by Annie Jones
He looked at Shelby as if to ask, “Are you sure we don’t just want to take her back to Sunnyside?”
Shelby heaved a resigned sigh.
The brake creaked as he set it just before he tugged out the key. Jax moved swiftly from that point on, getting Amanda out and carrying her up the outside steps and through the halls cluttered with people in various stages of getting or giving assistance.
“So much need,” Shelby whispered. “Doesn’t it make you wish you could do something to help?”
“I do...” Jax cut his words short. He had meant to say, I do what I can, but that was no longer true. In the police force, he had served others each and every day, no matter what their circumstances were. If he took a job doing security for a wealthy community in Miami, would he still feel that same sense of service?
Before he could concoct an answer he could live with, they crossed the threshold into a waiting room outside an office. In a flash, Jax felt nine years old again. It was as if his mom had just died weeks ago, and no family member could take him in. He was just an unwanted kid with nowhere else to go.
A knot twisted low in his gut. He clenched his teeth to force himself not to go there. He tightened his grip on the handle of the baby carrier. Amanda’s situation was not the same as his. Her fate would be so much better.
Please, he prayed silently as he looked at the face of the child who had come so unexpectedly into his life. Please give Amanda a life full of love and hope.
“Jax?” Shelby put her hand on his arm.
It surprised him, and he roused from the intensity of the moment to find those blue eyes riveted on him. Even with his heart in turmoil, Shelby’s presence made him smile.
“I was saying a prayer for Amanda’s future,” he confessed quietly.
Her hand closed on his forearm. She smiled, but her eyes remained somber. “I’ve been doing that all morning.”
Always a man of action, Jax used that shared concern to act as an advocate on Amanda’s behalf. “Shelby, it sounds like we both aren’t sure this is the right thing for Amanda. Maybe we should—”
“Right this way.” A silver-haired woman wearing a comfy suit and a ready smile appeared in the doorway and motioned for them to follow her.
She looked kind, motherly even. Jax tried to focus on that as the social worker asked Shelby questions and took notes in an open file, entering data into a computer. But all he could think about was how it felt to be that little boy sitting in a big chair, hearing secondhand the hard reality that his family wasn’t ever coming back for him.
His focus shifted to Amanda, sleeping soundly in her carrier. She would have no memory of this day, but one day she would have to come to grips with the reality of it. Or she would wrestle with it for the rest of her life.
Amanda kicked. Her tiny fist opened and closed, and Jax could practically feel those tiny fingers closing around his heart. He couldn’t help all those people in the hallways. He no longer served the people as a police officer. But he could do something for this little baby.
That was what was in his head when the social worker began talking to Shelby about the overload of cases, the cutbacks they had all had to make. He couldn’t help making quick assessments as the state worker explained about the dearth of foster homes able to take in infants.
“I’ve never handled a child abandonment case myself,” Jax heard himself interjecting into the middle of the conversation, one where he had no business offering anything but support. “But I do know from the other side of things that a lot of times, the state looks for a relative or a trusted person in the community to step up and care for the baby until something more can be resolved.”
The social worker cocked her head and looked Jax over slowly, nodding. He didn’t know if she was mulling over his conclusion or sizing him up as a former foster kid.
Shelby didn’t look at him at all.
But Jax had no doubt as to her opinion of his not-so-subtle observation an hour later, when the two of them were headed out the door of the government building with a file full of paperwork in one hand and Amanda in her carrier in the other.
“Don’t be mad, Shelby. It’s not permanent.”
“You just don’t get it.” Shelby stormed ahead, her feet hitting the pavement like they were in a pounding competition with her heart.
“Was I wrong? The social worker agreed it would be ideal for Amanda to remain in Sunnyside, where she was left, just in case the mother comes looking for her.” He reached for the handle of the carrier to lift it from her.
“I didn’t say you were wrong.” Shelby deftly evaded his grasp, her gaze fixed on the minivan at the far end of the still crowded lot. “I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I thought you were wrong.”
“What then?” His long stride overtook her quick steps easily. This time, when he wrapped his hand around the carrier handle, Shelby had no choice but to stop in her tracks. He pulled the carrier gently toward him. “Tell me, Shelby. I can’t fix this unless I know what it’s about.”
“Fix it?” She wound her fingers around the handle, feeling her resistance to letting go work all the way up from the small of her back to her shoulder and down to her white knuckles. She had no idea what to think of this man. First, he had all but volunteered her to put all her plans, even if they were non-plans, and all her life, which in the big picture was also more of a non-life, on hold and to take on the care of a whole tiny other person indefinitely. But when he realized that might create a problem for her, was he actually willing to do something about it? “What do you mean? You want to fix the situation, or you want to fix me so I won’t mind the situation?”
“Fix you?” He laughed and shook his head. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you, Shelby Grace.”
Heat flashed through her cheeks at his bold yet sweet remark.
“You said I didn’t ‘get’ why doing what’s right for Amanda has you so worked up,” he went on, gentleman enough not to mention her girlish blush. “I want to fix that. I want to do what’s right, not just for Amanda, but for you, too.”
