve been out, I’ve had time to think about that. The whole reason we were attacked is because we were out hunting.”
“Yeah, and?” I motioned for him to continue with my tube free hand.
“Da let on that you have a great degree of wealth.”
“What! And you don’t? If you live long enough, it’s easy to amass some cash.”
“I have always tried to live off the land, John. Material things never interested me. But now I am forced to play the game, as it were.”
“Gone are the simple days, huh buddy?” I asked in remembrance of times long since passed.
“To finish my thought,” Depweg said, breaking me from my thought and snapping back into the now, “why don’t you build your own blood bank or something along those lines. Pay people to donate. Heck if they donate enough times you can pay for their kids’ college or something like that since you are trying to do good deeds.”
“Hmm. You might be on to something here. It would be quite advantageous to have a steady supply of blood from my own personal bank.” While looking at Depweg approvingly I said, “Hey, we might as well build a wing where people can donate their limbs too? Huh? Huh?” We both broke out in laughter as the doc cleared his throat, nervously.
“Only kidding doc,” I said, turning to him. I let my head roll back towards where Depweg stood, leaning heavily on his cane, “I will have to get Da to set that up when we get back. For now, though, how am I?”
The doc cleared his throat, catching my nervous attention. “You were gravely wounded by the hellfire tusks.”
“Horns,” I corrected.
“Excuse me?” The doc asked.
“They were horns. Trust me, got to see them close up.”
“Right, horns,” the doc agreed without wanting to argue, “They tore through you at three points and cauterized as they did.”
“The doc had to cut a lot of you out in order to let you heal. You’re going to be weak for a while, bro,” Depweg said impatiently. He was always one to rip the Band-Aid off.
I lifted my head and then perched on my right elbow to get a good look. My shirt had been cleanly cut down the middle, exposing three purple holes that puckered around the edges like little volcano mouths. I explored them with my fingers and was half-relieved when I felt pain, and that they were solid.
“When you open your blood bank, be sure to send me some to keep on hand,” said Doc.
“If we are going to be seeing a lot of each other, I assume introductions are in order. John Cook,” I said as I extended my tube-free hand.
“Doctor James Hunt. You can call me Jim,” he said as he grasped my hand firmly and shook.
“I want to make fun of you for calling yourself a doctor since you work on animals, but it would appear,” I said, lifting my tube hand, “that you have an advanced knowledge in preternatural physiology. So, no jokes this day, doc.”
A smirk started at the corners of his mouth in receipt to the acknowledgment of his private prowess. There can’t be that many people with whom he shares this information with. To regular mortals, he is just a vet. To supes, he’s just a mortal.
“But not supernatural,” Doc Jim clarified.
“What’s the difference between super and preternatural?” Depweg asked.
“Easy,” I started, “They are basically interchangeable, but there are some distinct differences if you want to get technical. Preternatural means beyond natural, but still explainable. I need blood and you need flesh to survive. We are mostly alive, for all intents and purposes. Supernatural means not natural at all. Think of ghosts, demons, celestial beings, etc. They don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, or fuck. They just exist. Most mortals, preters, and supes call anything not human or above human— supernatural. Easier that way I suppose.”
“I do believe that is the best explanation I have heard on the subject, yet,” Doc Jim said.
“Deppyweg,” I said, turning to Depweg, “we need to invite Doc Jim here to Risk night. I like him.”
“I’m good with that,” Depweg said.
“It is settled!” I proclaimed in an obnoxiously loud British voice, “We just got the Rick and Morty version in! Doc, what is your cellular telephone number? I shall add it forthwith!”
“Here,” Depweg said as he leaned on his cane while pulling out his phone. After a few punches and some swipes,
both Doc’s phone and mine vibrated. “I just shared your contacts with each other.”
“Neat!” I said. “Ain’t technology grand?”
“Time to go, John. We’ve taken enough of Doctor Jim’s time. Plus, I haven’t eaten yet and I need to heal.”
With an awkward handshake, fist bump, palm slidey motion, in which Doc did his best to entertain, I removed the tubes and began walking to the front.
Doc Jim cleared his throat, loudly. I turned to him and looked at his hand, which was extended, palm up.
