by Isobel Bird
“I happen to love them,” Jessica said. “Maybe I’ll come along one of these nights.”
“Oh, you can’t,” Annie said quickly.
Jessica looked puzzled.
“I mean, the group is closed to new members right now,” Annie added hastily. “It was getting too big, so we decided to limit it to twenty. But if someone drops out you can come.”
“Right,” said Kate. “Then we’d be glad to have you.”
Jessica nodded. “Okay,” she said. “But Kate, what about Tuesday night games?”
“Games?” Cooper and Annie said.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, Kate thought. Just when she’d thought she was out of the woods, Jessica had to go and bring up basketball. Kate hadn’t yet told Annie and Cooper about the intramural league games scheduled on the same nights as class.
“There’s a fall intramural league we’re in, and the games are mostly on Tuesday nights this year,” Tara said, doing Kate’s work for her. “I guess you’ll just have to skip the group on those nights, Kate.”
“Kate, will you be skipping class?” Cooper asked her friend, raising one eyebrow teasingly.
“I’m trying to work all of that out,” Kate answered carefully.
Cooper made a noncommittal noise, and Annie gave Kate a look that indicated her displeasure, but neither of them said anything.
“How about those sodas?” Kate suggested. “I’m really thirsty all of a sudden.”
Later that evening, after saying good-bye to Tara and Jessica, Kate, Cooper, Annie, and Sasha were sitting in Annie’s bedroom. Now that they were away from the other girls, Kate’s friends were letting her know in no uncertain terms just how they felt about what had happened.
“I can’t believe I had to tell them that we go to a book group!” Cooper said. She was pacing the room like a tiger in a cage, and Kate knew she was angry. She couldn’t blame her. She didn’t feel very good about what had happened either. At the same time, she had to admit that she was relieved that her secret was still safe from Jessica and Tara.
“I couldn’t just spring it on them right there,” she said in her own defense. “I mean, it wasn’t like I knew Archer was going to show up and mention class.”
“You could have told them yesterday,” Cooper argued. “You know, when you were all busy trying to pretend you didn’t know what my pentacle was.”
“That’s not fair,” said Kate. “I defended you.”
“I don’t need defending,” Cooper said. “That’s the whole point, Kate. I’m not ashamed of having Wicca as part of my life. Neither is Annie. You’re the only one who keeps hiding it. And when you hide it then we end up having to hide it, too. It isn’t fair. Tyler already told you that he can’t live like that. Well, neither can we.”
“What are you saying?” Kate asked, afraid to hear the answer.
“I’m saying that I won’t lie anymore,” Cooper told her. “If Jessica and Tara ask me what my pentacle is, or what we really do at the store, I’m going to tell them.”
Kate was quiet for a moment. “Is that how you feel, too?” she asked Annie.
Annie sighed. “You really do make it hard sometimes,” she said. “I didn’t mind so much when it was just your parents, but now that we’re going to be hanging around with Jessica and Tara, I think you have to make some serious choices.”
“Like what you’re going to do about the basketball league,” Cooper said.
“That’s not your problem,” Kate snapped, sounding angrier than she wanted to.
“Yeah, it is,” Cooper answered just as angrily. “We’re all in this together, remember?”
“Then why am I the only one who feels trapped by it?” Kate asked, near tears. “Why am I the only one who has to deal with this stuff? I thought this year was going to be fun. But you guys all get to have lunch together while I watch Sherrie chew her stupid carrot sticks. Annie gets to be the assistant editor of the paper. You get to do your music and creative writing. Sasha gets to be in drama club. I don’t even get to play basketball. Oh, and my boyfriend has pretty much dumped me. Let’s not forget that. Why is it all happening to me?”
Her friends looked at her for a moment as she fought back tears. Then Annie spoke. “You’re not the only one things are happening to,” she said softly. “We’ve all had our share of challenges. You know that.”
“I know,” Kate said, wiping her eyes. “But it feels like that right now. All kinds of good things are happening for you guys and I just keep having problem after problem dumped on me.”
“Actually, it’s just one big problem in different forms,” Cooper told her.
“That doesn’t make it any easier,” replied Kate. “And it doesn’t help me figure out how to solve it.”
“I think you know how,” said Cooper.
“I know what you think I should do,” Kate replied. “But I don’t appreciate being forced to do it just because you want to wear that necklace.”
“Hey,” Cooper said. “I told you I wouldn’t hide who I am for anyone. I’m wearing this because it’s important to me. If other people have a problem with it, let them talk to me about it. You could have told Jessica and Tara to ask me for themselves.”
“But then you would have told them!” said Kate.
Cooper nodded. “That’s right,” she said. “And they would have learned something.”
“Did you tell Annie’s boyfriend what it means?” she asked.
Cooper looked down. “No,” she admitted. “I told him it was a good luck charm.”
“Then why can’t I just tell people the same thing?” Kate asked. “Why doesn’t Annie have to tell Brian about what she’s doing but I have to tell everyone?”
