I was crazy.
Crazy for thinking this was a good idea. Crazy for coming here. Bat shit crazy for standing here watching, waiting, to see this man through his orgasm. Certifiable for wishing I was the one who drove him to that sweet ending.
“Well what are you waiting for?” Blackie taunted from behind me.
Jack’s hips buckled, and he shouted something I couldn’t make out since I was too far away. I bet whatever it was he cried out was dirty. Real dirty.
“This is the best fucking night of my life,” a young guy exclaimed, as he stood in front of me blocking my view of Jack. I lifted my eyes to his as he flipped the baseball cap he was wearing around so that the rim wasn’t blocking his eyes.
“Who are you, sexy mama?” He asked, reaching out to run his hand along my side.
“Riggs, she’s here for the Bulldog,” Blackie clipped.
I snapped out of the semi-catatonic state I was in and shoved the pie against the young guy’s chest, forcing him to take hold of it.
“I’ve got to go,” I mumbled, turning around and slamming into Blackie’s chest. He glanced down at me, a sly grin on his face.
“Can’t hack it,” he accused. For the first time since I stepped foot into Jack’s world I actually felt frightened. I stared up at Blackie, fearful that he would block my escape and force me to wait around for Jack to zip his fly.
“No I can’t,” I whispered, giving him the words he wanted to hear me say. Blackie stared at me for a minute, quietly assessing me before clearing the path for me to pass.
“Don’t look back, little lady,” he warned.
I didn’t tell him that I wouldn’t look back, that the images of Jack were embedded in my brain. The memory of his face would burn ferociously inside of me, warming me on the cold lonely nights.
I pushed passed Blackie, running from Jack and his dark life. My feet hit the pavement outside the warehouse, carrying me away from the Satan’s Knight’s clubhouse. Only when I was outside of the gates did I turn and look back at the building. I conceded that my therapist was wrong. Jack was not someone I needed in my life. He may have given me a glimpse of the girl I used to be but there was no hope in him being the man who resurrected the old Reina.
It was hopeless.
I was hopeless.
I looked down at my clothing, vowing to donate all my old clothes to charity, rid myself of the disguises and false hope that I’d ever be healed. I was merely a ghost of Reina DeCarlo.
Chapter Eight
I stared down at the brunette who sucked me off, milking every drop of come into that polluted mouth of hers. She wiped at her dry, cracked lips with the back of her hand as she stood on her platform heels, grinning at me, so fucking proud of herself. Whore.
She was a dime a dozen, been through half the men in the club, spreading her legs on command.
“How ‘bout that ride now, Bulldog?” She purred, lifting her skirt as she moved to sit on my lap. She wrapped her boney arms around my neck as she rocked herself against my semi-soft dick.
I grabbed hold of her hips and pushed her off of me.
“Served your purpose, keep it movin’ girl,” I ground out, raising my hips and pulling up my jeans. She glared at me before diverting her eyes to Riggs as he plopped his ass down beside me on the sofa.
I was already a forgotten thought as she rounded the back of the couch and massaged Riggs’ shoulders. My guess, by the end of the night she’ll have a dick in each hole.
“Best fucking pie ever,” Riggs said with a full mouth, shrugging the whore’s hands off of him. “You guys really went all out. I don’t remember baked goods at any other club party.”
Riggs dug his finger into the crust of the pie, pulling it back to lick the cherry filling off of the tip.
Cherry pie.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, a sickening feeling creeping into my gut as I rose to my full height and stared at the pie in his lap.
Riggs lifted his eyes to mine, licking his lips, savoring the flavor. I grabbed the pie off his lap and held it in my hands, staring at it like it was a foreign object before glancing around the clubhouse.
“Hey, wait a minute, give that back man,” Riggs exclaimed, reaching for the pie.
“Where. Did. You. Get. The. Fucking. Pie?” I asked, gritting my teeth.
“Some fucking hot blonde brought it by before she took off,” he responded, holding out his hands for the pie. “Now give it back.”
