by Joanne Fluke
“Coffee,” Hannah breathed and it was more of a prayer than a statement. She needed caffeine and she needed it now, before Newton’s First Law of Motion, the one about inertia, came into play. A body at rest tended to stay at rest. And applying this principle of physics to her own life meant that if she didn’t get up soon, she might fall under the First Law and just sit on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall all day.
“Coffee. Coffee now!” It was as close to a cheer as she could come up with in the cold predawn of a December morning, but it served to whet her appetite for the hot, aromatic brew her great grandmother Elsa had called Swedish Plasma.
Before she had time to think, which would only have served to confuse her, Hannah was on her feet. And then her feet were moving, heading down the hallway toward the kitchen. The coffeepot that had activated automatically five minutes before her alarm clock had sounded was now sitting on the counter with a full carafe of the world’s most popular life-sustaining potion, just waiting for her to imbibe.
“You, here. Me, there,” she said to the cat who followed her into the kitchen, batting at the ends of the belt she’d forgotten to tie on her robe. Moishe appeared to understand his mistress’s pidgin English because he backed off immediately and took up a position of hope by his empty food bowl.
Hannah had her priorities straight. It took every corner of her partially alert mind to do it, but she opened the combination padlock on the broom closet, pulled out the forty-pound sack of kitty kibble that Moishe loved, and dumped a full measure into his bowl. She replaced the kibble, replaced the padlock, and then she poured her first cup of coffee.
“Uff-dah!” she groaned, audibly revealing her Minnesota roots as she sank down on one of the chairs that had come with her Formica-topped breakfast table. She glanced over to see if Moishe was eating and was about to pick up her mug of coffee for that first bracing sip, when she saw something red out of the corner of her eye.
It was a red scarf tied around the handle of her refrigerator. For several moments Hannah was genuinely puzzled, but then she caught sight of the mixing bowl and utensils washed and stacked on the counter, and everything became clear. When everyone had left last night, at shortly before two in the morning, Hannah had intended to go straight to bed. Unfortunately her mind was still racing and there was no way she could sleep. Instead of wasting valuable time tossing and turning, she’d flicked on the lights in the kitchen and mixed up a batch of cookies. They were experimental, something she’d been planning to try for several months, and the dough was chilling in the refrigerator. That was the reason she’d tied her scarf around the handle of the refrigerator. It was to remind her to take the dough with her when she left for work, so that she could bake it at The Cookie Jar. If the cookies were as good as she expected them to be, she’d serve them at her mother’s club luncheon.
First things first, Hannah told herself, raising the mug of coffee to her lips. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the antioxidants in the steam that some researcher claimed would save coffee kiosk employees from lung cancer. Hannah thought that would be lovely, but she didn’t believe it for a second. On the other hand, what could it hurt? She’d been inhaling the steam from coffee for years simply because she loved the aroma.
Another deep coffee-flavored sniff and it was time to enjoy the brew. Hannah was just about to take that first scalding sip when the telephone rang.
“Mother!” she exclaimed, in the same voice she would have used if she’d skidded off the road and into a ditch. She swallowed fast, taking a sip while she could, and glanced over at her Mother-barometer. Sure enough, Moishe’s fur was bristling and he’d puffed up like a Halloween cat. He’d also begun to make the growling sound, deep in his throat, that meant, Maybe you’re bigger than I am, but I’m gonna shred those pantyhose you’re wearing. It wasn’t a guarantee that Delores Swensen was on the other end of the line, but Hannah’s feline roommate was right a whole lot more than he was wrong.
Hannah took another sip of her coffee and then she stood up to reach for the wall phone. She sat right back down again, knowing that no previous conversation with her mother had ever lasted less than fifteen minutes, and answered. “Hello, Mother.”
“I wish you wouldn’t do that, Hannah!” Delores gave a deep sigh that was so forceful, it almost tickled Hannah’s ear. “What if I wasn’t me?”