“I haven’t told Brian yet because I haven’t known him very long,” Annie said. “I want him to know me better first. But you’ve known your friends since you were like infants or something. They already know you as a person. The same with your parents.”
“I don’t think that will make it any easier,” said Kate.
Sasha hadn’t said a word throughout the entire discussion. Now she cleared her throat and spoke. “Kate, do you remember when you first confronted me about being a runaway?” she asked.
“How could I forget?” answered Kate. “You ran out of that diner so fast I thought you were in the Olympic trials.”
Sasha smiled. “I ran away because I was embarrassed,” she said. “I didn’t know what you would think of me, and I was afraid that you would reject me.”
“But I didn’t,” Kate said.
“Right,” said Sasha. “But I had to give you that chance, didn’t I? If I had just gone on hiding it from you, you might never have found out. Then I would probably have skipped town when things got too hard, and I’d still be running.”
“What are you saying?” Kate asked her.
“I’m saying that sometimes you have to give other people a chance,” said Sasha. “Jessica and Tara might be more understanding than you think.”
“Maybe,” Kate admitted. “But I know my parents won’t be. I just know it.”
“So start small,” said Annie. “Tell Jessica and Tara. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it or anything. Just tell them you’re taking the class. They don’t have to know everything.”
“But they just started speaking to me again,” Kate protested. “What if they cut me off like before?”
“Then you won’t be any worse off than you were then,” Cooper told her. “Would you rather have them not knowing the real you?”
“Yes,” said Kate frankly. “And that still doesn’t solve the problem of class being on the same night as some of our games,” she added.
“Can’t help you there,” Annie said. “But let’s take things one step at a time.”
“You sound like this is a group project,” Kate sai
d. “I’m the one who has to take the steps.”
“Yes,” said Annie, sitting on the bed and putting her arm around her friend. “But we’ll be right behind you.”
“Gee, thanks,” Kate said, leaning her head on Annie’s shoulder. “Can I come live with you when my parents throw me out of the house?”
“Sure,” said Annie. “But you’ll have to bunk with Meg. I’m not sharing my room.”
CHAPTER 5
Cooper looked at the slip of paper in her hand. Ms. Carter had handed it to her a few minutes earlier, when Cooper had arrived at her creative writing class. It was a request from the principal, Mrs. Browning, for Cooper to come see her. As Cooper walked to the main office she tried to imagine what the principal wanted. Had something terrible happened to one of her parents? She prayed that wasn’t the case. But why else would Mrs. Browning call her out of class in the middle of the day to talk to her?
She pushed open the office door and went in. Mrs. Browning’s assistant, a tall nervous man named Ethan Mathers, was sitting behind his desk shuffling some papers around noisily. When he saw Cooper standing in front of him he smiled weakly. Cooper handed him the slip, and he looked at it carefully.
“Just one minute,” he said. “I’ll let her know you’re here.” He picked up his phone, punched a button, and a moment later said into the receiver, “Cooper Rivers is here.” When he hung up he nodded toward the closed door of the principal’s office. “Go on in.”
Cooper went to the door and turned the knob, pushing the door open slowly. She looked inside and saw Mrs. Browning seated behind a large mahogany desk. She was looking at something on a computer screen. When she saw Cooper she smiled. “Come in,” she said cheerfully. “I’ll be right with you.”
Cooper stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. The tone of the principal’s voice made her feel less nervous. If it was bad news, she wouldn’t have sounded so cheerful, she thought as she sat down in one of the two chairs positioned in front of the desk.
Principal Browning clicked away at her keyboard for a moment more and then turned to look at Cooper. “Budgets,” she said, sounding weary. “Every year everybody wants more money and there’s less to go around. If this keeps up we’ll be having bake sales every day.”
Cooper smiled. She’d always liked Mrs. Browning, who in spite of her position always seemed to maintain a sense of humor.
“I guess you’re wondering why I called you in here,” the principal said.
Cooper nodded. “I thought someone had died,” she said.
Mrs. Browning laughed. “No,” she said. “At least not yet. But we still have two more periods to go.”
“So what is it, then?” asked Cooper.
The principal sighed. “Mrs. Greeley came to see me today,” she said.
“Mrs. Greeley?” Cooper repeated. “About what?”
“About you,” Principal Browning replied.
“Me?” said Cooper, confused. “What about me? What did I do, I mean besides try to stay awake in her class?”
Almost immediately she realized that what she’d said wasn’t very polite. She started to apologize but then saw that Mrs. Browning was suppressing a smile.
“I know Hazel’s style can be a little daunting,” the principal said diplomatically. “But no, that’s not why she came to see me. She’s concerned about you.”
Cooper shook her head. “I still don’t get it,” she said. “I go to class. I don’t nap during her lectures. What’s to worry about?”
The principal leaned back in her chair. “Actually, it’s that necklace you’re wearing,” she said.
“My necklace?” exclaimed Cooper. “What about it?” She was now even more confused than when she’d first gotten the summons to Mrs. Browning’s office.
