by T. S. Ryder
"After all these years of him not knowing," Amanda reminded her. "No. I might be struggling a little bit, but I have this house, rent is reasonable, and my child is fed and clothed. If I tell Jace, it's not going to be because I'm after his money. I'm not that kind of girl, and he deserves better than that. Besides, if I tell him, it could upset the whole pack. I don't think there has ever been a situation like this before."
"A situation like what?"
"That the Alpha's first child is from someone who isn't his mate." Amanda shook her head, decided. As tempting as it was for her to seek out her ex-boyfriend and tell him everything, it would be better for all parties involved if she just kept her mouth shut. "I'm not going to tell him. It's for the best."
"The best for who?" Betty mumbled.
"Everybody. Thanks for talking with me, Betty. I really appreciate it. Now I better go study. I have that big test tomorrow night."
Betty nodded. "Anytime, hun. And if you change your mind, I know a good lawyer that is great at getting deadbeat dads to pay their due."
Amanda laughed. "I bet Jace knows a better lawyer–himself!"
Chapter Three
The next morning, just when Amanda was confirming an appointment with a new client, he walked in. She knew it was him the instant the door opened. Her senses weren't as finely tuned as they were when she was in her Wolf's form, but she had always been painfully aware of his scent. Like the air after it rained in the woods, that clean, still scent with subtle layers of cedar and earth. It was somewhat masked by the perfumes that some of the clients insisted on wearing, but it was him. Her gaze went to him instantly.
The phone clattered to the floor and Amanda stared. He had changed from the gangly, pimple-faced teen she had known before he left. His shoulders were as broad as a construction worker's, and there was clear muscle definition beneath his shirt, the buttons straining slightly as though he had purposely bought it just a little small. His completion was clear, and his skin had that smooth, glowing look of a movie star.
As if that wasn't enough, all the emotions Amanda had had when they were teens came rushing back to her. Her heart pounded, her head spun, her mouth went dry. She wanted to greet him, but was so nervous she didn't think she would even be able to stand.
"Hello, Amanda," Jace said, smiling at her.
Amanda retrieved the dropped phone and said something about calling them back before she hung up. Swallowing dryly, she tried to smile at Jace.
"Hi. I heard you were back in town."
"Yeah. I'm moving home. Can I—"
"Are you here to make an appointment?" Amanda interrupted.
She was at work, and there were clients staring at her. Heat rushed to her face. Now is not the time for this! How would she be able to finish her job if she was physically aching to be in his arms? If he wasn't here to book an appointment, he needed to leave.
"Uh… no."
Yeah. Uh. Amanda was surprised that he sounded like the same Jace she had known. For some reason, she expected to hear the eloquent speeches he must make for when he was in court. Maybe he was as nervous as she was about seeing each other again. She smoothed down her hair and tried to smile.
"I imagine as a lawyer you do a lot of sitting. Chiropractic work is—"
"I came to see you."
"Oh." Amanda swallowed. "You know where I work?"
"I would have called, but I couldn't get your number. Your mom told me where I could find you. I hope that's okay."
It wasn't okay. It was so far from okay that Amanda held her breath for a minute to stop from blurting out how much she still loved him. After six years, she should have been over him. It was clear she wasn't his mate, which meant that her own mate was out there somewhere. Pining over a high school boyfriend wasn't healthy and would only lead to a life of misery.
But she wasn't going to tell him any of that.
Instead, she made herself smile and nod. "It's fine. If you leave me your number, I can call you when I'm done working."
Jace glanced at the clients, who by this time were pretending to read their magazines rather than intrude on the conversation. "Actually, Mandy, I was hoping that we could maybe go grab a cup of coffee and catch up."
"Oh."
When he said catch up, did he mean… No, of course he didn't. He had a gorgeous, sophisticated girlfriend. What would he want with her? She was far from the glamorous partner that a billionaire-Alpha-lawyer like him wanted. He probably just wanted to talk about old times or something. Maybe clear the air so he could propose to his current girlfriend.
