by Dean Hughes
Bobbi nodded, and she did get out. But it was more than “kind of” cold. A brisk wind was blowing, and it cut through her summer clothing. She also wasn’t sure what she was supposed to be seeing. She looked down into the valley, where gray-brown smoke was hanging over the city, and beyond that was only the dim blue of the Great Salt Lake. There was nothing inspiring in any of that.
Richard stepped up next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. “Bobbi, I’m afraid, the way I acted in Hawaii, I might have ruined things between us. I hope not, because that would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I’ve straightened everything out in my head now. I’m doing just fine. Working for your dad has worked out better than I ever could have hoped. I can provide for a family right now, without going back to college—the way I used to talk about.”
“Richard, you told me that in your letters, too. But I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to read all the books you could. Learn everything. Teach. You said you didn’t want to work for a business.”
“I know. But that was part of all that confusion I had going on in my mind. Now, I don’t feel that way. I want to make something of myself, provide a good life for my family. Like I said before, I want to move ahead.”
“Wouldn’t it be good to take some time and—”
“Bobbi, we’ve both lost a lot of years already. I don’t want to wait anymore. I love you, and I want to marry you right away.”
Bobbi was silent. She liked this in a way—liked that he wanted her, was willing to say so with some force—but she didn’t want to start setting dates. What she wanted was for her heart to change.
“Your dad bought all this land up here, and he’s going to develop it. It’s the part of Salt Lake that is going to grow like crazy in the next few years. It’ll all be new, but it’s not very far from where you grew up. Wally told me that you and your brothers played up here in these hills when you were kids.”
“We did.”
“Well, I thought it was the perfect place for us, so I bought this lot right here.” He waved his hand to indicate the land in front of them. “I bought a double lot so we could have a big yard, and no one could build right behind us. We’ll always have this view of the valley. It’s going to be a wonderful place to raise our family. A great neighborhood.” He stepped around in front of her, took hold of her shoulders, and looked her in the eyes. “Bobbi, I want to start all over. I want to propose again. Will you marry me? I promise I’ll be the kind of husband you need.”
“We’re still engaged, Richard. I never said we weren’t.”
“I know. But let’s recommit.”
What did it mean exactly? How soon did he want to get married? Bobbi took a breath, didn’t respond, but she saw what she was doing to him.
His eyes angled away from hers; his chin dropped. “Bobbi, did I do this wrong? I just wanted to show you that I’m all right now—not like I was in Hawaii, or on the phone that day. I couldn’t even make it clear to you then how much I love you.”
“Richard, this doesn’t seem like you. I hardly know you today.”
He nodded, smiled rather sadly, and then turned away. “I know. It’s not how I usually do things. But it’s more the way
I want to be from now on. I’m also going to talk about things I feel, the way you said David Stinson always did.”
The comparison, in a sense, was the worst one Richard could have called to Bobbi’s mind. David would have done something like this with so much charm and exuberance. But still, what Richard was doing was what she had always said she wanted from him: he was even trying to change himself to fit his idea of what she wanted. And he was talking about looking ahead. Bobbi had told herself hundreds of times that she couldn’t spend her life imagining that David was the only man who could have made her happy. She had to look to the future.
And now Richard was staring off into the valley, looking crushed, and she couldn’t stand that. “Richard, you don’t have to change for me. I want us to talk to each other, openly, but you don’t have to be someone you’re not.”
He shrugged, and she sensed that he was feeling foolish, found out.
“We’re engaged, Richard,” Bobbi said. “That hasn’t changed.” She wanted to stop at that and commit to nothing more, but he was still looking away, seeming destroyed. He needed more from her, so she said it. “This is a beautiful spot for a house, Richard. And I do want to marry you.”
“Bobbi, you don’t need to . . . say that.”
This time she moved in front of him, and she wrapped her arms around his body, leaned her head against his shoulder. “Richard, I’m sorry. I’m the one who’s been confused lately. But I feel better about this now. We’ll talk some more about everything. But I do want you to know that I love you.”
His silence told her that he still didn’t trust this, that he was probably still embarrassed by her earlier hesitancy.
“Richard, I’ve prayed and prayed about this. And I got my answer—even before I knew that David had died. You’re the right one for me. That’s what the Lord told me.”
Bobbi felt Richard’s chest swell, and then felt the wisp of air on her hair as he let his breath blow out. “I’m glad for that, Bobbi. But I can just hear you: ‘Are you sure about that, Lord? Because I’m not.’”
Bobbi laughed. He did know her. And without warning, it suddenly felt comfortable for her to say, “I want to marry you, Richard. It is time to move ahead.”
“All right.”
“Let’s go home now. I want to see my family and get settled down for a day. And then we’ll start to plan. Okay?”
“Okay.” He took her hand and walked her back to the car. Now that he was more subdued, he seemed himself. She thought of their times together on Sunset Beach, the warmth between them. She stopped, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
He kissed her gently, almost carefully, but then he held her in his arms for a long time, and Bobbi felt everything coming back. She did love this man. She didn’t want him to worry about that, to try to adjust his life for her. She wanted to make him happy. “Richard, I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m the one who did this wrong. I do love you.”
