Finding Paige: (The Paige Diaries #1)

by D. K Lake

  Em is still crazy for Spencer and they're still hooking up and doing whatever it is they do. She says he's not seeing anyone else and neither is she but they're not exclusive, but I don't get it. They're not dating anyone else but they're not a couple. It makes my head spin. But I couldn't say much as I was hanging out with Maverick nearly every other day and we spent most of our time together making out and there had been some heavy petting, but nothing more. He usually stops it right before it goes too far. It was kind of annoying but he wanted to take things slow with me and I should be pleased he's so considerate and not like the 90% of the guy population that just wants sex and not the relationship. We hadn't talked about labels. I wasn't his girlfriend and he wasn't my boyfriend, but we weren't seeing anyone else. I guess Em and me aren't that different, except I'm not sleeping with Maverick yet. I want to, though. I want to take the next step with him. Maybe if I do, it will finally give me the push I need to forget about Dario for good. I still find myself thinking about him. Sitting in class daydreaming about what could have been if I had been brave enough to stand up to my mom last year. But I remind myself there's no point in looking back. What's done is done. I need to move on. That's what I'm trying to do with Maverick. Plus, Maverick is awesome and has a killer body. Who wouldn't want him?

  "Hey, sleepyhead." Maverick nudges me awake.

  "What time is it?" I ask, stretching.

  I fell asleep in his bed after we watched a bunch of movies together last night. It had become a pattern. We usually stay at mine if his roommate is here, but recently Em has been coming back late, drunk off her ass with Spencer. Last week, I woke up to the sounds of soft moans and my best friend riding Spencer's naked body like a cowgirl. Never again. We had words about the whole thing, and I told her that in the future, she must tell me if she's bringing him back. He's just been kicked out of his apartment and he's sleeping in Dario's van and the rest of the time he's in Em's bed. Unfortunately.

  But she's mad about him and I've never seen my best friend so infatuated with a guy before. I hate to say it but I think she's in love with him. Which is a first for Em. She usually gets bored and moves onto the next one by now.

  "It's nearly seven." Maverick replies.

  "Seven? Ugh. Why'd you wake me?"

  We stayed up until two watching the Scream movies back-to-back and now I feel like a zombie with a hangover.

  "I have to leave. I'm playing away today, remember?" He tickles my sides and I laugh, squirming away from him.

  "Stop it." I say playfully and hide under the covers.

  I’d almost forgotten he had said he was leaving early on Thursday to go to some football game away.

  "I just wanted to say goodbye." He lays down on the bed fully dressed, including his shoes, and wraps his arm around me.

  "I'm gonna miss you." He squeezes me tightly.

  "I'll miss you too." I tell him and yank the covers out from under him.

  "Oh, I see. You only want me for my bed." he teases, climbing off the bed and picking up his phone from the nightstand.

  "Among other things." I peek at him from under the covers.

  "I'll call you tonight," he says, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

  I smile at him as he picks up his duffel and leaves the room. I look around the empty room. It doesn't feel the same without Maverick here. I nestle back into his bed and try to go back to sleep but my alarm wakes me up twenty minutes later and I drag my ass out of bed and head back to my room. On my way, I pass Spencer just leaving. He gives me a salute as he saunters past and jogs down the stairs. I let myself in and find Em sprawled across the bed butt naked.

  "Em, wake up! We've got classes today." I say loudly, and she grumbles in response.

  There are beer bottles and packets of food all over the place, and the room smells different.

  "Have you been smoking weed in here?" I ask, shaking her awake.

  "Ugh. Stop!" she groans.

  "The room stinks." I open the curtains and crack a window and let some fresh air flow into the room.

  "Shut the curtains," Em whines, covering her head with the pillow.

  "No, you need to get up and go take a shower. What is that sticky stuff in your hair?" I ask, noticing her hair is lumped together with some brown-colored goop.

  She lifts her hair in front of her face to inspect it and then she sucks it into her mouth.

  "Gross, Em."