“Then you’d need to see a psychiatrist, because you’d have an identity crisis.”
“Hannah!”
“Sorry, Mother.”
Delores gave an exasperated sigh that was almost as loud as her previous sigh. “You always say that, and you still answer the phone that way. But I didn’t call to argue with you.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Hannah said, winking at her cat, who was still puffed up several times his size, preparing to take on any predator.
“I’m not going to argue, but I do have a bone to pick with you, Hannah.”
Hannah took another sip of coffee, wisely saying nothing. Her mother was only mildly upset. If she’d been extremely upset, she would have called Hannah by her first and middle names.
“Bill called me this morning to ask me about Melinda.”
“Melinda who?” Hannah asked, wondering what in the world her mother was talking about.
“Melinda Bergstrom, Wayne’s wife. Surely you remember Wayne Bergstrom. You found his body last night. And you found it practically in front of your sisters!” Delores delivered another sigh that made the phone give an odd little sound that probably meant it had exceeded its decibel level. “You have got to stop doing this, Hannah Louise!”
Uh-oh! Hannah’s mind shouted out a warning. Delores only used her middle name when she was what her father had called, “loaded for bear.”
“I’d love to stop doing it! It’s not like I enjoy finding murder victims, or anything like that. I only climbed up on that snow bank because we were curious and I didn’t want them to do it.”
There was silence for a moment. Delores was thinking it over. “Well…” she said finally, “that’s good. It’s good that you were sparing your sisters’ sensibilities. That’s an admirable quality.”
Hannah came very close to gasping out loud in surprise. She’d never gotten off so easily before. It was best to change the subject now, while she was still ahead of the game.
“Thank you, Mother. Now about the luncheon today, I need some sort of a timeline.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re having quiche and it’s best if it’s warm. How many awards will you be presenting before you want me to serve lunch?”
“Let me see…three of our members are getting their five-year manor houses. They’re darling little miniatures of English Manor Homes. I found them in a catalogue and ordered them from London.”
“Will there be speeches after you present them?”
“No, dear. They’re limited to thirty seconds to thank us. But there will be three more presentations. Carrie’s getting her ten-year curricle with a matched pair.”
Hannah knew her mother was talking about a carriage pulled by two horses. “To put in front of her manor house?” she guessed.
“Exactly. Since she’s the oldest living member, I told her she could have one minute to speak.”
“Okay,” Hannah said, hoping her mother wouldn’t use that particular phrase. Carrie Rhodes, her mother’s friend and partner in the antique business, wouldn’t appreciate being called the oldest living member. And come to think of it, did that imply that the Lake Eden Regency Romance Club also had members who were dead?
“Did you hear me, Hannah?”
Her mother’s voice pulled her back from contemplating whether one had to be alive to be a member of an organization, and Hannah was quick to apologize. “Sorry, Mother. I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I asked you if you’d have enough quiche so that Norman could eat with us. He’s coming to take pictures of the award ceremony on his lunch hour.”
“Of course. I a
lways have extra. You know that, Mother.”
“And you did remember that I asked for a vegetarian alternative?”
“I did. We’re having two kinds of quiche, one vegetarian and the other with meat.”
“How about dessert? Did you manage to come up with something authentic to the time period?”
“I think so. I call them Regency Seed Cakes. They had oranges back then, didn’t they? I seem to remember someone talking about a greenhouse-type room with fruit trees.”
“That would have been an orangery, dear. It was like a solarium with exotic plants and trees. Most of the expensive mansions had them.”
“Good. Well, these are a little like lemon poppy seed cake, except that they’re cookies made with oranges and poppy seeds.”
“They sound wonderful, dear!”
I hope so, Hannah thought, but she didn’t want to worry her mother by telling her the Regency Seed Cakes were last night’s invention and she hadn’t had time to test them yet. It was much safer to say nothing and change the subject. “What time do you want me to serve the quiche, Mother? If you can give me an estimate of the time, I’ll make sure they’re still warm.”
