“I can’t believe this! My dad would go nuts for that ’69 Camaro.”
“Give me your phone and we can send him a photo of you with it,” he said. “Is that the car you want to take?”
She didn’t even bother looking at the rest of the vehicles in the garage, just nodded. “Oh, yeah.”
He snapped her photos in front of the white car that had been lovingly restored with the bright orange racing stripe down the center of it. Then he put the ragtop down on the convertible before he fired up the V8 engine. He seldom drove the classic muscle car because his followers preferred the newer Audi or Aston Martin, but for Lila he’d drive this.
It wasn’t until they had driven past his childhood home and headed toward Rodeo Drive that he realized how much he was enjoying himself in this simple moment with her. No one was clamoring for a selfie or asking him questions. It was just the two of them with the wind blowing around them and the California sun beating down. Could he be happy like this forever or was this just another illusion he had created? One that would be a way to get over the guilt that had driven him from LA in the first place?
* * *
Lila was loving being in California, but she had to admit that what she loved most about it was being here with Zach. He was showing her his world and she relished it. When they’d driven past his childhood home, he hadn’t stopped, just sort of gestured to it with a nod of his head and slowed down slightly.
She’d wanted to ask him about it, but he’d left the residential neighborhood of mansions behind and drove them to Rodeo Drive, pointing out some of the hills that had been damaged during the wildfires the year before. There was real pain in his voice as he talked about the devastation and the fear he’d felt as the fires spread in an unpredictable pattern.
She almost forgot about how he’d been so quiet at the house until they were seated for lunch at 208 Rodeo. The menu proclaimed it was Italian American fusion and she couldn’t wait to see what that was. She had to admit there were things about California that she liked but there was no way this place would be better than Charlotte’s cooking at Sheen.
They placed their order. Zach had asked for a seat overlooking both Rodeo and Wilshire and for the first time she understood the term pretty people. Because they were all around her. Walking, shopping and being seen.
“Is this everything you hoped it would be?” he asked.
“It’s a bit fake, isn’t it?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, everyone is here for a reason.”
“Not lunch, right? I mean it does seem like people have really...well, my mom would say made an effort. And she means when you take your time with your look and everything. Kind of like what I’m doing for my social media posts, but this is real life.”
“It is,” he said. “I think Rodeo really captures that aspirational lifestyle vibe. Of course, we’ll make a few posts.”
“Can’t wait.”
“OMG, is that Lila Jones? It is,” a woman about twenty said as she came up to their table. “I love that photo you posted yesterday of that cute little coffee shop. I’m loving the vibe of your feed right now. So on point but not too in-your-face with retailers. Can I grab a selfie?”
“Sure,” Lila said, standing up and putting her arm around the woman. “What’s your name?”
“Kylie. I’m from Oklahoma and have been out here for about six months. Until I saw your feed, I didn’t realize how much I missed home or how cool it could be.”
Kylie snapped her photo and then noticed Zach. “Oh, you’re really with ZB? That’s awesome. I’m not really into the jet set but you are a total hottie.
“Take care of my girl,” Kylie said with a wave as she walked away.
Lila sat back down and looked over at Zach. Feeling a little excitement and then embarrassed that she was excited at having someone recognize her. “I can’t believe that just happened! Someone recognized me... I mean—here.”
“I know. What did you think?” he asked.
“I liked it. I’m not going to lie. I can see why you are addicted to this lifestyle.”
Zach leaned in close and her heart raced faster.
“Thinking about making this permanent?” he asked.
“What? I mean I couldn’t. I’m just a novelty, right?” she asked, because she wasn’t really sure of anything at this moment. Not this newfound celebrity. And especially not Zach. All she knew for sure was that her feelings for him were getting deeper with each day she spent with him.
“You are whatever you want this to be,” he said, taking her hand in his. A shiver spread up her arm as it always did when he touched her. “It can be as real as you make it.”
She nodded. “Like us?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Are we as real as I make us,” she said. “Or are we solid?”
“I showed you my childhood home. That’s pretty deep,” he reminded her.
“You did, but you didn’t say anything,” she said. “Was it a happy place for you? Do you miss it?”
“It was okay. I went to boarding school from the age of eight, so not too attached to that home. Prior to that, I was in a private school across town. Seems like most of my childhood until I went away to school was spent in the back of the Lincoln Town Car that Cissy drove.”
She was learning more about him in this moment than she had previously. How did this all fit into the man who lived his life in the spotlight? The LA bad boy who slept with other men’s wives and made bets with shy, small-town girls and changed lives.
“Who is Cissy?” she asked.
“She was my nanny. Actually, she was an au pair from Limoges. She was pretty funny and I liked her. My dad did, too, so she left us after a year and my mom found a dour woman to watch me.” Zach shrugged. “And to be honest, I can’t even remember her name now.”
Lila leaned forward across the table, taking Zach’s hand in hers. The one woman that he’d been close to as a child had been taken from him. It kind of made her wonder if that was the reason he had a hard time making a real connection. Was this the missing piece she’d been searching for?
