by Leigh Bale
Megan Marshall, the owner of the restaurant, stood beside the cash register. A glint of recognition flashed in her eyes.
“Why don’t you sit over there?” She spoke low and smiled as she slid the till drawer closed. She pointed toward a booth tucked back in a corner, where Reese could remain more anonymous.
The woman seemed to know that he didn’t want to engage in conversation with other people. Mrs. Watkins had told him that Megan was married to Jared Marshall, the fire management officer. They’d been married only a short time. Apparently Megan had lost her first husband fighting a wildfire a couple years earlier. Since she was afraid of losing another husband to a fire, it had taken her a long time to agree to marry the FMO. No doubt she understood how Reese was feeling right now, and her kindness touched his heart.
Smiling his thanks, he headed that way with Chrissy and Katie in tow. Megan handed him a newspaper as he passed.
“If you see someone you don’t want to talk to, just hold the paper up to hide your face.” She spoke quietly, but it was obvious from Katie’s expression that she overheard.
He nodded and slid into the booth, grateful for Megan’s protection. Chrissy sat beside him, with Katie on the other side of the table, no more than an arm’s reach away. He thought about raking leaves with them a short time earlier and how he’d almost kissed Katie. For a few moments, he’d forgotten who she was and who he was, and all that stood between them.
Megan brought menus, and crayons for Chrissy. They ordered soft drinks and the waitress disappeared.
“What was that all about?” Katie asked.
He glanced at her. “What do you mean?”
“When did you work on Harry Carter’s truck?”
“Yesterday,” he said.
“I understand, but how did it come about?”
He shrugged. “They were broken down on the side of the road. I couldn’t just leave them stranded there, so I stopped to help. Once we got his truck back home, I worked on it, to make it run better.”
Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him from across the table.
“It was no big deal, Katie,” he said.
She blinked. “No big deal? I’m stunned that you would do all of that.”
He shrugged. “I thought it was time to make amends. When I offered to help, they didn’t recognize me at first.”
He didn’t tell her about the cool reception he’d received from the Carters once they knew who he was. Thankfully, they warmed up to him after he’d apologized. It had felt good to make restitution by fixing their truck.
Megan set glasses of iced drinks in front of them.
“Something cold to sip on while you wait for your food,” she said, sliding her hands into the front pocket of her apron. “And just so you’re aware, there are several hotshots on the other side of the restaurant. My husband, Jared, is having pie with Sean and Tessa Nash, and Harlie Harland. They’re all members of the crew.”
Reese went very still. Under normal circumstances, he would have sought them out to talk. After all, Sean had come to the motel to offer him a job. But right now, he still didn’t want to speak to anyone involved with the media or the firefighting profession.
“I can tell them to leave you alone, if you like,” Megan offered.
No, he didn’t want to be rude. “That’s okay. Thanks anyway.”
“Sure. Whatever you need, don’t be afraid to ask. Firefighters stick together.” She whirled away, moving behind the counter to reach for the coffeepot.
His gaze followed her as she made the rounds, filling cups at each table. He appreciated her kindness, but maybe it had been a mistake to come here.
The bell over the door tinkled. His hands trembling, Reese lifted the newspaper, feeling like a coward. He’d never been like this before. Usually, he was outgoing.
He scanned the columns of the paper, including a fun article Katie had written about the renovation of an old stagecoach station just outside town. Hmm. She was a good writer, but he wasn’t surprised. From what he knew about her, she was good at everything.
“Great article in the newspaper today.” He showed her the paper and smiled.
“Did Mommy write that?” Chrissy pointed at the picture.
“She sure did, and she did a good job,” Reese said.
“Wow, Mom. Everyone will read what you wrote. That’s so cool.” The girl’s voice was filled with awe and respect.
“Thank you.” Katie smiled, looking pleased by their compliments.
“You still have your binoculars, I see.” Reese touched the lanyard hanging around Chrissy’s neck.
“Yes, Papa Charlie let me borrow them,” she said.
“How would you like to go fishing with me tomorrow?” Reese asked.
“Fishing?” Chrissy crinkled her button nose.
Reese hesitated. “Yeah. Don’t you like to fish?”
“Sure. I go with Papa and Mommy when we can get away from the motel, but I don’t like to touch the worms.” She scrunched her mouth in disgust and a shudder swept her slender shoulders.
Reese laughed. “How about if I hook the bait for you?”
“Fine. Can we go, Mom? Please?” The girl bounced gently on her seat.
“I’m not sure...” Uncertainty filled Katie’s voice.
He met Katie’s eyes and tried to smile. “The invitation includes you, too. I’ll pick you up around seven o’clock, if that’s all right.”
She hiked her brows. “Wouldn’t you rather we just drove up to the cabin?”
“No, I’ve got something I need to do in town early in the morning. I’ve put it off long enough. I can pick you up.”
“What could you have to do in town so early on a Saturday morning?”
He hesitated. “It’s personal.”
Actually, he didn’t want to tell her that he planned to visit his mother at the local cemetery.
“Okay, we’ll be ready.”
He was grateful that she didn’t push for more information. A happy feeling of relief blanketed him. He couldn’t deny that he was excited to be with them both.