“Let me think, dear.” There was silence for a moment and then Delores spoke again. “We’re starting at noon and the awards are first. I think we should be through in ten minutes. Although…we do have a special award for Jenny Perkins, of course.”
“Jenny who?” Hannah asked. She was almost certain she’d never met a Jenny Perkins at any of her mother’s club meetings.
“You knew her as Jenny Bergstrom, but now she’s Jenny Perkins again. She took back her maiden name after the divorce.”
Hannah hadn’t known that Wayne’s ex-wife was in town!
“I’ll call her this morning to make sure she’s coming. I hope so. Poor Jenny will need the support of friends at this sad time in her life.”
“What sad time? Haven’t Wayne and Jenny been divorced for at least five years?”
“Six, to be exact. But Jenny married Wayne right out of high school and she was utterly devastated when he filed for divorce. He was her first love, and a woman never gets over her first love. Wayne’s death is bound to open old wounds for Jenny.”
“Just as long as Jenny didn’t open new wounds in Wayne,” Hannah muttered just under her breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, Mother. Just thinking out loud. You said you’d call Jenny this morning. Is she staying with friends?”
“No, she didn’t want to put any of us out. We all offered our guest rooms, but she booked a room at the inn.”
Hannah decided not to plumb for any more information. If Delores suspected that Jenny had just moved to the top of her eldest daughter’s suspect list, she’d go right back to being angry again.
“Will you call me at the shop as soon as you know if Jenny’s coming?” Hannah asked.
“Of course. But why?”
So that I can watch her like a hawk and maybe even interrogate her while I’m serving the quiche, Hannah thought. But of course she didn’t say that to her mother. Instead she settled for, “I’ll pack up some chocolate cookies and send them back to the inn with her.”
“That’s a good idea, dear. Chocolate always helps in times of stress. I was thinking of picking up some chocolate truffles at Fanny Farmer’s.”
The lightbulb went on in Hannah’s mind and grew into a powerful halogen. Fanny Farmer’s was in the Tri-County Mall, and so was Bergstrom’s Department Store. Now was the perfect time to ask her mother to find out about the Santa costumes they sold at Bergstrom’s. “Chocolate truffles would be great, Mother. And since you’re going to the mall anyway, could you do one little thing for me?”
“You want me to buy you that absolutely darling purse I told you about?” Delores guessed.
Her mother sounded so hopeful, Hannah almost caved in. It was true that her huge shoulder bag purse was showing some serious wear. But the purse Delores had wanted to buy for her was one-fourth the size of her current bag. What would she do with all of the absolutely essential items she now carried?
“That’s very sweet of you, Mother,” Hannah hedged. “Thank you for offering, but that’s not it. What I really want is for you to do a little sleuthing.”
“Sleuthing? Does that mean you’re going to work with Mike on the case?”
“Not exactly. Mike’s going to work on the case. And I’m going to work on the case. But we’re not necessarily going to work together. He was here last night to take our statements and he warned me to stay out of it.”
Delores gave a laugh. “Oh, he always warns you to stay out of it! And we’ve never listened to him before. He gets his nose out of joint every time we come up with a good lead, but he knows how much he needs our help. He just can’t admit it, that’s all.”
Hannah grinned. Her mother was using the plural personal pronoun and that meant she was ready to join in the hunt for Wayne’s killer. “You’re probably right, Mother.”
“I know I’m right. On the other hand, there’s no sense in antagonizing him. He is the law, after all. We’ll just have to be very hush-hush about what we’re doing. Now what sleuthing can I do for you at the mall, dear?”
“Could you go into Bergstrom’s and pick up one of those big tubs of miniature candy canes for me? I’ll pay you back later.”
“Of course I can. But what does that have to do with Wayne’s murder?”