  "Peanut butter." she says with a smile and sits up with a groan, not caring that she's completely naked.

  "Go and get washed and dressed." I tell her, collecting her wash bag and handing her a towel.

  "Yes, mom." She rolls her eyes at me as she takes them from me and shuffles to the door.

  "Bathrobe, Em." I remind.

  "Fuck." she curses and grabs her bathrobe and covers herself up. "Are you coming to that party tonight?" she asks as she ties the strings around her body.

  "What party?"

  "The one I invited you to last week. Remember? You said Maverick was going to be out of town for football and I asked you if you wanted to come to this party with me."

  "Vaguely," I mutter, sifting through my drawer for a clean top.

  "Well, you said you'd come with me."

  "Where's Spencer?"

  "He's out of town tonight. He won't be back until late. You said you'd keep me company." she whines dramatically.

  I sigh, "Fine. What is this party?"

  "It's Leesha's twentieth birthday."

  "Who's Leesha?"

  "A friend of Spencer's. She's cool. You'll like her."

  "I doubt I'd like her if she's friends with Spencer the drug dealer."

  "He's not that bad."

  "Not that bad? He's a drug dealer that currently has no home and is living in the back of a van or your bed."

  "I like him." she says, hand on the door, casting her eyes down.

  "I know. I'm just worried about you. About this whole thing. I don't want him to break your heart."

  "He won't."

  "How do you know?"

  "Because I just do. He's different. I can't explain it. Everything feels right when I'm with him. I feel like he's the one I've been searching for all these years."

  A homeless drug dealer? Even Em can do better than that. But I can't exactly say that.

  "Do you love him?" I ask instead, but I already know the answer.

  She nods and gives me a small smile.

  "And what about him? Does he love you back?"

  "He does, but he's worried I'm too young and he doesn't want me to rush into anything with him."

  "Well, at least one of you has their head screwed on properly."

  "I know you don't like him-"

  "It's not that, Em. I'm just worried about you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

  "I won't."

  "Okay. Fine." I give up. She's determined to be with him, and I'll just have to get used to it. I just hope he doesn't break her heart because I'll be the one picking up the pieces after he’s gone.

  "So, this party?" I ask.

  "There's going to be cake and party games. Oh, and it's fancy dress."

  "What? I don't have anything. A little warning would have been nice."

  "I told you last week."

  "What are you going as?"

  "I don't know yet. I'm just gonna wing it. Don't worry. We've got plenty of time before tonight." she assures before walking out.

  Great.

  I have to find a fancy-dress costume before tonight to go to another party I don't want to go to. Why did I agree to this?

  ***

  "Are you sure your mom won't mind us raiding her closet?" I ask, lifting out a feather boa from a box and wrapping it around my neck.

  "No, it's fine. I already asked her and she said we could help ourselves."

  Em had driven me back to her house after our classes finished to raid her mom's closet.

  "Where is everyone, anyway?" I haven't seen anyone since we arrived and there
doesn't seem to be anyone around, but it's hard to tell because Em's parents live in a mansion.

  "Steak night at that new rodeo place in town. Dad can't get enough of it. They play country music and there’s karaoke. We should go another night. Maybe we can double date? You and Mav, and me and Spence." She bumps shoulders with me.

  "Yeah, maybe..." I say, lifting out a maid's outfit from the rail. "Uh...what is this?" I laugh. "Now I know for a fact your mom hires other people to clean this house, so why is this in here?" I'm genuinely baffled. "When did your mom ever wear this?"

  She shrugs. "She probably bought it out of the catalog to prance around the house in."

  "Why?" I ask, confused.

  "Mom and Dad are into that kinky shit." She smirks.

  "Oh, gross! Are you telling me this is your mom's sex clothes? Like... she has actual sex with your dad in these?" I'm slightly grossed out right now.

  "In the kitchen with the rolling pin." Em jokes, lifting the maid's outfit out of my hands and holding it against her body. "What do you think?" she asks.

  "I think I need a wash. I suddenly feel dirty."