“I’ll get the fishing license on my way home today,” he said.
“Get one for a bi-i-ig fish.” Chrissy opened her arms wide to make her point.
He chuckled. “It’s all the same, sweetheart. One license covers both the big and small fish.”
“But you’ll have to clean them, too.” The girl grimaced.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it for you.” In a spontaneous gesture, he reached out and tickled Chrissy’s ribs. The child squealed, but he could tell she liked the attention.
He inclined his head and smiled. He didn’t mind cleaning the fish for his little girl. In fact, he was glad to do it. For some crazy reason, he felt protective toward both Katie and their daughter. And he realized that, except for his mother, he’d never felt this way before. Since he’d returned home, he was having a lot of firsts. Things inside of him were changing, shifting, rearranging. Almost as if he were mentally making room in his life for others. An odd notion, but he couldn’t explain it to himself.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sean Nash and the other hotshots walk over to the cash register. They looked his way, saw him, and one of the men took a step toward him.
No! Reese didn’t want to speak to them. Not now. He knew that they’d offer condolences and possibly ask him questions about the fire. Questions he didn’t want to answer. And suddenly, the happiness he’d felt moments earlier evaporated like a puff of smoke. The room closed in on him. A blaze of panic prickled his skin. He had to get out of here. Right now.
“Reese, are you all right?” Katie asked from the other side of the table.
She was looking at him, the corners of her eyes creased with confusion. His expression must have given him away. He was vaguely aware of her t
aking Chrissy’s hand and drawing the child to her feet. “Come here, honey.”
“Hi, Reese.” Sean Nash smiled. “Can I introduce you to my wife, Tessa?”
The woman smiled, flipping her long golden-brown hair back over her shoulder. She was dressed identical to her husband in spruce-green pants and a blue T-shirt with the Minoa Hotshot logo on it. Jared wore his drab olive-green Forest Service shirt, a bronze shield pinned to his front pocket.
“Hi, Reese. It’s nice to meet you,” Tessa said.
“And this is Jared Marshall, our FMO.” Sean continued with the introductions. “And Harlie Harland, one of our squad leaders.”
“Hi, man.” Harlie stuck out his hand and smiled widely. “I understand you’re thinking about working for our crew. We’d be glad to have you. We need experienced firefighters like you.”
Reese stood slowly and shook the man’s hand. He locked his knees to keep them from trembling.
“Hello.” He got the word out, unable to say anything more.
“I was sorry to hear about your crew. If there’s anything we can do, or if you just need to talk, we’ve got your back.” Harlie winked at him.
“Thanks,” Reese murmured. The man’s words seemed genuine, but Reese had no desire to talk with anyone about his problems.
“With your experience, you’d fit in perfectly with the crew. I hope you’ll consider the offer,” Jared Marshall said.
He hadn’t discussed it with Katie yet, but he wanted to help with Chrissy’s financial support. He certainly didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad. He had to think about the future. His daughter would undoubtedly need things like braces and a college fund. He couldn’t help with that if he didn’t have a job.
Katie touched his arm, speaking in a low tone. “Reese, do we need to leave?”
“No, I’m fine.” But he wasn’t. His mind buzzed with the memory of the fire and the screams of men. It came upon him so fast that he didn’t understand it. His doctor had said he might experience some symptoms of PTSD, but he’d laughed it off. Now he realized it was still a problem.
Katie faced the firefighters, speaking in a pleasant tone. “I’m sorry to break this up, folks, but we were just leaving.”
Reese jerked his head toward her, confused for a moment. When she reached out and rested a hand on his arm, he flinched. Her touch was warm and gentle, soothing the fog of panic in his brain.
“We won’t keep you, but do think about that job. You know where to find me,” Sean said, his voice congenial and sincere.
The firefighters moved away and Reese drew a deep inhalation. He was finally able to breathe again. To think clearly.
“I had your dinner prepared to go. I can see you need to get out of here.” Megan handed him a plastic bag with to-go containers inside. Barely understanding what he was doing, he held the handle tightly wrapped around his fingers.
Reese fumbled for his wallet, dropped it on the floor and waited while Chrissy retrieved it for him.
“Here you go,” the girl said.
“Thanks.” He gave her a feeble smile.
Megan pushed them toward the door. “You can settle up with me the next time you come in.”
Again, he was grateful. Both Megan and Katie seemed to know that he was desperate to get out of here.
“Thanks, I will,” he murmured.
“Come on,” Katie said. And taking his arm, she steered him out of the restaurant and over to her car.
Chrissy trotted after them, her innocent face torn with worry. “What’s wrong, Mommy? Why are we going so fast? I thought we were gonna eat in the restaurant.”
“Something has come up. We’re in a hurry now, sweetums. Everything will be fine,” Katie said.
Hearing her soft voice and words of reassurance to their daughter eased Reese’s tension, as well. He opened the door to her car and waited for them to slide inside, then joined them.
Katie sat in the driver’s seat. Now that they were alone, Reese breathed deeply, feeling instant relief.
“Can you take me back to my truck?” he asked.
“Yes, but I want to make sure you’re all right before we leave you,” she said.