What should she say if he asked about her family?
"Well, I'm working right now." Amanda stared at her computer for a moment. She was being completely obvious. There was no way that Jace didn't know why she was so nervous.
Unless he thought it was something entirely different. Like she was nervous because he had a son that she had never told him about. She tensed, glancing up at him again. Did he somehow know about Logan? What would she do if he did? How could she explain it? What could she say to justify herself?
"Actually, let's go get coffee," she blurted. "I'll just pull out the temp we have working in the back to man the computer and tell my boss where I'm going."
Jace smiled. "Great."
***
Soon, she found herself sitting in a coffee shop across the road. It wasn't the best place in town, the décor being old without any sort of vintage charm. The coffee was delicious, though. Much better than Amanda had expected.
"So." Jace smiled at her. "You look fantastic. I always said that your eyes were like stars. I think working suits you. You look a lot more comfortable and confident than you did in high school."
Amanda shrugged uneasily. "I haven't really changed that much. People still stress me out, but I guess working comes with a certain amount of forced change. I couldn’t do my job if I didn't learn how to stand up to the occasional rude client. Yet, it's a great job. I love it. Not too stressful, and my interactions with other people are pretty relaxed."
"And you live in town with humans now," Jace added. "I remember how intimidating you found it being one of the few Shifters in school."
"I found everything in school intimidating." Except you. "I'm doing a lot better now, though. And I know all about what you've been up to. A bigshot lawyer. Insanely rich. Your girlfriend is one lucky woman."
"Girlfriend."
Had they mated already? Amanda's heart seized. "I'm sorry, I meant—"
"Don't be. Clarissa and I are just dating right now. She's not a Shifter and she's not sure she believes in the whole mating thing. But you're the first person to call her my girlfriend, and not assume that she is my mate, so it just surprised me. In a good way."
"Oh. I get it. Trying to date when you're a Shifter is tough. Everybody expects that you'll end up mating the first person you go out with."
"Do you? Have a mate, I mean," Jace quickly added. "I heard that you started dating someone after I went to Harvard."
He was checking up on her? Amanda couldn't stop the swell of happiness that filled her at that thought. So, he didn't just forget about her once he was away from the packlands. "I did. He was nice, but not for me. He left me."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be. It was for the best. So, Clarissa," Amanda quickly said, wanting to drive the conversation away from herself. "Did you meet her at Harvard?"
"At a coffee shop like this one, actually. I couldn't go out and buy a latte every day, but there was this cheap place near my apartment that I frequented when I needed a change of scenery. They actually had duct tape holding the tables together. We bumped into each other there and started talking. We learned that we were both going to Harvard. She's in biology and thought that I was fascinating."
"How could she not?"
Jace gave her a smile that evoked all her high school feelings. The fluttering in her stomach, the blush on her cheeks, her heart jumping erratically. She knew he didn't mean an
ything by it. He couldn’t help the way she reacted to him.
"We were study buddies for a while and started officially dating after I passed the bar exam. I don't think I could have gotten through university without her."
The fluttery feelings died along with the smile on Amanda's face. He couldn't have done it without her?
What about me? You broke up with me to follow your dreams, why was there room for her and not me? She knew it was ridiculous to feel this way. After all, how could lugging your pregnant girlfriend with you to Harvard help you do your homework? He didn't know I was pregnant.
"I'm probably going to marry her," Jace continued, stirring his coffee and not seeing how much Amanda was dying inside. "She's a great woman. Strong, smart, and she is supportive about the pack and everything. I never realized until I left town how high anti-Shifter feelings can run, but she never thought of me as a Wolf instead of a person."
"But she's not your mate."
Jace looked up. The smile seemed forced now. "I'm not sure that I have a mate, Mandy. If I did, I would have found her by now."
