by K. J. McPike
“Well, she did,” I said. “She made it to Alea, and they caught her, and now they’re guarding the transposer.” I watched his face for any type of softening that might suggest he would help us. All I saw was anger. “But you told me there are other transposers,” I went on. “If you direct us to one of them, we can get a guard’s necklace, and—”
Cade let out a harsh laugh. “You think you can steal a guard’s necklace? You’ll never even come close. You’re kids, semmies no less. They’ll kill you before you can blink.”
“Then come with us,” I urged. “Tell them you want your old position back like we talked about. We can go right now.”
“And how will I explain how I got there?” He gave me a hard look. “If they find out I’m working with semmies, they’ll kill me, too.”
“So tell them you met a full-blooded Astralis,” Lali suggested.
Cade didn’t even look at her. “Don’t you think they’ll ask who helped me? Even if they let me in, they’d never give me my old position without my ability. You’d know that, nephew, if you listened to me in the first place.”
I couldn’t back down. I’d spent the last few years doing everything I could to make myself as little of a burden as possible, but this was different. We were too close to give up now.
“Well, we’re going,” I insisted, trying to match the intensity in Cade’s eyes. “One way or another. I’m not giving up when we’re this close to getting Kala back. Now, are you going to help us or not?”
“Think about what you’re saying.” His arms flew out to grab me. “This is a suicide mission.”
“Let go of him!” Lali yelled as I pulled away from my uncle. For the first time, I didn’t feel guilty for standing up to him
Cade moved his enraged stare to Lali, and I tensed. “You,” he spat. “You don’t even know who you’re helping.”
“I know exactly who I’m helping.” She said it with so much more confidence than I deserved. The thought was like a hot poker to the gut.
“Oh, you don’t have a clue, little girl.” Cade gave her a condescending smile that made the scar along his cheek ripple. “But since you haven’t figured it out yet, let me give you a hint: my nephew has been lying to you this whole time.”
“Uncle Cade!” My heart threatened to explode. How could he just call me out like that?
Lali gaped at me, her face as white as it had been the day I’d followed her into the bathroom.
I tried to plead with my eyes. “Lali. I can explain.”
“Explain what?” Her head whipped between my uncle and me. “What’s going on?”
“Now you want to come clean, nephew?” Cade laughed, a challenge in his eyes as he looked at me. “Don’t you think she’d have wanted to know the truth earlier?”
No. He was going to out me all the way. He was going to tell Lali we had her mom, that I was the reason for all of her suffering the past few months. His sneer only confirmed it. “After all, you—”
I dove for Lali’s hand and projected straight to Lanai before he could finish. My fingers tightened around Lali’s as she blinked wildly. She must not have had time to close her eyes after I flashed out of there so fast.
Rage burned in my throat. I couldn’t believe Cade would do something like that. I knew he was angry, but he was straight up sabotaging me. I swallowed hard, watching Lali try to get her bearings. What was I going to tell her now? What could I admit to lying about without ruining my chance at getting her to finish what we started?
Chapter 48
Honesty
“You manipulative jerk!” Lali’s voice rang out over the sound of the ocean, killing my hope that bringing her to Lanai would remind her of the bond we now shared. After all the times I’d brought her here just to relax and catch her breath after she practiced permeating, she was looking at me like she was seeing me for who I really was for the first time. Maybe she was.
I’d told her as much of the truth as I could—how a group of Astralii trapped Cade’s astral energy, how my uncle and I had been trying to find them so we could undo the sink. Lali jumped to the conclusion that I’d kept it from her because I was secretly threatening people to get them to help. Even with the disgust in her eyes right now, I knew that was a better assumption than the truth.
I sighed, desperate to get her to understand. “Lali, didn’t you hear Cade? I haven’t been helping him follow up on any of the leads he’s found. I haven’t gone after anyone else since I got you on my side.”
“Then where did Delta come from?” she challenged.
I frowned. How did she— “You were spying on me?”
“Oh, you’re offended? How long did you spend spying on me?”
All I could do was grind my teeth.
“You have no right to be angry,” she went on ranting. “I’m not the one leading a double life. I’m not the one lying to the person risking her life to help me.”
“I never asked you to risk your life. That was your crazy scheme. All I asked you to do was get to a transposer and stay put so I could come after you.”
“Then maybe you should’ve answered your phone.”
“Maybe you should learn to take accountability for your actions. Then you can think about thanking me for saving your impulsive butt.”
She rolled her eyes. “As if you did that for me. You were just worried you were going to lose your ticket to Alea.”
“What?” She couldn’t be serious. “Are you blind?”
“Apparently, since I’ve been trusting you this whole time. I’m surprised you even have a sister.”
Wow. That was a low blow, and she knew it. “You’re unbelievable,” I muttered.
“Well, that’s ironic, coming from you.”
That time, I couldn’t respond at all. I listened to the sound of the water, wishing it could soothe me now and fix this mess. But I was beyond soothing, and things were beyond fixing. I’d be lucky if Lali ever talked to me again once this was all over.