I shook my head, convinced my mind was playing tricks on me again. Reina couldn’t have really been here. I glanced back down at the pie in my hands for a moment before shoving it back to Riggs.
“Where is she now?”
“How the hell should I know?” He responded, shrugging his shoulders. Digging into the pie again he closed his eyes as pleasure consumed his taste buds, opening them as he swallowed. “Blackie was on her like white on rice, bet he knows where the pie goddess is,” he pointed out. “Do a brother a solid? When you find her ask her if she’ll be my personal baker, will you?” He questioned hopefully.
Blackie.
I’ll fucking kill him. Gut him like a fucking fish if he touched her.
I don’t know where the possessiveness came from, didn’t really care either. Reina came here looking for me.
She brought me a pie.
I’d be fucking damned if I would let any of the brothers make a play for her. She wasn’t like the rest of the women here. Most of them club whores who had their cunts stretched by every dick in this place.
I stalked through the clubhouse, eyes searching for my vice president. I didn’t even realize my hand had subconsciously pulled my knife from my pocket or that my other hand had clenched into a tight fist at my side.
“Looking for someone?” I heard Blackie ask from behind me causing me to freeze in my tracks. I slowly turned around, my grip tightening around the knife. He lifted the joint he was smoking, which was small enough to be a roach, to his mouth and took a hit. He inhaled, holding his breath for a moment to get the most out of his hit. He exhaled a stream of smoke, flicking the joint onto the ground before crushing it with his boot.
“What’d you do with her?” I growled, grabbing hold of his throat and yanking him forward, desperate to see fear in his eyes, knowing it would never come. He gave me nothing, remained calm, allowing me to dig my fingers into his throat without so much as blinking an eye.
“I find you laid so much as a finger on her I will cut you,” I threatened, leaning close to his ear so my words were only his to hear.
“Go ahead, brother.” His last word, a reminder that this man I was choking, threatening to slice, was more of a brother than my biological brother.
“Be doing me a favor,” he struggled to bite out.
I dug my fingers deeper, my control slipping as I pulled back a fraction and stared into his blank eyes. Blackie was going through his own shit in his life, had been ever since his junkie of a wife overdosed. He never bounced back from that, much like I had never been right since my son’s death. I kept myself medicated to carry on while Blackie kept himself drunk. He was a functioning alcoholic, making it hard to keep track of when he was deep into a bottle or stone cold sober. The stench of whiskey ripped through my senses affirming the latter was usually never the case.
“Christ, you fucking reek,” I hissed, loosening my grip on his throat and watching as he stumbled backward slightly. I shook my head in disgust, disappointed in both him and myself. Him, for letting that no good bitch fuck up the rest of his life because she was a greedy old lady who loved the needle more than she loved him. Me, because I was losing control over some pussy I had no business having. Reina wasn’t even my type. Not that I was picky, I’d fuck anything with two legs and a hole but I normally steered clear from the damsel in distress bit. It wasn’t my thing. I was no prince. I wasn’t the rescuing type.
Too consumed with my own thoughts I didn’t see it coming but
I sure as hell fucking felt it when Blackie’s fist collided with my jaw, making it my turn to stumble backward.
“Fuck you Bulldog,” he barked. “You ever put your fucking hands on me again and I will cut you with your own fucking knife. President or no goddamn president, brother or not, friend or motherfucking foe. You read me?” He questioned, eyes cold as they pierced me. “Now, I don’t know where your fucking girl is but if I had to guess she ran as far as she could from here.”
I worked my jaw, the blinding pain a reminder of a line I crossed with my vice president. Blackie blew out a breath, staring at me for a moment before shaking his head.
“She stormed the fuck out of here after she watched you get your dick sucked,” he sneered, closing the little space between us. “Don’t know much, but it’s plain to see you’re twisting for a taste of her,” he said, piercing me with a steady glare. “And with all you got on your plate, don’t think you can handle a piece like that on top of everything else.”
“Not your business, Blackie,” I hissed, watching as he leaned over the bar and snatched a bottle of whiskey. He took a swig, flinching a little as the burning liquid worked its way down his throat.
