The Old Memories
Glenna poured some cat food into the bowl labeled ‘Possum Demon’. The sound of the bits against metal rang throughout the house. Merlin came running to the kitchen. He sniffed the bowl for a good while and then he walked off.
“Again?”
They had gone through this dance every day since she arrived. Over the past week, Glenna had tried five different brands of food. She even tried wet food and rotisserie chicken. She had never witnessed him eat food or drink water.
Merlin wasn’t having it.
Sometimes, he would bring her mice. He liked to roam the big, old house and poke around in different rooms. He was very careful not to track mouse bits everywhere.
“Rodent must be your food of choice.”
She set the bag down and looked around the kitchen. There was nothing to do. She had cleaned everything in the front of the house at least three times since she had been there - especially since she decided to make the living room her bedroom. Her goal was to stay as busy as possible.
Merlin licked his paw and then set off past Glenna. She shrugged and followed him.
While she had given the front of the house a good once-over, she hadn’t ventured very far into other parts. The halls were dark with cobwebs clinging to the corners. They made their way to her old room on the right. The door was closed but not locked.
She peaked in.
It was almost as if she had never left. Everything was just as she remembered it. Her bed was made and she had pictures and stickers all over her dresser mirror. She leaned against the doorframe.
If only…
Merlin brushed up against her ankle and hopped on her bed.
Glenna wanted to stay for a while but she was curious about the state of the other rooms. She made her way to Robert’s study. The day that she moved out, Robert was there. He never allowed her to go inside. She reached for the knob and the door pushed easily open.
I guess he stopped locking it when I moved away.
Light from the window flooded the room. Under the window was Robert’s old desk. It faced towards the door. The desk was littered with stacks of paper and notebooks.
She walked behind the desk and looked out the window. It was a clear view of the river behind their house.
How did he look out of this window every day?
She turned back and thumbed through the notebooks. One of them was full of weird drawings. A lot of them were of Merlin. The drawings were accompanied by a photograph. Merlin looked old in the photo. Much older than he does now.
Unless, the Merlin I have now is different?
Glenna studied the photo and then shook her head. She decided that it didn’t matter. He still felt the same. She put the notebook back on the desk.
There was a picture frame on the desk. It held a photo of Robert and her mom. They looked so young in the photo. They were both smiling. Glenna touched her mother’s cheek and sighed.
To her left, Glenna noticed an old closet. It was propped open by a pile of books. She walked over and saw that the closet had shelves full of books, more picture frames, and plenty of photo albums. She picked up the dust-covered frames one by one.
Most of them were of their little family. Robert, her mom, and Glenna. The further she dug, the less her mother appeared in the photos… until she wasn’t there at all. The pictures turned into a documentation of her life growing up in Woods County. From her first birthday after the accident to her first day working her summer job at Haviland’s.
I never knew you cared.
Glenna ripped back the plastic and pulled a picture of the three of them from the album. All of them were smiling.
Behind her, she heard the floorboards creak. It sounded like someone was walking up the hall. Glenna panicked. When she turned to check it out, she heard a door slam somewhere in the house.
Her heart was racing.
The door to the study slowly started to open. The hinges creaked. Then, the culprit came around the door, staring at her.
“You scared the shit out of me.”
Merlin meowed at her and turned back into the hall.
Glenna grabbed an album and took it downstairs.
The Escape
Glenna sat peacefully on the couch and watched TV while Merlin watched birds out the window. Glenna stood to grab a snack from the kitchen. She glanced down at her phone. She hadn’t heard from Albert in a few days.
Maybe he’s busy?
She dialed his number but he didn’t pick up… again. She tried again and he answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Albert! What’s up? You haven’t been responding to my texts?”
The other end went silent.
“Hello?”
“Glenna, I think we should call it quits.”
Glenna could feel her heart drop to her stomach. “Excuse me, what?”
“Please don’t make me say it again.”
“What did I do?”
“Nothing, I guess. It’s just… We got into a big fight last time and -”
“But things have been better.”
“Yeah. Things have been much quieter around here lately. I think it’s just time.”
“We’ve been together for six years. You can't just blow it all off because of one argument.”
“It’s never been one argument.”
