by Glynna Kaye
“I don’t think it’s because he didn’t care.” She knew he cared.
“Gradually Cubby and Landon got used to him not being there. And then—” she smiled at Tori “—you joined our household and on your first day here, up pops Sawyer. Out of the blue. Once again the twins are becoming attached to him. Now they’re even saying they want to move in with him. He’s making an effort to take them fishing. Making promises about a camping trip. But—”
Therese looked at her helplessly, as if reluctant to continue.
“Go on, please.”
“Quite honestly? I don’t trust that to last, Tori. He’ll tire of it and move on again. The boys will get hurt. And for that reason, I’m not sure how long your relationship would last with him either, not if his track record when it comes to commitment is any indication.”
A leaden weight settled into Tori’s stomach.
“I’m not trying to discourage you if you have an interest in Sawyer. He’s a fine young man in so many ways. But Ray and I’ve learned to be cautious, for the boys’ sake.” She patted Tori’s hand. “I care for you, and I want you to go into any relationship with Sawyer with your eyes wide-open.”
Numb, Tori stood and leaned over to give her friend a hug. “Thank you, Therese.”
It was special to have an older woman in her life again. One who cared about her. She missed her grandmother. But what Therese shared with her out of love was troubling.
Was her friend right about Sawyer?
* * *
Sawyer blinked. Rubbed his eyes. Looked at the numbers on the electronic spreadsheet again.
May was almost here, but the busiest part of the season wouldn’t get started until closer to Memorial Day weekend. Yet his profits had taken an unexpected upswing. Another month of this and he might be able to double up on payments owed to Kyle and Graham. Get them paid off sooner than expected.
He hadn’t seen that coming.
Pushing back in his office chair, he squinted one eye and looked Heavenward. “Guess I have You to thank for this, huh?”
Normally he’d be patting himself on the back right about now, congratulating himself on cutting costs and doing a better job of selecting and displaying merchandise. Investing in good advertising. But it was clear those efforts wouldn’t have amounted to a hill of beans if God hadn’t decided to bless them.
He hadn’t had any unexpected expenses either. The truck was holding up. The cabin roof hadn’t leaked. Nothing had worn out or prematurely fallen apart at the Outpost over the winter. A big turnaround from the previous year.
Which meant he might be in a much better position to court Tori Janner than he’d originally thought. Court. He chuckled at the old-fashioned word. But that’s how Tori made him feel. Old-fashioned in the good sense of the word. Gallant. Gentlemanly. Chivalrous.
He longed to be her knight in shining armor. Her hero.
Her husband?
He said the word aloud, savoring it on his tongue. Liking the sound of it.
“What do You think of that?” he shot Heavenward again, suddenly glad it was late at night, long after the store had been locked up and no one was around to think he was having a heart-to-heart with his ceiling.
Did other men kiss a woman once and then out of the blue contemplate getting married? That was pretty crazy stuff, he had to admit. No doubt Tori wasn’t anywhere near that kind of thinking. So a courtship was in order.
And a big dollop of God’s paving the way.
And yet...marriage. Starting a family. That was a huge leap for both of them.
He abruptly stood to pace the floor of his office, the wooden floorboards creaking under his booted feet.
While she hadn’t objected to his kisses, with Tori’s family background, would she welcome the courtship of a former gambler? She didn’t yet know about his involvement in the deaths of the twins’ parents either. If he were advising a female friend about a guy like him, he’d have serious reservations. Caution her.
And what about him? As tempting as it was to focus on the promising aspects of a relationship with an amazing woman like Tori, was he really capable of making a lifetime commitment?
Chapter Sixteen
“You must be Tori Janner. I’ve heard so many good things about you.”
Standing inside the front door of the Selbys’ home a few days later, Tori stared up at a distinguished-looking man who appeared to be in his late forties. Dressed casually in dark gray trousers, a navy golf shirt and black oxfords, he looked vaguely familiar.
“Pastor Curtis Selby.” He thrust out his hand to shake hers. “Therese and Ray’s eldest.”
Pastor? No one mentioned that before. And neither of her employers had said anything about expecting company.
“And this,” he continued, stepping aside and motioning to a dark-haired woman coming up the porch steps, “is my better half, Fay.”
She shook hands with his wife, then stepped back. “Please come in. I’ll let your parents know you’re here, Pastor.”
“Curtis or Curt will do.” He smiled widely, and at last recognizing the resemblance to his father, she immediately liked him. He lowered his voice conspiratorially. “This was a spur-of-the-moment trip, so let me announce myself. Surprise them.”
They’d be surprised, alright.
“They’re in the kitchen.”
Fay gave Tori a good-natured smile, then followed her husband past the staircase and to the rear of the house.
As she closed the front door, Tori could hear the welcoming roar of the men and squeals of laughter from the women coming from the kitchen. A spur-of-the-moment visit. She’d never, herself, been one for drop-in guests, but a son and daughter-in-law driving from California might truly be a delightful occasion. So why did she feel uneasy about it?
