by Jan Coffey
“Are you still on the line?” he asked.
“I’m here,” Mitch said heavily. “There’s one thing that I can’t shake loose.”
“What is it?”
“What happens if one of them does make it through after an episode of violence? What happens if one of them survives?”
There would be more detailed tests, interviews, close scrutiny. The intellectual and psychological conditions of the object would become unstable. And then there was the possibility of early memory being triggered. There would be no end to their problems.
“You leave that to me. I’ve taken care of those kinds of details before. I’ll take care of them again when I need to.”
~~~~
Chapter 1
Monday January 14, 11:56 a.m.
Wickfield, Connecticut
During the night, a thick crust of ice had formed on top of the six inches of snow that had fallen over the weekend. The pale disk of a sun had done nothing to soften it this morning. The street and the two driveways at the end of the cul-de-sac had been plowed, but the large pair of boots punching through the snow between the two houses carved its own path.
His head hurt. The pounding was louder. Voices, faces, places, numbers, all writhed in his pulsing brain.
He ripped a branch off a young oak tree that snatched at his jacket. Icicles showered down on him in retribution. He threw the branch fiercely to the side, and it bounced and skittered across the unbroken glaze of snow. He blinked through the gray haze that seemed to cover everything. Sky, snow, houses, everything was gray, and yet his eyes still stung from the light and the pain in his head.
He barely noticed the cold, but it was a labor to breathe. Somewhere, in a dark corner of his mind, the idea pulled at him that he wanted to lie down on the snow and just go to sleep. But he couldn’t. His feet kept stomping ahead of him toward his neighbors’ back porch.
The pounding voices in his head wouldn’t go away. He knew where he had to go, what he had to do, how to end it all.
He didn’t bother to knock on the door. Neither car was in the driveway. He turned the knob and pushed open the kitchen door. Wickfield was safe. Nobody locked their doors.
He’d been in the house many times. He knew they were in the basement. The cat appeared in the doorway leading to the living room and stared at him with distrust for a moment before disappearing. The pulsing flashes of light and the voices were getting louder. He had to stop them.
He stumbled across the kitchen, his boots leaving clumps of gray snow on the tiled floor. He yanked open the basement door with such force that it rebounded off the wall and smashed him hard in the shoulder. He didn’t feel it, not at all, and went down the wooden steps without bothering to flip on the light switch.
The cabinet was against the wall on the far side of the chimney. The four rifles seemed to call to him through the glass display front. The barrels, long and blue-gray, looked cool and smooth. The wooden stocks gleamed with a warmth that seemed unnatural. He pulled the knob. It was locked. He looked around him and saw the old fireplace tools against the basement wall. His fingers wrapped around the poker.
A phone started ringing upstairs. He didn’t pause. He didn’t care. His head hurt; that was all he knew. He took one big swing at the cabinet. Glass flew around him, blanketing the floor with glittering shards. He reached inside and touched the barrel of one of the guns. It was cool and smooth, just as they said it would be.
It would all work out now.
Finally, he could end the pain. Silence the noise.
~~~~
Chapter 2
Monday January 14, 2:25 p.m.
Wickfield, Connecticut
The large lobby in the guidance office at Wickfield High School was packed with teachers, and the meeting was already in progress by the time Kevin Gordon walked in. The band room and the cafeteria were still victims of the school renovation project, and this was the next best space. It wasn’t too good.
The principal, Scott Peterson, paused mid-sentence and looked around the room for an empty seat. There were none. Kevin shook his head at him and took the weight off his bad knee, leaning a shoulder against the door.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” the principal asked.
Kevin nodded again. He’d survive. He was going in for knee surgery over the spring break. Everyone knew it, and Peterson's question prompted two teachers who had their backs to him to start to get off their chairs. He placed a hand on both of their shoulders.
“Stay where you are,” he said quietly. “I'm okay.”
The email had said a fifteen-minute meeting. Thanks to the justifiably nervous mother of one of his flunking juniors, Kevin was five minutes late. She’d been waiting for him at the office when classes ended. Ten minutes on the old knee wasn't too bad.
“Since we have everyone we need here,” Peterson told the group, “let's go back to the agenda item we skipped and finalize the award recipients for the end of term assembly on Friday.”
The room was filled with the sound of notes being shuffled. Kevin didn't need to look at his. He knew who had his votes.
“The academic awards are straightforward,” Peterson said for the sake of saving time. “You have the names. No surprises there.”
Everyone in the room was in general agreement. The one interesting new variable was the “effort” grade that they were now assigning.
“Okay, let’s go over this semester’s citizenship award. I have everyone's submissions.” Peterson leafed through a folder before him. “We've got some passionate recommendations on this one.”
Kevin pulled on his invisible boxing gloves. He was ready to go to battle. Before the fur began to fly, he shot a quick look across the room at Sally Michelson. She was in charge of guidance, and she nodded to him. Sally was on his side in this. She’d only come into the discussion later, though.
