“Thanks. You don’t have to lie to me, Connor.” I chuckled, in hopes my fake laugh would hold my tears at bay.
“I’m not lying, Nikki.” Connor had a look of pure innocence on his face.
“I told her the same thing before we left home.” Jeff winked at me.
I squinted my eyes and shot Jeff the most evil look I could force without bursting into tears. My eyes dropped to the floor. “Well, thank you.” I decided to drop it, for now. “Both of you.” Continuing to discuss my looks standing in front of Blake was going to make me unravel. She was perfect, and I was far from it. Plus, nearly everyone here worked with Jeff, I had to keep control.
“Come outside, Nikki, I’ll introduce you to some of the other people you haven’t met, yet.” Jeff clasped my hand in his and gave me a slight tug, pulling me along.
I looked over my shoulder at Connor. “I'll see you in a bit.”
He smiled at me. My mind raced back to the day of the party, when Jeff had proposed. The day I saw Blake for the first time but never knew who she was. Why had Connor whisked her into the kitchen that day, as if he was trying to keep her away from me?
Jeff introduced me to several people who were out in the yard laughing and having a good time. They all spoke to me as if they had known me for years. Everyone was so nice. I couldn’t help but notice the food they had on their plates, too.
We walked back toward the grill, and the fury in me began to rise when I watched Blake strut her gorgeous body out the sliding glass doors with the tongs in one hand and a pan in the other. I couldn’t help but wish that she’d fall.
I didn’t need any more food.
Ever.
“Shit.” I stumbled over something as we walked across the lawn. My big toe on my left foot was throbbing.
“Are you okay?” Jeff stopped, staring into my eyes.
“I just tripped, I’m fine. Stop fussing over me.”
“What the hell is bothering you?”
I looked around and saw no one was within earshot, but refused to say anything while here. “I’m fine; leave it alone.”
He shook his head. His arms pulled me to him. He told me he loved me and his mouth came down on mine. For the first time ever, my body didn’t react to his touch. He released me from his embrace. “You’re my wife. If something’s wrong, I want to know. I fucking need to know.”
“Tell me what’s going on with my toe. I can’t see it.” A single tear fell down my cheek. His hand wiped it away before he glanced down and gave me the answer.
“Come back to the house. It’s cut and bleeding a little.”
My world was falling apart. First I met this perfect bitch Blake, who I thought was a man, then Jack’s brother was here, married to Blake, and now I had damn near ripped my toe from my foot. What the fuck else was going to go wrong today?
We walked into the house, and Jeff asked Jason for a Band-Aid and a wet paper towel. He sought out an empty chair and instructed me to sit down while he walked off, following Jason. No sooner had my ass hit the seat, than Blake surfaced. “What happened, sweetie?”
Don't fucking call me sweetie! My blood boiled. “I tripped in the yard.”
“You need some peroxide. I’ll be right back.” Within seconds, she returned carrying the familiar brown bottle and a couple of cotton balls. She handed them to me. “Here you go; let me know if you need anything else.”
What the fuck was I supposed to do with this? I could barely see my feet, let alone reach them. I sat in the chair and held the bottle and cotton balls, shaking my head in disbelief. What a disastrous day this was turning out to be.
Jeff returned with a Band-Aid and a paper towel in his hand. He knelt down in front of me before he took the peroxide and cotton balls out of my hands. After cleaning my toe off, he pulled the Band-Aid on snugly, then slid my flip-flop back on my foot.
“Good as new, Cinderella.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to go wash my hands.”
I sat and talked to Sandy and his wife while Jeff was in the bathroom. When the two of them left me sitting alone, I went to find Jeff. I needed to go to the bathroom, and he had been gone for a lot longer than it would have taken him to pee and wash his hands. I walked back to the bathroom and could hear his voice, low, barely audible. I sneaked down the hall and peered into a room where the door had been nearly closed. I managed to see Jeff and Blake standing inches from each other. Jeff’s hand was resting on her arm. She looked sad, and the conversation appeared to be tense. She moved her hand up to his face and stroked down his bearded chin. My blood began to boil. He reached up and put his hand over hers. I wished I could hear what they were saying.