“Albert, are you serious? Are you fucking serious right now? Hello?”
Glenna’s pacing had turned to stomping and she made her way outside. “How can we fix this? Fix us?”
“Maybe there is nothing to fix. Think, Glenna, do you really want to be with me? When is the last time you thought about us having a future together.”
Glenna thought hard but came up empty. She really hadn’t thought about Albert that much in a while. The texting had become automatic. Good morning. Good night. I love you.
“You still there?”
“Do you love me?”
“Glenna, don’t.”
“Just… tell me.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“Albert, please. I’m begging you. Tell me you love me.” Glenna’s throat tightened. Her eyes filled with tears ready to drop.
“I’ve gotta go. I’ll leave your things at Jody’s place.”
Glenna held the phone to her ear listening to the silence. She couldn’t believe what was happening.
Everything was fine a week ago. How could he do this?
Her whole body was shaking. She screamed as loud and long as she could. She took a deep breath and screamed again until her throat was sore and the scream sounded like a whisper. She fell to the ground and the tears rolled from her cheeks and landed in the dirt.
All this fucking dirt. When did my life do this? How am I even here? I don’t want to be here anymore.
Glenna spread out on the ground - turning over to face the clouds. The sun was blocked by a mixture of her tears and grey clouds. One of the clouds flew by her.
Or was it? No…
Glenna sat up and looked towards the house. The front door was wide open. She stood.
“Merlin? Merlin?!”
She heard a rustle behind her and turned to see Merlin running through the grass.
“No. No. Merlin!”
Glenna took off behind the cat, calling his name the whole while. Through trees, over old logs. She was going deeper into the woods but she wasn’t lost. She had been here before.
“Merlin, wait.”
Then she heard it. Water was rushing and bubbling somewhere in the woods.
The river.
“Merlin, please.”
Glenna tried to scream but her throat was still sore. She followed him right up to the water’s edge.
“Merlin? Come here, baby.”
Merlin was staring at the water. Glenna crept up behind him. She reached to grab his back legs and pull him towards her. But, he jumped.
Glenna froze and watched as Merlin sank below the water’s surface.
T
oday of all days. I don’t want to lose you again.
She was scared but she had to act fast. Glenna crawled to the edge. She could see her own reflection staring back at her and dancing on the ripples. Below that, Merlin. She couldn't tell if he was moving or if it was the water.
She slowly put her fingers into the water. It was freezing cold. She pushed further, trying to keep her knees planted on the grass. But she couldn’t reach. Her heart pounded against her chest. She’d have to go in. She couldn't let the water bury him.
Glenna slowly lowered her body into the water. She closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths and pinched her nose to go under. Her limbs shook and her heart stopped. The world around her was muffled and bluish-grey. She could see her Merlin balled up near her feet. She scooped him up and climbed out of the river.
Merlin’s body felt limp in her arms. He was heavy from the water in his fur. She held his body close and walked back to the house. When she got close, she saw Guthrie pulling up.
“Hey, I heard yelling. You alright?”
“Can you save him?”
“I can try. How long was he under?”
“I don’t know. A few minutes. Maybe less.”
“Did you see any air bubbles?”
“I … I don’t know. The water was so fast.”
“Was he making any weird noises or…?”
Glenna shook her head and looked down.
“Sorry. Okay, I’ll take him and see what I can do. Okay?”
Glenna stared at her shoes.
“You wanna talk?”
“Maybe later.”
“Okay, I’ll go on now but keep in touch if you need anything. I'm just down the road. You’re free to come with me, you know.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Glenna turned to go back inside. She crashed on the couch with Merlin’s toy mouse.
How could I have let Merlin out?
It was the same thing that she hated Robert for. All these years she cursed him. Only to end up doing the same thing.
On top of that, her vacation time at work was almost over. She had two days to pack everything up and head back to Benton. It was a big city, but she had no idea where she would stay. She didn’t really know anyone other than Albert and Jody. Jody had two cats and a roommate.
She could always just stay. She had some money saved up on the side and could live off that for a few months. But that meant she would have to quit her job. Glenna had never quit anything in her life.
Glenna turned towards the back of the sofa. She had no idea what she was going to do. It felt like her life was falling apart. She felt so lost and confused and just wanted to sleep it away.
