by Deja Voss
My mother turns and scowls. Her platinum blonde hair is so white it almost looks gray, and as she stands there with her hands on her hips and her eyes filled with rage, she looks a little bit like one of the witches in my painting collection.
“You know your father and I have always been huge philanthropists, Serafin. Why have all this money if you’re not going to share some with worthy causes? We raised you better than that!”
I throw my head back and laugh. She really has no idea what I’m talking about. She really thinks I’m mad they donate money to charity.
“Worthy causes like convincing me the love of my life abandoned me?” I shout. Her eyes turn from rage to fear in an instant and she puts her hands out in front of her like she expects me to attack her. She slowly steps backwards into the wall.
“Mother, I have never put hands on you before,” I growl. “Stop being hysterical and tell me the truth. Your little boo hoo baby act isn’t going to work on me like it did with dad. Besides, I’m pissed at him too.”
“You were so young, love,” she says. Her voice is wavering like she’s trying to hold something back. “We were all so traumatized by your accident, nobody was thinking straight. It was just the simplest solution.”
“She’s the only woman I ever cared about, mom. You knew that.”
“I know that now,” she says. “Back then, I didn’t believe in love. Me and your father believed in practicality. When I was coming of age, you didn’t have the luxury of marrying someone because you were in love with them. You married someone, and you learned how to love them. On the surface it’s much easier that way.”
“You didn’t love dad?” I think back on how happy they seemed to be together, at least during the happy times, but there was always something missing in their interactions with each other. Their relationship was always more of a transactional thing with set expectations for one another. I just assumed it was because they were both very conservative people. I never thought maybe it was because they really weren’t in love.
“I loved your father the best I could with what I was given,” she says. “And I loved that he gave me a beautiful son. You have always been the most important thing to me, Serafin. That’s why I thought I was doing you a favor by making sure you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of trying to be with a woman like that.”
I like the words she’s saying, but I don’t like the tone she’s taking. The way she emphasizes ‘woman like that’ leads me to believe she still thinks she did the right thing. I know I’m not going to make overnight progress with her, but it’s time she knows I’m not her little child anymore. I’m a man now, and it’s not her job to protect me anymore, no matter how good her intentions were.
“She is a very talented artist, I must say,” my mom says, staring off sadly into space. “I’d really love to see more of her work.”
“I’m sure I can arrange that.”
“Have you been talking to her?” Her thin eyebrows pinch together on her forehead, and just like that, she’s back to being a witch.
“What are you going to do, mom, take her to court? Her family burned through any money you gave her. All she has are the clothes on her back and this painting.”
It never had to be like this.
I could’ve put a stop to this a long time ago.
If it wasn’t for this woman standing in front of me, Mia would’ve never had to go through the suffering she went through to get to this point.
And it pisses me off.
“Last I heard she was married to a police officer, Serafin. I don’t think that’s something you want to get yourself involved in. For the business.”
“She’s divorced,” I growl.
“Even better,” she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “No proper priest is going to marry you. Why do you always want to make things so difficult?”
“I almost thought you’d changed, mom. Just for one minute I thought maybe you weren’t as fucked in the head as I always thought you were.”
“Well, if you had to live with the shit your father put me through, you’d be just as ‘fucked in the head’ as me. I shielded you. I protected you.”
“You made me into a criminal, mom. And your attempt to protect me sealed the nail in the coffin that I’m going to spend the rest of my fucking life alone. What you did to Mia was completely unacceptable! Hiding it from me was the cruelest thing anyone could’ve ever done.” I punch my fist off the table, and she steps back, smoothing her long floral skirt. Her gaze goes over my shoulder and her lips tighten up, and I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a sigh as I realize Mia is standing directly behind me.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Mia says, her eyes darting nervously around the room. Her voice is so quiet, it’s nearly a whisper. “I’ll be going now.”
“No,” my mother says, her nostrils flaring with anger. “I’ll be going now. I wouldn’t want to interfere with your life anymore, Serafin.” Her high heels click clack off the marble floor as she storms off.
“You’re right, mom!” I shout after her. “You’ve done enough interfering for the both of us.”
I throw my hands up in the air with a disgruntled sigh, and Mia just stands in the corner looking like she just saw a ghost.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your family. I knew this was a bad idea. Why don’t you go after her? You can tell her I was just passing through town.”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Mia,” I say. “This is my home and I want you here. I need you here.”
I’m not a kid and neither is she. I’m not dancing around what I want anymore, and I’m not playing by my parents rules. I’m not playing by anyone’s rules.
I’m tired of playing a game I didn’t even know the rules to.
I’m in charge now.
I scoop her up in my arms and plant a hard kiss on her lips. She breathes out hard through her nose, but she doesn’t pull away. Her mouth is warm and wet, and it instantly makes my dick hard. I wonder what the rest of her feels like, what her warm wet cunt tastes like.
I swirl my tongue in her mouth, and the way she licks at mine with these soft little teasing jabs sends electric sparks down my spine.
She aches her back and melts in my arms, pulling away. Her eyes are closed and her lips turn up into a smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever come home from work and got greeted like that before,” she says.
