With Valor and Devotion

by Charlotte Maclay

  “How come Kristin isn’t around to play nursemaid?” Addy asked.

  “Haven’t seen her in a while.”

  “Kristin used to sleep in Mike’s bed, but she don’t anymore.”

  Mike shot the kid a silencing look. He was going to have to break Randy’s habit of discussing his sleeping arrangements—which had been damn solitary for the past couple of weeks. Ever since he’d made a fool of himself by proposing to Kristin.

  The loudspeaker in the emergency room crackled, paging a doctor.

  “I thought you two were an item?” Addy commented. She screwed the top back on the bottle of Merthiolate.

  “Yeah, right, that must be why she turned me down flat when I proposed.”

  Addy’s mouth opened and closed twice before she spoke. “Kristin turned you down?”

  Swinging his legs over the side of the examining table, Mike started to get up.

  Addy shoved him back down again. “Don’t you dare leave until you tell me what’s going on.”

  “I’m not going to discuss anything with you in front of big ears here.” He motioned to Randy, who was following the conversation with far too much interest.

  “I don’t gots big ears.”

  “It’s an expression, son. I didn’t mean—”

  “How would you like to play doctor, young man?” She pulled her stethoscope from her neck and looped it around Randy’s, then took the boy’s hand. “I’ve got somebody who’d love to have you listen to her heart. She might even put a cast on your other arm.”

  Randy’s six-year-old face scrunched into a scowl. “I know, you’re gonna talk about grown-up stuff, and I’m too little to listen.”

  Before Addy left the examining room with Randy, she shook her finger in Mike’s direction. “I mean it. Don’t budge. I’ll be right back.”

  Mike knew when to surrender. Trying to avoid Addy’s questions would be like trying to get out of the path of an oncoming train while tied to the tracks. If she didn’t find out what she wanted to know tonight, she’d pry it out of him another time, probably when he had a half dozen buddies standing around listening. And laughing at him because he’d been fool enough to want Kristin to marry him. He should have known better.

  The curtain swept back and Addy appeared again, all fire and curiosity.

  “Are you telling me you proposed to Kristin and she said no?”

  He slipped his feet into his tennis shoes and winced. The road burn had even gotten his ankle. “I’m trying to officially adopt Randy. She made it pretty clear I’d have a better chance if I was married. So I asked her.”

  She gaped at him as if he’d developed a disease normally limited to space aliens. “Did you mention that you love her?”

  In spite of himself, he felt his cheeks turn red. “What makes you think I do?”

  “Sugar, I saw you the night you met her, right here in the emergency room. And then the night of the auction—” She fanned her hand across her face as though the temperature had suddenly risen. “Oooeee! There was more heat sparkin’ between you two than a five-alarm fire. You were smokin’, sugar. And so was she.”

  “That was sex. She’s smart enough to know you need more than that in a marriage, and I don’t have anything more to give her.” His endurance might be up to snuff in bed, but for the long haul a woman would be wise to pick someone else. Kristin was one smart lady, telling him no.

  “A studly guy like you doesn’t have any of what she’s lookin’ for? I don’t think so.”

  “Addy, you’ve known me for five years. I’m not good at commitments. Look at you and me. We dated, what, two or three times? And that was it.”

  “Three glorious evenings of dancing and fun. So?”

  “So, no commitments. No promises. That’s how I’ve always been. That’s all I know.” He’d been taught in a dozen foster families that was all he was worth. His own mother had dumped him, hadn’t she? Why would he expect any other woman to want him hanging around for the long term?

  Addy rolled her eyes, glanced toward the acoustic ceiling and pressed her hands together in prayer. “Lord, help me. This here fellow needs a mirror stuck in front of his face so he can see himself clear as the rest of us do.”

  “I see myself just fine.” He stood.

  She shoved him back down on the examining table. “Sit. And listen.”

  “Randy’s waiting—”

  “You’re saying you can’t handle commitment? How ’bout that boy out there? Seems to me it says a lot, you wanting to adopt him.”