He snorted. “I’m fine. You don’t need to babysit me.”
Chrissy sat in her booster seat in back, her eyes wide with confusion. “Mommy, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, dear. Everything’s fine,” Katie spoke in a calm voice.
Reese jerked when the child popped her seat belt and leaned forward to press her cheek against his shoulder. She wrapped one thin arm across his chest. “I’m sorry you don’t feel well, Daddy. Is there anything I can do for you?”
His heart pinched hard. An overwhelming warmth suffused his entire being. He wondered how this little girl had crawled into his heart so quickly. He could hardly believe someone this wonderful belonged to him.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. I’ve got you. What more could I want?” he said.
She hugged him tighter in response. “And we’ve got Mommy, too.”
“Yes, we’ve got Mommy, too,” he conceded. He looked over at Katie. “You sure have done a good job with her. She’s sweet and polite and well mannered.”
Katie flushed red as a fire engine, looking embarrassed yet pleased by his praise. “Thank you, but she seems to come by it naturally. She’s been an easy child to raise thus far.” Then she chuckled. “I hope she’s this wonderful when she’s a teenager.”
He laughed in turn. “I have no doubt she’ll still be wonderful, because she’s ours.”
Katie blinked at that, then looked away. Maybe this was all wrong. And yet it felt so right, sitting here in the car with the two of them, being a part of their life. But Katie had made her feelings clear. She didn’t want him. He’d been forced upon her because he was Chrissy’s father. And that was that.
He reached up and squeezed Chrissy’s arm. “I’ll be okay, sweetheart. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Have you seen a doctor for your PTSD?” Katie asked.
He didn’t meet her eyes, conscious of Chrissy listening in. “How did you know I have PTSD?”
Katie shrugged. “I pay attention. Remember, I used to want to be a doctor.”
“Yeah, I remember. And yes, I’ve seen someone. The attacks are happening less often, but they still come on unexpectedly. I’ve never had a big reaction like this before and I’m sorry if I upset you and Chrissy.”
He didn’t know why he was confiding this information to her. It just seemed to come out. But he didn’t understand what was wrong with him and he hated showing any weakness.
“What do you think set it off this time?” Katie asked.
He released a deep sigh. “I think I felt a bit cornered by the hotshots. I know they mean well, but I feared they might ask questions about the fire. But they didn’t, so I’m hoping I’m more at ease with them in the future.”
“It’s only been a matter of weeks. I think it’s normal for you to feel the way you do. Give yourself some time. But the power of prayer can help, too,” Katie said.
Time. Yes, maybe time would help. But prayer? He was still skeptical. And yet her deep, abiding faith touched his heart. He’d been living without anyone’s help for so long. But now he realized he needed more than himself to make it through this current difficulty. Maybe it was time for him to build a relationship with God. He just wasn’t sure he had enough faith to do that.
“Are you all right, Daddy?” Chrissy asked again.
“Yes, I’m fine, bug.” He purposefully used Charlie’s nickname for her, hoping to put her at ease.
The girl smiled. “Are we still going fishing tomorrow?”
Reese chuckled and reached back to run his hand over one of her long ponytails. “Of course we are. And bring your compass. I’ll give you another lesson on how to use it.”
“Oh, goodie!” Chrissy said.
“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Katie asked, her hand resting on the door latch.
He nodded. “Of course. Fishing is a relaxing pastime.”
“And you’re sure that you’re okay now?” She was looking at him with those soft brown eyes, as though searching inside him for the truth.
“Yes. I appreciate your concern, but you don’t need to worry about me.”
They talked for a few more minutes, with Katie’s piercing gaze studying his face for signs of duress. Finally, she seemed satisfied that he was all right and drove him back to Mrs. Watkins’s place, where he got into the truck Charlie had loaned him. As mother and daughter pulled away to go home, Reese returned Chrissy’s wave.
He started up his vehicle but didn’t put it in gear. Instead, he sat there and idled the engine. He couldn’t believe the kindness of the Minoa Hotshots. Instead of recriminations, they’d surrounded him with support. And Katie. He knew she resented him for abandoning her. Yet she’d stayed with him when she thought he was in trouble. And Chrissy with her gentle hug of encouragement... Their kindness startled him. It had been a very long time since someone cared about him, and an even longer time since he’d cared about someone besides himself.
Chapter Nine
This was a mistake. Katie felt it in her bones. She never should have agreed to this fishing trip. Because the more time she spent with the man, the more she liked him. And that would only lead to more pain when he finally left town.
“How come we had to get up so early?” Chrissy grumbled as she rubbed her eyes.
Morning sunlight streamed from the azure sky, and a mild breeze blew from the east. Dressed in shorts and a sweatshirt, the girl stood in the back alleyway and hugged her stuffed teddy bear close. Katie wasn’t thrilled by the early time, either. It was her one morning to sleep in.
Reese loaded their things into the back of his truck. He’d stopped at the motel to pick them up promptly at seven o’clock. In spite of the hour, he was freshly shaven, looking lean and strong in his faded blue jeans, boots and T-shirt. His dark hair had just a hint of gel in it, parted down the right side and slicked back. He looked good. Too good.