  Em laughs at me as I bop down to open another box.

  "Ohmigawd!" I cry in mock horror at the sight of all the vibrators and handcuffs.

  Em looks over my shoulder and giggles. I hide the box back in the closet and try to erase it from my memory. I won't be able to look at her parents with a straight face ever again.

  "Oh, wow! Look at this! You can be a sexy, dark angel and I'll be the dirty maid." She lifts out a tiny black outfit with a tutu that has matching wings.

  I take it from her and examine the dress. "Underwear covers more." I say, gaining a grin from Em.

  "It's fancy dress, everyone will be wearing something slutty. You don't want to be the odd one out that turns up as a male Dracula, do you?" she says, pointing to her dad's vampire outfit he wore to a previous Halloween party.

  "Come on, let's get showered and changed into these. I can do your makeup. I think I have some black glitter in my bedroom."

  "Hey, Em?"

  "Hmm?" she hums, tidying the closet and returning the hangers to the rails.

  "Dario won't be there, will he?"

  "Why would he be there?" She closes the doors.

  I shrug, running my fingers over the wings I'm holding.

  "I thought you didn't care about Dario?"

  "I don't. But I don't want to run into him."

  "Don't worry. I doubt a fancy-dress party is his thing." she says and pulls me out of the room.

  "This dress is too small." I worry.

  "No, it's not. You'll look hot in it."

  "I don't want to look hot. Maverick isn't even here. I don't want to look hot for anyone else."

  "Then do it for yourself. ‘Cause I don't want to show up to this party with you wearing a potato sack."

  "I'm not that bad."

  "Please, if you had your way you'd be wearing a cardigan."

  "There's nothing wrong with wearing a cardigan."

  "All right, grandma." Em teases. "Go and get showered. You can use the main bathroom and I'll use my en-suite."

  I trudge along the hallway toward the bathroom.

  "Stop moping. You're gonna have fun. I promise." Em sings.

  I fake scowl at her as I close the door and she flips me the bird in response and sticks her tongue out.

  At least she won't abandon me to run off with Spencer because he won't be there until late. Maybe this party won't be so bad.

  Chapter 23

  Em drives to the party, bouncing around to the stereo. She's in such a good mood this evening. She won't stop looking over at me and smiling.

  "Seriously? Quit it! What is with you?" I ask, staring at her.

  "Nothing. I'm just happy." She smiles at me before looking back out the window.

  "You won't get too drunk tonight?" I ask.

  "Me? You're the one that got totally sloshed at the last party we went to together, remember?"

  "Yes, because-" I stop myself.

  "Because?" Em says slowly.

  "Because Dario was there and drinking helped me to block him out, okay?"

  "Dario, Dario, Dario." she sings. "That boy is under your skin."

  "He is not." I fidget in the seat, tugging on the tutu that covers nothing. I had to borrow some of Em's black underwear as I hadn't been thinking about it when I packed a bag before we went over to her house, packing white panties. Duh!

  I had insisted on fishnet stockings to cover my legs and Em had found me a cute pair of black heels. I had spent a good twenty minutes learning to walk in the shoes while Em finished her makeup.

  "Stop worrying. You look amazing." Em assures.

  "I don't know. I wish I had your confidence."

  "You can. It's called not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. You should try it sometime."

  Em drives to a nicer part of Radley Springs and into a cul-de-sac I've never seen before. I can already see the house where the party is. There are decorative lights and streamers all over the porch, and the grass is packed with cars already.

  I worry we'll stick out in our outfits, but then I spot a girl wearing something only a Victoria's Secret model would wear strutting up the driveway, and I suddenly don't feel so obvious. It's like she couldn't find an outfit and just went in her underwear. Probably. I see a few guys running around the side of the house. One is the Incredible Hulk with his face painted all green, and the other is dressed as Captain America.

  Em parks the car down the street as there's no space on the driveway or anywhere near it. We wander up the porch steps and Em says hello to a few people I don't know. The door swings open and a drunk-looking pirate stumbles through and eyes me up and down like I'm a tasty treat.