  “That’s different.”

  “And your commitment to being a firefighter? Doesn’t that count?”

  “It’s a job.”

  “Your tour in the army? Didn’t that mean anything? I must have missed the part about you going AWOL.”

  “It was a means to an end. I wanted to be a fire jockey.”

  “So you can make a commitment to a job but you can’t to a woman?”

  “Right.”

  “Sugar, you’re so far off base, I don’t know where to start. The fact is you’re just plumb scared to death to admit you love someone because you’re afraid they won’t love you back.”

  He didn’t like where this conversation was leading. “I gotta go.” He slipped off the table again.

  She got in his face, up close and personal. “Do you love her?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down a couple of times. The words were right there, painfully trying to get out. But Addy was right. He was scared. More so than he’d ever been going into a burning building. How could he admit to Addy what he’d been afraid to admit to himself? He sure as hell couldn’t risk blurting it out to Kristin. “Yes.”

  “Then tell her, sugar.” She palmed his cheek with her sturdy, work-roughened hand. A gentle hand, but not the one Mike wanted to feel. “Give her a chance—give yourself a chance. A woman wants to know she’s loved for herself, not just needed to be some little boy’s mother.”

  He slid his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “She still might turn me down.”

  “She might accept, too, and half the women in Paseo will weep because she landed you instead of them. But you won’t know until you ask the right way, will you?”

  “I don’t know, Addy. I’m not sure she’ll even see me.”

  “Trust me on this. I talked to Kristin a couple of weeks ago. I’ve never heard her so happy. She sounded to me like a woman in love.”

  “She did?”

  “Yep.”

  “Then I screwed up big-time, didn’t I?”

  “You’re not the first man who’s been guilty of that.”

  “It’s too late now. Because of the adoption business, she won’t even talk to me. She probably wouldn’t sit still long enough for me to start over.”

  “Hon, it’s never too late to tell a woman you love her.” Standing on tiptoe, she kissed his cheek. “You wait here. I want to witness the big event. And then I’ll join the rest of us losers in a good crying jag.”

  He laughed. “You’ll never be a loser, Addy.”

  “Yeah? Tell me that when I’m old and gray and still checking out every male patient’s marital status.” She gave him a flirtatious wink, then left him alone.

  That’s when Mike began to sweat. He was within minutes of proposing to Kristin—again. This time he’d have to make it count. He wouldn’t get a third chance.

  KRISTIN DROVE across town as fast as the traffic would allow. Addy hadn’t been at all forthcoming in her phone call. An emergency. Come as quickly as you can. And then she’d hung up.

  Fear dogged her at every turn. What if Randy or Mike had been seriously hurt? She couldn’t bear the thought of losing either of them. Even though she already had. But not to the finality of death. Please not that.

  And don’t let it be her family, either, she belatedly implored whatever higher power might be listening.

  Visiting hours were just ending, cars jockeying for position to leave the parking lot. She whipped in behind
a departing car and took the spot. The run to the emergency entrance left her breathless.

  At the nurses’ station, Addy gave her a quick hug. “Exam room two. Good luck, girlfriend.”

  Confused and momentarily off balance, Kristin proceeded cautiously to the examination room, worried about what and who she would find. She drew back the curtain.

  Her stomach plummeted to the floor, her heart falling like a lead ball to replace it. Mike was lying back on the exam table with his eyes closed, a bandage on his forehead, blood all over his shirt, his leg streaked with red.

  “Oh, my God…”

  His eyes flew open. “Princess—” He started to sit up.

  “No, you’ve been hurt. Stay put.” Gently, she pushed him down again. “How bad is it? Do you have a concussion? Anything broken? What happened?”

  A roguish, lady-killer grin creased his cheek. “Why is it women keep trying to keep me down when I’ve got something important to do?”

  “What?” Was he delusional?

  “I fell skateboarding.”

  “Skateboarding?” she echoed. It sounded as though his head injury had caused him to regress to his childhood, no doubt a time when he’d been frequently hurt due to his reckless, devil-may-care ways.