"I have a son," Amanda blurted, because if she didn't she was going to demand what was wrong with her, why she wasn't his mate. "Logan. You should have seen how excited he was that the Alpha was coming to his school."
Jace froze. He swallowed thickly.
Crap. He knows.
"The father isn't in the picture?"
Amanda dropped her gaze. "No. He left me."
A long, awkward silence fell. Finally, Jace cleared his throat and stood. "I really need to get home and make sure Mom's not smothering Clarissa with pies and beef jerky. You remember what she was like. But I'd love it if you could meet her. I was a jerk, the way I left you here, and I'd like to be friends. I can't tell you how many times I saw something and wished you were there, so I could share it with you."
"Then why didn't you ever call me?"
Jace shrugged helplessly. "Too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with me, I guess."
Amanda grabbed her jacket. The feelings were too raw, even after six years. If she stayed any longer, she would end up saying something she regretted. "I really need to get back to work."
"Clarissa wants me to take her to the amusement park down south," Jace continued, speaking quickly. "I'd like it if you and Logan could come with us. You said he was excited about the Alpha coming to his school, think about how excited he would be meeting me in person."
Was this because he was trying to put old demons to rest, or did he suspect Logan was his son? Not even Jace's parents had ever asked her about whether he was the father, although they often bumped into each other. But was it really right to keep them apart?
"I think he would love that," Amanda said. "How about Saturday? I have the weekend off and I'm not sure when I'll have another one."
"Yeah." Jace nodded. "That would be great."
"Okay. See you then." Amanda threw a couple bills on the table and left quickly, trying to calm the pounding of her heart. What had she just gotten herself into?
Chapter Four
Logan was so excited about going to the amusement park and meeting the new Alpha face-to-face that Amanda had a hard time putting him to bed Friday night. Betty offered to come with them, but the morning brought with it a frantic call from Betty’s work, and so it ended up being Amanda and Logan going by themselves to meet Jace and Clarissa. Amanda would have liked the backup, but she wasn't going to disappoint her son by canceling.
Jace met them near the gate of the park. He was with a tall, shapely woman. She was thicker in the waist than Amanda had been expecting, and greeted her with a hug that wasn't entirely welcome. She was quite muscular, which made her even prettier.
Amanda felt shy and awkward, wishing she hadn't agreed to this. Logan, however, proved himself the Alpha's son and immediately began telling Jace all about himself. He had big plans for the playground at school, organizing it to minimize fighting and he wanted Alpha approval.
"You have a very friendly little boy," Clarissa mentioned several hours after they had been at the park.
Jace was helping Logan with one of those 'shoot the ducks' games, and the two of them were laughing as they played.
"Yeah, I do." Amanda smiled proudly at her son, her heart warming at the way he interacted with his father. Whatever she had decided before, looking at them together made her realize that she needed to tell Jace the truth. She should have told him a long time ago…
Amanda snuck a look at Clarissa out of the corner of her eye. There were similarities between the two of them that she found a little strange. Both of them had long, glossy brown hair, hazel eyes. There was even a similarity in the shapes of their noses. Clarissa was taller than Amanda, however, and even though she was dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans, she had an air of sophistication about her.
"He's how old? Six?"
"Five."
Had Jace told Clarissa his suspicions that Logan might be his son? I don't even know if he has suspicions. Get your head straight, Mandy. You're becoming paranoid.
"So you're a werewolf, too, right? Or Wolf Shifter. Which do you prefer?" Clarissa's brows drew together and she bit her lower lip like she was worried that she had offended Amanda.
"It doesn't really matter to me. I always just call myself a Wolf. We have pretty strong integration here, and I'm not sure what's politically correct and what's not."
Clarissa nodded. "I'm not sure, either, to be honest. Politics around Shifters can be a little tricky to grasp. There's the negative association with werewolves – moon bloodlust and all that. But as long as you don't mind, I'll stick with Wolf. That's what Jace calls himself."
