“So, you guys are an item now, or what?”
I turn towards the voice and see Mary leaning on her hip with her head tilted to the side. She licks her lips slowly and raises an eyebrow. I shrug.
“I’m not sure what we are.”
Mary narrows her eyes and smiles at me. The smile doesn’t seem to change her face at all except for her lips, giving her an eery sort of expression. “Hey, Owen, I think there was a problem with my last pay check. Do you mind if we have a look at it?”
Is she pouting right now? Is that supposed to be cute?
“How about tomorrow,” I answer, shifting my gaze towards the party.
“I’d really rather sort it out now,” she says. I glance at her and sigh. I’m not going to get rid of her until that’s done.
“Alright,” I say, gesturing towards the office. “Let’s go in here and have a look.”
She smiles the same way and nods before turning around and swaying her way towards the office. If she wasn’t so good behind the bar, I’d have let her go a long time ago.
Chapter 49 - Jess
“Thank you, honey. You get back over there now,” Gram says as I help her up the stairs. I can almost feel her tiredness as she moves slowly, dragging one foot forward after the next.
I say nothing, instead I just help her towards her bedroom. I help her take off her jacket and put her jewellery away while she goes to the bathroom and changes into her dressing gown. She comes back out and sits on the bed, letting out a big sigh. Finally, she shifts her gaze up to me and smiles.
“He likes you, you know.”
“Who?” I ask, pretending to be confused. Gram chuckles.
“Mr. McAllister. Remember what I said before, Jessica. Some things are worth fighting for. He’s a nice man.”
“You’re just worried I’ll end up all alone,” I laugh as I help her back into bed. Gram chuckles softly and lays her head on the pillow.
“I’m worried you’ll end up unhappy.” A lump forms in my throat and Gram takes my hand. “I’m proud of you, Jess. Always have been. You’ve turned out to be an independent, intelligent young woman and I couldn’t ask for a better granddaughter. You’ll make a wonderful mother one day.”
I still cant speak and Gram smiles. In another breath she’s asleep and I tiptoe out the door. It’s a quiet drive back as I think about Gram’s words. These past couple days she’s been saying a lot of things to me about happiness and love. What is she trying to say, really? What would she say if she knew I was pregnant?
Maybe happiness is possible for me, and she sees me trying to push it away. Maybe I should just trust Owen, and trust that he wants to be with me and he wants this baby. Maybe I should let myself go and let my walls down and let him in. By the time I get back to the Lex, the party is in full swing. It’s almost too loud after the silence of Gram’s house.
I scan the room, looking for Owen. My heart feels light as I walk around.
I’m ready.
For the first time in my life, I’m ready to let happiness in. I’m ready to trust Owen and to open up to him and let him in. I’m ready to hear his story and I’m ready to accept that he’s not a criminal. Maybe it is possible that he’s as wonderful and caring as he seems. I’m ready to fall in love with him.
My thoughts surprise me. After spending all day trying to force my lips to curl upwards, now I can’t seem to stop smiling.
“Jess!”
I turn to see Michael walking towards me. The lightness in my heart feels dampened as soon as I see him. He offers me a beer and I shake my head.
“Thanks, not tonight,” I say.
He nods and takes a sip of his own beer. He glances at the floor and then back up at me. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything, so I start.
“So, you and Mary, hey?”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “We’ve known each other for years and it just made sense.”
Doesn’t make sense to me.
“That’s great, Michael, I’m happy for you. Now if you’ll excuse me -“
“Wait, Jess,” he says, holding his hand out. I pause, turning back towards him. His eyes plead with me and he continues. “I just wanted to apologise. The way I treated you, leaving you after you.. you know.”
“Got pregnant.”
“Right. Got pregnant. It was wrong.”
I nod. “Ok. Thanks.”
I shakes his head. “I mean, I’m sorry. I was a dumb kid. I freaked out and I left and I should have been there for you.”
“What about shaking up with Mary two weeks after we found out I was pregnant? Was that just you ‘freaking out’?” I hate the bitterness in my voice but I can’t help it. His face contorts and he looks away. Finally, he swings his eyes back towards me.
“I’m sorry,” he says again.
I realise my shoulders are tense and I relax them. I force my face to relax and I nod, and finally smile. I don’t need to hold on to this anger. It’s in the past. As I look at the guilt in Michael’s face, I finally let go of it all.
“Thank you,” I finally say. “It’s ok. We were kids. It’s probably for the best now.”
Michael glances up at me hopefully, and when he sees the sincerity in my eyes he starts to smile. “Really?”
“Really. Water under the bridge.”
His smile widens and I grin before sweeping he room with another look. “Thank you for apologising. Hey, have you seen Owen?”
“No. I’ve been looking for Mary too, I saw her talking to him but I haven’t seen either of them in ages.”
I frown and glance back at him. He shrugs and takes a sip of beer. My heart starts pounding and I glance at the bar and back around the room. There’s no sign of him or Mary. Finally my eyes rest of the office door and my heart starts thumping even harder.