At least she still thinks she has to help you. As much as I hated to admit it, in that moment, I was glad she still thought her mom was in Alea. That meant she had as much invested in getting a guard’s necklace as I did.
And speaking of the necklaces…
I blew out my breath. Even though it was obvious she wanted to strangle me right now, we had work to do. “Lali.” I kept my tone as peaceful as I could. “Listen to me.”
“I tried that, remember? And now I know it was a mistake. It’s bad enough Solstice lied about where the stupid portal is. I need someone I can trust.”
I squinted. How did she know about that? Had she seen the conversation I had with Delta? Was that how she knew about Delta in the first place? “What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Huh. Look who doesn’t like being out of the loop. No fun, is it?”
“I’m telling you the truth now!” As much as I can, anyway.
“Because Cade outed you,” she shot back. “We both know you wouldn’t have said a word otherwise.”
“Yes, I would’ve. Once everything settled down, I planned on telling you everything.” Almost. The more I tried to defend myself, the more I realized that Lali had more reasons to hate me than she’d ever be able to find to love me. My kidnapping her mother was just the tip of the iceberg.
“Ha!” Her gray eyes burned into me. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Lali. I hate keeping things from you.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I care about you! Haven’t you figured that out yet?” She stared at me, her moonlit face looking just as stunned as I felt at the words that had flown out of my mouth.
“Look,” I said, desperate to regain control of myself. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you everything before. In my screwed up mind, I thought I was protecting you from getting pulled into this whole convoluted mess. You had enough to deal with, and I was trying to keep you away from all the drama.”
“Please. You were tryi
ng to make sure you didn’t look bad so you could sucker me into helping you.”
“Okay,” I conceded. “Fine. I wanted you to see that there’s good in me, too. I’m not this monster you’re trying to make me into.” At least, I’m not trying to be. “I swear, all I want is to find Kala and reunite you with your mom.”
She avoided my eyes, but I grabbed her hands and put them over my heart, praying she’d at least feel the sincerity of that last statement. “Please,” I begged. “Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture here. We’re both so close to getting our family members back. Even if you hate me right now, we still need each other.”
She pulled her hands back, still avoiding my eyes. “Fine. Let’s figure out how to get one of those necklaces and get it over with.”
I inhaled my relief. “Th—”
“Don’t you dare thank me,” she growled. “Just help me figure this out. The sooner we get this over with, the better.”
I tried not to read into what she meant by that. I was sure she was implying that she wanted me out of her life as soon as possible, but I had to find a way to change her mind. After everything I’d lost in my lifetime, I wasn’t losing Lali, too.
…Things only got more complicated after that. I didn’t want to lie to you anymore, but I at least had to cover up the lies I’d already told. Once you said you’d seen Solstice and Delta arguing after the ritual, it was impossible to be sure what you already knew. I decided I would have to be as vague as possible until everything was over, but I swore to myself I’d be honest with you about everything in the future.
I just wanted to spare you the pain of knowing what had really happened with your mom. Okay, maybe it was partially motivated by my selfish desire to keep you in my life, too. The thought of not being able to see you or talk to you anymore wasn’t one I had the strength to entertain. But then everything got screwed up again, and I realized it was a reality I would probably have to accept anyway…
Chapter 49
Request
When I went back to Solstice’s apartment, she and Delta stood in the hallway whispering in harsh tones. Xiomara sat curled up on one of the blue and white sofas with her face pressed into her knees. She was rocking back and forth, and even from where I stood, I could hear her whimpering. I hadn’t meant to leave her out of the loop, but in all the mayhem, I’d forgotten that I left her, Delta, and Solstice scrambling to trace Lali. Apparently, they’d given up.
“Kai!” Delta called out from the hall.
Xiomara’s head popped up, and she shoved off the couch. The two of them nearly tackled me as they bombarded me with questions.
“Did you find Lali?”
“What happened?”
“Where is she?”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s safe,” I said. “I got to her just in time.”
A smile broke out across Delta’s face, and Xiomara grabbed the back of the loveseat, looking like she might faint. Her eyes were practically swollen shut, as if she’d been crying the whole time I was gone.
Solstice slowly made her way toward us, and just looking at her unaffected expression made red tinge the corners of my vision. It was her fault Lali had gone rogue and nearly ended up another victim of the Eyes and Ears. If she hadn’t lied about the portal’s location, I would’ve been right there when Lali found it. Lali wouldn’t have risked her life, and Cade wouldn’t have given her a reason to lose faith in me.
“You almost got Lali killed.” I advanced on Solstice until her back bumped into the wall just before the hallway entrance. “Why would you lie about the portal? What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?” Solstice’s icy blue eyes cut into mine. “I told you it’s not safe for us to go back without our abilities, but you wanted to send Lali into the lion’s den anyway. I had to lie to protect her.”
I laughed in her face. That was how she wanted to spin this? “The only person you want to protect is yourself. You’ve made it very clear you don’t give a crap about Lali.”
