Even when she was a little girl, Renie had a sense of calm about her that soothed everyone around her. He hadn’t been worried as much about how Willow would respond to Renie. He had been more worried about how Renie would respond to Willow. So far, it was good.
He wondered how long it would take before he’d let himself breathe easy, how long it would be before he felt they were really going to be okay.
When they got to the house, Luke was on the front porch waiting for them.
“Did you bring Willow?” he asked.
“Nope, we left her back at the house.”
“What?!”
“Luke,” Renie said, messing up his hair. “He’s kidding. She’s in her car seat.”
“Are you gonna get her out?”
Billy started to say something, but Renie interrupted him. “Yes, Billy will get her out. What’s up Luke?”
“Nuthin’,” he said, looking down at his feet. “She’s kinda fun to play with I guess.”
Ben came out on the porch. “Willow follows Luke around wherever he goes. And she laughs at everything he says. Little bit of hero worship.”
Billy lifted Willow out of the car, who squealed with delight when she saw Luke. “Down,” she said, clear as could be.
“Hey Grandpa, got any cold beer.”
Ben smiled at Billy and raised his hand. Renie closed hers around his before he could make a gesture that either of the kids might mimic.
“I’ll get even with him,” he whispered to Renie. “Thinks he’s so damn funny. I’ll get him when he least expects it.”
“Hey there. Didn’t want to order take-out tonight? Can’t say as I blame you,” said Liv.
“Hey Mom.” Renie hugged her hard. “Thank you so much.”
“Oh sweet girl, I’m not exactly sure what you’re thanking me for, but you’re welcome anyway.”
“For everything, basically.”
They heard a loud crash, followed by a wail out of Willow. Billy went running toward the porch, Renie and Liv followed. Ben was out in front of them.
“I’m sorry Dad, I don’t know what happened,” Luke was standing near Willow, and he was starting to cry himself.
“What did she hit?” Billy shouted as he tried to find something to stop the blood that was flowing from the gash in her head.
“Here,” said Ben, handing Billy his shirt. “Head wounds bleed like crazy. It looks worse than it is.” He turned to Liv, “Go get the keys to the truck baby.”
Renie walked over to Luke, who buried his head up against her. “She’ll be okay, it’ll be okay,” she said to him over and over again.
Billy caught her eye while he was waiting for Liv to bring the truck around. “You can stay here—”
“No, I’ll go with you.” Renie leaned closer to Luke. “You stay here with your dad okay? We’re taking Willow to see a doctor, but I meant what I said. She’ll be okay.”
“Okay,” he said, still sniffling.
“Renie, can you drive?” Billy asked her. Willow was still screaming and trying to wiggle out of Billy’s arms.
“Of course.” She took the keys from her mom and started to get into the truck.
“Bah-ma,” Willow started screaming between her wails, still trying to wiggle away from Billy.
Renie looked at him; he was as white as a sheet.
“Mom, can you come with us?” Renie said. “Can you drive? Billy, get into the back seat with Willow.”
Liv took the keys from her, and Renie climbed into the back seat. Since there wasn’t a car seat in Ben’s truck, she could scoot to the middle, and sit right next to them.
“Are you okay?” Billy asked her.
“I’m fine, and you are too aren’t you precious? You’re gonna be fine, aren’t you?” Renie kept repeating soothing words to Willow who continued to do her best to escape her father’s grasp.
“How’s the bleeding?” she asked.
Billy lifted Ben’s blood-soaked shirt up, afraid of what he’d find. “Looks as though it stopped.”
“Let’s keep the shirt where it was, but why don’t you try to move her over to me.”
“Are you sure?” Billy looked down at his daughter who he was holding around the waist with one arm while he kept the shirt pressed against the gash with the other. It dawned on him that he was holding her so tightly he might be hurting her.
“You want to come sit on Bah-ma’s lap Willow? You can if you want to.”
Willow reached out to her, and Renie lifted her to her lap.
“You’re gonna get blood all over you.”
Renie glared at him.
“Sorry, here,” he handed her the shirt to put up against Willow’s head.
“You doin’ okay back there?” Liv asked from the driver’s seat.
“We’re okay Mom. Thanks for driving.”
“I’m a better driver than a nurse,” Liv answered. “The time I had to take you to the emergency room, Bill had to go with me. Do you remember that Billy? You were a teenager.”
“I remember every second of it,” Billy answered looking out the window.
“You do?” Renie whispered.
“We thought you broke your arm. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Until maybe now.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why were you scared?”
“Because you were.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “And I had no idea how to make you feel better.” He rubbed Willow’s back. “She’s calming down now that she’s with you.”
Renie kissed Willow’s forehead. “Feeling better little one?” she whispered. Willow was still crying, but the wailing had subsided.
“You’re so good with her,” he said and looked back toward the window.
Liv looked in the rear view mirror, she could see Billy’s reflection in it. He looked like a man in pain, and it wasn’t just worry. He looked as though he was about to cry.
