by Beth Ehemann
“No way,” Kacie shook her head with a laugh. “It’s a candle. I hardly cook at all when Brody’s out of town. I’m the worst.”
“I hardly cook when Viper’s in town. I’m the worst.”
We both laughed as I sat down at the kitchen table, letting Maura loose on the floor. She immediately waddled over and plopped down next to their black lab named Diesel, who was sleeping quietly. “She’s okay over there, right?”
“Oh yeah,” Kacie nodded. “He’s the most gentle creature you’ve ever met in your whole life. If living with these four crazy girls hasn’t made him snap yet, I’m pretty sure nothing will. Plus, he’s in his happy place.”
Without saying anything, I tilted my head to the side, not sure what she meant.
“He’s lying on top of the air conditioning vent,” she added.
I let out another quick laugh as she turned and headed up the stairs. “I’m gonna lay her down real quick. Be right back.”
The floor above my head creaked as she walked across the second floor to Grace’s bedroom.
“Momma. Goggie!” Maura said excitedly.
“I know.” I grinned at her. “Is that a doggie?”
Her little head bobbed up and down as she looked back at Diesel, who’d opened one eye and was watching her cautiously.
A couple seconds later, Kacie came back down the stairs with the baby monitor in her hand. “Okay,” she said with a big sigh. “What can I get you to drink? I have water, sweet tea, pink lemonade . . .”
“I would love a glass of pink lemonade, actually.”
“Coming right up.” She took a pretty aqua glass out of the cabinet and set it on the island. “Okay, so let’s get to it. How are you really?”
“I’m good,” I answered.
She stopped pouring and glanced at me skeptically, raising one eyebrow.
“I promise I am,” I reassured through a chuckle. “I mean, I’m not sure what day it is, but I’m good.”
“You have a lot going on right now, Michelle.”
“I know, but I love Gam so I don’t mind.”
She set the glass down in front of me. “I know that, but just because you love someone doesn’t mean taking care of them isn’t exhausting.”
“I’m definitely exhausted, I’ll give you that. But it’s nothing I can’t handle yet.” I didn’t really want to talk about Gam and my exhaustion any more. It just made me more tired. “So what’s going on over here with you guys? We didn’t get to talk long the other day.”
“Not much.” She shrugged her shoulders as she sat down across from me with her own glass of pink lemonade. “Just settling back into our routine of having Brody gone half the time. That’s always an adjustment.”
“I’ll drink to that.” I raised my glass before taking a big gulp of the tart juice.
“And every year I feel bad. As summer ends, he gets so excited to start a new season, but for me it’s bittersweet because that means he’s going to be gone . . . a lot.”
“Same here.” I nodded.
“And lately he’s been hinting to maybe wanting another baby, and honestly . . .” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head, staring outside.
“Are you really thinking about it?”
“I don’t know. Part of me would love to try and see if I can give him a son, but then I think maybe we’re just meant to have four girls.” She looked back at me and stuck her bottom lip out dramatically. “My uterus is tired.”
I tossed my head back and let out a loud laugh. “I can only imagine.”
“What about you guys?”
My laugh stopped like someone turned it off with a light switch. “What about us?”
“I don’t know. Marriage, mini-Vipers . . . any of that on the horizon?”
I swallowed hard, wanting so desperately to be honest with Kacie about how I really felt about all of that, but decided it wasn’t the right time. “I have no idea. He’s not exactly the marrying type, ya know?”
“He wasn’t until he met you.”
“I’m still not sure, but who knows. I guess stranger things have happened, right?”
“Stranger things have happened. Like me catching Brody loading the dishwasher last week. If that can happen without me even asking, I’m pretty sure nothing is impossible.”
I let out a quick laugh. “Hey, I meant to ask you. Have you talked to Darla lately?”
“I have, actually. Her and Neil are settled into their apartment and she says it’s perfect. She starts her new job next week.”