“Get used to it,” I say, brushing her hair out of her face.
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or frightened,” she says with a giggle. “Does fighting with your mother turn you on?”
“No,” I say, tracing the straps of her slip dress, running my fingers off her soft flesh. “That was just bad timing. I’ve been thinking about this moment all day.”
She smiles from ear to ear. “Been thinking about this moment all my life.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, cocking my head to the side as she takes my hands in hers.
“I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I’ve kinda always had a crush on you, Serafin.” I know she’s teasing me on purpose. Even though the years have been long and unkind, that sparkle in her eye is still there. I drop the straps of her dress down her shoulders, and she shivers. “And I like when you take charge. Nobody’s ever stood up for me like you have. You always have.”
I press my lips to her shoulder, tasting her flesh, taking in her sweet smell, and in this moment everything in my world is right. The only pain I feel is the aching in my boxers, my cock desperate for release. The way she grinds up against my leg doesn’t help. I know she wants me just as bad as I want her. She’s spent so many years making me work for it, though, and now I’m going to make sure she feels exactly the same way.
“Go in my office and take that dress off,” I say, motioning down the hallway, feeling emboldened, and devious, my mind racing with everything I’ve ever wanted to do with her. Now that she’s here I’m going to take my time.
“Serafin
,” she gasps, her eyes growing wide. I grab her hand it place it on my hard dick.
“I have some things to take care of before you take care of me,” I growl. I put my hand between her legs, the warmth coming from her pussy through her lace panties undeniable. I should take her right here, bend her over the back of the couch and thrust into that sweet pussy until she can’t walk for the next week.
I’ve been waiting twelve years for this.
What’s twelve more minutes in the grand scheme of things? My house. My rules. My Mia once and for all.
“Go on,” I say with a nod. “I’ll be with you shortly.”
Her breath is choppy and she bites her lip nervously as she walks across the room, her high heels clicking clumsily the entire way. She looks over her shoulder at me, and as our eyes connect, I feel like my life is suddenly starting all over again. For the very first time, all these years of pain and suffering are compacted into seconds flashing before my eyes. This was always how things were meant to be. I wonder if she feels the same way.
“Don’t even think about getting off without me,” I command, and her face blushes bright red. “I’ll know. Bad girls get punished.”
“I’ve been really bad,” she says, licking her lips.
I swear she struts out of the room, her head held high, her chest pressed out, and all I can do is bring my fist to my mouth and clear my throat. This woman was my demise since the day I laid eyes on her, and I obviously haven’t learned my fucking lesson.
At least this time around, whatever happens between us will be on my terms.
No lawless thugs will come between us, or over controlling parents. No money, no family guilt, no arranged marriages or bullshit of any kind.
If I fuck this up, it’s all on me.
And that’s scarier than all of that shit combined.
11
Mia:
“What are you doing with your life, Mia?” I whisper, slapping my hands off my face as I nervously pace around his office.
After dinner last night, I crawled straight into bed, pulled the covers up over my head and squeezed my eyes shut tight. I thought telling him about his parents would’ve made him send me away immediately, but instead, he believed me. He trusted me, and it made me feel like a monster.
I couldn’t stop replaying our past in my mind, barely getting a wink of sleep, thinking about all the sweet things he’d done for me back then. Everyone saw him as a mobster, a thug, a bad guy, but with me, he was always so kind and gentle, rescuing kittens and being a perfect gentleman always, even though I know he wanted to get in my pants.
When I showed up for work at Jakub’s office today, nobody treated me like I was there to pay off a debt. I assumed I was going to be scrubbing toilets and licking envelopes, but everybody in that office treated me like I was part of their team the second I walked in the door. I spent most of the day learning everyone in the office’s coffee orders and where we order food from on what days, but I also got to be in the room with Jakub when he met with some of his clients. I’ve never been around celebrities before, and the saying is definitely NOT true. These people aren’t just like us. They don’t put their pants on one leg at a time. Even in their street clothes, they have this magical way about them. You can tell they’re special. Being in the presence makes you feel kind of special, too.
Jakub pulled me aside and told me he didn’t expect me to work my debt off at all. He told me he was just thankful I showed up when I did that night in the hotel. I was a little shocked by his kindness and forgiveness. I guess when you spend your whole life believing you aren’t worthy of any of that, two times in two days is kind of overwhelming.
Like I’ve been so blinded living my life how everyone else wanted me to, that I missed out on all the good stuff.
All it took was a kiss from Serafin to make me realize it’s not too late for me to be saved. We can take off exactly where we left off, scrapes and scars and all.
“What are you doing with your life, Mia?” I whisper again, throwing my dress off over my head and neatly folding it on his desk.
“Finally living it.”
Every minute that ticks by is torture. I don’t know where I’m supposed to stand or sit. I want him in the worst way, but I feel so vulnerable hanging out in his office without any clothes on, as if they’d protect me anyway.
He knows how bad I want him, and I know how bad he wants me by the stiffness of his dick. I lick my lips knowing it’s definitely the biggest one I ever felt in my life. My body quivers in anticipation as I imagine it thrusting in and out of me.