“I got really scared when I thought I was losing you,” he said, and that seemed to be his explanation for how he had handled things today.
“I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I shouldn’t have made you worry,” she told him, and then she shivered. “I’m freezing. Let’s go.”
In the car, Bobbi sat close to Richard, put her arm through his, as he drove down the hill. And now she wished she had a little more time with him before everything got crazy. But when Richard parked the car in front of her house, she felt the excitement again. She looked at the porch and saw that a man was sitting there in the old love seat. He was wrapped up in a big coat and hat. And then she realized that it was Wally. “Wally!” she screeched, and she jumped from the car before Richard could come around. She raced toward the front steps, and by then Wally had jumped off the porch. They met in front of the house, on the sidewalk, and Bobbi leaped into his arms. Wally grasped her tight, and Bobbi felt more “home” than she had in many years.
When Wally put her down, Bobbi stepped back to have a good look at him. He was flushed from the cold, and his face was changed—older, of course, but also more satisfied, more at peace. “Are you as happy as you look?” she said.
“Happier,” he said, and he laughed. “I’ve been waiting out here because I wanted to see you first, before the whole gang got hold of you.”
“Oh, Wally, this is too good to be true. A big chunk of my heart has been missing all these years, and you’ve just put it back.”
“I still think I’m dreaming. I didn’t know life could be this good.”
By then Richard had come up to them. He was carrying Bobbi’s luggage. “What did she say?” Wally asked. “Is she ready to get married?”
Bobbi took a breath. Had Richard told the whole family what his plans had been
?
“She is,” Richard said, and he ducked his head a little. “Bobbi, I only told Wally about this. Not the others. I needed his advice.”
He does understand me, Bobbi told herself again, and her satisfaction took another leap. “We don’t know when yet,” Bobbi said. “But he showed me where we’re going to live. That’s pretty exciting.”
“Lorraine and I will be up there, too. Not too far from you two. Richard and I want to start both houses as soon as spring breaks.”
“It sounds like you and Richard are getting to know each other pretty well.”
“Hey, we work together every day.”
“Wally thinks straight,” Richard said. “And he’s been through some things. He’s been a big help to me.” Bobbi liked that. “Listen, I’m going to walk inside and let you two talk for a minute—and freeze yourselves. I’ll tell your family to give you a few minutes.”
“Thanks,” Bobbi said. And then she looked at Wally again.
“Are you really okay, Wally? Don’t you have any illnesses, or aren’t you having trouble adjusting to everything?”
“Well, yeah. I have trouble looking at Lorraine. I want to cry every time—because she’s so beautiful and she’s mine. But I guess I can deal with that.”
“Be honest with me, Wally. Didn’t all this change you?”
“Sure. It changed me.” He nodded, dropped his glance. “Mostly for the better, I hope.”
“It didn’t take the fun out of you, did it?”
“Well . . . it did while I was over there—most of the time. But those things come back.”
“Our ship loaded up with POWs in Japan. We brought them back to the States, so I spent quite a bit of time with them. Some of them were a real mess, Wally. I saw guys who would sit and stare all day. Some of them were scared to death to go home. They felt like they weren’t human anymore. They kept telling me that they wouldn’t know how to live around regular people.”
“I know. We all felt some of that at first.”
“Wally, I don’t think any of those men are going to be as normal as you seem to be. At least not this fast.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Bobbi, but I think my little group did better than most. We had our own church meetings, and we tried to keep straight about the things we believed. God helped me, too.”
“Do you get nervous at all?”
“I do, sometimes. Sure.” A little puff of steam drifted from his mouth. Bobbi was so pleased to see how full his cheeks were, how healthy he looked.
“What makes you nervous?”
“Life is a little too busy now, too complicated, but I’m getting used to it. And I have a feeling that sleeping in a bed with Lorraine is going to be a whole lot better than sleeping on a mat on a cold floor—with a room full of stinking men.”
“Maybe. But you won’t know for sure until you try it.” Bobbi felt herself blush—not sure what he would think she meant. But the thought crossed her mind that sleeping with Richard might be rather nice, too.
“Bobbi, I really came out here to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
“Richard is trying to do all the right things, and he’s a great guy. I think you’ve made a great choice. But he’s struggling more than he wants to admit. You need to let him handle things his own way, and you need to give him a lot of love and support. I really think he’ll be fine. But don’t force things. He told me that you want him to talk about his experiences, but for a lot of guys, that’s the last thing they want to do.”
“Wouldn’t it help them?”
“Some guys need that. Other guys just want to put it all behind them.”
“But can they?”
Wally stepped back just a little more. He tucked his hands into his coat pockets. “I don’t know for sure. But I don’t think it helps to keep asking him.”
“Did he tell you what happened to him?”
“No. But he’s trying hard to put it all behind him, and I’ll tell you, he loves you so much he’d do anything for you.”
“Really? Is that how he seems to you?”
“Definitely. You know me. I never did like your old friend Phil. And I worried about that professor you liked. But I like Richard. He’s a real guy. And he’ll knock himself out to give you a good life.”