Amanda shrugged. The human smelled like lilacs, a pleasant scent. She could see why Jace was drawn to her. It's just my luck that she is politically aware and a nice person as well as being worldly and sophisticated.
Amanda bit back a sigh. Clarissa was perfectly suited to be the Alpha female. She'd get things done.
"Look at them." Clarissa smiled as Jace set Logan on his shoulders so the boy could get a better view at the ducks he was shooting. "Jace is so good with kids. It makes me excited to have our own someday."
Kids. Amanda felt like she had been sucker punched. Were they really that serious? Jace had mentioned that he was probably going to marry Clarissa, but the remark had been so casual that she hadn't really believed it, especially since he seemed to be quite satisfied with declaring that Clarissa wasn't his mate. Yet, if they were talking about having children, things were a lot more serious than they seemed.
And why should that bother me? Amanda shoved her hands into her pockets despite her desire to challenge Clarissa to a fight, as if she was a male claiming his mate. She'll make a great Alpha female, and it's clear that she and Jace care for one another. It's not like I have any claim on him.
"I wasn't aware that you two were talking about children yet," Amanda said cautiously, hoping her voice didn't give her away.
"Oh, well, we're not. I mean, not seriously yet." Clarissa wrapped her arms around her waist, a strange look passing over her face. It was gone in a minute. "Want to get a corndog?"
"Sure."
They headed off to the nearest food truck. Amanda tried to calm her pounding heart. Why did she feel like Jace was betraying her with this woman? It wasn't like they were together. But that feeling lingered, and she wanted to claw Clarissa's eyes out, drag Jace to bed, and claim him as her own.
Maybe it was the fact that she had decided to tell Jace that Logan was his child. It was her protective instincts rearing up, wanting to make sure that her child wouldn't have any competition. When Clarissa had Jace's son, would he be the next Alpha? Did it really matter?
The four continued through the amusement park, riding the various rides, playing games, and generally having a fun time. Amanda slowly relaxed from her talk with Clarissa, and by the time the day was winding down and Logan's enthusiasm was turning into a case of the grumpies, she had managed t
o push aside all lingering feelings of discomfort. She couldn’t help but like the human.
"I think it's time to leave," Amanda said at Logan's fifth yawn. "By the time we get home it's going to be bedtime."
"Oh." Clarissa looked disappointed. "I was hoping to get some ice-cream before we left."
"I want ice-cream too!" Logan cried.
Clarissa smiled. "I have an idea, why don't you two talk while I take Logan to go get an ice-cream cone?"
Jace's head whipped around so fast Amanda knew he hadn't planned this. Every muscle in his body tensed, and Amanda felt her own body echo it. So Jace did suspect that Logan was his son, and he told Clarissa. But how did he find out about him in the first place?
Stupid question. His parents know I have a son, even if I never told them he is their grandchild. This town is the size of a pinhead, everybody probably knows about Logan.
The real question was when he found out. He must have known she had a son for years, so did he just start to suspect that Logan was his? If not, why come back into her life now? Why wait all this time to confront her? Was he even planning to confront her, or was this all Clarissa's idea, to get the answers and find out where her future children stood with the pack?
By this time, Clarissa was headed away from them, Logan holding her hand. Amanda turned to Jace. He was paying far too much attention to a nearby clown. Should she break into his deliberate attempts to ignore her, or should they just stand here awkwardly until Clarissa and Logan returned?
Amanda wrapped her arms around her middle. "Jace."
"Sorry about Clarissa. She can be pretty stubborn."
"Jace."
The new Alpha reluctantly tore his gaze from the clown to look at her. His eyes were dark, and she knew what he was thinking. She stared back at him, hoping that he would just see the truth and she wouldn't have to say it out loud. But he was silent, waiting for her to speak. They didn't have much time until Clarissa and Logan returned. Her heart jumped to her throat and she felt sick.