“And you do?”
I could only stare at her. Just last night, she’d accused me of being in love with Lali, and now she was claiming I didn’t care at all?
“Of course he does.” Delta stepped between us and pressed a palm to my chest to move me away from Solstice. “He nearly killed himself hitting blocks trying to get to her.”
A shudder moved through me at the memory. I couldn’t let myself think about what would have happened if I hadn’t kept trying, if I hadn’t found that window of time Lali wasn’t behind a block.
“He only did that because he thinks he needs her to get his sister back.” Solstice pushed off the wall, purposely bumping my shoulder as she moved into the living room. “But I can pretty much guarantee she won’t be helping with anything once she projects over here and sees you have her mother.”
My head snapped in Xiomara’s direction, and a new wave of dread washed over me. I’d forgotten she was out of range of the block. Lali could project to her at any minute.
“We have to go.” I rushed to where Xiomara was still putting her weight on the arm of the loveseat. She blinked at me, unmoving, as if her brain couldn’t process anything else. “Now!” I shouted. Lali was already questioning everything about me thanks to my blabbermouth uncle; I couldn’t risk her seeing me with her mother. It was already going to take a miracle to get her to trust me again.
Wrapping my fingers around Xiomara’s arm, I projected her to my house and pulled her toward the stairs. She nearly tripped over her own feet, but I managed to get her to the basement without having her fall down the steps.
Still staggering, she dropped onto the bed and gripped the side of the mattress. She looked like she’d aged ten years in the last hour, and her bottom lip trembled as she stared blankly at the floor. I knew I’d just put her through the ringer, and dragging her back to her prison had probably pushed her over the edge.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shoving my hands into my pockets. “I didn’t mean to blow up at you. I just don’t want Lali to see us together.”
Xiomara let out a weak laugh. “I can’t believe you just apologized to me.”
My face twisted. I supposed of all the things I’d put her through, this warranted an apology the least. But I meant it.
“Listen.” I took a moment to steady my voice. “I need you to promise me something.” She lifted her head slightly, as if to acknowledge my request. “I need you to promise you won’t tell Lali what really happened. With you, with this…” I gestured around the in-law.
“What?”
“I don’t want to hurt your daughter any more than I already have. And I’m sure you don’t want that either, right?”
She exhaled slowly. “Kai, what are you saying?”
“Pretend you left because of the Eyes and Ears.”
Her mouth opened but closed again without a sound.
“We can’t tell her the truth,” I went on. “She’s been through enough already. Do you want her to find out that the one person she’s been trusting for the last three weeks—the person who saved her life tonight—has been lying to her this whole time? Do you know what that will do to her?” How about what it already has done to her?
I shook my head. I couldn’t add another blow to the list. “We can tell her the Eyes and Ears came after you, and you had to run,” I suggested. “Maybe I can drop you off near your house and you can pretend you just made your way back home.”
Even as I said it, I knew it was a crazy idea. But it was all I had. If Xiomara went along with this, Lali would surely believe it, no matter how far-fetched it seemed. It couldn’t possibly sound as crazy as the idea of me keeping her mother locked away in what was basically a studio apartment for months.
Xiomara twitched her head from side to side, but I wasn’t giving up.
“We can come up with something,” I pressed. “Just tell me you’ll think about it. Please.” I sounded so pathetic I barely recognized my own voice. Tha
nk God Cade wasn’t around to hear me.
“Why?” Xiomara leveled me with her stare. “It doesn’t matter what Lali thinks after you find Kala. Once you get what you want—”
“I’ll still want Lali.” My words took both of us by surprise.
Xiomara leaned forward until she was barely sitting on the bed anymore. “Are you trying to tell me you have feelings for my daughter?”
“No,” I said too quickly. I cleared my throat. “I mean—she’s my friend. She’s the only friend I have, and I don’t want to lose her. Please, just go along with this so she doesn’t hate me for the rest of her life.”
“She won’t hate you. Just tell her the truth. She’ll understand you were trying to do what you thought you had to in order to find your sister.”
I gaped at her. Was she joking? Lali was the most black-and-white person I’d ever met. “I’ll tell her the truth about everything else moving forward,” I promised. “But I can’t tell her the truth about the past.”
Xiomara sighed heavily and rubbed her puffy eyes. “I can’t discuss this right now, Kai. I’m beyond exhausted. I need to sleep before I can try to think straight.”
Glancing at the clock on the kitchenette’s microwave, I saw it was nearly eight in the morning. None of us had slept yet. When I looked back at Xiomara, she was already breathing heavily.
I pressed my knuckles into the space between my brows. Somehow, I would find a way to get her to agree to keep my secret. And somehow, I had to find a way to convince Cade to tell me where to find the other transposers. But for now, I had to get some sleep, too.
“Okay,” I huffed. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” Spinning around, I trudged up the steps, praying my dreams would give me some inspiration about how to get both Xiomara and my uncle to agree to my demands. Otherwise, I had no clue how I was going to do it.
Chapter 50
