“We have a visitor,” Stephen said at last.
“Catherine is not ready for visitors,” he replied curtly. “Send them away.” He started to shut the door but stopped when Stephen made no move to leave.
Pinning Stephen with a hard look, he said, “What is the problem, brother?”
“I cannot send her away.”
“And why is that?” William asked through clenched teeth.
“Because the visitor is our mother.”
Chapter Thirty-six
William grabbed Stephen’s wrist and pulled him into the solar. “What did you say?”
“Our mother is here in the hall,” Stephen said. “She says she’s come to meet your bride.”
William’s head was pounding with a sudden headache that was so bad it made his eyes hurt. His mother had never troubled herself to visit him before. But he should have expected her. Aye, she would come now that he was a man of property and in the king’s favor.
“I kept her waiting as long as I could,” Stephen said, “but you really must come down and see her now.”
Better to strike quickly, William told himself. He marched out the door, ready to do battle.
Because Catherine’s ear was pressed firmly to the door, she learned as soon as William did of Lady Eleanor’s arrival. The anger and irritation that plagued her since Edmund’s attack were displaced, for the moment, by fervent curiosity. And a spark of excitement.
Her mother-in-law was an enigma to her. Both William and Stephan painted Lady Eleanor as strong-willed, even manipulative. But while William professed to dislike and mistrust her, Stephen had strong affection for their mother.
Catherine was inclined to think well of the lady. No matter what her failings might be, she bore two fine sons whom Catherine loved with all her heart.
She could not wait to meet her! As soon as she heard the door close behind William, she called her maid to help her change. The challenge was to look her best—without looking as though she had taken any special care.
She decided on a new velvet gown of a silvery blue that brought out the color of her eyes. The gown, which had just been made to accommodate her growing size, fell over her protruding belly in soft folds from a tightly fitting bodice. Silver ribbon trimmed the neckline, sleeves, and high waist. The headdress was of the same silvery blue, with silver mesh encasing the braids on either side of her face.
After a last glance in her polished steel mirror, she hurried down the stairs. She paused to listen outside the entrance to the hall to gauge the tone of the conversation.
“Your visit comes at a most inopportune time.” William’s voice was politely formal but held a hard edge.
“Stephen told me of the recent misfortunes here.” The woman’s voice was rich and low. “I am most sorry to hear of them. How is your wife?”
Taking her cue, Catherine made her entrance.
“Lady Eleanor,” she began, but stopped before she finished her words of welcome. Putting her hand to her chest, she said instead, “But… you are so beautiful!”
Catherine had never seen such a breathtaking woman. Lady Eleanor’s rich brown eyes, auburn hair, and creamy skin matched Stephen’s coloring, but her features were more delicate, more feminine. The lady had to be in her midforties, but she looked ten—even fifteen—years younger. Her close-fitting gown showed off curves that must turn heads.
Catherine realized she had spoken the words aloud and flushed as she curtsied. “ ’Tis good to meet you at last,” she said, giving Lady Eleanor a warm smile despite her embarrassment. “I am so glad you’ve come.”
Lady Eleanor laughed and put her hands out to Catherine. “Thank you, my dear,” she said, kissing Catherine’s cheeks. “You do make me wonder how my sons describe me.” Flicking her eyes toward William, she said, “Odious and overbearing?”
Catherine turned to look at William and Stephen. To her dismay, William stood with his arms folded, fairly seething with hostility. And Stephen might catch fire, backed up almost into the hearth.
“I wish you congratulations on your marriage,” Lady Eleanor said. After sweeping her gaze over Catherine, she added, “And on your upcoming blessing! I am pleased to see such a bloom of health in your cheeks. You look lovely, dear.”
“Thank you, I could not feel better.”
“I was just telling Lady Eleanor that this is not a good time for us to receive visitors,” William interrupted.
His rudeness shocked her. “I must disagree,” she said, giving him a look meant to convey her disapproval. “It could not be a better time, with Advent here.”
“It would be a burden on you to entertain guests when you are yet recovering from your ordeal.” Dropping his gaze to her belly, he added, “You must take care of your health.”
“Your mother will be no burden at all,” she said with a tight smile. Turning to Eleanor, she said, “Your visit will divert me from my recent troubles. I shall enjoy having another woman for company.”
William was outmaneuvered. From the look of resignation on his face, he knew it.
If William wanted to see his wife, he could not avoid his mother. Much to his surprise, the two women appeared to enjoy each other’s company enormously. He had to admit Eleanor’s presence had a soothing effect on Catherine. He often heard them sharing a laugh as he passed by.
Catherine’s irritation with him, however, continued unabated. Knowing he deserved the sharp edge of her anger, he took it without complaint. And yet, he could not understand why she became more vexed with him with each passing day. He was doing everything he could to make her feel safe and protected.