Bobbi did feel sure about that. “But Wally, is he cut out to be a businessman? I’m afraid he’s trying to do that just for me.”
“I’m not sure, Bobbi. He’s sure working hard at it. But I wouldn’t say he likes it as much as I do.”
“Is it what he ought to do all his life?”
“I don’t know. He does everything just fine, but I don’t get the feeling that it means very much to him. I could be wrong.”
About then the front door flew open, and there was Beverly, sweet little Beverly turned into a tall teenager, flying toward Bobbi, jumping off the porch. “You’re so lucky,” she whispered into Bobbi’s ear. “I wanted to marry Richard, but you got him.”
“I’m just lucky that I saw him first.” She set Beverly down and looked at her again. Her face was still childlike, simple, but almost shockingly a mirror of her own: the same pale eyes and even freckles across her nose.
“Bobbi!”
Bobbi turned to see LaRue bursting out the door. The girl was stunning, so mature. She didn’t leap, not like Beverly, but she hurried down the stairs and grabbed Bobbi. And now Bobbi could see Mom and Dad over LaRue’s shoulder, at the door. “I love you, LaRue,” Bobbi said. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Come in,” Mom was calling. “You don’t have to stand out there.”
So Bobbi rushed up the porch steps and into the front entry, where Mom embraced her first. “You’re going gray, Mom,” she said. “I can’t believe it.”
“You should. You and the other kids gave me all those gray hairs.”
“Not me. I’m a good girl.”
“Yes. Out there wandering around the ocean, worrying me to death all the time.”
Bobbi laughed, and then she turned to her father. “Welcome home, Barbara,” he said. Bobbi smiled. He was the only person in the world who called her that, but from him, the name sounded like love.
Lorraine was there too, looking radiant, still so trim and perfect. Bobbi grabbed her hands and said, “You’re going to be my sister now. It’s what I always hoped would happen.”
The two hugged one another, and Richard waited close by. When Bobbi stepped back, he took her under his arm, held her close. Everyone was collected around them now, still in the entrance, and Bobbi loved the feel of the house, still unchanged, still so solid, still who she was and always would be.
“Barbara, Richard just told us that you two sort of sealed the deal. Congratulations.”
Sealed the deal? Good ol’ Dad—always a way with words. But Bobbi only said, “Thanks, Dad.” She was still taking deep breaths, letting the home air into herself, savoring the smells. “It’s over,” she said. “It’s finally over.”
She meant the war, of course, but much more. Wally was home, and he seemed better than ever. What struck her
was that she didn’t feel afraid of anything—not even her future—and she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt that way.
Chapter 13
LaRue and Beverly couldn’t attend Wally and Lorraine’s marriage ceremony in the temple on Friday morning, but they had a good time at the reception that evening. Lots of people from both Wally’s and Lorraine’s wards came, and many others from around the stake. The Gardners had arranged for a band to play, and everyone danced, from old folks to children. People brought lots of food and enjoyed it, and the floor of
the recreation hall was crowded for every dance. Late in the evening some of the girls, LaRue and Beverly among them, decorated Lorraine with ribbons from her presents, and then Lorraine’s brother Glen asked her to get on board a little red wagon. Lorraine had to drape her long train over her arm and hoist up her dress, but she laughed about all that and s
eated herself in the wagon. Glen and one of his friends pulled her all the way around the hall as everyone applauded and laughed. All the while, Wally stood by watching, looking proud.
Then everyone cleared the floor, and Wally and Lorraine danced alone while the band played “I’ll Get By as Long as I Have You.” Wally’s dancing skills had certainly come back to him, and LaRue thought he looked wonderfully handsome in his tuxedo. Lorraine was elegant in her satin wedding dress, with a pretty tiara pinned into her hair, the attached veil falling down around her shoulders. LaRue couldn’t help but think of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
After the two danced, Lorraine’s mother called for all the unmarried girls to line up, and Lorraine stood with her back to them and tossed her wedding bouquet over her shoulder. Beverly seemed to be in the right position to catch it, but a tall girl from the Thomas’s ward, Eva Winston, reached over her and snatched it with one hand. That brought lots of laughter, and LaRue heard a man say, “These older girls, they start to worry. They’re not afraid to go after that bouquet.” It was true that Eva was over twenty, but LaRue didn’t know why anyone would think she was getting desperate. LaRue didn’t want to marry until she was much older than Eve.
It was after midnight by then, so the band played one last number, “The Last Waltz,” and then the crowd began to leave. LaRue knew that all the presents had to be carried out to cars and the decorations around the gymnasium had to be taken down, but she was tired and wished that Mom would let them do all that on Saturday morning. “I don’t know why we have to do everything tonight,” she told Beverly.
But Beverly was still flushed with excitement. “I’d rather do it now and get it over with,” she said. And then, as though the idea was connected, she added, “I danced almost every dance.”
“You mean you got your feet stomped on by all the old men in the ward,” LaRue told her.
“Not really. The old ones are the best dancers.” She giggled, and then she leaned close to LaRue. “I also danced with Keith Pedersen. Did you see that?”