“Good,” I said with a nod. “I miss her.”
“Me, too.” Kacie’s mouth turned down.
We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about everything and nothing while the kids splashed in the lake and built sandcastles on the shore. Those couple of hours with her felt like my soul had plugged itself in for a recharge of epic proportions. I didn’t even know I needed that afternoon, but it was completely refreshing.
As the sun was starting to set, I was sad to start packing up the kids to leave.
“You know”—Kacie craned her neck to see the clock—“their game starts in about half an hour. Wanna give the kids a bath, throw them in some pajamas, and they can play while we watch the game? Maybe order pizza and sleep here?”
My need to go home and catch up on laundry was quickly trumped by my need to have a sleepover at Kacie’s house with all the kids.
“That sounds awesome, just let me check in with Gam. If she needs me, I’m gonna have to go.” I fished my phone out of my bag. “I’ll be right back.”
I stepped into the other room and dialed Gam’s number.
The phone rang . . . and rang . . . and rang. My heart started pounding faster as horrific scenarios zipped around my brain.
Finally she answered. “Hello?” she said through a laugh.
“What are you doing?” The words rushed out of my mouth in a scolding tone.
“Are you okay? Why do you sound like that?”
I took a shaky breath. “I was just scared because you took so long to answer.”
“Michelle, I just had hip surgery. I’m not quite marathon ready just yet,” she answered sarcastically.
“I know that. Anyway, what are you guys doing? Do you need anything?”
“Nope. We had lunch and Regina’s daughter brought some of her old home movies over, so we watched those and have pretty much been laughing all afternoon. I think we’re gonna have dinner and as soon as they leave, I’m hitting the sack. I’m beat.”
“Are you sure you don’t need anything tonight?”
“I’m fine. What are you up to?”
“I actually drove out to Kacie’s. The kids have been swimming in the lake, building sandcastles, and eating more junk food than I thought humanly possible.”
“I bet they’re having a blast. You’re a good mom, Michelle.”
Her words were the cherry on top of my afternoon sundae. Having no family of my own was as tough for me as it was for Viper, which was why I clung so tightly to Gam. Every mom thinks at some point in their children’s life that they’re screwing them up royally and doing every single thing wrong, but having someone there to give you a hug and tell you that you’re doing a good job makes all that self doubt just disappear.
“Thanks, Gam. That means a lot . . . especially today.”
“Anytime you need to hear it, honey, you just call me.”
We talked for another minute and I told her I’d call first thing in the morning.
I walked back into the kitchen and Kacie had her cell phone pinched between her ear and her shoulder, with Grace and Maura in each arm, balancing on her hips.
“Okay, thanks,” she said into the phone before strategically dropping it into her open hand. Her eyes met with mine. “Sorry, I was snooping and could tell you’re staying and I’m starving so I ordered dinner.”
“With two children in your hands? You really are Supermom.”
“I had twins, remember?” she laughed.
>
Before the pizza came, we quickly bathed the lake water, sand, and sunscreen off the kids and put them in clean jammies. Again, not cleaning out my car came in handy because I still had a clean pair for both kids in my overnight bag for Gam’s. The doorbell rang just as I finished brushing Maura’s curly blond hair. We set the kids down around the table and starting cutting pizza and passing out plates like we were feeding hungry animals at the zoo. Once the kids all had pizza, apple slices, and milk in front of them, Kacie and I finally made our own plates.
“Ooooh, the game is starting!” Kacie mumbled through a mouthful of pizza. She grabbed the remote off the coffee table and found the game on TV. They were zoomed in on Brody’s face as he took a few chugs of water from the Gatorade water bottle on his net. Kacie beamed with pride as the announcers talked about how he’d had three shutouts in a row and the team was looking really good early on in the season.
“Maybe this is our year?” she said with a shrug.
“That would be awesome, wouldn’t it?” I added.