“Oh, right. Money,” I said as I reached for my wallet.
Depweg leaned in to whisper in my ear, “He doesn’t have a set price, but keep in mind he is the only one in the region who can do this type of work.”
“The tools aren’t cheap,” Doc said. “Plus, it is past my bedtime,” he finished with a playful smile, pleased with his own joke.
I managed to pull out a small handful of bills, which felt completely inadequate. Doc could see this on my face and said, “I accept Bitcoin.”
“Thank Lilith!” I said as I pulled out my phone. “I had Da invest in this a long time ago. I honestly believe the supernatural community is single-handedly keeping cryptocurrency alive. Text me your code.” With a few moves of his nimble thumbs, a text popped up on my screen containing a 64-digit address that I copy and pasted into my trading platform. I decided to reward my new friend by sending him over $50,000. “Use this to expand your facility and make room for supplies just for me, like a freezer for the blood I’m going to have sent to you.”
“Very good. Thank you for your patronage,” Doc Jim said with a smile as I walked outside.
As we got to the parking lot, I pulled out my keys and looked around confused. I clicked the lock button several times while my head pivoted as if on a swivel.
“Oh! Right. Rhino monster,” I said as I dropped my keys on a sewer grate in the parking lot. “Won’t be needing those again.”
“Weren’t your storage keys on that ring?” Depweg asked.
My head shot downward to the blackness that was the sewer grate as an aggressively annoyed and elongated sigh left my face.
“Lilith, damn it,” I said slowly while running the palm of my hand down my face. “Screw it. I’ll get another set made.”
When I pulled my hand away, I could see the tendrils of sun starting to crest on the horizon.
“Ah shit. Time to go, man,” I said while pointing at the horizon. “I’ll take the scenic route. You good?” I asked as I oriented in the direction of home.
“Yeah man, I’ll snag an Uber,” he said as he pulled his phone out.
“Sweet. Catch ya later!” I said as I began bounding away. The wind ripped at my face and I manifested a snug fitting blood helmet with little slits to keep the bugs from smashing into my face at ludicrous speed. I’m sure if a mortal’s eyes could see me that I would have been quite the sight. Single ab sticking out from my trench coat since my shirt had been cut off and with a helmet befitting something from a video game, soaring over houses.
In a few minutes, I had arrived to the graveyard that was my home. I sent out my senses to feel for anything out of the ordinary before making my way to my mausoleum. After moving stones and pushing buttons, I made my way downstairs and inside my Fortress of Solitaire.
“Honey, I’m hooooo…” I started but was interrupted by Locke who all but screamed, “About time! Look what he’s done to me!”
I scanned the living room where I saw Da sitting on the couch, watching a how-to video on his iPad. In his little hand was a makeup brush. Next to him was a sexy mannequin body with Locke’s head fastened at the top. His face was covered in makeup that had been applied by the equivalent of a 5-year-old.
Stifling a laugh, I asked Da, “What are you doing?”
“He spoke to me like a bitch, now he looks like a bitch,” Da said with complete seriousness.
“You wouldn’t dare touch me if I had my body,” Locke said angrily.
“You have a body,” Da said. He stopped applying the stuff that makes cheeks look rosy (I’m a dude, I don’t know what it’s called), and looked Locke in his now pretty face, “Let’s pretend that you did have your body, warlock. You would be in the precise same predicament as you find yourself now.” As he said this, Da’s eyes began to glow white.
“Don’t mess with the Fae, dude,” I said to Locke as I plopped into the recliner close to the couch. I set my feet on the coffee table and picked up the controller to the Xbox.
“Could you at least make it look even?” Locke said, placatingly. I was pretty impressed with his ability to read the situation and control his pride. Not sure I would have been able to do the same.
“Where did you get the mannequin?” I asked Da as I flicked to Netflix.
“Amazon, same day shipping,” Da said as he turned to me, seeing my clothes for the first time. “What did you do now?” His eyes narrowed at the puckering purple protrusions on my torso.
“Big rhino mother fucker killed Mortis and almost got yours truly,” I said as I selected Stranger Things. “Depweg saved the day.”