Merlin’s toy mouse rested against her chest as she cried.
The Withdrawal
When Glenna woke, her eyelashes and cheeks were caked in dried tears. She fixed a bowl of cereal and managed to get down two bites before there was a knock at the door.
Maybe it’s Guthrie.
Glenna swung the door open and promptly slammed it back.
Oh gosh.
“Just a minute!”
She scrambled to wash her face and adjust her clothes. There was another knock.
“Coming.”
She took a deep breath and opened the door. She was met with a tight hug and the smell of peonies and cedar.
“Your shit’s in my car.”
“Good to see you, too.”
Jody smiled and walked towards the car. “It’s not a lot. But I think it’s all there.”
Glenna rubbed her arms. They were still sore from the cold river yesterday. She helped Jody unload.
“You want something to eat? I… I have cereal.”
“No, I’m good. Where do I put this stuff?”
“Oh, I’ve been sleeping in the living room.”
“Why?”
“I dunno.”
“Okay. So where do I sleep?”
“Huh?”
“Figured I could use the vacation. And you need something to do other than snotting all over yourself.”
Jody smirked.
“How long are you staying?”
“Until. I mean, my lease is up anyway. I’ll crash in your old room if you aren’t using it anymore.”
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead. It’s down-”
“Down the hall and to the right. Yep.”
Glenna smiled.
Jody grabbed her bags and went down the hall. When she came back, Glenna was flipping through channels.
“You weren’t joking about no Netflix, huh?”
Glenna scoffed, “No Netflix, no internet, no nothing.”
“So what did your old man do in his spare time?”
Glenna shrugged and turned back to the TV.
“Say, where’s Merlin?”
Glenna frowned. “He’s with Guthrie.”
“Yeah she’s an animal whisperer.”
Glenna looked down.
“What’s wrong? I was just kidding. I’m sure she’ll yell at him, too.”
“There was an accident.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
Glenna told Jody what happened. How jumping into the river brought up memories of that terrible accident from her childhood. It was something that she thought she had hidden in the back of her mind.
“The water was so cold. If I had been faster, I could have maybe scooped him up. If I hadn’t left the door open when arguing with Albert.”
“Hey, don’t do that. It's’ not your fault.”
“It’s not? Then whose? Albert? He’s an asshole but he didn’t do it.”
“It was an accident. It just happened.”
Glenna burst into tears. Jody embraced her.
“Don’t snot on me.”
Glenna laughed.
“Let’s grab some wine and ice cream. Maybe we could make a pizza, too?”
“I’d like that.”
The next morning, Glenna went to the local credit union to get some cash. Jody had insisted that Glenna needed to eat something other than cereal. When her receipt printed, the balance was well above what she was expecting. Within the last month, a large sum of money had been deposited into the account.
“Large. I’m talking thousands.”
“Geez, what is it from?”
“I don’t know. It could be some of Albert’s shenanigans.”
“Or, it could be from Robert.” Jody shrugged, “Or not, I guess.”
Glenna hadn’t even considered that Robert would leave her anything. When she grew up, she thought they were struggling to get by. Robert was always working from home and tinkering in his study. They hardly took a vacation.
Maybe he was just hoarding it?
“What do I do with it?”
“Is this still a joint account with The Boob?”
Glenna nodded.
“Then I suggest you take out everything from that deposit and transfer it to the Woods County Credit Union. Albert doesn’t have a right to the money if it’s from Mr. Rob. And I’m sure the credit union would appreciate it.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
Glenna set up a new checking and savings account. She added Jody on as a joint holder so that she could buy some things for the place on her own. The teller let them know that all of the money would not be transferred immediately. Glenna said that was fine and they left with the cash from the ATM.
Instead of something home-cooked, they decided to pick up a meal from Cletus’ Vegan Rib Shack and pop open a glass of wine. They celebrated their new fortune. Down the hall, Glenna heard creaking.
"You ever feel like someone is watching us? Like, this uneasy feeling in your bones."
"Of course, Merlin."
“I’m serious.”
“Don’t worry. This is an old house. It’s just settling… Or there are ghosts about. Either or.”
Whitman River Page 5