“Absolutely nothing. But while you’re there, I’d like you to take a look at the Santa suits they sell. I need to know how warm they’d be if you wore one of them outside in the winter.”
“Oh, my! I had no idea!”
Hannah was confused. “No idea of what?”
“That poor Wayne was wearing his Santa suit when he was murdered! Just wait until I tell the girls! Of course I have to be careful not to say anything in front of Jenny. I wouldn’t upset her for the world.”
Hannah just shook her head. Delores had one foot on the end of the dock and the other in the rowboat. It would be interesting to see which foot won out. Would it be friendship? Or juicy gossip?
“I have to hang up now, dear. I need to call Carrie and fill her in. I’ll take her out to Bergstrom’s with me. Her niece works in Fine Jewelry and we can pump her for information.”
There was a click and the line went dead. Hannah shrugged, hung up the phone, and turned to glance at her kitchen clock. Her mother’s call had lasted less than five minutes. That was a new world’s record.
“It’s okay. She’s gone now,” she said to the cat who was staring at the phone with deadly intent. He had taken an instant dislike to Delores and not even the shrimp she occasionally brought him had sweetened his opinion of her. “Come on, Moishe. Let’s get you some more breakfast.”
Under normal circumstances the word breakfast would have resulted in an immediate dash to the food bowl. But this time the culinary magic of kitty crunchies didn’t work. Moishe continued to stare at the phone with his fur bristling and his tail swishing back and forth like a scythe.
“Uh-oh,” Hannah breathed, wondering what she should do. She had to take a shower and get ready for work, but there was no way she could leave Moishe alone with the phone without risking a cord peppered with puncture wounds.
“Okay. I’m calling in the big guns.” Hannah picked up the phone and dialed. A moment later she had Lisa on the phone.
“Did I wake you?” she asked.
“No, we were just sitting down to breakfast. I heard about Wayne Bergstrom on KCOW.”
Hannah sighed. She should have known that Jake and Kelly, the wacky radio hosts of News at O’Dark-Thirty, would have the latest scoop. “Did they say anything about me?”
“Oh, yes.” Hannah’s young partner gave a little chuckle. “They said you discovered Wayne’s body. And then they joked around about how Lake Eden’s Cookie Lady had murder on the menu again.”
“We’re going to be packed today,” Hannah said with a groan. “
And I’ve got the Regency club luncheon.”
“That’s okay. I can handle the shop by myself.”
“I know you can handle it on a normal day, but everybody and their cousin’s going to stop in to ask questions.”
“And you won’t be there to answer them,” Lisa pointed out. “So I guess they’ll just have to sit there and buy more cookies and coffee while they wait for you to come back.”
“Okay, but I’m still going to call around and see if I can get some help for you.”
“It’s all taken care of. I talked to Marge and Dad and they’re going to help out.”
“Great!” Hannah glanced down at her feline and remembered the reason she’d called Lisa in the first place. “Do you have time to do a quick favor for me?”
“What is it?”
“I’m going to hold the phone out and I want you to say hi to Moishe. Otherwise he’s going to hop up on the table and kill it while I’m taking my shower.”
There was silence for a moment and then Lisa laughed. “Your mother called?”
“That’s right. Just let him hear your voice and he’ll calm right down.” Hannah lowered the phone toward her feline and held it out. “Listen to this, Moishe. It’s Lisa.”
“Hi, Moishe.” Hannah could hear Lisa’s voice faintly as she held the phone at arm’s length. It sounded tinny and very small, the same sort of voice a mouse might use if mice could speak.
Moishe pulled back, away from the sound at first. But then he seemed to realize that the voice was talking to him and he moved closer again.
“How are you this morning?” Lisa continued the conversation and Hannah began to smile. Moishe had moved another step closer and he’d started to rub his cheek against the phone.
“You’re such a good boy, Moishe,” Lisa said, and Hannah’s cat began to purr. “Did Mommy give you your breakfast yet?”