“I don’t recall asking your opinion,” I added.
He looked over his shoulder at me and remained silent for a moment before passing the whiskey my way. I reached for the bottle, took a gulp to numb the pain in my face.
“You got me running around, looking for a way to get close to Jimmy Gold, so you can have your revenge. You don’t give a shit, by doing so you’re setting this club up for heat we don’t fucking need,” he said roughly. “Now, I’m the man that stands beside you, has your back before anyone else and my job is to warn you when you’re in over your head,” he shook his head as he sighed. “That girl don’t have what it takes to handle you, man,” he continued, his voice barely a whisper. He seized back the bottle and took another healthy swig, shaking off the burn like a champ. “I’m telling you because I was one of the men that stood beside you when you went down that dark fucking path. You get in with the likes of a woman like that, you’re setting yourself up for all sorts of drama. You’re paving the way to that road again. Don’t want that for you. Not now. Not ever.”
“Appreciate the concern but it’s not like that,” I bit back. “She’s nobody.”
“Oh she’s somebody,” he confirmed, as he peered at me hugging his bottle. “And we’re all fucked once you realize that.”
There was no sense arguing with Blackie, no point in telling him that Reina was just some broad who served me coffee. I was the fucking president of these men, this was my club, my territory and they answered to me.
“You think I don’t know what you say behind my back?” He asked, his eyes roaming around the clubhouse. “What you all truly think about me? You pity the sucker I am for grieving over a woman who you all think doesn’t deserve my grief. You judge me because I fell for a woman, got fucked over by her and then lost myself when I lost her. She wasn’t always a junkie and the only reason she ever became one was because of me and the life I exposed her too. She looked as pure and as innocent as the doe-eyed woman that came here to deliver you a goddamn pie.”
“I don’t pity you any more than you pity me,” I insisted. I knew Blackie’s concern came from a good place, and he was right, he had seen me through a lot of dark days. The man had my back when my boy died. He stood up and defended me when my illness came to light. He made sure my daughter was cared for when I had to do a bid for a weapons charge. Blackie was closer to me than my real brother.
“You’re wrong. None of us judge what you feel. You’re entitled, and like you’re concerned for me, every one of us here is concerned that you love that bottle as much as your woman loved the needle.” He reared his hand back, fire in his eyes at the mention of his wife. I twisted my cheek, offered it up to him. “Go ahead, if it makes you feel something, anything other than the shit you feel every day.”
I like to think I had returned the favor; that I was there for him when his wife died. But like I depended on my meds he depended on his liquor.
“That woman you saw tonight is nobody, you hear me? But you’re right, she isn’t made for this life, not meant to be part of this club.”
“Then she’s not meant for you because your life is this club,” Blackie interjected.
I stared at him for a moment, allowing his words to stir before I tipped my chin toward him.
“I think we’re about done here,” I stated, sucking in a breath.
“Then I guess we are,” he agreed, bringing his hand to his forehead in mock salute of me.
“Go easy on that shit,” I said, before turning around and stalking through my club, straight out the door.
Defiance.
It was the one thing in life I excelled at.
So I did what I did best, I defied the truth, defied the facts and instead I did whatever the fuck I wanted. And right now I wanted Reina.
It didn’t take me long to ride to her complex, keeping with the mantra and defying speed limits. I turned off my bike and threw my leg over, lifting my head staring at the building she lived in. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing anymore. One minute I was looking for a way to kill Jimmy and make him pay for what he did to Danny. The next I was chasing after his fucking girl. I should listen to Blackie, get my head together and steer clear of Reina but all that goodness she radiated was something I wanted to taste.
I rapped my knuckles against her door before roughly threading my fingers through my hair. The door opened, and I lifted my head to stare into her shocked eyes. She was wearing make-up, and miles of blonde hair sat on the top of her head in a messy bun, pulling it away from her face. My eyes roamed the length of her, taking in the tight jeans that molded her legs and clung to her hips. The black tank top she wore was also tight and form fitting, giving me the first real chance to check out her tits. The desire to rip her shirt to shreds washed over me. I heard myself growl and instantly lifted my eyes to hers as she tried to close the door.