“To bring everyone quickly up to date on this.” Peterson said, addressing the three first-year teachers. “The citizenship award is given twice a year at the end of each semester to the student who has shown, through their words and actions that they possess the qualities and characteristics we hope to instill in all our students.”
“And the award has always been given to a senior,” one of the music teachers interjected.
“That’s correct,” Peterson agreed. “That has been the tradition.”
“And because of that, I don’t think we should be thumbing our noses at this graduating class.” Ed Torangeau, a history teacher, was Kevin’s biggest opponent in this. “The recognition should go to an upper classman. This is a moment in the sun for one of these kids.”
“But not their only opportunity,” Kevin corrected. “These students have plenty more chances to win all kinds of awards before they graduate. And last night I went through the awards we’ve given. Every senior worth his or her salt has gotten numerous awards, and next month we sit down to decide on the graduation prizes.”
“What’s your point, Kevin?” the music teacher cut in.
“Well, by giving the citizenship award to a deserving sophomore—like Juan Bradley—we’re sending the message that recognition for effort and accomplishment is not simply tied to the fact that you’re graduating. It reinforces the importance of making significant contributions to the school and the larger community throughout the four years a kid is here. This will send the message that being prepared for class and getting good grades isn’t the whole picture for underclassmen.”
“I’ll settle for just having them stay awake in class,” a young woman who was teaching two sections of general math said under her breath.
A few laughed, and others looked sympathetically in her direction.
Sally stepped in. “I agree with Kevin. We should look for and reward good citizenship with the same diligence that we correct mistakes. Giving a citizenship award to Juan Bradley will definitely hammer a point home.”
“Make up another award,” Torangeau suggested. “Give him a ribbon or s
omething.”
“That’s not the same thing,” Kevin argued. “There’s recognition that already goes along with the citizenship award. Students talk about it. The name of the winner goes on the plaque by the office next to all the past winners. Everyday, kids go by and are reminded why those students’ names are there. There’s status and he deserves it.”
A few started talking at the same time. Sally had warned Kevin that the old guard wouldn’t go along with his suggestion without a little kicking and screaming.
Another teacher took Torangeau’s side. “We need consistency here. There’s nothing to indicate that Juan won’t keep up the good work he’s doing and earn it by the time he’s a senior. He should wait for his turn.”
“If we give the award to Juan now, what’s going to stop him from winning it two or three times more before he graduates,” someone else suggested.
“And why would that be a bad thing?” Sally responded before the principal could speak. Her expression clearly conveyed what she thought of the last question. “If he’s ‘walking the walk’, why not give it to him? We need to get away from thinking that seniors are the only ones who should be rewarded and given a pat on the back. Let’s start early…even let freshmen win that award if they deserve it.”
Kevin jumped in where Sally left off. He didn’t want to let the group get distracted with small talk.
“If we could just take a minute, let’s go over Juan’s qualifications,” he said. “First thing, his grades. He’s always been at the top of in his class. Extra-curricular activities, he plays two varsity sports in addition to being a section member in the school orchestra. Consider his achievement in civics and government courses, his performance in civics and government-related extracurricular activities. He’s a member or an officer of a half-dozen clubs. His community service is exemplary. I’ve lost count on how many places in and out of school that he volunteers.”
The room went silent for a moment. Faculty discussions didn’t usually get this animated.
“All I’m asking,” Kevin said, taking it down a notch, “is that we judge his qualifications against the seniors who applied and see where he stands.”
Kevin Gordon wouldn’t admit it to anyone in that room, but this campaign was personal. He’d been the one who’d brought this up at the parent-teacher conferences in November and encouraged Juan to write the qualifying essay for the award. Kevin had asked the principal’s opinion on it back then. Peterson had been open to the idea.
When it came right down to it, Juan Bradley was a very special human being. His gifts transcended his intelligence. He didn’t only shine as a student, he brightened the existence of everyone in the classroom and everyone, it seemed, who knew him. He extended himself to help others…whoever, whenever.
Kevin was driven to reward the fifteen-year-old. And as an English teacher who taught mostly honors courses, he’d had most if not all of the seniors who were possible nominees for this award. None of them came close to Juan.
Kevin Gordon surveyed the room for those teachers who’d already had Juan in a class.
The geometry teacher quickly took the hint. “I think that’s only fair,” she said. “Give Juan a chance to get compared against seniors. Frankly, I believe he holds his own.”
“His essay was very impressive,” another member of the English department announced. He’d had Juan second semester last year and had also been one of the judges for the writing. “I’ve read all the personal essays, and his was the best by far. A lot of the seniors simply rehashed their college admissions essays.”
The senior member of the faculty, an older teacher who had Juan for Algebra II, stirred. “Juan was absent today.”