Shelby studied his face for a moment. She had no reason to believe him, not given her track record with trusting men who only told her what she wanted to hear. But she did believe him. She believed him with all her heart.
“I wish you’d have thought of that before you volunteered me to be Amanda’s foster mom.” The weight that she felt had settled onto her shoulders rolled off as she finally expressed what had been troubling her since...well, ever since she could remember. “It’s not that I don’t want to do the right thing, that I wouldn’t sacrifice whatever I had to for someone I love or someone in need. I’d just like to be the one to offer, not to just find it all laid on my doorstep with the expectation that softhearted Shelby will take up the slack. Does that make sense?”
His cheek twitched. He looked at the baby between them, then out toward the minivan. At last his gaze returned to her, and he nodded slowly. “You want your life to be your own.”
Shelby smiled. “Actually, I’d like to think my life is the Lord’s. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have dreams, Jax. They may be small ones, not like you and your big job in Miami, but they’re mine and I’d like the chance to follow them.”
“I said I’d stick around long enough to find a temporary foster home for Amanda,” he reminded her, his hand still clasping the handle, the toes of his cowboy boots just inches away from the cross-trainers she considered her best choice for travel shoes. “I never once said it would be with you.”
“In Sunnyside?” Shelby used both hands to keep Amanda and the carrier in her possession. She did not whine. She did not scold. She simply stated what everyone who had ever known her knew. “Who else would it be with? Any other place you might find would just be a stop on the way to my doorstep.”
“Is it so bad, really? As I reca
ll, an hour ago you were the girl who wanted to help all these people.” He motioned to the scads of cars around them. He paused long enough for his calling her to task to sink in, then gently took the carrier, put one hand on Shelby’s back and escorted her toward the minivan. “You can’t help them, but then, isn’t the saying that charity begins at home?”
“Home!” She stopped and put her hand to her head. The dull ache between her shoulder blades from handling the baby in her carrier crept upward to her neck and the base of her head. “I don’t even have one of those.”
“What do you mean?”
“Only that I have...had the cutest apartment over a garage in my rent bracket in all of Sunnyside.” She dragged her feet the rest of the way to the minivan as the reality sank in. “Maybe the only apartment, garage or otherwise, in my rent bracket in Sunnyside. And I broke my lease on it yesterday.”
“Then unbreak it.” He opened the side door and began to get Amanda settled in the car seat.
“Right. Unbreak it.” She looked at the minivan she had bought with such big expectations. She’d ended up saddled with it and a truck payment. Last night she had thought she had finally gotten up the courage to walk away from responsibilities that others had chosen for her. Today she had not only all those, but a whole raft of new ones, too.
Unfortunately, once something is broken—be it a heart or trust or promises—it was not easy to return it to the way it was.
* * *
The drive back was quiet. Jax drove. Amanda slept. Shelby plotted.
At least that was what he thought she was doing over in the passenger seat with her phone in her hands, her fingers flying over the screen. More than once she called up the calculator function, tapped in some numbers and then raised her head and stared off into the distance.
He wanted to offer a penny for her thoughts, but it seemed grossly undervalued given the circumstances.
“You know, Shelby, I’ve been thinking,” he ventured as they pulled into the parking lot of the Truck Stop Inn and the Crosspoint Café, and she finally closed the calculator screen. “What if we set up a fund to help take care of Amanda? I’d be happy to pitch in what I can now, and once I’m in Miami—”
He cut his thought short as he slowed the minivan to a crawl in the lot. He had to do both to avoid running over the toes of half the town of Sunnyside.
“I think that’s a great idea.” Shelby waved to a group of high school girls holding up signs advertising a car wash. “Apparently you aren’t the first to think of it!”
He guided the minivan through the crowd, and when they glided past the gas pumps, he rolled down his window to greet Miss Delta, who was shaking a jar full of money like a set of maracas.
“Sneak out of town for a few hours and lookie what happens!” she said with a smile.
Shelby laughed and leaned over to talk to her through Jax’s window. “Did you organize all this after Tyler got my text saying I was going to foster Amanda for a while?”
“Now, you know better than that, darlin’. Nobody in this town would have to wait to lend a hand if a hand needed lending!” She shook her head. “Nope. Soon as word got out about the baby, your daddy got out his biggest tip jar, set it smack down on the counter and told everyone who had ever skipped out on giving him or you a gratuity they had better pay up, because every cent was going to help that sweet little baby.”
Shelby shut her eyes for a moment.
Jax gripped the steering wheel as he replayed Shelby’s dismay at having others always assume what she would do and charging ahead to do it in her stead. He shifted in the seat and opened his mouth, not quite sure what he was going to say.
Before he made a sound, Shelby chuckled. A smile broke over her face. She shook her head. “And that, right there, is why my daddy will never save enough money to buy the Crosspoint Café, much less buy a truck or get his dream horse ranch running. Bless his big ol’ heart.”