  Sitting up, he held her palm against his chest where she could feel the frantic beat of his heart. “Turns out my head is marginally harder than the concrete I banged it against.”

  Her confusion deepened. “You’re all right? But Addy called—”

  “It’s an emergency of a different kind.”

  “Randy?” she gasped. “Is he—”

  “Addy’s keeping him out of our hair until I, ah, ask you something.”

  “She brought me down here, letting me break every traffic law on the books, so you could ask me a question?” If he wasn’t delusional, she was certainly getting there.

  Sitting on the edge of the table, he tugged her between his legs. “She tells me I made of a mess of it the first time. I thought I’d try again.”

  Kristin’s mental processes dipped into slow motion even though her heart sped up. Was he going to ask her about adopting Randy? Try to convince her one more time that he was the right choice? Or was there another question he had in mind? His dark-eyed gaze was so intense, so loving, she shivered in a wild combination of hope and fear.

  “I gave you the wrong reason why I wanted you to marry me. It isn’t about Randy, though I still want to adopt him about as much as I want anything in this world. But I want you more, and I was too darn scared to admit the truth to myself. I’m still terrified you’ll say no.” He licked his lips, and his hands tensed at her waist. “I love you, princess. Marry me, and I swear I’ll be the best husband I can be.”

  Her heart soared, but she wasn’t entirely convinced yet. She was still too afraid Mike’s commitment was to the child, not to her. “I completed my recommendation this afternoon and put it on Mr. Oden’s desk.”

  “Don’t tell me who you picked. It’ll hurt like hell if I lose Randy, but it won’t change how I feel about you. We’ll have our own kids, the two of us. We’ll be a real family. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

  “Just like that you’re willing to give up all the perks of being the studliest bachelor in Paseo?”

  “No, just like that I found the woman I want to spend my life with. You.”

  “Oh, Mike…” Giddy with happiness, she framed his face between her hands and kissed him lightly. “My report makes it very clear you’re the best candidate for an adoptive father I’ve ever met. I recommended you. So if you just want Randy, you don’t have to marry me. He’s all yours, or will be soon.”

  His eyes lit up like a youngster who’d been offered the contents of an entire candy store. “Then that means Randy and I are a package deal—if you’ll have us. Marry me, princess. Let me love you for the rest of my life.”

  Her head spun. He did love her, as she loved him. “You should know I quit my job today, right after I made my recommendation about Randy. I couldn’t work in Children’s Services without getting emotionally involved with the children, so I resigned.”

  He kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose. “There ought to be more bureaucrats like you, people who care. Their loss, I’d say.”

  “I have no idea what kind of a job I’ll be able to get—”

  “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters as long as you love me.”

  “Yes.” Her whispered sigh was the sound of joy and happiness. “I love you, Mike Gables, and I always will. I promise to love you until death us do part, and beyond.”

  She kissed him fully, and he kissed her back, long and deep and hungrily.

  “When you get through with all that mushy stuff,” Randy said from behind her, “can we go home? Suzie’s probably missing me by now.”

  Kristin broke the kiss and smiled at Mike. “Guess Suzie’s part of the deal too, huh?”

  “That okay with you?” Mike asked.

  Reaching out, she cupped the back of Randy’s head, pulling him closer. “I think it’s perfect, if Randy and Suzie think it’s okay.”

  The boy looked up at her with eyes not unlike his new father’s, dark and loving with a hint of mischief.

  “Mike has asked me to marry him and be your new mom, just like he’s going to be your father for real pretty soon. What do you think?”

  He shrugged his narrow shoulders, but his eyes sparkled with relief and elation. “Guess that means you’re going to sleep-over with us all the time.”

  “That’s my plan.” Smiling, Mike ruffled his son’s hair.

  “Then can we go home now?”

  “Home is just where I’d like to be,” Kristin assured him. Home with Mike and Randy and a ragged-looking mutt named Suzie. A perfect family. And soon she and Mike would make babies of their own.