“I’m sorry.” Her heart broke for his life. No wonder he needed the adulation of his followers. He’d been alone for so much of his formative years, there had to be something inside him that needed the attention. That gave her pause. Made her realize that he might never be able to step out of the spotlight.
“Ah, don’t sweat it. I’m not a poor little rich boy,” he said. “What about you? Happy childhood?”
“Yes. Really happy. Only child, and my parents spoiled me.”
“Glad one of us had that. So, what do you want to do this afternoon?” he asked. “I got an invite for a party at an exclusive nightclub later tonight. It should be fun. Want to hit it?”
A party. Did she? Normally she wasn’t—stop, she warned herself. She had to stop comparing herself to who she was and just go for it. Let her hair down and enjoy every moment of this.
“Yes. I mean I think so. I’ve never been to that kind of party.”
“You’ll love it,” he promised. “We are going to set this town on fire, Brown Eyes. By the time tomorrow comes you’ll be trending on the internet.”
She sat back in her chair, smiling. She liked the sound of that. And she especially liked that she wasn’t shy Lila Jones anymore. When she was with Zach, she felt like she was the exciting, vibrant woman in the social media feed that he’d created. And the more she lived this life, the more she was coming to love it and the man who’d brought her into it. Another part of her wondered if this could last.
* * *
After nearly four days being in California, Lila was really turning into a party animal. But this morning she had a meeting with burgeoning documentary filmmaker Abby Carmichael at a coffee shop near the Santa Monica Pier. She’d left Zach sleepin
g in his bed and driven the Mercedes C-Class convertible that Zach had told her to use while she was in California.
She spotted the documentary filmmaker immediately from her photo as she walked up to the café. She waved at Lila as she approached. Abby had long dark brown hair and a light brown complexion, and was wearing a thin flannel shirt paired with skinny jeans.
“Hi, Abby. I’m Lila. Thanks for meeting me in person.” She had on her prescription sunglasses and was still slightly hungover from a party last night. But she was determined to use her newfound fame to help the Soiree. That was why she’d taken the bet, after all. Somehow that reason had faded the more time she spent with Zach. She had been finding it harder and harder to relate to her life in Royal as she’d been swept into Zach’s world. To that end, she’d been ignoring calls from home because she didn’t want her mom to tell her that it was time to stop this nonsense and come home.
“Nice to meet you,” Abby said. “Um, I checked out the website for your event, but tell me more about it.”
“Of course. The Soiree on the Bay is the brainchild of the Edmond family of Royal. So far, we have a lot of the members of the Texas Cattleman’s Club involved. They are the elite, moneyed crowd.”
“Sounds like there should be some good stories there. What about Zach Benning? Is he coming to the event with his posse?” she asked.
“Yes, he is,” Lila said. “And we also have Kingston Blue and his entourage, who are always a lot of fun.”
“You kind of have a following now, too, right?” Abby remarked.
“Yeah, but that’s just kind of a subset of ZB’s fans,” Lila explained. She didn’t want to build herself up too much. Especially since she still wasn’t sure how long her followers would stick with her.
“ZB? I thought you two were a couple,” Abby said.
Lila took a deep breath, looking at this woman with the clear gaze and the straightforward manner. She had her shit together in a way that Lila used to. This new lifestyle and California were confusing her. Making her want things that weren’t really true to herself. On the drive to Santa Monica this morning she’d had plenty of time to think. And she’d started to realize that she wasn’t getting closer to Zach, which had been what she’d hoped for when she’d agreed to take this trip home with him.
The parties were fun, of course. She had met people that she’d never thought she would even bump into at the airport. Talking to them had just made her more confused about Zach and herself and the life they had. The celebrities she’d talked to had either been all about themselves or genuinely real people gobsmacked by their fame.
Sure, they were sleeping together and the sex was hotter than ever and they partied every night and went to A-list events, but she’d learned more about him in five minutes that first day at lunch at 208 Rodeo than she had the last four days.
“We are together,” Lila confirmed. “But it’s complicated.”
Abby laughed a little. “When isn’t it when there is a man involved?”
Lila just shook her head. “I know. Normally I date guys that aren’t...well, Zach.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You look like a woman who has her stuff together,” Abby said.
Appearances can be deceiving, Lila thought. And it resonated with her.
“Thanks. I hope you’ll come to Royal to film. I can get you access to the Edmond family and Billy Holmes—he’s sort of an unofficial member of the family. Also we have a really cool chef, Charlotte Jarrett, who is overseeing the menus for the event. You’ll have a lot of good people to talk to.”
“Okay. I think this sounds like something interesting,” Abby said. “Let me think about it, okay?”
They continued chatting over brunch and then Lila left her to drive back to Zach’s place. Her phone was blowing up from the photo she’d posted of herself and Abby at the café and she shut it off. She was starting to feel fatigued from this. While she knew that somehow Zach thrived under the spotlight, it was taking a toll on her.