“A…rhino…?” Da asked. “Demons are getting creative.”
“Oh, I need you to fix the ‘old duster again.”
“There’s only so much more I can do to that, that thing. I can’t even claim it has any of its original material left.”
“Yeah but I likes it. So, you know, do your Fae thing.” I removed and threw the coat on the coffee table and started watching my stories on the television. “When did Samwise get on the show?”
Da set his tools down and grabbed his iPad, closing YouTube. Then he opened the camera app and took a picture of Locke’s face before turning and grabbing my coat that I extended out to him. He floated off to his room and let the door shut behind him, muttering something under his breath.
“So, how do I look?” Locke asked.
“Like a burnt turd covered in shitty makeup,” I said without ever turning my gaze away from the TV.
“Wait, is this season two? I never finished one!”
“Then look away.” In my peripheral, I could see Locke’s red mouth drop open in shock and disbelief.
The proximity alarms chided a brief alert. I hit pause and then changed the source over to the cameras. Depweg was approaching with two large, reusable bags. I could see the sheen of the plastic wrap around the meat.
A second proximity alarm sounded and I could see Depweg stop dead in his tracks. His head was on a swivel as he searched around. I could see his head tilting up and down slightly as he used his preternatural sense of smell. He dropped the bags and I could see him aggressively talking, though I couldn’t hear anything. I leaned forward in my chair, looking for any movement from the multiple angles.
A man walked into view, wearing a modern black suit. His blood red tie reflected in the light. A leaf from the tree the camera was hidden in kept the man’s face from view, only offering brief glimpses of features as the wind made the leaves dance. He stood with confidence several paces from Depweg who was shifting nervously now. He took a step backward with his hands up in surrender, almost pleading, which was uncharacteristic for the militaristic Depweg. I can’t remember him ever running from a fight.
Another step back and the man blurred forward, subduing Depweg with frightening ease. That’s when I saw him. The glowing red eyes that matched his tie. The short-cropped hair cut with a slight widows peak evident without the hood on.
“Hey, isn’t that…” Locke began to ask.
“Ulric…” I breathed out in disbelief with eyes wide and mouth agape. “DA! EMERGENCY!” I cried out as I ran to the door, throwing it open to slam against the wall. The metal on metal sent a piercing clang throughout the hideout. I raced up the stairs and out of the mausoleum, fully aware that I had only been given enough blood to start the healing process. There was no way in hell I could possibly overpower the ancient Ulric. But I had to try, for my brother.
I made it to where the
bags spilled their contents over the grass. My eyes shifted and I sent my senses out, searching for Ulric and Depweg. I couldn’t feel anything. My eyes shot to the ground where there was just as much dirt as grass. I saw footprints and started to follow, quickly. Panic setting in. The footsteps vanished after a few yards. I frantically searched all around, trying desperately to find where they had gone, being eaten by the grass. Depweg had been my best friend for decades and I was not about to let him die because of me.
Da floated out around me, worry evident on his face.
“Locke told me. Ulric has Depweg?” Da said dismayed. “If he didn’t kill him here, it means he took him for a purpose.”
“Me,” I said sullenly, frustration causing tears to threaten to leave my face.
“More than likely, John. There’s nothing more you can do now, come along,” Da said as he turned to make his way back to our lair, stopping to pick up the bags in his little hands. He did so with relative ease.
Trailing behind him, I asked, “So, what, we do nothing?” Anger seeped into my words.
“Ulric has the upper hand now, John. He will contact you when he is ready to do so,” Da said with apprehension.
“What is it?”
Da sighed as we made our way down the steps. “Let me think a moment longer.”
We entered the lair and Da turned into the kitchen, dropping the bags of meat and vegetables on the counter. He began putting away the food into the large, commercial-sized fridge.
I shut the door hard and crossed my arms, waiting for Da.
“Two things, John,” Da started, “One, he is going to want you in exchange for Depweg. That much I am confident. Two, there are two vampires.”
“And?” I asked, stepping forward with curiosity building.
“Armageddon will begin when the last vampire walks the Earth,’ remember? If Ulric kills you, or you kill Ulric, the catalyst will be set for the end of the world.”