Jax relaxed. “So you’re okay with this?”
“I’m okay,” she said, so softly that he more saw her lips form the words than heard her.
He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder in a show of support.
Outside the minivan, people cheered their return to town. Money jangled in Miss Delta’s hand. Shelby practically glowed with pride over her father’s gesture.
Jax marveled at the love and generosity surrounding them. He’d never known anything like it. And in his new line of work, private security for the ultrarich, he would not likely see it again.
He dropped his hand away from Shelby’s shoulder. Moments later, after they parked, he took the carrier holding Amanda.
“Is that her? Let us see, Shelby. Can I hold her?” people called as they pushed toward the minivan to get a peek at the baby.
Shelby turned to him. “I...uh...”
“Amanda has already had a lot of excitement today.” Jax stepped up with his hand up to keep people at bay. Shelby might not need him for support, but she still needed someone to help her stand up for herself, and for Amanda. “I know most of you don’t know me, but Sheriff Denby deputized me to help out with this case. That makes this baby my charge until further notice.”
Shelby rushed to help him get Amanda out of her carrier. Their hands practically tangled as they unbuckled the child and removed her from the blanket. Finally, she lifted the baby out and placed her carefully with Jax. For just that instant, he, Shelby and Amanda seemed like the only people on the face of the earth.
They appeared to have a special bond that nobody could breach. It felt like a promise fulfilled. Was this what it was like to have a family?
The fact that he even asked himself that question startled Jax. He looked deeply into Shelby’s blue eyes, hoping to find an answer there.
She smiled up at him tentatively before the crowd started to close in around them, cooing and laughing, oohing and aahing over the helpless human being cradled in his arms. The feeling dissipated—or maybe it expanded.
“So if y’all don’t mind,” he went on as he curled the baby close to his chest, “I’ll be holding Amanda, and you can all come around and introduce yourselves—to both of us.”
For the first time in his life, Jax went from being part of a family to part of a community. And he liked it.
Talk about sending up a red flag. Those were not emotions that he could afford. Contrary to what Miss Delta thought, Jax did not belong here. At least not for more than another day or so—however long it took to get Shelby and Amanda settled in a new place and the case on the right track.
“And if anyone has any information that might help us figure out who left this little sweetheart here last night, I’d appreciate you sharing it with me in the next twenty-four hours,” he said good and loud, to be heard over all the chatter.
“Why the next twenty-four hours?” Shelby asked, standing on tiptoe and leaning against him as she reached in to slip a pacifier into Amanda’s pudgy mouth.
“Because as soon as I gather as much info as I can and make sure you two have a safe place to stay, my work here will be done.”
Chapter Seven
Frantic fund-raising, topped off with a chili supper at the café and countless recountings of the session with the social worker, had filled the rest of the day and evening. After inhaling a meal, Shelby had whisked the baby back to the Denby household. Everybody understood that she had definitely earned and needed a chance to rest and regroup. Jax had intended to follow, making the excuse that he wanted to discuss the case further with the sheriff, but Doc Lovey had put her foot down. No visitors.
“Our girls have had enough for one day, don’t you think, Deputy?” she had asked in a drawl as big as Texas itself. It was fitting coming from a rawboned redhead who looked more suited to the role of cowgirl veterinarian than town physician.
“Our girls
?” Jax had asked as he watched Shelby load the baby into the minivan amid a circle of friends and well-wishers.
Doc Lovey had pressed her hand to his back and had given him a pat, explaining, “The whole town has fallen in love with that baby girl now, sweet thing. And we all laid claim to Shelby Grace when she wasn’t much older than little Amanda is today. They’re in our hearts now and for always, right where they belong.”
“But I reckon that’s a sentiment you understand, isn’t it?” Miss Delta had appeared at his side and had looped her arm through his like they were good ol’ pals from way back.
Jax had been gazing into the distance, trying to decide how he wanted to answer that, when something caught his eye. A Mustang with faded red paint, like the one Tyler had described as having been at the gas pumps the night Amanda was abandoned. His first instinct was to push through the crowd and try to chase it down on foot, but even as the energy to do so coiled tightly in his body, the car eased its way along and reached the exit onto the main road. He had to give up on the idea. He’d never reach the car in time, and his actions would tip off the driver that someone was watching them.
After all, this person could be the key to securing Amanda’s future. At the very least, it could be this Mitch guy, someone who had hurt Shelby in the past. Either way, they seemed comfortable coming and going in the community for now, and Jax wanted to keep it that way until he got the chance to talk to them.
“Yes, ma’am,” Jax said, finally answering Miss Delta’s question, and with much more conviction than he had felt a few minutes earlier. “I believe I do understand, a little.”
He wasn’t just saying that. That small change haunted Jax through the rest of the evening spending time with the locals.
That night he dreamt of palm trees and ocean breezes and giant babies with gold-plated pacifiers. He dreamt of chasing red cars in a minivan that couldn’t quite keep up. And Shelby. Wherever his dreams took him that night, Shelby was there, Amanda in her arms.