Or maybe it was simply the fact that when she was out with Zach they had to be photo-ready and always on for his followers and now hers. It was hard. Complicated.
Lila remembered her thought that appearances could be deceiving. She yearned for something simpler. Like playing spit in her living room with Zach. Just the two of them in their most comfy clothes not staging the evening for followers.
She was pretty sure she’d been duping herself each morning when she looked in the mirror. Trying to convince herself that this new Lila was better than the old version of herself. But the truth was she was simply different. She was tired. Lila hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but she was tired of faking it for others. And she just realized she had been faking it as much as she’d been genuinely enjoying it. She wanted Zach to think she could fit into his life. But had she lost herself for him?
No.
She enjoyed this feeling of being free and living in the moment.
But it couldn’t last forever. Nor did she want it to. She wanted to go home to Royal...with Zach...and have her new image in her hometown. But this glitzy, hard-partying world that he was a part of? It wasn’t for her. And that was the problem. She wasn’t sure that Zach could want the quiet life that she craved.
The May California sun was bright and should be cheering her up, but as she turned onto Zach’s street in Beverly Hills, she knew it wasn’t. That this was never going to feel right or feel like home.
Maybe if she and Zach were more. If he truly cared about her and she felt like together they had something real, then she could enjoy this. But whenever she got too real, Zach backed away.
Was that it?
She decided it was. When she got back to his place she was going to talk to him, to figure out what was happening between them, because she wasn’t willing to keep going like this. She missed her quiet neighborhood and the Texas heat. She missed just eating a meal when it was still hot and not making sure she posted it for the world to see. But she also knew she would miss Zach if he didn’t come back with her.
Somehow when she’d been changing herself, something real had emerged and it wasn’t just her love for high fashion. She had started to really care for Zach Benning. The vulnerable man behind the bad-boy image that he was always rolling out for his posts.
She had to find out if that man was real and if he cared about her, too. And that was what she was determined to do today.
THIRTEEN
Zach woke alone to find a note from Lila telling him she’d gone to take a meeting with a documentary filmmaker. He scrubbed his hand over his face, felt the stubble that had grown in overnight and tried to force himself to look at his phone. He had been nonstop partying, giving Lila the lifestyle that she’d sounded so excited about that first day. But to be honest, he was tired and somehow having her by his side was making it harder to keep up the illusion that his life was perfect.
He especially felt the hollowness in it with her here with him in California. He wondered if it was because she was too real. Too Texas for this life. He had no doubt that she would have already sent a thank-you gift to the host of last night’s party. It was the talk of his set that she did it. Everyone felt that it was an anachronism but at the same time appreciated the thoughtful gifts she sent along.
And they were well-thought-out gifts. He had overheard her talking to Lil Dominator last night about his kids, and he suspected that Lila would include a gift for them when she sent his thank-you gift. She genuinely cared about people. He recalled her telling him that all those years of blending into the background had made her a good listener. And that was 100 percent true. People liked to talk to her and now that his spotlight was on her as well, she hadn’t stopped listening.
But he had. He’d never been good at it. Frankly if something didn’t involve him, he’d never seen the point in it. But this was Lila and she might be more important
to him than anyone had been since his French au pair. Which was sad but also very true.
He showered and shaved and wondered if she’d go for a quiet day at home just lounging by the pool. He wanted to talk to her. To be the one that she was listening to. It had been all about her since they arrived, and he needed some of her attention just for him.
Zach blew out a breath. He had a lot of DMs to go through but he wasn’t ready to deal with them until he had coffee and maybe something to eat.
“Morning, Mrs. Smith,” he said as he breezed into the kitchen. “What do we have to eat?”
“Breakfast burrito?” she asked.
“Perfect, and a large coffee. I’ll take it by the pool, maybe with some of that fresh fruit salad you made yesterday, too?”
“Certainly. I’ll get it right out to you,” she said.
He walked through the house, realizing how quiet it was without Lila by his side. She was always sharing what was on her mind and talking to him about the upcoming Soiree on the Bay and, well, everything. Yesterday she’d told him about an article she’d read about Los Angeles when it had been just orange groves everywhere.
He missed it...missed her.
He wasn’t about to let this continue. Somehow, he had to get her to focus on him and then this empty void would go away. She was stirring feelings that it was getting harder and harder to deny he had for her. Feelings that he didn’t want to name because frankly he wasn’t a lovable man. He knew that. Had known it from the time he was very young. He had always been too blunt, too self-focused, too Zach.
He sat down and noticed that Lila had posted a new photo. She looked good, a bit fatigued but still good. Some of the sparkle that he’d noticed in her early photos wasn’t there. But her likes were larger than ever so her followers weren’t catching on.
He’d seen another protégé of his self-destruct and completely go off-grid. Lila was made of stronger stuff and that would never happen with her, but at the same time he was concerned.
Harlequin Desire June 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 13