He sent his men to remove Grey from his lands. He had not left the castle since finding Catherine limp on the bed, covered in blood. That image would never leave him. He lived in fear someone would snatch her away again if he relaxed his vigilance for a single moment.
Between his mother’s presence and the tension with Catherine, he was in an unrelentingly sour mood. Lack of sleep did not help. And it was not just guilt and worry that kept him awake at night. Lord in heaven, he wanted his wife!
He wanted her with an aching need, a longing past bearing. But he did bear it. He was afraid touching her would revive her memories of that night. Although Catherine gave broad hints she was ready to resume marital relations, he could not bring himself to risk it.
Late one evening, he found her alone in the hall after the rest of the household had gone to bed. He was pleased to catch her without Eleanor for once.
He approached cautiously. “You look a little tired,” he said, trying to show his concern for her. “Perhaps you should retire?”
“I am not in the least bit tired,” she snapped.
He sat down on the bench beside her and tried to think of something else to say.
“It has been too long since I visited the tenants,” she announced. “I want you to take me for a ride around the estates tomorrow.”
Her suggestion was so unexpected, he forgot his resolve to keep his patience and not rile her.
“I shall not permit it,” he said flatly. “There are too many dangers outside the castle walls.”
She slammed closed the prayer book she had been reading and banged it down on the table.
“Will you keep me under lock and key in my chamber, husband?” she demanded, her eyes burning holes into him. “You are a worse jailor than my Welsh captors!”
Her eyes flicked to the table. Before he knew it, she picked up a pitcher and threw it at him. She stormed out of the hall, so angry she did not appear to see Eleanor near the entrance.
He caught the pitcher, but cider splashed onto his clothes and was dripping from his hands. As he shook his hands, he looked up to see Eleanor watching him from across the room. She arched an eyebrow at him.
“How long have you been there?” he asked.
“Long enough to see you are going about this all wrong.”
She walked over and handed him a cloth from the table. “Perhaps I did send you
off to your father too soon,” she said, shaking her head. “It is remarkable how little you know about women—at least about the woman who is your wife.”
William wiped himself off as best he could and tossed the cloth on the table.
“Come, sit down,” Eleanor said, gesturing to the chairs near the hearth. “Let me help you.”
His mother had made colossal mistakes with her own life. So far, she’d caused nothing but pain and trouble in his. It was a sign of how desperate he was that he was willing to listen to her advice.
“You are forgetting whom you married,” she said once they were settled by the fire. “A woman who would cross her husband to spy for the prince is not like other women.”
“Of course she’s not like other women,” he grunted.
“You did not marry a demure child, so you should not expect your wife to like it when you treat her as one.”
“I do not treat her like a child,” he said through clenched teeth. “I merely wish to keep her safe.”
“What you do not seem to understand is that Catherine takes pride in her strength,” Eleanor said. “It is important to her that you value that in her as well.”
“Are you suggesting I let her ride alone—pregnant as she is—all over the countryside at her whim?”
His mother sighed deeply to let him know he was trying her patience. “What I am saying is that you mustn’t cosset her. If you do, she will find a way to defy you. Or worse, she will comply and become a different woman from the one you love. Either way, you will make her unhappy.”
William thought back to when he arrived to take the castle. Catherine was magnificent that day, bold as brass, coming out alone on the drawbridge to meet them.
“I admired her courage from the start,” he said.
“Then you must let her know that,” his mother said. “A woman enjoys having her looks and charm appreciated, but she wants to be loved for what is best in her, for what she values in herself.
“Go to her now,” she said, patting his knee. “She loves you, so it should not take much to set things aright.”
For the first time since he was a very small boy, William kissed his mother’s cheek. Long after he had gone, Eleanor gazed into the fire, her fingers stroking the place where her son’s lips had touched her.
William searched their rooms, but Catherine was nowhere to be found. With his mother’s warning that Catherine would defy him ringing in his ears, he looked about her bedchamber more carefully. There was no sign of hurried packing. No open chest with gowns hanging over the side, as when she had run off to the abbey. Praise God.
What a fool he was. She must be up in Jamie’s chamber. He turned to go, then turned back. Everything was in its place….
Her riding boots were missing.
He grabbed his cloak and ran down the stairs two at a time. As he raced across the bailey, his breath came out in white puffs in the cold night air. How long had it been since she left the hall? He prayed it was not time enough for her to escape.
As he slipped through the stable door, he saw the glow of a lamp in the far corner. He was not too late.
When he saw her hooded shadow, the memory of their first meeting at Monmouth swept over him. As he thought of the straightforward and determined girl he found in the stable that night, it struck him with sudden clarity that his mother was right.
He was a wiser man back then. Though he was young and she a stranger to him, he had understood her intuitively. That night, they managed to find a compromise between her determination to do what she felt she must and his equal resolve to keep her safe.
It gave him hope they could do so again.