Sally brushed off the comment as irrelevant. “It’s the time of the year. Kids get sick. And Dr. Bradley was on the phone before 7 a.m. this morning. Juan’s attendance is not a problem.”
Ed Torangeau shrugged his shoulders. “I think we should put it up for a vote.”
Kevin looked at Scott Peterson. He’d hoped that the principal would say a few words on Juan’s behalf. The boy was a good friend to Scott’s son, Jake, though. Perhaps Scott didn’t want his actions to be construed as a conflict of interest. Whatever.
“As someone who feels no pull one way or the other,” a science teacher said. “I’d like to know who the top three or four students are before I vote. We all agree that Juan is one, who are the other candidates?”
“That’s what I want to vote on,” Torangeau said. “We need to decide whether or not an underclassman should be a finalist.”
“We can do that, Ed,” the principal said before responding to the science teacher. “Kay, a finalist list was put in everyone’s mailbox last Friday.”
“I didn’t get one,” someone else mumbled.
“I must have misplaced mine,” she said. “Do you have an extra one?”
“We’re clearly not ready to vote on anything, yet,” another teacher commented.
Everyone was talking at the same time, complaining, others questioning the finalist list. Kevin shook his head and leaned more heavily against the door. The knee was killing him. He looked at Sally. She was clearly annoyed. They weren’t getting anywhere today.
Suddenly, he realized that the noise level outside had grown louder than the argument in the room. Nobody else seemed to notice it, though. Kevin opened the door slightly and peeked out into the hall.
When he’d come in, the usual athletes and after-school crowd were milling about. Now a dozen students were running full speed down the corridor. One girl was screaming and the sound of more screams came from the library, across the hall.
There was no fire alarm. No sirens.
“What’s going on out there?” He heard the principal say over his shoulder.
Kevin stepped into the hall.
“Don’t do it,” a woman cried. “Please don’t.”
He crossed quickly to the doorway of the library. Inside, Sue, the librarian, was standing chalk-faced behind the counter that separated her work area from the rest of the library. Her hands were extended in front of her, and Kevin could see them shaking.
“Put that down, right now. Please,” she spoke tensely.
Three girls were huddled on the floor by the wall of books, crying hysterically. There were other students under the tables and hiding behind the library shelves.
Without thinking, Kevin stepped in.
“Put the gun down,” Sue said more authoritatively. “Now!”
He should have walked out and sounded the alarms, called for help, but Kevin Gordon made the mistake of turning toward the assailant first.
“Juan!” he blurted, staring in horror at the fifteen year old. “What are you doing?”
The boy seemed to be stoned. No recognition registered in his pale face. The glassy eyes stared straight ahead.
“Juan, put that gun down,” he ordered.
As if it were happening in slow-motion, Kevin watched the barrel of the rifle swing in an arc away from the girls on the floor. In a moment, it was pointing at him.
Kevin was looking directly into Juan’s emotionless brown eyes when the boy started firing.
~~~~
Chapter 3
Tuesday January 15
New York City
The nightmare was back.
Bryan Atwood had spent three years of his life working on these kinds of cases. He’d spent another five years seeing a shrink, trying to get over it. And here they were dragging him into the middle of it again. He couldn’t fucking believe it.
“December 11. Ten people, including a teen-age suspect, dead in this small town south of Chicago.” Don Geary, the FBI Special Agent in Charge who was heading the investigation, pointed to a thumbtack on the large United States map spread on one wall. “A quiet suburb of Pittsburgh. Five students and a teacher gunned down at a school dance on December 14. The female suspect…yes, female…kills herself on the scene.”
Bryan glanced at his old partner. Hank was
looking at him and gave him a discreet shake of the head. He couldn’t believe it, either. With everything they had on their plates…with everything they’d been through in the past…it was incredible that they would drag both of them back to this.
Geary stabbed a fat finger at the next location on the map. “Four days later in Eugene, Oregon, a freshman opens fire with a semi-automatic rifle in a high school cafeteria, killing two students and wounding 22 others. He also kills himself on the scene.”
Bryan watched the news. He knew all of this. It was the worst outbreak of school violence the country had ever witnessed. The most widespread. It was a horrible tragedy. He flexed his neck and his jaw. The pain in his head was threatening to split it open. Bryan had gotten it the moment he received the message from his director about being put on a new assignment, starting immediately. No details. Just turn over the work he had to the others in his office. He’d be helping the FBI until further notice.
Bryan’s suspicions about the assignment had been confirmed the moment he’d walked inside this packed conference room.
“Two days later, on the day before the Christmas school vacation in Las Vegas, Nevada, a fifteen-year-old student kills two classmates and wounds another thirteen people during a shooting spree before taking her own life.” Geary was relentless.
Nearly ten years ago Bryan Atwood, a senior agent with the United States Secret Service, and Hank Gardner, a forensic psychologist, were assigned the task of conducting an inquiry into a series of high school shootings spanning fifteen years.