“In there,” I manage to croak, nodding towards the door. Michael shrugs and I start walking towards the closed door. I don’t understand why I’m suddenly nervous, but every step makes my whole body tremble a little bit more, and pretty soon all I can hear is the heartbeat rushing through my ears and all I can see is that closed door.
Chapter 50 - Owen
“I don’t see anything wrong with this pay check, Mary,” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “Here are the hours you’ve worked, here’s the schedule. We’ve cross-checked everything.”
Mary sits on the desk and leans against her palms, dangling her feet in front of her. She pushes her chest out and looks me up and down.
“I must have made a mistake,” she purrs.
I try not to roll my eyes. “Ok, well, next time just double check before you ask me about it, ok? I should get back outside.” Jess will be back any minute and I don’t want to waste any more time in here with you.
“What’s the rush?” She asks as she slides off the desk. She moves her hands to the arms of the chair and leans towards me. “It’s so loud out there, and it’s so quiet in here.”
“What are you doing,” I say, looking away from her. “Stop, Mary, get off me.”
She moves her hand to my cheek and before I know what’s happening her face is coming towards mine. Before her lips can touch mine I put my hand between us and push her face back until she stumbles backwards. I jump up and away as she yelps. There’s another noise, like a gasp at the doorway. I see a hint of movement and turn my head to see Mary’s fiancé in the doorway. He’s wide-eyed, staring at Mary as she gains her footing and follows my gaze to the door.
“He came onto me! He pushed himself on me!” She yells, pointing her finger at me. I make a gargled noise as I try to protest.
Michaels’ face is dark as he continues to stare at her. Finally he turns slowly and walks towards the exit. Mary rushes after him, still yelling lies about me. I rub my forehead and get up slowly, following them out the office. They’ve carved a path through the crowd, with Mary still yelling as Michael walks away.
I look a bit further just to se
e Jess in the doorway. She’s glancing over her shoulder and our eyes meet for a second. In them I see pain and betrayal, and my stomach drops as I realise that the movement I saw in the doorway wasn’t Michael, it was her. She ducks out the door and disappears.
Suddenly I’m sprinting. I’m pushing people aside as I try to make my way to the exit. It seems like there are people everywhere - legs, arms, bodies, it’s like moving through molasses.
“Wait! Jess!”
The whole wedding has stopped and people are staring first at Mary and Michael, and then at me as I try to run towards the exit. I finally break free from the crowd and run out the door and down the steps. Jess is running down the street towards her car as fast as her heels will take her and I sprint to speed up.
I get to her car just as she’s turning on the ignition and I throw myself in front of it.
“Jess, stop! Stop!”
There are tears streaming down her face and her makeup is running in black streaks down her cheeks.
“Get out of the way!” She yells. She leans on the horn but I put my hands on the hood of her car. “Move!”
“Jess! It’s not what it looks like, I swear!” I hate how pathetic of an excuse that is. I hate seeing her hurt. I hate thinking that I’m the source of those tears. “Jess,” I plead.
She honks the horn again until I break and move out of the way. I watch her drive down the street and turn off.
My heart is thumping. My breath is ragged.
“FUCK!” I yell, kicking a nearby light pole. Pain explodes in my foot and shoots up through my leg and I wince. I look back towards the hotel and see a million curious eyes looking out at me. “What the fuck are you looking at!”
Some of the eyes turn away but most of them keep staring. I turn away and start hopping and limping back towards my truck as fast as I can. Every step sends pain through my leg. I’ve probably broken my fucking toe.
I get in my truck and rev it up, following the path that Jess took towards her grandmother’s house. I try to slow my breath down and think of what I’ll say to her.
I’m desperate. I have to make her understand that I didn’t want Mary to kiss me. I didn’t even want to be in the office with her in the first place!
My heart sinks when I think about it. I was in the office, and I don’t even know if Jess saw me push Mary off me. How can I make her understand that I haven’t even looked at another woman since I met her? No one matters except her. No one exists except her!
She’s the woman I want. I’m made for her, and she’s made for me. She’s the mother of my child. I can’t let her slip away and I can’t ignore what I’ve been feeling for the past two months.
She’s the love of my life.
Chapter 51 - Jess
I thought my heart was crushed when I found out Owen hadn’t told me about his past. I thought I was heartbroken when I didn’t speak to him for two months, and I thought it was ripped out of my chest and stomped on when it looked like he didn’t want the baby.
It wasn’t.
This is what heartbreak feels like.
It’s physical, I understand that now. Heartbreak is physical pain. It’s an ax splitting my chest in half. It’s my stomach squeezing so tight that I feel like I’m going to throw up. It’s a throbbing in my temples that feels like my head is going to explode.
My whole body feels as tight as a guitar string, like any movement could snap me in half. I pull the car in front of Gram’s house and kill the engine, still sobbing into the steering wheel.
The house is dark, and I reach into my purse for a tissue. I use the rearview mirror to wipe my face and clean the streaks of mascara off my cheeks. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to tiptoe upstairs.
I can’t let Gram see me like this.
Just as I open the car door and get out, I hear a familiar engine coming down the road. Owen stops his truck with a screech in the middle of the street and jumps out, leaving the engine running and the door wide open.
“Leave me alone,” I say. My voice is unsteady and I wish it sounded more forceful.