  Epilogue

  Two weeks later

  The pink blooms covering the rose trellis in the McCoy backyard were at their summer peak.

  Kristin smiled at her groom, incredibly handsome in his sharply pressed uniform. Randy, serving as his best man, wore a dark suit and white shirt, his bright red tie already loose and askew. As her mother had always hoped, Kristin had chosen to wear her mother’s short wedding gown and veil. In her hand she carried a small bouquet of roses and baby’s breath tied with a blue ribbon in memory of her lost son, Bobby.

  Addy stood beside her, smiling proudly, as though the wedding was entirely her doing—which, in some ways it was. Without Addy’s well-meaning interference, Kristin might never have found love again.

  They’d rushed the wedding ceremony to avoid any last-minute glitches in the adoption process—and to deflect Randy’s embarrassing tendency to announce his new parents’ sleeping arrangements.

  Dour in his black robes, Judge Grimsley read the vows.

  “I do,” Mike responded in a firm, strong voice.

  Kristin’s “I do” was a little shaky, probably because there were tears in her eyes, her heart in her throat. The gold band circling her finger matched the one she’d given Mike, and they both glistened in the sunlight.

  Then the judge turned to Randy. “Young man, do you promise to love and honor your parents as long as you live?”

  “I do,” he said forcefully, having practiced his line over and over at full volume for the past week.

  “And do you promise to take care of them in their old age when they get mean and cantankerous?”

  The audience gasped in unison, and Kristin swallowed a surprised smile.

  “Do I gots to do that, too?”

  “Of course.” The judge looked down at him sternly. “Why do you think people have children when they’re so much bother?”

  The boy looked frantically at Mike for guidance. “Are you gonna get can-kerous?”

  “I don’t think so, son.” Laughing, he hefted the boy in his arms. “I don’t think Kristin is either. And you’re never, ever going to be a bother to either of us. We love you.”

  “An
d Suzie?”

  “And Suzie.”

  At the sound of her name, Suzie barked from her spot in the audience, where Tommy had her on a short leash. Buttons was there, too, nuzzling his girlfriend.

  Randy turned back to the judge. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  Amazingly, the judge’s smile made his face appear youthful and brought a twinkle to his eyes. “By the power vested in me by the State of California, I hereby pronounce you a family. You may kiss.”

  Kristin and Mike kissed Randy first, squeezing him between them. Then Mike kissed Kristin, holding the kiss so long that his buddies began to hoot and holler. Kristin’s blush was hot enough to challenge the summer sun to a duel.

  The reception proceeded with equal good humor. Kristin stood beside Mike, a glass of champagne in her hand, greeting the guests.

  “Mrs. Anderson, how nice of you to come.” She shook the councilwoman’s hand.

  “Harlan invited me. Isn’t that sweet of him?” Wearing a wide-brimmed summer hat and a cool, flowing dress, she almost looked like a bride herself. “I wanted to make the wedding cake for you, as a gift, don’t you know.”

  Kristin nearly choked on her champagne.

  “But Harlan thought a nice crystal vase would be better. More lasting.”

  “I’m sure we’ll always treasure it.” More so than a house full of sick wedding guests.

  “Oh, yes, and I’ve spoken with Abe Sorenson, our county supervisor. I think it’s dreadful that Children’s Services didn’t appreciate your talents as a social worker. Abe assures me he’s looked into the situation. I believe you can have your job back for the asking, if you’re interested.”

  Kristin glanced at Mike.

  “Whatever you want to do,” he said with a shrug.

  “I’ll have to think about it, Mrs. Anderson.” If Kristin was right about her cycle, she might be about to embark on a different full-time job, that of the mother of two. Both she and Mike had been eager to get started on the rest of their family.

  An army of firefighters in blue uniforms shook hands with Mike, joshing him about the last great bachelor biting the dust, and brushed kisses on Kristin’s cheek.

  Emma Jean Witkowsky, the dispatcher, was among the last to go through the informal reception line, her silver earrings and bracelets jingling like a gypsy tambourine.