She didn’t have long to wait to find out.
“Curtis is here to talk some sense into us,” Therese confided, her voice low, as Tori helped her throw together a quick lunch. “Say a prayer that I don’t crown him with a frying pan.”
“He drove over here for that? Instead of a phone call?”
“Oh, there’s more. His two brothers and their wives will be here shortly.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Unfortunately, no.” She looked around the room somewhat helplessly. “I hate it when I have to ask you to do things outside of taking care of the boys. Ray and I’ll sleep on the sofa bed in the library tonight. But after lunch if you could make sure the guest room is ready and move one of the boys to free up another room for a rollaway, I’d be eternally grateful.”
“I’d be happy to.”
From the dining room, she could hear Fay and Curtis chatting with the kids and Ray. Hear the twins’ giggles.
“So, what exactly does ‘talking sense into you’ mean?”
“Relocating to California.”
“Taking the boys with you?”
“Moving with or without the twins isn’t even under consideration on our part. We have no plans to leave Hunter Ridge. They mean well, but we’ve been through these discussions repeatedly with our sons ever since we first retired. When Vanessa checked in on us regularly, they didn’t fight us too hard. But after she passed away and we took in the twins, well, it’s been a different story.”
She gave Tori’s arm a squeeze. “But don’t you worry. We’re not going anywhere and you’ll still have a job.”
While concerning, keeping her job was the least of her worries. The boys being taken from Hunter Ridge right when Sawyer was beginning to rebond with them was another story.
Invited to join the family for lunch, Tori couldn’t think of a polite way to decline. Therese insisted she wanted her son to get to know the remarkable woman who cared for their grandsons. To reassure him that there was nothing for h
im to concern himself with.
It turned out to be a pleasant lunch, with the boys on their best behavior and the conversation relaxed and not touching on any sensitive subjects—like relocation to the Golden State. They’d barely finished eating when the doorbell rang and Tori excused herself to answer it. Two more sons and their spouses greeted her, looking her over curiously as if wondering how one so young could possibly be handling their sister’s children expertly enough to relieve their parents of the bulk of childcare responsibilities.
She fixed a few more sandwiches for the newcomers. Opened another bag of chips. Then she headed off to the Outpost for the afternoon, apprehension regarding the outcome of the Selby children’s visit weighing heavily.
And wouldn’t you know it. Les and Diego weren’t around and Sawyer paused in his work more often than usual to engage her in conversation. To tease. Flirt. Did he think about the night they’d kissed as often as she did? He said he didn’t regret it and hoped she didn’t either, but had it meant anything to him at all in regards to the future? Or was it all in good fun? A pleasant distraction?
Most days having him hang around would be a special treat, one that would send her spirits soaring. But on the heels of Therese’s words of caution, she couldn’t respond in kind to his playful overtures without a melancholy tug to her heart.
Worst of all, though, was that the arrival of Therese and Ray’s sons left her in a guilty quandary. Would Sawyer consider a potential move to California a disclosable event? Therese insisted it wouldn’t happen. But could a houseful of persuasive offspring wear down their resolve?
“You’re quiet today.” Sawyer leaned against the door frame of the storeroom, where she was unpacking and recording incoming orders. “Are the boys doing okay?”
“Great. With the date set for the camping trip, that’s all they can talk about.” What had their California aunts and uncles thought of Sawyer this and Sawyer that as they all sat around the lunch table?
“Good. That should keep their minds off moving in with me.” He winked. “With us.”
She glanced away, knowing her cheeks were probably as pink as the plastic water bottle sitting on the floor beside her. Sawyer seemed to get a kick out of referring to them in a roundabout way as a couple, but they’d never even gone out on a date, unless you counted the fishing trip. Wouldn’t a man who had serious intentions about a woman initiate something more substantial than kisses?
But no, they’d skipped the dating preliminaries and gone straight to the kissing. Which seemed perfectly normal at the time, considering what they’d been through together with Cubby that day. Given Therese’s concerns, however, might it not be a good idea to take a step back?
“I noticed in church on Sunday,” Sawyer ventured, his expression suddenly more serious, “that Therese didn’t seem quite her energetic self. Is she doing okay?”
* * *
Tori froze at his abrupt change in subject, or so it seemed to Sawyer. But maybe it was his imagination? Then she shrugged and ripped open another box. “I don’t think she’s been sleeping that well lately.”
“But otherwise she and Ray are doing okay?”
With the boys making such a point about moving in with him—and Tori—he couldn’t help but wonder what had initiated that thinking. The kiss, sure. But were his earlier seemingly misguided concerns about the boys’ living situation truly unfounded? Were Ray and Therese up to caring for the active youngsters? And if they weren’t, what was he going to do about it? Persuade Tori to work for them full-time? See about getting additional help?
As if sensing his concerns, Tori leveled a look at him. “Don’t go there, Sawyer.”