“Jess, please,” Owen says. His eyebrows are knitted together and he takes a step towards me, palms outstretched. “Please just listen to what I have to say.”
“Why! Why would I listen to you! One minute you’re telling me that you care about me, that you care about the baby and you want to see if we have a future together, and then I turn my back for one minute. No! I don’t turn my back, I help my grandmother get into bed and you’ve run off with Mary. Fucking. Hanson.”
“I didn’t run off with anyone, Jess, please. I pushed her off me. The kiss surprised me. I didn’t want it!”
“But you did it.”
He inhales deeply. It looks like he’s about to cry and I look away.
“Jess,” he says softly. “I pushed her off. I never kissed her.”
I snort. “You know,” I start. “The first time I got pregnant by accident, and then the guy I was seeing ran off with Mary, I thought my life was over. This time, I don’t know what to think. I think I should laugh but I don’t have the energy right now.”
“Wait, what? Did… you said he left. He left you for Mary? Is that why you hate her so much?”
“Fuck you, Owen.” I turn towards the house and I hear him come towards me.
“Jess, please, please listen. I pushed her off. I grabbed her face and pushed her backwards. I didn’t want to be there with her.”
I pause and look back at him. “You.. grabbed her face?”
He holds up his palm, fingers spread wide, and extends his arms slowly as if he’s pushing a door open. I frown slowly as he drops his arm. He chews his lip and shrugs.
“I didn’t know what to do,” he says. “I panicked.”
I stare at him for a few seconds until finally he drops his gaze and kicks my car’s tire. Suddenly he’s doubled over in pain, grabbing his leg with both hands.
“Fuck!” He yells.
“What!” I say, taking a step towards him. “What’s going on? Are you ok?”
“I kicked a fucking light pole when you drove off,” he says, wincing as he looks back up at me. “I think I broke my toe.”
There’s a pause, and then the ridiculousness of the situation starts to get to me. I think about Owen pushing Mary’s face away, and the half-embarrassed, half-pained expression on his face as he looks up at me. The laughter starts bubbling up inside me. It starts in my stomach as my shoulders relax down and suddenly I’m doubled over, leaning on the hood of my car as the peals of laughter spill out of me. Owen sits on the car and laughs, looking over at me and shaking his head.
“You are an idiot,” I say when I can finally speak again.
“I know,” he responds. He sighs and then looks at me with eyes wide. “Come on, Jess, you’re the one that I want. You and that baby,” he says, looking down at my stomach.
I smile and slide in beside him. “How’s the toe,” I ask gently, resting my head on his shoulder.
He snorts. “It hurts. Like, a lot.”
“I bet. Come on, get in here. Let me get you some ice,” I say, hopping past him to turn off his truck, close the door and then extend my hand towards him.
The instant my arm is wrapped around his waist my whole body feels like it’s melting. All the tension that has gripped me ever since I found out I was pregnant disappears. He puts his arm around my shoulder and we slowly limp up the pathway towards the house.
“So when you say grabbed her by the face…” I say as I open the front door.
Owen chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Whoever said chivalry was dead was out of their mind.”
I laugh and squeeze my arm around his waist a bit tighter. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll get you some ice.”
Chapter 52 - Owen
I don’t even feel my toe anymore. All I feel is Jess’s body next to mine and her arm wrapped around my waist as she helps me into a chair at
the kitchen table. She pulls up another chair beside me speaks quietly.
“Get your leg up,” she says, motioning to the chair. “I’ll get some ice.”
I watch her work as she pulls the freezer door open. “Ah!” She says as she takes out a bag of frozen peas and holds them up triumphantly. “Perfect.”
She slips my shoe off and slowly peels off my sock. I wince. My foot is already black and blue, and my big toe is incredibly swollen. Jess whistles.
“Ouch,” she says and I groan. “You should go to the hospital tomorrow morning.”
“Sounds like torture,” I say, thinking of long hours in a hospital waiting room. “What would they even do? They wouldn’t give me a cast, would they? Don’t toes just heal on their own?”
“They’d take an x-ray and make sure it was broken,” she says as she puts the peas under my foot and starts wrapping a bandage around it. “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. They’d give you crutches, probably.”
Once the foot is wrapped, I sit back and close my eyes. The frozen peas are helping to dull the ache. Jess moves behind me and slides her hands onto my shoulders. I groan as she starts massaging them slowly, working her way across my shoulders and up into my scalp.
“That’s so nice,” I say in a low voice. My cock starts to pulse, even with her just touching my shoulders. She’s close enough that I can smell her perfume and I can feel the heat of her body near my head. I groan again.
She rubs my shoulders softly for a second and then gives me a light squeeze. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s get you home. I’ll drive your truck back.”
Her words surprise me but I nod quickly. Of course she’d want me to leave. What did I think was going to happen at her grandmother’s place? I swing my leg off the chair and she helps me to my feet. The bag of peas is firmly strapped to the bottom of my foot. She slips a pair of flip-flops on as we walk out the front door and I hop on one foot beside her. I try not to put too much weight down on her slight body but she squeezes me close and supports me as I walk.
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