  Em grabs my hand and pulls me inside and into the madness. There are people everywhere. The house is packed with bodies. It's so full we blend in and get lost amongst the crowd. The music's pumping some weird techno shit through the speakers. The lights are off and there are flashing disco lights lighting up the room. There's a cloud of smoke above my head and the familiar smell of weed lingers all around me.

  "Are we late?" I shout as we weave our way through the middle.

  "She said seven."

  "It's nearly nine." I remind.

  Em took forever in the bathroom and even longer to do her makeup. I don't know where the time went. We left classes after three and somehow managed to spend the rest of the day at her house getting ready. Funny thing is, I never asked Em what time the party started. The party is in full swing and people have gone all out with their costumes. I spot Cleopatra, Minnie Mouse, Shrek, Robin Hood, Batman, and there's even one girl dressed up like Kim Kardashian. I also spot another dark angel but her makeup is all smeared, one of her wings is broken, and she has a tear in her stockings and I wonder if that was the look she was going for.

  Em leads me into the kitchen where there is a sign above the door that reads: Happy 20th. Inside the kitchen, there is a large cake with frosting that has been almost devoured and there is alcohol covering most of the countertops and a few bowls of chips and dip.

  "I guess we're a bit late for cake." I say, helping myself to some chips.

  "But there's still rum." says a voice from behind us. A dark-skinned guy wearing a fake beard and eye-patch comes over to us and hooks his arms around the both of us.

  Uh, who are you? I want to ask.

  "Hey, Colin. Nice parrot." Em chuckles, tapping the fake bird he has attached to his shoulder. I casually slide out from under his arm.

  "Colin, this is my roommate, Paige. Paige, this is Colin," Em introduces us.

  "Hi," I smile politely.

  "Paige, huh?" He gives me a look as though he's thinking something. "The Paige?" he asks Em.

  "Uh-huh." Em answers.

  "Well, it's good to finally meet you, Paige."

  "Colin!" someone yells, and he nods his head at the other person. "Help yourselves to whatever you want. Hav
e fun-"

  "But not too much fun!" Em and Colin both say at the same time and burst out laughing at some joke I don't understand. He walks away and I turn to glare at Em as she picks up the vodka bottle.

  "What?" she asks.

  "What did he mean by The Paige?"

  "Huh?"

  "Em," I give her a look.

  "He knows Dario." she says as though that explains everything.

  "Okay?" I follow her along the counter as she finds a clean cup and starts fixing herself a vodka and coke.

  "And Dario likes to talk about you when he's drunk."

  "What?"

  She looks up at me with a smile. "Don't worry. Nothing bad. But he doesn't usually shut up about you."

  "Since when are you and Dario friends?"

  She shrugs. "He's friends with Spencer. We all hang out sometimes."

  "You never said anything."

  "Maybe because you told me never to bring him up. So, I don't." She smirks, sipping her drink.

  "What else has he said about me?"

  "Oh, you know...that you two shared a passionate night together and gave yourselves to each other."

  I just stare at her as the color drains from my face.

  I want to strangle him.

  "Paige, it's fine. I already knew that anyhow. But I didn't know you two were planning to move across the country for each other. You never told me that."

  "You haven't told him about..." I trail off.

  "No. It's not mine to tell."

  "I can't believe he's been getting drunk and telling people about us."

  She shakes her head. "He only talks to me, but everyone else knows about you because he never hooks up with anyone and you're the reason why."

  "How so?"

  "Because he's in love with you, silly. Whenever a girl tries it on with him, he tells them that he's waiting for his soulmate to come back to him."

  My mouth drops open and she smiles at my reaction. "He's really cute when he's drunk, telling everyone how much he loves you and how he wants to marry you."

  "What? Are you joking?"

  She doesn't get a chance to reply as Spencer walks into the kitchen and wolf whistles.

  "Finally! There's my girl. I've been waiting for fucking hours." Spencer picks Em up off her feet and spins her around as I move out of the way.