“The town clinic is open. They should be able to take care of her here,” she said pulling into the parking lot.
“Billy get out here and help Renie, then I’ll go park.”
Billy was already halfway around the truck before she finished her sentence. Willow let him take her, but looked back to make sure Renie was following them.
They were in the back by the time Liv came inside.
“Hey Liv, how are you?” said Linda who manned the front desk.
“I’m doing okay, better than they are,” she laughed a little. “I was the driver.” She shuddered, “I’m way better with car keys than I am with blood.”
“Skittish are you?”
“Yes, I could never have been a nurse.”
Linda laughed. “Who was that with Renie? I told them to go back and we’d catch up on the paperwork after they saw the doctor.”
“That’s Billy Patterson and his daughter, Willow. Soon to be my son-in-law and grandchild.”
“Oh.” Linda raised her eyebrows.
“What?”
“Renie know what she’s taking on?”
Linda had known Ben all his life, and consequently knew a lot about his family, and Liv, and now Renie. She made it her business to know as much as possible about the town’s residents.
“She’s known Billy a long time,” Liv said before she stopped herself. She didn’t owe Linda any explanations and neither did Renie.
Willow needed six staples to close up the gash in her head. When the doctor asked them what happened neither Billy nor Renie could answer him. They hadn’t pressed Luke to tell them, they were more worried about getting Willow into town.
Billy didn’t look as though he was getting any more color in his face. “Are you okay?” Renie asked him softly. The doctor had given Willow a shot to numb her before he put the staples in. That had been rough, but Willow was calmed down and playing with the buttons on Renie’s shirt.
“I don’t know,” he answered. He got up and paced in the small space of the room they were in.
“She’
s doing better Billy. And she’ll be fine.”
“I know she is.”
“Then what is it?”
He turned and stared at her for what seemed too long. “Can we talk about it later?” He averted his eyes from hers.
They both sat in the back seat with Willow again on the way home while Liv drove. By the time they got to the house, Willow was sound asleep.
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Liv asked them. “Ben can run to town to get her porta-crib. That way you can sleep in a bed tonight instead of on an air mattress. And if you need anything we’ll be here to help.”
Renie looked at Billy, who didn’t appear to be listening. “Billy, would that be okay?”
“What? Yeah, sure. Whatever you want to do is fine.”
“Billy—”
“It’s fine. Okay?” He got out of the truck and carried Willow inside.
“What’s going on?” Liv whispered.
“I have no idea,” answered Renie. “He’s been acting this way since we saw the doctor.”
“Post adrenalin-rush maybe.”
“I get the impression he’s angry with me about something.”
“Why would he be angry with you?”
“Again, no idea.”
“Where are they?” Renie asked Ben when she got inside.
“Downstairs. He wanted to make sure she stayed asleep.”
Liv asked Ben to go into town to get the crib, and he told her his parents had one at their place. He’d run and get it.
“I better go check on them,” Renie said once he’d left.
“Okay sweet girl. Let me know if you need anything.”
Liv couldn’t read the look on Billy’s face on their way to the clinic, or his behavior on the way back. He was troubled by something, more than Willow’s accident.
She went in search of Luke to see how he was feeling. He was playing a video game with Jake. Both of them were unusually quiet. She sat down with them, but let them keep playing. From where she was she could see the door to the bedroom where Renie was with Billy and Willow, and wondered about the conversation taking place in that room.
“Billy?” Renie said softly when she walked into the room.
“Shh,” he answered. She turned on the small lamp on the dresser on the other side of the room so she could see where she was going.
She sat down on the bed. Willow was asleep between them. They stayed quiet for a few minutes. Renie lay down and let her eyes close.
“I don’t understand it.”
“Hmm? What did you say?” She must’ve dozed off.
“I don’t understand why you did it.”
“Did what Billy? What are you talking about?”
“Come on, let’s not talk in here. I don’t want her to wake up.” His voice was a cross between a snap and a whisper.
They went out of the door and saw Liv and the boys in the family room.
Liv looked at them and then asked the boys to come upstairs with her. She thanked them for being so quiet, but suggested they give Billy and Renie privacy.
“Thanks,” Renie murmured as they walked by.
Renie slid down the wall outside the bedroom door, and Billy sat down across from her with his back against the opposite wall.
“Tell me what’s going on Billy.”
“It hurts. It hurts that it took you so God damned long. And for no reason.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You. You’re so good with her. As though there’s never been a problem. So why? Why did you take so fucking long Renie?”
She raised her knees up in front of her, crossed her arms over them and put her head down.
“Don’t you dare hide from me. Answer me dammit. Why? You put me through hell, and now you act as if…”
“As if what Billy?”
He started to speak, and shook his head.
“You act as if you…care about her.” His knees came up and he put his head down on his arms as she had. “It’s makin’ me fucking crazy.”