I wonder if he’s watching me right now. I’m sure he has a surveillance system in his house. He would be insane not to. I feel the wetness pool between my thighs as I think about his commanding voice, and I’m half tempted to find out what happens to bad girls.
I don’t know what turns me on more, the thought of a night of rough, toe curling, earth shattering sex after years of waiting and wanting, or the thought of being with a man who I always loved and who has always loved me. It’s such a weird duality, love and lust, good and evil, dirty and pure, youth and experience… he makes me feel it all.
My breath comes out as a whoosh as the large oak office door comes swinging open slowly.
Instinctively, I put one hand over my breasts and one over my mound. I don’t know why I suddenly feel more naked than I’ve ever felt in my life. He smiles at me with hooded eyes and walks over to his desk, barely grazing my body with his as he passes me. I jump nearly three feet into the air, and I’m certain he notices by the chuckle that escapes his lips.
He sinks down in his office chair, rolling up the sleeves of his button down shirt, exposing his sinewed, tattooed, forearms. He’s not in a hurry. For a moment I feel like he doesn’t even realize I’m here, but as he gazes in my eyes and licks his lips, I gasp. He doesn’t even have to touch me and I feel like I’m on fire.
“Your body is beautiful, Mia. Every inch of you is perfection,” he says. “Move your hands so I can see the rest of you.”
I feel so self conscious. I don’t think anyone has ever really looked at my naked body before. Heck, I usually throw a towel on at the very least before I stand in the mirror after I take a shower. The way he looks at me, though, it feels right. I feel like I have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to hide.
I slowly lower my arms, lowering my gaze to the floor. This man staring my body down isn’t the same young guy who pulled my pigtails and stole kisses behind the bakery. He’s a red blooded man with needs, and right now, I know my body is exactly what he’s craving.
I can’t help but wonder how many women he’s had before me. I’m sure they were all glamorous and sexy, or at the very least classier than I am, but I don’t see that in the way he looks at me. I don’t hear it in the way he talks about me. He never made me feel lesser.
As if his mind drifts to the same place of mine, he pulls a cigar out of the drawer and lights it up, leaning over the desk towards me. “Bartek was a very lucky man. Did he make you cum properly?”
My jaw nearly hits the floor. It feels so dirty talking about my previous sexual experiences with him, but then I realize, prior to the incident, I’d always been an open book with him. Serafin was the one person in the world I could tell anything to. Sure, he was crass and crude, but he was a good listener.
“Honestly, Serafin, hearing his name and the word cum in the same sentence makes me want to lose my lunch.” I let out a nervous laugh and smile, but he doesn’t look amused.
“Is that why you left him?”
“It’s hard to force yourself to feel attracted to someone. It’s even harder when you don’t have any choice in the matter.” I don’t want to go to that dark place right now. Standing before him naked and completely vulnerable, I don’t want him to pity me any more than he already does. I know I’m pathetic for a thirty year old woman. I don’t have a pot to piss in, a leg to stand on, I have nothing to show for my entire life. I don’t even have a family w
ho gives a shit about me.
He’s always wanted to be my salvation, and now his wish is coming true.
“Is that how you feel right now, misiu? Without a choice in the matter?”
I walk towards the desk slowly, studying the lines in his face, the way the little beam of setting sunlight filters through the cracked window blinds and lands right on his gorgeous brown eyes. I push his rolling chair back a few inches and put my hands on his face, planting a soft kiss on his head.
“I never had a choice in the matter of you and I, Serafin,” I say. “and it’s not because of you.” I kiss my way down his neck, and he digs his fingers into my back, holding on to me like if he lets go, I’ll disappear again. “We both knew our whole lives, maybe even before we were born, it was something inside of us that neither of us could control.”
I slowly unbutton the top button of his shirt, then another, putting my hand on his muscled chest just where his heart is.
“I’ve always been afraid of you. I’ve always been afraid of it… this… the way you make me feel like the most powerful woman in the world. I’ve always been afraid I’d never be able to live up to your expectations. It’s the only thing that made it easy to walk away.”
I drop down between his knees, undoing his belt.
“I don’t expect anything from you,” he says, his voice strained as I pull his cock from his pants. “Loving you has always been so easy, even when I should’ve hated you. Fuck if I didn’t try.”
I stroke his dick, feeling it swell even more than I imagined possible in my hand. I bring my lips to the tip, tasting his salty precum on my lips for the first time. Everything about him is so familiar, his taste, the smell of his spicy aftershave mixed with the feint aroma of his manly sweat. I’ve never been in this position with him before, but it feels like coming home.
As I take him in my mouth, he leans back in his chair, letting me have complete control.
“You’ve always been the most powerful woman in the world. You’ve always been the most beautiful woman in the world. Even with my dick in your mouth,” he moans, pulling my ponytail holder out of my hair and running his finger through my scalp. I don’t know if the chills running down my spine are from the words or his touch or from the fact that pleasing him like this might be the first time I’ve genuinely felt happiness in my adult life.