My stomach lurched. I turned and retreated, ducking into the bathroom, where I stared at myself in the mirror.
Fatty McFat stared back at me.
The tears trickled uncontrollably. I shook my head. Why would he bring me here? I sat on the closed toilet. I sobbed and wiped at my river of tears, but it did nothing to stop them.
“Nikki, baby.” I could hear Jeff’s muffled voice, but I didn’t want to see him. I wanted to leave. “Nikki, let me in.”
“I’ll be out in a minute.” I couldn’t guarantee that. I had to pee and regain my composure. I could take care of going to the bathroom, but getting myself together, I didn’t know if that could be achieved.
A few minutes later I walked out of the bathroom with a crooked smile on my face, hoping my pain wasn’t visible to onlookers. Fortunately, there was only Jeff and one other person standing outside the bathroom door. His eyes were narrowed. He stood rubbing the back of his neck, and his jaw was clenched tight. He pulled me into him and kissed me. He release me and gasped. “Baby.”
“I’m fine.”
“Come on, we’re leaving.” His voice was low and strained, while he tapped his fingers on the moulding around the door.
Jeff ran his fingers through his hair as he said his good-byes, then held my hand and pulled me behind him.
We got in the car, and as he backed out of the driveway, he glared at me. “I’m trying really hard right now not to say something I’ll regret, Nikki.”
I turned my back partially to Jeff and stared out the window. He had a lot of nerve talking to me like that. So many things were racing in my mind. We rode in silence for several minutes. My stomach ached. A cramping ache that made my stomach tight. I hadn’t eaten anything there, so I knew it wasn’t food poisoning. After a few more minutes of silence, I couldn’t take it any longer.
“Why, Jeff?” I sighed. Before he could get one word out, I continued. “Why would you take me over there?”
“Last I checked, you were my damned wife. It’s an annual department picnic, and this year, I wanted to have you on my arm. Is that too hard for you to understand?” He slammed his fist on the steering wheel. “What the fuck is wrong with you, anyway? What did I do wrong?”
“Why was she hanging all over you?”
“What?” His head snapped in my direction. His eyes were dark and ominous. “Man, you have some serious fucking problems. You’re really pissing me off today. If you weren’t my wife, I swear to God, I’d put your ass out on the side of the fucking road. I don’t have time for your jealous, insecure bullshit.”
I turned my head back toward the window as tears jetted down my face. I knew what I had seen. Yeah, I might have been insecure, but there was no fucking way he could have convinced me that there hadn’t been or wasn’t something between them. My heart was destroyed.
Jeff
Why did I just say that to her?
Fuck!
There’s no way I’d put her out on the side of the road. Jesus, she must think I’m a complete asshole right now.
She’d been testing my patience all day, though. She had no idea how much I hate hearing her talk about herself. She’s pregnant, and the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She’s carrying my baby, my son. A son I’d never be having if it weren’t for her being p
art of my life.
And now this shit with Blake? I saw it in her eyes immediately. She doesn’t even know her and she wanted to rip her throat out. When I went to get the Band-Aid and Connor said he noticed it, I knew other people had to have seen it, too.
Then Blake cornered me after I washed my hands. Fucking crazy bitch had the nerve to ask if I’d recommend she not be transferred. No dice. I’m the one who made the request to have her transferred away from me. I knew her working with me was trouble, but I had no say so in her getting that job. But now, with this promotion, I had more input and I let my manager know she’d be better suited for another position.
But Blake wasn’t my problem, Nikki was. I had to find a way to make this right, and quick. I flipped through a couple CDs, then slid one in the player and turned the volume up. I knew she listened to the words of songs, so I had to find the right one to say what I wanted her to hear. Who knew I’d actually find a woman like me, someone who listens to lyrics.