Renie moved across the hall and sat up against him. “It wasn’t her Billy. It was never Willow.”
“Well what was it then? Huh? What? I’m trying to understand how you could go from not wanting to know her to being so good with her.”
“I thought yesterday…I thought you understood.”
“I did, part of it. But now…it seems as though it was all for nothing. All the hurt, all the time we were apart. There was no reason for it.”
She didn’t answer him. She got up, walked into her room, grabbed her shoes and jacket, and went upstairs. “Stay with her,” she snapped at him.
She didn’t see her mother when she got upstairs, but Ben was sitting at the table with the boys. They were eating ice cream.
“Where ya off to?” he asked her.
“Going for a walk,” she said and slammed the front door closed behind her.
“What was that all about?” Liv asked, walking back into the kitchen.
All three of them shrugged their shoulders.
Liv found Billy sitting on the floor outside of the bedroom when she went downstairs.
“What’s going on with you Patterson?”
“I’m pissed.”
“I never would’ve guessed.” She paused. “What are you pissed about?”
“That it’s fine. It’s all fine. Why the hell did it take us eight months to get here if there’s no fucking problem?” he took a deep breath.
“Shit Liv, Willow loves Renie. Here I thought I was gonna have to run interference between them, ya know? But no, she’s fine. And I’m not talkin’ about Willow, I’m talkin’ about Renie. Did you see her? She was fine. She was better than fine. She’s great with Willow.”
Liv took a deep breath herself, and waited for a couple of minutes before she answered him, trying to figure out how best to do it.
He didn’t give her a chance. “I missed her so much. And there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I couldn’t leave Willow to come chasin’ after Renie. Not when she was so little.” He put his head back down on his arms.
“It’s got to be one way or the other Billy. You have to decide which it will be and stick with it.”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about now Livvie?”
“You can’t tell her you understood how she felt one minute, and then turn around and tell her you don’t understand her actions the next. Her feelings drove her actions.”
“But she’s fine.”
“Billy, you know her. When has Renie not been fine?”
He didn’t answer her.
“If you stopped for a minute and paid attention, you might find she’s not fine. You might find she’s scared to death by all of this. It’s what she does. She keeps her feelings to herself when she thinks it might upset someone else. She pretends as though everything is fine until she gets to the point where she implodes. That’s what these last eight months have been about. They haven’t been about you, or about your daughter. They’ve been about my daughter.”
Billy still didn’t speak, but he was looking at her.
“Instead of being mad at her, maybe you should talk to her and see how she is. You won’t find out by looking at her Billy. Jesus, haven’t you learned anything?” Now Liv was mad, at Billy.
“Okay, okay, settle down now,” he said. Jeez, he didn’t need Liv mad at him now too.
“Don’t you tell me to settle down Billy Patterson. Do you realize your mother was the only person who realized what was going on with Renie? I didn’t know how she felt about you. I never saw it, and I’m her mother. How do you think that makes me feel?”
She stood. “So pull your head out of your ass Billy, go find her and tell her you’re sorry.”
“But—”
“Go!” She stomped her foot and pointed at the stairs.
“Willow.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake, I’ll stay with Willow. Go find her.”
Billy figured he didn’t have much choice.
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know!” Liv was yelling at him now. He’d better get going or she would wake Willow up, or maybe hit him or something.
When he went out the front door, Renie was sitting on the porch steps. He sat down next to her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” she answered.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know what to tell you Billy, just because things seem—”
“Stop.” He put his hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that.”
She looked away from him.
“This won’t be easy, I know that. And I’m sorry I got mad at you.”
“But?”
“Nope. No buts. I’m sorry, and I’m not gonna make any excuses.”
“But you’re still mad at me.”
“Yeah, I am. And I might be mad at you for a while, but that’s my problem. And it isn’t so much that I’m mad at you, I’m hurt. You hurt me.”
She started to say something.
“But,” he said before she could. “That’s how I feel if I’m thinkin’ about me. If I start thinkin’ about you, I’m not mad. I have to keep workin’ on it Renie.”
“I thought you understood.”
“I did. I do. I get confused sometimes. Your mom told me that I can’t tell you that I understand how you felt, but then turn around and say that I don’t understand what you did. That made a lot of sense to me. I’m hurt by your actions, but I understand how you felt. It’s gotta be one or the other.”
“And?”
“I’m here and I’m not goin’ anywhere. Unless you come with me, that is.”
He took her hand in his. “You didn’t throw your ring out in the pasture. That’s a good sign.”
She laughed. “I wouldn’t do that Billy.”
“Nah, you wouldn’t. Sounds more like somethin’ I’d do.”
Chapter 23
“Hey Mom,” Renie said when she walked in the front door.
“Hey honey, or should I say honeys.”
Renie set Willow down. She ran over and wrapped her arms around Liv’s legs. “Gah-ma.”
And Then You Dance (Crested Butte Cowboys Series Book 2) Page 24
