by Adore Ian
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RAINN - Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
www.rainn.org
www.rainn.org/es
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National Sexual Assault Hotline (Free. Confidential. 24/7.)
Call: 800-656-HOPE
Chat Online: https://hotline.rainn.org/online/
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Loveisrespect - Love is respect
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
http://espanol.loveisrespect.org/
Call: 1-866-331-9474
TTY: 1-866-331-8453
Text: LOVEIS TO 22522
Coming soon
Get ready for Elle and Conor’s story!
[spoiler alert: there will be smut]
LET’S STAY IN TOUCH!
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Facebook: @AdoreIan
Instagram: @Adore_Ian
Twitter: @Adore_Ian
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For more news, updates, and for newsletter and ARC team sign up, please visit: www.AdoreIan.com
Acknowledgments
Here goes my attempt at thanking all the kick ass people who helped me get this book into your hands.
To my manfriend, thank you for supporting my dreams, for being weird with me, and for being the only person who can say, “I don’t think we should eat pizza four nights in a row,” to my face and live to tell about it. You are my person for life and I love you.
To Tatyana W., you are the best fucking writing friend I could’ve asked for. You are The Reason I finally got my shit together and started writing down the stories that were haunting me. We survived Paola, we survived that creepy misogynist in our creative writing class, and one day we’ll survive book tours and people knowing our names.
To Rachel D., you were the first person to read this book and your enthusiasm, feedback, and knowledge of kink and fetish has been invaluable. You are, and will always remain, one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
To Abigail A. (aka The Ultimate Lesbian), we met in a prop shop when we were just two nerds trying to survive college, gender norms and fandoms. You approached this book thoughtfully, objectively, and with the mindset that not all characters are perfect and that it’s okay. Your advice about feminism, inclusion, and Damian (LOL) have been invaluable and I could never thank you enough.
To Rachael and April, for getting drunk with me that cold November day when we had to confront the truth about our place in the world, in history, and that sometimes the bad guys win. Thank you for keeping my secret and for giving me the chance to chase it.
To my parents, for pretending they didn’t know my secret, and for everything. You deserve a bigger mention than this, but I’m saving it for a different page in a different book.
To my friends. There are too many of you to name, but I’d like to highlight: Shannon O., for quality texts, conversations, and for keeping me sane. Rubi, for Russian adventures, being thoughtful, and for that elaborate “Black Tip” headcanon I still think should be a comic book. Caity and Meg-o, for all the years of quality friendship, for being there when I needed you, and for every angsty song you introduced me to in high school. My love of angst owes you both a life debt. Navid, Chelsea G. and Vinny, for quality friendship and conversations, for always lending me an artist’s eye when I need a second opinion, (and Navid for helping save me from my lack of Photoshop skills!). Ashley O., for being the first person to introduce me as a writer. Ced Linus, for random chats about chasing dreams and getting it done—no excuses. Sunny, for being floofally and sweet, and Sophie, for being a loaf.
To Dr. Hillis, for film noir talks in a basement room with a checkered floor in an old, crumbling building. I remember everything you taught me. I SWEAR. This book (and how it engages with film noir) is 100% me picking and choosing what I wanted to use because it served the plot. It is in no way meant to be an overview of the movement. I just wanted to hint at those things and use a little of what you taught me because your class was/is one of my forever favorites, and I could never thank you enough for all that you’ve taught me.
To Braxton, you’re a goddamn badass and I could never thank you enough for all that you shared with me—including that Taylor Swift album I wanted to hate, but ended up loving. You are an inspiration and I will take what you’ve shared with me to the grave. (P.S. Remember when you said I couldn’t work in references to Swift songs? Eat your goddamn heart out. P.S.S. Yes, I named the arcade after you.)
To Kareem, Micki, and everyone I ever met or shared a game with at the Baxter Arcade. Thank you for welcoming me into your lives, for getting nerdy with me, and for showing me all those combinations I never would’ve figured out on my own. This book was born from every late night and drunk day we shared, and every high score we chased. (Oh and shoutout to Jeff for letting me pick your brain about arcade guts!)
To Nikki L., for teaching me self defense in the middle of a crowded living room at an apartment party I wasn’t invited to.
A huge thank you to my Tumblr family. There are too many of you to name, but this book is a direct result of the confidence you gave me, the community you welcomed me into, and the amazing things you shared with me and let me share with you. You loved this story long before it was finished and when it was trying to be something it was not. Thank you for reading the first two chapters and for understanding and supporting me when I confessed I couldn’t finish it as it was because the characters were all wrong and the story I wanted to tell just wasn’t working. This is not the story that has lived with me the longest, but it is one that has haunted me since I spent my days in a prop shop and my nights at an arcade. It deserved a better life than what I was prepared to give it and each and every one of you helped me see that. To honor you, I may have left a few hints here and there if you know where to look (wink-wink).
To Mel, for being fuckin’ brilliant, for hooking me up (you know what I’m talking about!), and for letting me vent to you about life and books and whatever the hell else I have on my mind.
To Erika, for being a peach and sharing smutty headcanons with me, and for letting me bombard you with ideas while I was trying to flesh out this book.
To Tess and Irelis, for being complete and utter trash with me. Your nudes are in the mail.
To Brittanie Smith, Diane Rinella and Lexxie Couper, for all your help and advice and for messaging me back. You have no idea how nervous I was showing up or hitting send, nor do you have any idea how many people I’d reached out to looking for help and who never reached back. Thank you both for your kindness and for sharing your time and knowledge with me.
To all the authors I met on FB who showed me kindness, helped answer my questions or let me rubberneck off theirs.
To Natasha Snow, for designing a kick ass cover and for not murdering me when I emailed you a billion times asking for separate files. I promise to have my shit together next time.
To Nancy Smay, Lisa LaPaglia and Becca Mysoor, you were the fairy godparents of this book and I could never thank you enough for all your edits and feedback.
To Dani at Studio Dodge (aka my preferred vagina artist), you brought my ridiculous idea for a logo to life and I could not be more happy!
To all the bloggers, the readers and reviewers, for taking a chance on me. Thank you for letting me share this book with you. You may have loved it, you may have hated it, but you set aside your time to read it and for that I will be forever grateful.
To my nosy neighbors, I will never ever tell you what I do for a living or why you never see me outside (Hint: I’m avoiding you).
About the Author
Adore Ian grew up in a mixed race family in Hawaii and has loved steamy romance novels ever since finding a Harper paperback discarded on the sidewalk when she was a kid. She’s a proud dyslexic, a loud intersectional feminist, and a lover of standard poodles. She lives with her manfriend on the east coast where she spends too much time bunny watching and not enough time writing. She believes the ingredients to good romance are too much smut, quality
fluff and angst, and a dash of guerrilla sex ed. Her novels are best enjoyed with a slice of pizza and an ice cold beer.
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Join her in the trash can. #iAdoreSmut
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For more books and updates:
www.AdoreIan.com
Copyright
Copyright © 2018 by Adore Ian
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and not construed as real. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to business establishments, events, institutions, or locales is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-7325001-0-5 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-1-7325001-1-2 (eBook)
Edited by Evident Ink
Cover by Natasha Snow Designs
Logo by Studio Dodge
Created with Vellum