I clicked to the track I wanted her to hear. I chuckled at the memory of when Nikki asked how far back my music collection dated. Well, baby, I’m going way back, now.
Seals and Croft was perfect. Diamond girl, she was my diamond girl. For you, baby doll, you sure do shine... you’re my Diamond Girl ... You’ve made me happier than you’ll ever know.
The song played, and her eyes remained fixed out the passenger’s window. Maybe she wasn’t listening. I reached my hand over and placed it on top of hers. “Nikki, I’m sorry.” She turned and looked at me with puffy red eyes, then turned her eyes down at our hands. My chest ached, and there was a knot in my gut. “Will you forgive me for being an ass?”
She nodded her head, then turned and looked out the window again.
“Are you hungry? We didn’t eat anything.”
“Do I look like I need to eat?”
“Baby, you’re pregnant, not fat. Please stop berating yourself.”
She sat in silence. I was starving, so I wasn’t in a rush to go home. She didn’t seem to be in the mood to cook, and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to.
“What do you say we go get something to eat?”
“Fine.”
I knew that short answer fine all too well. It wasn’t okay, not yet. I saw a sign for Wendy’s and pulled into their parking lot. I got out of the car and went to her door and helped her out, then pulled her into my arms. I put my hand under her chin, and her eyes met mine. “Nikki, baby, I love you. Only you. There is no one else in this world for me. Do you understand that?”
She nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. I pulled her in tight to me. Why can’t she see how much I love her?
Chapter 18
Two weeks had passed since going to her house for the picnic, and my frustration and irritation were not waning. I had hoped I’d find a way to let it go, but the more I thought about it all, the angrier I got.
Hearing Jeff tell me it was nothing didn’t do much to calm my suspicions. My thoughts flashed back to all the times he rushed me off the phone to go to dinner or attend a meeting with Blake. Me, foolishly, and unknowingly, telling him to not make her wait, but I thought Blake was a him at the time. Blake, Blake, Blake … over and over in my mind.
Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he keep it a secret that Blake was a she? And now that I know, what do I do? What do I know?
So much really bothered me, especially seeing them in that room with the door barely open. Her with her paws on him, like he was her man to touch. And why didn’t he tell her to take her hands off him?
I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to go talk to my mom now that she was back from her vacation. She would help ground me, and I desperately needed that right now. My mind was running wild.
After I called Mom and made sure she had time, I gathered Abby and went to pay her a visit that was two week overdue.
“Nikki, it’s good to see you. Come on in, your mom’s in the kitchen.”
“Thanks Jim.”
“How’s married life treating you?”
“Things are good. I’ll be happy when I have this baby, though.”
He chuckled. “I’m sure you will.”
We walked into the kitchen where Mom was washing all of two plates and two forks. “Hi Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie, how are you? Have you been feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Jim seemed eager to get out of the kitchen. “I’ll let you two talk, I’m heading back in to finish watching my show.”
After he left the kitchen, my mom began her interrogation. “So what brings you over today?”
“Something’s been on my mind for the past couple weeks and it’s starting to drive me crazy.”
“Tell me what’s going on.” Mom stopped washing dishes and leaned down to Abby. ‘Hey, baby girl, can Nana get you anything to drink?”
Abby nodded her head and replied, “Juice.”
“Ask the right way, Abby.” I had to correct her. I didn’t want her thinking she could start barking commands at people or go back to talking like a baby.
“Can I have juice, Nana? Please?”
“Why, of course you can, angel.”
Mom got Abby her juice and she went in to watch TV with Jim.
“So what’s got you so riled up?”
“Okay, so, on Memorial Day we went to a picnic with Jeff’s co-workers, and I met another person he works with. Someone he’s traveled with quite a bit, but I never met before. I thought all along the person was a man because of the name, but it turns out it was a female. Well, she still is a female.”