Principal Browning looked at the pentacle that Cooper had instinctively reached up to touch. “Do you know what that is?” she asked.
Cooper nodded. “Of course I do,” she said.
The principal folded her hands on her desk. “Over the summer a number of the teachers took a class,” she said slowly. “It was a program designed to help educators identify students who might be—” She paused, as if searching for the right word.
“Might be what?” Cooper asked warily.
“Who might be having personal problems or who might be potential threats to the other students,” Mrs. Browning said, sighing.
“But—” Cooper said, immediately jumping to her own defense.
The principal held up her hand. “I know,” she said. “I don’t think you’re any kind of threat to anyone. You’re one of the brightest and most creative students here.”
Cooper looked at her, confused. Principal Browning had always been kind to her, but she’d never said such nice things before. Why was she saying them now?
The principal looked at Cooper. “I don’t have to tell you that high schools in this country aren’t always the safest places to be,” she said.
“Sure,” Cooper said, shrugging her shoulders. “But I still don’t get what any of this has to do with me and my necklace.”
“One of the things that a lot of troubled teenagers have in common is an interest in Satanism and the occult,” Mrs. Browning told her.
Cooper snorted. “Now I get it,” she said. “Mrs. Greeley thinks I’m going to come in and waste the entire class because of my necklace.”
“One of the signs we learned about in the course we took was the pentagram,” the principal said. “When Mrs. Greeley saw you wearing one she became concerned.”
“That’s because she has no idea what it really is!” Cooper protested. “It’s not Satanic! It’s perfectly harmless!”
“Maybe so,” Mrs. Browning said calmly. “But the fact is that people associate it with things that aren’t harmless.”
“That’s because they’re ignorant,” said Cooper angrily.
The principal looked at her darkly. “You know better than that,” she said. “Just because you understand what it means doesn’t mean everyone else does. And you know that there are people who associate that symbol with things that are potentially dangerous.”
“But I don’t,” Cooper said. “You know I’m not going to come in here and shoot the place up, so everyone can just stop worrying about me.”
“It’s not you we’re worried about,” explained Principal Browning. “It’s the other students. We don’t want them to feel uncomfortable.”
“Oh, no, we wouldn’t want to do that,” Cooper replied sarcastically. “Goddess forbid they have to learn something or expand their horizons.”
“That’s not helping,” the principal said.
“Sorry,” Cooper said. “But I don’t see why I have to be singled out because other people have ridiculous ideas about what a pentagram means.”
“I understand that,” Mrs. Browning replied. “I really do. But I also have to worry about the other six hundred and forty-two students in this school. If they feel threatened then they come to me, and I have to deal with it.”
“Does anyone feel threatened by my necklace?” asked Cooper.
“Actually, yes,” the principal answered.
“Who?” asked Cooper, genuinely surprised.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” Mrs. Browning said. “But several people in addition to Mrs. Greeley have come to see me about this.”
Cooper didn’t say anything for a minute. She sat in her chair, looking at Principal Browning and wondering who else might have complained about her necklace. Whoever they were, she wished she could find them and give them a piece of her mind.
“I want you to do me a favor,” the principal said.
“Which is?” Cooper asked sullenly.
“Stop wearing that pentagram,” she said.
“It’s called a pentacle,” Cooper said. “A pentagram is when you dr
aw it on something. A pentacle is when it’s in physical form.”
Mrs. Browning smiled slightly. “Thanks for clearing that up,” she said. “Will you stop wearing the pentacle?”
Cooper stared at her, not knowing what to say. Her mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts and feelings. She liked Mrs. Browning, but the principal was asking her to do something she didn’t want to do. She couldn’t see any reason why she should stop wearing the pentacle. It wasn’t hurting anyone. Just because a few people didn’t understand what it meant shouldn’t mean that she shouldn’t be allowed to wear it. That was like giving in, something she hated doing.
“I’ll think about it,” she said finally.
Mrs. Browning took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “But don’t think too long. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t show up tomorrow wearing it.”
“Like I said, I’ll think about it,” Cooper repeated. “Can I go now?”
The principal nodded and Cooper stood up. As Cooper reached for the door, Principal Browning said, “Cooper.”
Cooper turned and waited for the principal to speak.
“Compromising isn’t the same as abandoning your principles,” Mrs. Browning said.
Cooper gave a little laugh, but it wasn’t a happy one. “That’s funny,” she said. “I said almost the same thing to my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago.”
“Then you understand what I’m saying,” Mrs. Browning replied.
“I understand it,” answered Cooper. “I’m just not sure I believe it this time.”
She left the office and walked into the hallway. She was angry, and she wasn’t sure where she was going. She didn’t want to go back to class. She was too upset to concentrate on writing anything. Besides, there were only fifteen minutes left in the period anyway. There was no point in going back.
She stormed through the hallways, trying to think of who might have gone to Mrs. Browning about her. She wasn’t surprised that Mrs. Greeley would do such a thing, but other students? Who would possibly think that she was a potential threat? And who would go to the trouble of actually reporting her to the principal?