Lucy, Piper, Matthew, and Emma ate fast and scampered off to play Ping-Pong in the basement while Grace and Maura toddled around the family room, chewing on everything they could get their hands on.
“Want a glass of wine?” Kacie asked as she put the last of the pizza in the fridge.
“Um . . . nah. I’ve been fighting a headache all day and that would just make it worse.”
Kacie nodded and filled her wine glass with Riesling. She grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and balanced the drinks carefully in her hands as she stepped over our makeshift baby gate of pillows and an ottoman.
“Thanks.” I took the bottle from her, ready to relax and watch our boys play. The second period was just starting and the Wild were already up 2—0.
I didn’t think the day could get much better.
Kacie plopped down roughly, giggling when she spilled a little wine down the front of her shirt. “Oh well.” She shrugged and took another sip.
“Thanks for tonight, Kacie. You have no idea how much I needed this.”
“Oh my goodness, don’t mention it. It’s been so fun. I think this should be our new road trip tradition.”
“I’ll drink to that,” I said as I held my water up in the air. She grinned and immediately leaned over, touching her glass with my bottle.
We relaxed back into her oversized couch happily, while our babies played and boys kicked ass on TV.
Just before the second period was ending, there was a breakaway play and Viper was all alone, dribbling the puck down the ice toward the goal. Kacie and I both sat forward in our seats, praying for another Wild goal. He skated along the boards, nearing the goalie, when out of nowhere Ricky Young from the St. Louis Blues barreled into him, sending him crashing into the glass.
“Holy shit!” I jumped up and covered my mouth.
Hard hits were nothing new in hockey, but that one was brutal, and it was obvious by the way his body flew that Viper had no idea Ricky was even near him.
“He’s okay. He’s totally fine,” Kacie tried to reassure me, taking a step closer as she put her hand on my arm.
But . . . he wasn’t okay.
Within a couple of seconds, the station cut to a commercial break and fear exploded inside of my chest.
Not again. Oh God, please not again.
“Fuck!” I rolled around on the ice, trying desperately to give my knee some relief. Any relief. The burning sensation was overwhelming. Within seconds, half of the team and the ref stood over me.
“You okay?” a bunch of them called out and a few knelt down next to me, but I was in too much pain to answer.
Within seconds Pete, our trainer, was by my side.
“What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“My knee. I hit the board and felt a huge fucking pop,” I growled.
“Your knee actually hit the wall?”
“No,” I shook my head. “My leg was straight but that leg went straight into the wall.”
His eyes widened and he quickly wiped sweat from his brow. “Okay, we have to get you off the ice.”
The look on his face ignited a fear inside of me that spread like wildfire through my body, every nerve prickling with anxiety.
“Okay,” I answered gruffly, trying to stand.
“Wait, wait. Just wait. I need you to move slow and not put any pressure on that leg. Got it? No pressure.”
I nodded, grimacing as I tried to stand. Once I was upright, the audience started clapping. Ignoring the pain the best I could, I took off one of my gloves and gave them a thumbs-up. The clapping grew into a thunderous roar that shook the whole building. Choked up that they cared more about me than the away jersey I was wearing, I gave another wave as I slung one arm around Pete’s neck and the other around my teammate Rex Craig’s. They skated slowly off the ice and I was careful to keep my right leg just above the ice, practically dangling along behind me. As I got to the doorway of the bench, one of Pete’s men stood waiting for me with a wheelchair.
“Seriously?” I groaned toward Pete.
“Shut up and sit,” he answered without looking back at me.
With Pete’s hand tucked under my armpit, I carefully turned and sat in the wheelchair. He quickly unlocked the wheels and hurried back to the small medical clinic within the arena. Dr. Houston, the St. Louis Blues team doctor, was already in the room waiting for us.
“Do you need help lifting him?” he asked as Pete wheeled me over to the exam table.
“No, I’m fine,” I answered before Pete could.