“Darling, you had to have known deep down that Jeff works with both men and women. Of course he would have female co-workers.”
“Yeah, I know. I get that.” I huffed. “But when I saw her, she latched onto his neck like his long lost girlfriend.”
“He’s married to you. Did he seem to make you feel like he was happy about or welcoming of her clinging?”
“No, he didn’t act like that. And he did wrap his arm around me when he introduced me to Blake.”
“What was her name?”
“Blake.”
“Blake?” I noticed that familiar look on my mom’s face. That look that said she knew something. The hairs raised on the back of my neck as an eerie feeling washed over me.
“Yeah, Blake. And something about her just rubbed me the wrong way.”
“Did you talk to Jeff about it?”
“Yeah, after we argued on the way home and he threatened to put me out on the side of the road. He basically told me I was nuts, that there was nothing for me to worry about.” I looked at mom’s face and swallowed hard. “You know something, don’t you? I can see it on your face.”
“Honey, I don’t want to upset you any more than you already are.”
“Mom, just tell me. What is it?” I could feel my throat beginning to burn.
“Blake was the name of the woman he cheated on Gretchen with.”
“Oh my fucking God!” I screamed. “You’re kidding me, right?” My breaths were burning my lungs as I gasped.
“I wish I were. But it could be a different Blake; there are plenty of women named Blake. Don’t get too upset. You should really talk to him some more since this is bothering you so much.”
I was close to blacking out from anger, and hate. I lowered my head into my hands and rubbed my temples. Tears burned my eyes. I held my eyes closed until I felt my mom’s hand touch my shoulder.
“Nikki, you can’t let yourself get upset like this. You have to think about the baby.”
“I -- I think --” My stomach was churning, and I quickly darted down the hall to the bathroom to empty the contents. When I stood up, the rage and hurt were still there, along with some dizziness. I slowly walked back down to the kitchen.
“Are you okay? Maybe you should sit down.”
I sat down. But I felt a tightness in my chest that extended down to my stomach. I was being kicked relentlessly by his baby, and my belly had ti
ghtened as if the muscles were being tugged tight. After a few seconds, the feeling left my body. The rage remained.
“Nikki.”
“What?”
“What's wrong?”
“I don't know? I think I'm okay.” Not even ten minutes after I was asked, that same tightness repeated its grip on my stomach.
The tightness in my stomach was coupled by a dull ache that wrapped around to my lower back. I sucked in a deep breath and grimaced. As quickly as the pain came, it was gone. I released my breath slowly as Mom watched me.
“I think maybe it was just a gas pain.”
“Let”s hope that’s all it was.”
About ten minutes later, the whole grueling process began again. When I held my stomach in my hands, Mom screamed for Jim to come in the kitchen as she scrambled to get the phone and called for an ambulance.
The pain subsided, and I tried to reassure Jim and her that I was fine and to get them to cancel the ambulance. She agreed to it if twenty minutes passed and I didn’t experience any further discomfort. Jim held Abby in his arms as she began to cry.
Like clockwork, the tightness and pain gripped me again not even ten minutes later. Abby wailed as if she were going through the pain. Just as the muscles relaxed, there was a knock on the front door. Jim went and answered it. The paramedics entered and began their inquiry. Within ten minutes they were able to witness another occurrence of what I tried to explain.
“It looks like you may be in labor, or hopefully only false labor. Either way, we should get you in to be observed and checked out. How far along are you?”
“Seven and a half months.”
“It’s a bit early for your baby to make his or her grand entrance. We need to get you to the hospital.”
“I can’t leave Abby.”
“She’ll be with us, and we’ll be at the hospital shortly after you get there. You need to worry about the one you’re carrying,” Jim said. He was using his strength to keep Abby from leaning out of his arms to reach me. Mom grabbed her purse and keys.
Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2) Page 14