“Why not? Don’t you wonder why the kids suddenly fixated on moving in with me?”
“They’re kids.”
“Yeah, but—”
“They’re living in a happy and secure home with grandparents who love them.” She paused before ripping open another box. “But you’re not alone in your concerns. Therese is concerned, as well.”
“She is?”
“Of course.” Tori gave him a “get a clue” look. “She was caught off guard when they announced their intentions to move to your place. But like I told her, kids are kids. They’re attracted to whatever seems the most fun and new at the moment.”
“Right now I’m the flavor of the month?”
“You are.” She stood and stretched her cramped legs. “Which is something you may want to give some serious thought to as you become reacquainted with your brothers.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well...” Why’d she look as if pursuing this thread of conversation might not be a good idea after all? “How involved do you consider you were with the kids before their parents died?”
He shifted his shoulder where he’d propped it against the door frame. “Pretty involved, I guess.”
“So you were around from the time they were little?”
“Quite a bit.”
“I imagine the boys got attached to you.”
“Where are you going with this, Tori?”
Again she paused as she moved to lean against the door frame opposite him, and he got a bad feeling that maybe he didn’t want to hear what she was about to say.
“If you’re still wondering what that ‘something’ is that stands between you and the Selbys...well, this is it.”
“What’s ‘it’?”
“They feel,” she said quietly, “that you abandoned the boys after your dad died. Left them without a familiar, much-loved face, a solid foundation in a world that had turned upside down.”
He shook his head in denial. “Therese and Ray were their solid base. Not me.”
“Like you told me and Therese confirmed, they weren’t around that much when the boys were very small. So the twins weren’t as close to them as they were to you at the time of their parents’ death.”
“They’re blaming me because I didn’t maintain a close relationship with my little brothers, is that it? They have a selective memory is all I can say. After they took the boys in, I got the impression they didn’t want me hanging around.”
“They’re not blaming. They have nothing but good things to say about you.”
Yeah, right. “There’s got to be a big except in there someplace.”
“Except—” she acknowledged, meeting his gaze evenly, “that they feel you let your brothers down. Twice. And now they’re concerned that with the boys again gravitating toward you, you’ll disappear.”
“No way.” Especially not after God safely returned Cubby to them and that close call hammered home just how important those little guys were to him. They were blood of his blood. Family. “I’m in it for the long haul.”
Couldn’t Tori see how important his brothers were to him? Understand how hard it had been to get involved again even at her urging, knowing that Ray and Therese had reasons to disapprove of him whether they realized it or not? And yet, now Tori was saying they didn’t disapprove of him—except for thinking he’d deserted the boys?
Oh, man.
Ray and Therese’s excessive caution, their sometimes less-than-welcoming behavior...as much as he hated to acknowledge it, it made sense now.
“I’m sorry, Sawyer, but I thought you needed to know.”
“I had no idea they thought anything like that. No idea that I hurt the twins.” His heart aching, he met Tori’s steady gaze. “I didn’t mean to.”
Her smile wobbled as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around him, rested the side of her face on his chest. “I know you didn’t.”
He’d had the best of intentions when pulling away from the boys. But because he didn’t understand the full picture, his best intentions—and his persistent guilt—backfired on him.
He slipped his arms around Tori, laying his he
ad against hers. “Thank you for telling me, Tori.”
But how was he going to rectify this one?
And what must Tori think of him now? Even if he were ready to broach the subject of a courtship, on top of this misunderstanding with the Selbys that would be a surefire way to get shown the door.
* * *
They stood together for some time, neither saying a word. Tori knew this revelation wounded Sawyer. She could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice.
Had she betrayed Therese by divulging to him their private conversation? But how could she let him continue to wonder what stood between him and a stronger relationship with his brothers’ grandparents? How terribly sad that this misunderstanding between grieving people had gone on for so long, wounded so deeply. Impacted the twins.
“I think—” Sawyer’s words came as a whisper “—that recruiting you to watch over the Cubster and Landon is the smartest decision I’ve ever made in my life. What I didn’t anticipate, though, is that you’d be watching over me, too.”
She smiled as his arms tightened around her. What she wouldn’t give to stay here, cradled close to him for the rest of her life. One day he was Sawyer Banks, a potential employer she suspected of ulterior motives regarding the role he intended her to play in the lives of the twins. And now? Now he was a man she’d so greatly come to care for in such a short time. To admire. To love?
Now he was her Sawyer.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he murmured.
She couldn’t share them. Not yet. They were too precious. Too fragile to voice. After Grandma passed away, her vulnerable heart had too quickly been drawn to Heath. But while at the time she thought she’d found genuine love with him, she realized now it was only a faint shadow of what was yet to come—with Sawyer. That is, if Sawyer felt the same way about her as she was coming to feel about him. If Therese’s misgivings proved wrong.
He tilted her head with a gentle finger to look up at him. “My little brothers think the world of you.”