Pete’s eyes slid from the doc’s to mine and back again. “This one is a live wire. I can handle him. If you don’t mind, I’m also going to be the one to examine him.”
“Of course,” he said with a nod as he took a step back and folded his hands in front of him. “I do have to stay in the room because of liability, but do your thing.”
The next several minutes consisted of Pete doing an assessment of my knee, asking things like “Does this hurt here? What about here? How about now?” as he touched different places. Some of the movements made me cringe in pain. Others didn’t hurt at all. His eyes darted up and down my leg as his jaw clenched.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, not really sure I wanted to hear the answer.
His nostrils flared as he inhaled slowly, still looking at my leg. “It’s gonna swell fast. I wanna get an X-ray. Now.”
The enormous knot in my stomach hurt way worse than my knee, and the way Pete was avoiding eye contact with me didn’t help. He took his phone out of his pocket and stepped into the hallway.
Lying on that table, staring up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling, I took a slow, deep breath in through my nose and did something I hadn’t done in a very long time.
I prayed.
Hello, up there. It’s me, Viper . . . Lawrence . . . whatever. You and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, and I know I’ve done a lot of shi—stuff that has probably made you roll your eyes, but I’m desperate here. If you help me out, I promise to quit sending pictures of my junk to Michelle and no more Icy Hot in Brody’s underwear. In all seriousness, please, please, please do this for me. Hockey is my life. I’m nothing if I can’t play. I’m begging you to make this a minor little tweak and let me back on the ice in a day or two. I can’t not play hockey. I don’t know how. Amen.
“What are you looking at?”
My head snapped quickly to my right where Pete stood again, staring up at the ceiling. “Oh, sorry.” I cleared my throat. “I didn’t hear you come back in.”
“Obviously,” he said sarcastically. “Ambulance will be here in a minute. How are you feeling?”
“Nervous.”
“I can tell. You’ve never been injured on the ice before, have you?”
“Nothing major.” I shook my head. “A busted lip here and there, lots of stitches, but nothing like this.”
“This might be nothing major, too. Let’s wait and see what the X-ray shows, oka
y?”
I nodded but didn’t say anything.
“And while we wait, use this,” he said, handing me his phone.
“For what?”
“Trust me. I’ve been doing this a long time. There are people watching that game on TV who love you and are worried sick right now. Call them.”
Shit!
I was such an ass. Calling Michelle hadn’t even crossed my mind yet. I’d been so wrapped up with myself that I totally forgot that she might be freaking out. I quickly dialed her cell number as Pete and Dr. Houston stepped out of the room.
“Hello?” she answered quickly in a shaky voice, obviously not recognizing Pete’s number.
“Hey, baby. It’s me.”
“Viper!” she called out, her voice cracking. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”
“I’m okay. I got hit and slid into the wall. It’s my knee.”
“Is it broken?”
“No, I don’t think so. I can move it a little, but it hurts, so I’m gonna head to the hospital just so they can take a closer look.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” she squeaked out before soft sobs filled the phone.
“I’m sorry, honey.”
“It’s just that you got hit, then you slid into the boards. It was like Mike and—I couldn’t breathe,” she rushed out in between sobs.
“I know, baby. Where are you? Are you alone?”
There was shuffling for a second and then I heard another woman’s voice. “Hey, Viper. It’s Kacie.”
“Oh! Hey! Is she okay?”
“No, but she will be. Watching that obviously scared the crap out of her, but I think now that she’s talked to you, she’ll be better. I took the phone so she could get a drink of water and catch her breath for a minute.”
“Thanks. Are you at her house?”
“Nope, her and the kids came here to swim and hang out. They’re gonna sleep over, too.”
I nodded. “Okay, good. I was hoping that she wasn’t going to drive home tonight.”
“Nope, I got her. Hang on . . . here she is.”
Their low voices spoke to each other for a minute before she came back on the line. “Hi. Sorry.”