Taking care not to make a sound, he crossed the stable. When he stood just behind her, he said, “I see you still have not learned to saddle a horse in the dark.”
She let out a short scream and whirled around to face him.
After a long moment, she cocked an eyebrow and said, “I suppose I should be grateful you did not knock me to the ground this time.”
“Just as I am grateful you do not have a blade aimed at my heart.” Tilting his head, he added, “Though I suspect you wish you did.”
“I pray you do not drive me to it.” Her tone made William hope she had left her blade behind.
Without another word, she turned to take her horse’s bridle from its hook.
He clasped his hand over hers. In a quiet voice, he said, “Let me do that for you.”
She looked at him sharply. But as she examined him, her expression softened. “You will go with me?”
“I shall go with you, or you shall not go,” he said. “Just as before.”
His heart felt tight in his chest when she responded with the first genuine smile she had bestowed on him in much too long.
The men at the gate were not able to cover their surprise when he ordered them to open it. Telling himself it was safe enough, he stifled the impulse to grab her reins and turn around. God’s beard, even rebels had more sense than to be out on a night as cold as this.
She led the way around the castle to the path by the river. He was relieved to see that, in deference to her pregnancy, she kept her horse at a walk. Despite the fact that she had him out riding at midnight on a December night, he must try to remember she was usually a sensible woman.
They dismounted and walked up the bank overlooking the dark river. The moon and stars were bright in the night sky. William wrapped his cloak around them both and held her close against him.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked.
“Mmm,” she murmured, leaning back against him.
“I know why you came riding with me that night at Monmouth,” she said. “You were afraid of what would happen if you carried me kicking and screaming to the keep.”
“Aye, that was one reason.” He chuckled, remembering, and rubbed his chin against the top of her head.
“But later, after just one kiss, I wanted to forget my honor and steal you away.” He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her. “That is what made it so hard for me to believe about Jamie’s father. If I’d had you in bed even once, I could not have left you as he did. I would have killed Rayburn and defied the king if need be, but I could never have let another man have you after that.”
After a time, she asked, “Why did you come with me this time? What made you change your mind about keeping me in the castle?”
He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wasn’t hovering over you because I thought you were weak,” he said, though it was hard to admit. “I did it because I knew I was.”
She turned around to face him. “You don’t have a weak bone in your body, William FitzAlan. What can you be talking about?”
“I never felt true fear until I knew Edmund had you behind that barred door. And then, when I saw you covered in blood and believed you were dead…” He swallowed hard against the memory. “I was lost in a darkness so deep I thought I would never come out of it. And I did not care if I did.”
She took his hand and held it against her cheek. “I should have realized how it was for you to find me like that.”
“I would not change you from the strong, bold woman I love, but you must help me find my way,” he said, wanting to make her understand. “Twice I have nearly lost you. I live in fear another disaster will befall you—and that when it does, I shall fail you again.”
“You are a good man, William. A man of honor.” She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. “I do not know why God chose to bless me by making you my husband, but I am very grateful.”
Later, as they rode back to the castle, William felt light, as if a burden was lifted from him. A feeling of happiness welled up inside him. They pulled their horses up in a clearing to take a last look at the river. When Catherine suddenly threw her arms up to the heavens and laughed with the same joy he felt, he knew he had all he ever wanted.
They stopped in the hall to warm their hands before the hearth. As soon as Cat
herine could feel her fingers and toes again, she raised an eyebrow at William and cocked her head toward the stairs.
When they reached the solar, he removed her cloak and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
“ ’Tis late,” he said, and kissed her forehead. “You must be tired.”
She pulled away from him and went to the door to slide the bolt. Then she turned and gave him her best wicked smile.
“What is it?” William asked.
She nearly rolled her eyes, the man was so thick.
Keeping her eyes fixed on his, she dropped the blanket at her feet. She began undoing the buttons at the back of her gown. When he rushed over to help her, she grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him against her.
“Kiss me.” It was not a request.
He gave her a slow smile, then leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.
She was having none of that. Clasping her hands behind his neck, she gave him a kiss to remember. When they finally came up for air, she grabbed his belt before he could get away. She unfastened it and slipped her hands under his tunic and shirt. When her fingers touched warm skin and rough hair, she smiled.
Victory was within her grasp.
William grabbed her wrists to stop her. “What are you doing?”
“You did tell me I would have to help you find your way,” she said, fighting a grin, “but I thought you would remember this part.”
He released her wrists and took her face in his hands. “I do not think you are ready for this, love.”
“Oh, but I am.” She tilted her head back for another kiss, confident he was losing his will to fight her.
When she felt him melt into the kiss, she ran her hand along his erect shaft. He sucked in his breath and tried to pull back. She drew him deeper into the kiss and lifted his hand to her breast.
Thankfully, he did not need further direction.
She was breathless when he turned her and lifted her hair to finish unfastening her gown. He kissed her neck, sending thrills down her spine.
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