I stuck my boot in the doorway preventing her from pushing me away and stared at her like an animal seeking its prey.
“Give it up, sunshine,” I rasped. “I came here for a fucking reason and I’m not leaving until I get it.”
And I decided right then, the reason I showed up at her place was to get a taste of the goodness that was Reina.
Chapter Nine
Her eyes peered into mine, scared and uncertain. Damn if that didn’t set something off inside of me. I was a twisted fuck, torn between hating the idea that I scared her and getting off on it just as much.
“Jack,” she whispered, gripping the door, knuckles fading to white as she stared down at my boot.
“Like the way you say my name, Sunshine,” I ground out, placing my hand on the doorknob and throwing my weight into it as it fell open and she stumbled back. Her gasp excited me, the perfect O her lips formed had my dick stirring to life and encouraged me to keep at her. I kicked the door closed with the heel of my boot. For every step I took, she took one away from me. I took two long strides toward her, caging her in once her back hit the wall.
“Don’t,” she ordered, her voice struggling to sound stern. “You come any closer and I will scream,” she said, through clenched teeth as she brushed away the tendrils of hair that fell into her eyes.
My lips quirked, “That’s the plan, baby.” I bit my lip and shook my head, drowning in visions of Reina throwing her head back and screaming out for me to fuck her hard. Her tongue sneaked out of her mouth, running along the seam her perfect lips. My dick liked that subtle move—liked it a lot. I reached down, cupped my erection through my jeans and moaned, never tearing my eyes from hers.
“You’re disgusting,” she hissed, her eyes narrowing, dipping to my crotch before snapping back to my face. Something snapped in those brown eyes of hers, something so fucking amazing to watch—like life was reborn in them in that second. Sh
e pushed off the wall, closing the distance between us, and poked her finger into my hard chest.
“I get you’re this badass biker who throws his weight around and gets people to follow your every command, but you don’t get to come into my home and demand shit from me. I can’t control who comes into the diner but I have a say in who comes into my apartment and into my life—you don’t make the cut…Bulldog,” she whispered. My road name sounding as if it was venom on her tongue.
I thought I was a goner when she called my God given name, but hearing my road name come from her mouth took everything to another level. Nothing else seemed to exist other than this woman before me and the unexplainable need to have her say my name over and over again.
“There you go riding on that high horse of yours again. Why don’t you do us both a favor and step off? I promise I’ll give you something better to ride,” I suggested, crossing my arms against my chest.
She glanced down, those electric eyes of hers zeroing in on my dick and then again she lifted them to mine, her lips curled in disgust.
“I’m not interested.”
I laughed, leaning in, feeling her breath on my lips. “Liar.”
I reached out, my fingertips tracing the length of her neck, twitching and begging to wrap around her neck and give her a little squeeze. Just a little one. Tiny. Miniscule.
I cupped the back of her neck, jerked her head back and forced her to look at me.
“Bet the house that pussy of yours is drenched for me,” I growled.
“I saw you,” she blurted, reaching behind her to brush away my hand but I tightened my grip on her. “I went to that place, that despicable warehouse of yours and I saw you,” she stressed her last word, driving the stake deep through the skin, slicing through the demented exterior of my resolve.
She wrenched my fingers from her neck and took a retreating step backward.
“I convinced myself that I owed you an apology, that, maybe I had misjudged you. But I was on point the other night—actually, I wasn’t,” she corrected herself, shaking her head. “I thought you were just this guy who ran in the wrong circles but you’re much worse. I’m sure people gravitate to you, people who crave the high you give with your dirty mouth and your filthy ways. I’m not one of those people,” she sneered, glancing toward the door. “Now, I believe I’ve made myself perfectly clear so if you would just see yourself out we could forget you ever walked into Dee’s diner and that our paths ever crossed.”
Uncontrollable Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 3) Page 6
